This one, as promised, has a lot of Ferb in it. I've been foreshadowing this, though, haven't I? I can honestly see Buford calling Ferb 'Lurch', by the way. Although he's never done it in the actual show, I put it in, because I don't see him as the kind of guy to call anyone by their real name all the time.

P.S.: In case you care, I drove today. I very much like driving. I've said since I was about twelve that I didn't want to drive, that I'd hate it, blah blah. But I said that about texting, and NOW look at me. I text more than a teenage girl (sorry if that's sexist: in my experience, teenage girls tend to text a lot).

Fear Number Five: Ferb Thomas Fletcher

Ferb Fletcher was always a very… interesting person.

First of all, that wasn't really his first name. No one knew who started calling him "Ferb", where it came from, or even what his real name was. Buford even doubted Ferb's own siblings knew.

His appearance was a bit odd as well. Ferb looked fairly normal. If anything, his face and build were too perfect to be normal. But, of course, it was the same for his stepbrother, and also Candace, as well. In their household, good looks were the norm.

But Ferb's hair and eye colors were unlike anything naturally occurring in nature. His hair was bright green, the exact shade of grass, and his eyes were a strange, almost alien shade of lavender.

However, the strangest thing about Ferb was his personality and mannerisms.

Ferb was silent most of the time, speaking only when spoken to, or whenever he had a point to get across or something else equally important to say. He generally showed no emotion at all, and when he did, it was usually something subtle, like a soft smile or a cold glare. The way he moved, even, was graceful, never stumbling, almost to the point of surrealism.

Ferb also did extremely weird things from time to time. Nothing too absurd or distracting, just little things, such as the way he occasionally would tear off pieces of his lunch bag and rip them into certain patterns, like swirls or zigzags. Then there was of course the almost OCD way he ate bologna sandwiches.

He never seemed to get close to anyone, either. The only one Ferb ever really had conversations with was his brother, Phineas, who he was almost overly-protective of. Occasionally, Ferb would be invited to something, or asked out by some stuttering young girl, but he would decline every time. He refused to go anywhere without Phineas.

There was one other important detail about Ferb Fletcher that few, if anyone, knew.

Buford VanStromm was completely, totally, unnaturally afraid of him.

Buford himself had no idea why. Ferb may have had height, but he was a toothpick compared to the boulder that was Buford. Not to mention the fact that Ferb by nature would never hurt anyone unless it was absolutely necessary, mostly out of wanting to avoid conflict.

It may have been due to the fact that Ferb once used the Vulcan nerve pinch on him after a brief conversation on sharks. Or how utterly terrifying Ferb was when angered. At those times, he sent out a vibe of "F- - with me, and you die."

The two had never really gotten along much, more than likely due to Ferb's stoic personality (enough to weird almost anyone out) and the one time Buford picked on Phineas (One time was all it took to anger Ferb).

Unfortunately, they were now…

…both having to stuff envelopes in the front office of their school.

It all started when Buford got in trouble for spray-painting "Skool sux" on the back wall of the gym. He might have even gotten away with it, if only he had had the common sense not to have signed his name on his handiwork in big, bright orange letters.

First, Buford had to clean up his mess. Then it was straight to the front office to help out, much like a community service sentence. He wasn't looking forward to it.

The worst part, however, was walking into the office, and finding Ferb sitting there, already getting to work.

"What?!" exclaimed Buford. "What are YOU doing here?!"

Ferb shrugged. "I have second period free."

"So?"

No answer. Typical of Ferb.

"Yeah. I just got busted." Buford sighed, sitting down.

The two went on in silence for awhile. After awhile, Ferb started slowing down some.

"Hey, what's the-" Buford stopped, noticing the half-asleep look on Ferb's face. He was obviously worn out.

The bell rang, ushering in third period, and Ferb got up and left.

Later on, at lunch, Buford noticed that Ferb wasn't at the table. But of course, that didn't make him care.

Isabella was playing on the internet with her phone, and Baljeet had at least two math books open, working.

"What you doing?" Buford asked him.

"Calculus."

Buford laughed.

"What?"

He poked Baljeet repeatedly, singing, "Baljeet is an over-achiever…"

"Stop that!"

Isabella sighed. "Buford, stop it."

They went back to silence for awhile. It was driving Buford to the very brink of insanity, so he had no choice but to break it.

"So, uh…" he started. "You guys know what happened to Lurch?"

"You do know Ferb would not like you calling him that?" asked Baljeet.

"Yeah, I know," said Buford. "I just don't care."

"To answer your question, though," replied Isabella, "He checked out to go see Phineas."

A long silence.

"You still haven't noticed that Phineas has been out of school for two weeks."

"Yeah… I'm not that observant."

"We know."

So Ferb cared a lot about his little brother. Almost like Buford's own, from what he remembered.

Buford would have to find Ferb later…

0-0-0

At the end of the day, Buford decided to go over to the Flynn-Fletcher house to see if he could find him. No one was there but Perry, lying flat on the ground, staring up at the sky.

Perry was almost as strange as his "brother", and twice as silent, but unlike Ferb, he was actually mute. He also typically showed more emotion than Ferb, using facial expression as his only form of communication.

"Hey! Perry!"

The Australian looked up.

"You know where Ferb is?"

Perry raised an eyebrow, frowning. Why do you care to know?

Buford sighed. "If you don't know, that's fine. Just askin'."

You do know I can't talk?

"You do know he can't talk?" asked an accented voice from behind him.

Buford spun around, to find Ferb standing right behind him. Buford jumped.

"Ah! What're you doing here?!"

Ferb raised an eyebrow. "This is my house. You'll find that I'm here a lot."

Buford sighed, rolling his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. I meant, what're you doing RIGHT HERE?"

"I could ask you the same question."

Buford paused awkwardly. "Well… Actually, I'm here to talk to you."

Ferb made a weird face, a mixture of surprise and skepticism.

Perry leapt to his feet, an awkward, shocked look on his face. Oh, crap, is it getting gay in here? With that, he dashed inside the house. Wellll… Perry out. PEACE!

"I… heard you've been in and out'a school a whole lot since Dinner Bell got sick."

Ferb nodded.

"You, uh…" Buford started. "You're a pretty good brother, huh?"

"I wouldn't say that much."

"It's true, though," said Buford. "Just so ya know."

There was a really long pause between that and Buford's next line.

"Y'know, I had a brother like you once," he said. "His name was Kevin. You wouldn't know him, though. He…" Buford cut himself off. "He was s'posed to be around Candace's age now."

Ferb gasped silently, then looked away.

"He was in gangs an' all. I guess he kinda asked for it." Buford sighed. "Still… He was one hell of a brother. The best. He looked out for me like…" He trailed off, looking at Ferb.

…Like you look out for Phineas.

Buford finally gathered his thoughts. "You'd better not let anything happen to you, limey boy, or else you'll be hearin' from me! You got that?"

"…" Ferb let a small smile slip onto his face and sighed. "I won't."

"Good! 'Cause I ain't gonna hear of no sad little brothers! Not on my watch!"

Ferb started to walk away.

"Hey, aren't you gonna invite me in?" asked Buford.

Ferb shook his head, not turning around. "No. No I'm not."

"What? But…" Buford was startled. "I thought this was, like, the big dramatic turning point! Where we start getting along!"

"I'm not Gaara. You're not Naruto. This isn't anime. So get over yourself," Ferb answered bluntly.

"I KNEW you didn't like me!!"

"I never said I didn't like you. I just don't trust you."

Buford pouted. "And why the hell not?!"

"Because you're too prone to violent acts and delinquent behavior for me to fully except you being anywhere near my younger brother. Not to mention that you've hurt him before."

"ONCE!! THAT WAS FIVE YEARS AGO!!"

Ferb sighed. "If you can prove to me that you won't do it again, as unlikely as that is, we can get along. Until then…" He shut the screen door in Buford's face.

"HEY!!" Buford banged on the door furiously.

Ferb then shut the wooden, inside door. Buford heard it locking and growled. Then he sighed, and eventually smiled. He started laughing.

"Yep, that's Ferb! Practically a Kevin clone…"

The second thing about Ferb was his amazing memory, and his ability to hold grudges.

The end of fears. Next is on to random stuff, like a day in the life of Buford, and etc.

Ferb snapped on him, LOL. I just don't see him liking Buford all too much after the whole 'sharks' incident, or the thing before.

Kevin is my sorta-OC. I use him from time to time in Buford flashbacks, and as a ghost. I'm debating doing that in one chapter… Whatdya think? Kevin ghostie or no?

And I've also written a prologue for chapter 4, where Phineas actually gets sick. I'm gonna post it as the bonus chapter.

MAJOR props goes to all who reviewed this epic story (LOL), especially sunsetofdoom and RandomPeopleRox, the latter of which I would love to point out is a DAYWALKAH!! (points accusingly)

…LOL.