A squiggly little worm into my apple bit.
He chomped and chomped until the core he hit.
I asked him why he did it,
And thought it sounds absurd,
He said, "I love apples."
Now that is what I heard.
Where the Wild Apples Grow
Chapter Twelve: In Which She Sees Skin
When I entered the bathroom to take a shower, I locked the door behind me. I stripped off all my clothes and stared at myself in the mirror. Same ol bag o' bones. I could see the veins in my chest. Disgusted, and with tears filling my eyes, I turned towards the bathtub and started the water.
I looked down at the flannel shirt on the floor that I had carelessly thrown. Licking my dry lips, I carefully folded it and put it on the toilet. Steam began to fill the room, and I opened the window. The fall air brought with it the scent of apples from below.
Shivering, I went under the hot water.
There was a burst of pain and I quickly made it colder. As I got used to the warmth, I slowly turned it in the other direction. The cold from outside and the heat from the water made even more steam. I put my hair under the water and slowly let it soak in. I grabbed the shampoo and lathered my hair.
My day had been going so well. At least, compared to two months ago...
Earlier that day.
It was Friday afternoon, and I was a bit happy to be going back home. I only had a few problems in Algebra to do, but those would be easy for me to finish. The entire ride home, I bounced in my seat eagerly. I couldn't wait to go to the orchard for the rest of the afternoon.
Today was a fine day for sitting outside; instead of a brisk chilliness, there was nice warmth that permeated the air, and the sun was shining brightly. There weren't any clouds. A perfect Friday. Well, at least it would be if I wasn't stuck on the bus. I would really hate riding this thing for the rest of the year.
I wondered where I would be in a year. Would this pain hurt as much? Would I have friends? Would I like riding the bus?
I leaned my head against the window, annoyed that the window shook and that it was uncomfortable. I couldn't help but think that Aunt Esme's car windows were much more comfy. I pillowed up my hair against the glass and that made it a bit better. I stared aimlessly out at the trees, which were beginning to turn vivid colors of red and yellow.
The bus slowly rode to a stop, and I leaned forward involuntarily and my pillow hair slipped. I glanced around to see where we were. There was nobody else on, so that meant it was my stop. I got up and grabbed my backpack and stepped off the bus. I stood there and watched the bus turn a corner until it was fully gone.
They dropped me off at the bottom of the hill. I would have to climb all the way up it to get to the house. I would've normally been annoyed at this: couldn't they have just gone all the way up and turned around? But today was Friday. And it was nice out. And I was seeing my tree in a few minutes.
I slowly began to hike, taking in the silence of the country and the chilliness of the air. It was so much different from Arizona that it was laughable. I breathed in fresh air and breathed it out as well. I almost wanted to close my eyes, but I would probably trip over some stray branches.
Suddenly, I heard footsteps coming from somewhere. I glanced behind me quickly, abruptly aware of how isolated I was. What if somebody came and killed me? Raped me? There would be nobody to hear me scream.
But when I saw the red hair coming down the hill, I relaxed immediately, but then sprang back up. That was Edward! And he was running towards me! Did he just come from the house? We just got out of school! How did he get here so fast?
I couldn't think of anything to say, and he was coming closer.
I slowly started to walk again, my heart racing with each step as he came closer.
But as the moment approached, and he finally passed me, all he did was nod in my direction and continue jogging. I had to keep myself from smiling, though. He wasn't wearing any exercise clothes, but his jeans and a white T-shirt.
I glanced behind me. When I did, his jeans slipped down a little, and I saw his dark green and red plaid boxers, and a thin line of skin above them. A strange feeling pumped through me, one I had only read about, but never really felt. My mouth fell open, and I felt myself start to blush. I covered my face, and quickly turned around and practically ran home.
I knocked several times on the door, completely out of breath. While I waited for someone to answer, I leaned against the wall of the house. I let my backpack slid onto the porch floor. What was that? I felt so…confused. The coolness of the air made me shiver.
That was so weird. I got…flustered by the sight of his underwear? Not to mention that piece of skin…I let out a shaky breath.
Should I be feeling this way only a few months after my father died? Plus, I barely even knew Edward, except that he was a senior, he was cool, and he lived with Carlisle. Oh, and he was working on some big project with Emmett –
The door suddenly opened, and my mother's sad face peeked around the corner. I felt shamed by my thoughts. Here was my mother, falling into a spiraling hole of depression, and I was choked up by the thought of Edward's –
I felt that flush of heat cross my skin again.
"Come on in," Mom whispered and opened the door wider.
I gave her a timid smile, which she barely returned. I walked inside and told her that I would be in my room if she needed me. She nodded and went back into the living room. I sighed and went upstairs, trying not to cry.
I slid off my sneakers when I entered my room. The sun shone brightly through the window. I sighed and opened the window slightly. Papers lying on my desk fluttered in the breeze, and I put a book on top of them to hold them down. When I was finished with that, I jumped on top of my bed.
It molded to my shape, and I sunk into it. I buried my face into my pillow and breathed in deep.
When I let it out, tears fell down my face.
Somehow, I didn't wake up until Alice came home.
I was freezing cold. It was six o'clock on the dot. I felt completely disoriented, because the sun was setting in the sky. I bit my lip in complete disappointment. That meant I couldn't go out to the orchard! I firmly shut the window, angry with myself.
Since it was becoming dark outside, I could see my reflection in the window. My hair was a rat's nest. Groaning, I grabbed a nearby comb and brushed through it harshly. When I was done, my hair was completely flat, which wasn't much of an improvement. Giving up, I put on some fuzzy socks and went downstairs.
I could smell fried chicken coming from the kitchen. I gave a little smile. That was my favorite food. How did Aunt Esme know? I hadn't told her anything about it. And my mother for sure wouldn't say anything. It seemed that since she took us to Pennsylvania, and that I had someone to look after me, she had given up.
My smile fell flat.
My mother was still on the couch, staring blankly at the news. Alice was sitting beside her, knees curled up around her chest. She heard me come in and waved at me to come and sit down next to her. I went over and did so.
"Hey, Bellsy. How're things?" Alice turned her head towards me to see my answer.
"Fine," I replied, giving a slight smile. "When's dinner going to be ready?"
"In about fifteen minutes," Aunt Esme called from the kitchen.
I must've made a weirded out face, because Alice said, "It still freaks me out how she can hear from so far away."
I nodded in agreement.
Alice lowered her voice. "Do you think you could ask Aunt Renee to change the channel to National Geographic?"
It sounded weird hearing my mother as 'Aunt Renee', and the fact that Alice was scared of her. It made me sad. Normally, my mother was a happy and friendly person. She would've loved Alice if she wasn't so sad all the time.
"Yeah. Sure," I whispered back. "Mom? Could you hand me the remote?"
She blinked and slowly turned her head and handed it gently to Alice. Alice thanked her kindly and switched channels.
"So, what are you going to do this weekend?" Alice asked, turning her head towards me.
I shrugged. "Homework. Watch a movie. Sleep."
"Sounds boring," Alice commented.
I bobbed my head. "What are you going to do?"
Alice smiled. "Hang around here this weekend. Normally I'd hang out with Rosalie or Jasper, but since this is your first official weekend here, I figured we could chill with each other."
My lips twitched. "Chill?"
Alice gave a mock-defensive look. "Hey, everyone's saying it nowadays. Gotta keep up with the times, Bellsy."
I gave a small snort.
She began to say something, but then Aunt Esme yelled out, "Get your dinner folks!"
Alice and I stood up and headed towards the kitchen.
"I'll get you some food, Mom," I said as I walked passed her.
She didn't say anything. Her eyes were pinioned on the television screen.
I licked my lips and followed Alice.
Present
The hot water trickled out. A loud knock made me jump.
"Bella? Are you alright in there?" Aunt Esme said through the door. "You've been in there for a while."
I cleared my throat. "I'm fine."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. Perfectly fine."
Lie.
"Well, it's time you get out now. It's almost ten." I heard her footsteps walk away, and I sighed.
That night, I had dreams of white hot skin. Wet kisses going up thighs.
When I woke up, it was four o'clock in the morning, and I had a yearning for something I was sure I could never have.
The air brought with it certain refreshment to it, but I still couldn't shake the dream off my mind.
It was completely dark out. I was freezing, and I wasn't entirely sure where I was going. I kept my hand on trees for guidance.
After a while, I found my tree.
But what surprised me was what was under the tree. It had to be an illusion, but the cigarette smell was entirely too intense to be fake.
When I crept closer, I saw that Edward had a flashlight with him. I could make out the outline of his form leaning against the tree. His head was tilted back, looking up the branches that I so loved to climb.
My mouth dropped open, and my breath left me in a huff. What was he doing here? How did he get here?
What was he doing under my tree?
I couldn't bring myself to move. It was so fascinating to watch.
He slowly brought the cigarette to his mouth. He took in a deep breath, and then I saw the smoke mix in with the steam of his breath. His skin was very pale with the flashlight. As if to give me a better view, clouds moved and the moonlight shone done on him.
I panicked and went to hide the closest tree.
A twig snapped, and Edward jumped up and looked around.
I bit my lip anxiously.
Spooked, Edward started gathering up his things. I wanted to tell him to stop, to stay, but I was too scared. He put all his stuff in a small sack, put it on his back, walked over to the fence and hopped over it.
That was when I couldn't see him anymore, though I moved out from behind the tree.
He was gone.
I ran back to the house, feeling exhilarated. It was like my dream called him, and he appeared. The orchard had to be a magic place.
I quietly opened the door. When it creaked I stopped short, my heart pounding wildly from the run and the anticipation of being caught. When nothing happened, I kicked off my shoes and raced up the stairs on my tip toes.
I jumped on my bed and cuddled up with my pillow.
I would definitely have to check the tree tomorrow.
Guys, I also have a playlist for this story. If you want to see it, PM or review me and tell me. I will gladly give it to you.
Check out my new Vamp/AU story Pretentious Contentment & Loving Incivility. It's a collab between me and eternally knight (formerly known as Vampire Domination and author of The Matchmaker. Go check it out! She just updated her story!)