A/N – so yet again I present to you another chapter. In one particular review I got it was mentioned that my Snape was too nice and Harry too scared and such. I have meant to point out that this is an AU fic and definitely characters are just not going to fit in with canon. So if you are holding out for that I apologise but it ain't going to happen. So I apologise to the reader of this particular review who held out for this before abandoning it and informing me of my lapse. Sorry! Enjoy. ~silvermoonfae
Disclaimer – I do not own anything remotely related to the fantastic world of J.K Rowling!
Reassurances and Emotions
The next morning, Harry awoke groggily after a restless sleep and was slightly confused. It took a few moments for his brain to warm up and get geared up for the day and then another few moments before last nights events rushed back into focus. 'Ah! Snape, daughter, Clíona!' Yes, it all came back to him now. Sadly, however, their poignant reunion also came to the forefront of his mind, something he never had and never would experience. A slight frown creased his forehead as he remembered Snape's previous assurances to help him. What would happen now? Would he have time for him now his daughter was back on the scene? Would he be chucked out? A freak? A burden? These worries flitted in and out of his confused and soggy brain (still having not woken up properly) as he proceeded with his morning necessities. Numerous different scenarios played out in his mind, none of them boding well for him.
Harry being the abused and neglected child he was needed constant reassurance and time alone with his grumpy, paranoid brain at this hour of the morning was not helping him in any way, shape or form. He worked himself into such a fluster he never noticed the small cracks developing in the walls, like a creeping vine, as his magic responded to his emotions. The air became heavy and tense and the natural sunlight dimmed, bringing the room into a monochrome darkness. Small, almost unnoticeable ice crystals began to form on the ceiling and the window sills. He threw himself back on top of the bed to calm down, taking deep breaths, inhaling the smell of his bed covers.
Again, he failed to observe his surroundings and didn't notice Snape peeping in the door, like a dark voluminous ghost, silent and frowning at the cracks in the walls, ice and heavy atmosphere. He resolved to let Harry sort himself out, and headed to breakfast, knowing Harry would be soon after him.
After ten minutes, Harry had calmed down sufficiently, and mustering up his Gryffindor courage and Slytherin cunning, he strode purposefully and quietly to the kitchen, mask already donned. However, his mask wavered and he hesitated in the doorway at the scene before him. Snape and his daughter were obviously, also early risers and looked like a typical family enjoying their breakfast together. Again, the previous night came to the forefront of his mind and his doubts returned tenfold. He didn't wish to intrude and so quietly he tried to back out the door and sneak back into his room.
But years of spying had honed Snape's abilities of perception to perfection and Harry's own magic betrayed him, as the heavy, depressed aura that was evident in his room, followed him into the kitchen, He knew Clíona also was aware of the shift as she tensed slightly at the overwhelming depressive nature of it. He sensed Harry's hesitation and heard as he tried to sneak back out without any disturbance. Clearing his throat, as if he had just noticed the retreating boy, he called softly, "Ah Harry, you're just in time to join us for breakfast." and he gestured to the empty space across from him and beside Clíona.
Harry groaned inwardly, caught! Caught by Snape's ever present snooping abilities that also come in handy for honing in on wayward, trouble making students. Deep down he knew it was a simple matter of just joining them for breakfast. There was no ulterior motives or anything, and it wasn't like he was in trouble, was it? But he just couldn't help thinking exactly that, or about the many times he had been coaxed to the table by his relatives, before being severely punished for even thinking of eating with normal human beings. He shivered in remembrance. Hesitantly and decidedly nervous, Harry shuffled over beside Clíona, and sat on the edge of his seat, grabbing a slice of toast, muscles tense and strained and just calling out for him to flee.
Severus was worried about Harry. His demeanour screamed at him to both 'help him' and leave him be'. Harry was confused and now with Clíona's addition to the equation, it could either be a lifesaver for the boy or be a major set back for him. They seemed to get on just famously the previous night. Perhaps it was too much to hope that he was not as damaged as he previously thought from his relation's treatment of him and that he was healing well. He ran his hand through his hair wearily as he often did, when he was at a loss for an explanation.
"Harry? Harry, look at me child." he ordered softly so as not to startle him any more than he was already. Didn't work! Harry flinched and raised his frightened green eyes to Severus'. Harry didn't notice Clíona watching the proceedings sadly, a sorrowful look haunting her own eyes, but Severus did and he wondered how much she actually knew. But back to the matter at hand.
"Harry, what's the matter?" he asked gently.
"Nothing!" Harry whispered, his voice almost lost across the small distance from one side of the table to the other.
"Child, look around you. Your magic is responding to your emotions." Harry looked around with wild eye's as cracks began to form and a glass or two shattered and more ice creeped up the walls.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry sir. Really, I didn't mean it to happen. Please, you have to believe me" Harry gushed, panicked and frightened.
A small tear slipped out of the corner of Clíona's eye and she stood shakily. "I'm just going to finish me unpacking before anything else." She excused herself and hurriedly slipped off to her room.
"Hush, child. It's no matter. I just pointed it out to you to show you that indeed, there is obviously something quite the matter with you. Come on Harry, Clíona's gone. Please, I can't help you if I don't know what's wrong." he prodded.
Harry remained silent for a bit, staring at his interlocked fingers, perched precariously on the edge of his seat, head bowed. And then a small, shaky voice floated across the table to him.
"You're going to send me away now, aren't you sir?"
Silence again. But this time Snape was frozen in shock. Where had this come from?
"It's OK sir, I quite understand. I'll just go and pac -"
"No! Merlin Harry. I've no intention of sending you away, unless you're not comfortable here with me and Clíona." He almost shouted his denial of such a thing, despite his knowledge of Harry's reaction to even slightly raised voices.
And of course, Harry jumped a mile off his chair, sending it crashing across the room, and landing hard on the stone floor. Snape was up, like a shot, and around the other side of the table in the blink of an eye, helping Harry to his feet, eyeing him sadly as he instinctively pulled back before accepting his help ashamedly and guiding him to the settee in the living room before settling beside him, himself. Again, Harry scooted as far away as possible from the other presence beside him, but again it seemed like a reflex action and not intentional. Snape did nothing to close the gap, as he wanted Harry to feel as comfortable and safe as possible. He just watched carefully as he took his own deep breaths, calming himself down.
"Pray child, how did you come to such an absurd conclusion." he asked exasperatedly.
Harry fidgeted again, shuffling his feet and scratching his wrists, making them turn slightly red with irritation. Snape narrowed his eyes and honed in on Harry's hands. This wasn't good. The boy wasn't even aware of what he was doing. This was how it commonly started, innocent scratching or absently picking away at the skin in anxiety or stressful situations. Then consciously doing so and so on and so forth, moving up the scale, until they did some serious damage with their self-harm. He had seen it many times with his Snakes. How Harry managed to avoid his Snake Pit at sorting was beyond him, but he was essentially one of his lost snakes. He would have to address this particular issue soon, but first he needed to deal with the present problem of Harry's obscure and illogical reasoning.
Slowly, making sure Harry was aware of his every slow and deliberate movements, he lay a potion stained hand a top of Harry's own, effectively refraining him from doing more superficial damage. Harry seemed surprised at the damage he had done subconsciously to his wrist but dismissed it from hand. The heavy silence still pervaded the dungeon living room as Harry again declined to answer.
"Harry?" Snape compelled.
Harry peeked from beneath his scraggly fringe, which forever resided in front of his eyes. Finally his small voice rang through the living room, despite how quiet he was being.
"Well, with your daughter here now, I – I would just complicate things and get in the way. I don't want to be a burden and I fully understa -"
"Harry!" Snape interrupted softly. "Harry, child, I have no intention whatsoever to send you away. Yes my daughter is here, but that changes nothing, absolutely nothing, except perhaps the presence of another person would be residing here. I have time for both of you and I still fully intend to help you even if you're not biologically mine, I'm still your guardian for as long as you want me to be." he tried to impress upon Harry.
Harry perked up slightly upon hearing that and seeing the unashamed truth in Snape's eyes. 'Perhaps this could work.' he thought. 'He hasn't sent me away yet and he seems sincere, maybe, just maybe it would.' He still had small doubts niggling in the back of his mind, but that was to be expected.
Snape perceived the slight change in air pressure. It was lighter, happier and a content atmosphere now. Startled slightly, he saw his words begin to sink in and Harry began to believe what the potions master was telling him, finally and so, again, his magic responded to his emotions. The heavy, depressive air that was evident just moments ago had all but disappeared, leaving no trace of it ever really occurring. The cracks began to disappear, ice began to melt and the shattered glass began to repair. Even a small, warm ray of sunshine managed to light the room, which was an amazing feat in itself, considering that they were in the dungeons. Harry's power's were strong for one so young and needed to be assessed immediately to determine his strength and control over his magic. However, preparations were in order first, before they could ever even begin.
Relieved that he had finally managed to disabuse Harry of his ridiculous notions, he began planning the preparations for the upcoming assessments and knew a trip to Diagon Alley was in order. And so he continued in a lighter tone, "How about you go and get ready and we'll make a trip to Diagon Alley. I have need for some materials and you and Clíona can get your school things for this year." He quirked his lips in the usual fashion that meant he was smiling. Particularly at Harry's reaction and the happy shine that had returned to his eyes at the suggestion.
"Yes sir, thank you sir." He was almost giddy with excitement. The first real emotion he had seen from the child since he had retrieved him from his relation's 'tender loving' care, even if it was tempered a bit as he wasn't used to his emotions being discernible. It warmed him slightly. They were making progress, even if it was slow. It was still progress.
HPHPHP
After Harry had left in a much better mood than he had come in with, Snape ordered a cup of tea with a touch of a calming draft in from his personal house elf, Tizzy. Then he slumped further into the couch, allowing the soft cushions to envelop him, hoping that they would swallow him totally for just a few moments, just a few moments of nothingness where he didn't have to deal with the highly abused child. It was fraying on his nerves, he didn't know if he could deal with the pain the child was suffering. And yet he was but an observer, and Harry was still soldiering on, despite all his hardships. Merlin above, but the lad was strong. He was weary, but relieved that the incident had been prevented from escalating. To see the child like this , without his usual mask, small and hurt and vulnerable. It was just painful and wearing.
He felt a delicate, warm hand on his shoulder offering solace and comfort and surprisingly he felt much better. He looked up into the sad, liquid black eye's of his daughter, so like his own and yet not. A sorrowful smile graced her lips and she settled down comfortably nestled into her father's side.
"How is he?" she asked quietly, keeping the sombre mood that prevailed.
Snape sighed, "He's fine for now. I've managed to reassure him that his fantastical reasoning's were completely illogical and void of even a grain of truth. We shall be heading into Diagon Alley later however, so hopefully all will be forgotten in the light of other things." At her questioning look, he elaborated, "Diagon Alley is the main Wizarding shopping district."
She nodded as if she had known all along the woes of his ward. Which then reminded him of the previous night, and the knowing look in her eyes. He turned to stare directly into his child's eyes, slightly confused and wary, trying to detect any lie that may be uttered. "How much do you know?" he asked her suspiciously.
She drew in a sharp breath at his question and paled before turning away from her father's questioning gaze. There was no need to elaborate. She knew. "Everything," she whispered "and more!" She looked slightly guilty, as if she had been caught peeking.
Snape was shocked once again and slightly hurt at the first reasoning that came to his mind. "He told -"
"No!" she interrupted, "He told me nothing. Absolutely nothing. He doesn't know that I know anything and no I've never met him previously to have known, before you ask."
"Then how?" he inquired.
She drew in a deep breath. It was going to come out sooner or later, so she might as well tell him now. She turned to face him again, the honest truth shining from her eyes, the sincerity in the way she chewed her bottom lip. "Empathy. I can sense feelings, emotions, even get flashes of past emotions and such. When I first saw him, he reeked of hurt and abuse. His façade didn't fool me. I knew. I've met others before in the same situation as him and I was able to manipulate or broadcast I suppose you could say, my own emotions to make him feel comfortable around me." she finished.
Snape was once again stumped. He couldn't deal with anymore shocks pouncing upon him in his old age. Then realisation lit his face. "Ah so like you did earlier for me. That's why I felt at ease earlier when you entered the room."
She nodded. "There's more, however. I was trained young. Me ma, recognised it almost immediately. And so I learnt to recognise other sympathetic magics, compatible to my own. We innately acknowledge each other, our magic does. This doesn't happen often. In fact it is extremely rare. But it can only mean one thing. Harry is also an empath, a very strong and untrained one, which is why he also reacts to me so strongly. But Harry doesn't know it himself and possibly just presumed he was very perceptive of other's emotions. I could feel it this mornin' too. He was manipulating on a broad scale, the atmosphere around him. That's why I had to excuse myself. I tried to counter it, but he just overrode me. He was too strong and I would of broke down under the depressive environment." she choked out the last, almost reduced to tears again.
He comforted her absently, whilst reasserting to himself that he was much too old for surprises like these. However it explained a lot about this morning and how he seemed particularly in tune with others emotions. And also why he was so prone to anger and susceptible to his own emotions. A lot was falling into place with this revelation, like a puzzle finally coming together. "I suppose it makes sense. This is just another talent to add to his seemingly growing list. However, I think we should keep this under wraps, just for the moment." he cautioned.
"I agree. I've been keeping this secret for as long as I can remember now and I feel no need to change that now,"she said emphatically.
He drained the last of his cold tea and made to stand. So much was running through his brain, he was afraid it was going into overload and fry itself. "Perhaps you should go and get ready." he glanced at her, still in her green pyjama's, fluffy blue slippers on her feet, hair still tousled from bed. It was times like these she reminded him of her mother. She liked to stay in her pyjama's for as long as possible, until Severus finally managed to persuade her to get dressed. The usually prim and proper Snape just couldn't help but indulge her a bit. He softened a bit when she pouted as if it were such an undesirable idea. " A stóirín, come now." he chided playfully, using her baby Irish nickname. " Go talk to Harry for a bit when your ready. Say nothing of the empathy and I shall explain it to him tomorrow. I have a meeting with the headmaster now, and I shouldn't be long."
Impulsively, he pulled his daughter in for a quick hug when she jumped up. She squealed at the unexpected assault and giggled as he kissed her silky locks. "See ya later, da" and with that she flashed him a cheeky smile and sprinted down the hall.
Snape smiled at his daughter's antics. Definitely her mother's child. With his trademark billowing robes and scowl in place he headed off to meet the manipulative old coot.
A stóirín – my darling/my little treasure. (pronounced : Ah store – een)
HPHPHP
Snape sat in the headmaster's office, nursing yet another cup of tea and copious amounts of lemon drops, lining his pockets. The headmaster sat across from him, his own cup in hand, blue eye's twinkling knowingly.
'Damn meddling coot knows everything." he thought. He knew that as soon as he officially informed the headmaster of his daughter's return, he would have designs for her and her place in the war, the intrusive fool.
"Ah my boy. How is your dear daughter today. I'm sorry to say I must have missed her precipitous arrival" the old man began.
"Indeed headmaster, I came to inform you that my daughter has come and will be residing with me permanently and joining the school next term." he stated impassively.
"Fine, fine, there are no problems with that I assure you." he waved his hand dismissively. "And how is Harry handling this?" he seemed concerned and he should be but Severus wasn't sure there wasn't other reasons for his concern. He would just have to wait and see.
"Quite well actually, despite one particular issue which has now been resolved, there have been no other incidents." Snape intoned. The twinkle was in overdrive again with this news and he wondered why.
"Good, good. Now tell me, where is your delightful wife. Surely your daughter did not come alone?"
Instantly, Snape's demeanour sagged in upon himself and he lifted his haunted eyes to the headmaster's clear blue ones. Perhaps he wasn't as all knowing as he thought. "Unfortunately, she was killed in a death eater attack, hence the reason I now have reunited with my daughter." Snape spoke emotionlessly. He was glad to see that the twinkling dimmed immediately upon hearing such grave news and deep sorrow etched the headmaster's lined face. He liked to think he was genuinely upset for Dearbháil had touched everyone she had ever known and it was hard to let her go.
"My dear, dear boy. I'm so sorry. She was a wonderful person. A lot like Lily, in her own way. If there is anything I can do to help. Anything at all. Lemon drop? I find they ease the hearts pains and sort out all sorts of problems." he offered.
With a small resigned sigh, he accepted yet again another Lemon drop to add to his growing collection in his pocket.
"I assure you headmaster, I have mourned my dear wife. However she would not have wanted us to wallow in her death. She was full of life and wanted everyone else to live life to the fullest. Lives life for every moment, every second of every day. I'm determined to live for my daughter and Harry.." the headmasters eye's began twinkling madly at his impassioned speech, particularly when he included Harry as well as his daughter, "..and I now remember her in the prime of her life and all the good times we had together."
"That's good to hear, my boy, and I'm glad you've adopted such a mature and positive outlook on this and are not dwelling upon revenge." Snape smirked inwardly at this for he indeed planned upon revenge, but in typical Slytherin fashion, he wasn't about to reveal his plans. "Now I know you have plans for this evening, so off you pop and don't keep the children waiting." he shooed.
As Snape was ushered out in what was clearly a dismissal, his last thoughts were of Barmy old coots.
HPHPHP
Harry heard a polite knock on the door as he just lay back on his bed, intending to get a start on his homework readings, particularly in potions, now that Snape was his guardian.
"Come in," he called softly and soon after a small, blond head peeked around the edge of the door, eyes screwed firmly shut, a smile tugging at her lips.
"Are ya decent?" she asked.
Harry laughed. Somehow, even though he barely knew her for a day, she made him feel at ease, like none other's could, not even his best mates. "Well, I wouldn't have invited you in if I wasn't now, would I?"
She finally gave into her amusement and a sweet tinkling sound filled the room. "Ah yeh never now now, do ya?." And, making herself at home in his room, she plopped herself down beside Harry on the bed.
"So Harry, what's Hogwarts like?" she inquired. "I know absolutely nothing about the world I've just resigned meself to here."
Harry laughed again and Clíona felt a warm bubble of satisfaction well within here. It made her happy to see Harry so carefree. She could tell it was a rare occurrence for him to indulge in.
"Well Hogwarts, it's home for me. So you'll get a pretty one sided account. I love it here, the whole magic in the air, all the portraits, the ghosts, even the professors. And the whole hustle and bustle of life here." he declared passionately. "I really am the wrong person to tell you about it." Then he looked like an epiphany just smacked him upside down and right ways up again. His eyes widened and he let of a soft "oh". She could literally see the light bulb flash over his head. "Hang on a minute -" And he jumped of the bed and raced over to his trunk.
Old rag like clothes, broken quills, even stuff that looked like weird sweets were thrown in and out of his trunk as he searched thoroughly for something. Finally after some more rooting around, he pulled out a book and dusted it off. It looked like it had never been open before and with a triumphant smile, he presented it to Clíona.
She looked at the cover and saw 'Hogwarts : A History' embossed there in neat little gold writing. 'Well this could prove interesting,' she thought.
"My best friend, and one of the smartest witches in our year, Hermione, swears by this book. It's self updating so it should have everything you need to know in it and up to date." Harry stated proudly.
Clíona grinned as she took off some of the original packaging that the book had been wrapped in. "Looks to me like it hasn't seen the light of day in years, let alone been read regularly."
Harry smiled sheepishly, "Well that could be true. I never did read the book, particularly with Hermione able to quote the entire thing and page numbers if needed. So you can keep it for an indefinite amount of time, no interest."
"Thanks a million, Harry. I'll have it read by tonight." He raised an eyebrow in amusement at her and this time it was Clíona's turn to grin sheepishly. "I'm a bit of a bookworm meself, but the more interesting kind, not the schoolbook kind."
"Hey, you might just balance Hermione out. You'll probably get on with each other like a house on fire and I'm sure she'd only be delighted to have a girly presence instead of us two lads the whole time."
She just smiled, before they were both drawn into a discussion on, well nothing really. Harry felt great talking to someone with no expectations of him, no pushing him about his feelings or anything. Just someone he could get on with and felt comfortable with. Their conversations varied wildly from the political views to the fantastical aspects of the Wizarding world here. Both were comfortable in the other's presence and so when Snape called, they both jumped a couple of feet, so lost in their conversation they were, on what made a better pet. Their pets were getting more and more exotic and absurd by the minute, before ending with Clíona shouting, "Nah ah, a leprechaun would make a much better pet, than a flying pig, yeh plonker." Harry just roared out laughing, rolling off the bed in the process. Snape called a second time and they both decided not to push it. With a sly grin and a wink, Clíona shot up and raced out the door, a challenging "Last one there is a rotten egg!" hanging behind her.
Harry smiled a genuine smile of happiness, some of the lingering hurt having been chased away. Bit by bit he was healing, and Clíona helped immeasurably. He raced after her, knowing he wouldn't catch up at this rate, but nonetheless content and not noticing the bright, almost golden glow of happiness he left in the rooms he passed through.
OK so no cliffy but hey I needed to develop some relationships a bit more. Ooooohhh my longest chapter yet. Yippee. Please review! :)