A/N: Hi everyone :D Sorry to keep you all waiting, I'm hoping it will be worth the wait though. Reviews are what keep me going! I'd love to hear from all those who have put this fic on your alert list but haven't yet voiced your opinions, suggestions or comments!!

It was quiet on Derek's property on Bainbridge Island. The only sound to be heard was that of rain hitting the roof of his airstream trailer and then softly, gently trickling down the sides and onto the grass. It had been raining for four hours and forty-seven minutes now. And though it was now three am, Derek sat awake on a chair outside, protected from the rain by only a small, outer covering that the trailer provided, counting. He counted how long it had been raining, non-stop, continuously for. Four hours and forty-eight minutes. He couldn't sleep. Well, he had given up before even trying. He didn't want to sleep. A voice told him he needed to think, another told him to pretend. Pretend like this hadn't happened and pretend like it didn't matter. Pretend and forget. Neither options seemed enjoyable.

The rain crashed to the grass, falling down heavier and heavier. Stupid. Seattle. Rain. He usually liked it. The rain. Right now though, he didn't. He wanted to be anywhere but here. It had been a spontaneous decision. Moving here. He had barely given it any thought before he had jumped on a plane and was sitting in the Chief of Surgery's office, signing documents, at Seattle Grace Hospital. It had seemed like a good idea at the time. However, if he knew what Seattle had in store for him, he sure would have given his decision a second or third thought. He had left New York broken, shattered. Seattle was supposed to provide him with the quick escape, the ability to stitch all that he needed to mend. It wasn't going to be that easy though. Nothing ever was.

A father. He had always wanted to be one. He had always wanted a family. A big family, in fact. It was not supposed to happen this way though. He had been married. For eleven years he had been married. Married and wanting. Derek Shepherd had been married and had wanted a family for years. He was now divorced, wanting a fresh start and only now, finding out that there was a four year old, little girl on the other side of the country who shared his DNA. This was wrong. Everything was wrong. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. He didn't know what he thought or what he felt. He knew he couldn't ignore what he had just found out. Even though the thought had crossed his mind, he couldn't pretend like nothing was different. He wasn't like that. Everything was different.

Katie. He had seen her for only a minute and yet, he could recall every single detail he had noticed about her. Her hair, her eyes. The features her and Meredith shared. Those that resembled his. He had a new respect for Meredith. How she had managed to juggle her career and raising a child alone, he didn't know. It seemed like she managed though. He wondered who knew. Who knew that he was the father to Doctor Meredith Grey's child? Initially, he figured that no one at the hospital knew. They hadn't shown any signs that they knew, or said anything to him. But what did he know? He had been working with Meredith and she hadn't said anything until today. And only after he had accidentally run into Meredith and Katie. He wondered if she would have told him if he hadn't. He wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer.

Derek had barely known her two weeks and he had already thought he had her all figured out. He had made his attempt to flirt with her, get her to date him and she had refused. He had figured her reasons had been strictly that of a professional manner, nothing else. Perhaps they were, he was her boss after all. He hadn't ever thought for a second that anything like this would in fact be the actual reason. The thought had never crossed his mind. Why would it? They had spent one night together five years ago, he had never even thought about what could have happened. When he had seen Meredith on his first day at work in Seattle, he had been surprised. Shocked. But still, it had been an exciting surprise. And even though he had barely spent any real time with her, he had a feeling about her. She was something different. Special. Someone he wanted to get to know and so his attempt to get her to date him had then began.

Meredith had basically let him off the hook. He could walk away, without any responsibility. Meredith had made it clear that she didn't expect him to want or feel the need to have any part in Katie's or her own life. It wasn't that simple for him. He couldn't walk away. He just couldn't. He would find it impossible not to wonder what could have happened. And he certainly knew he couldn't ignore the situation. He couldn't ignore Meredith and every time he saw her, he was sure he would be reminded of Katie, making it impossible to ignore her too. The main thing was though, he didn't want to ignore the situation. He wanted to be able to see Meredith around the hospital and smile, have a civilized, normal conversation with her and he didn't want to wonder what could have happened when it came to Meredith and Katie. There would be no ignoring or avoidance. He didn't exactly know what he wanted, or what he was going to do, but he knew those two things.

It was a start at least.

Ice skating. That was all Katie wanted to talk about since Meredith had arrived home that previous evening. How much she wanted to go ice skating. How everyone had been ice skating except her. How she had taken up the dream of becoming a professional ice skater. Meredith had eagerly engaged herself in their conversation over dinner. Spaghetti, one of the few meals she had learned to make over the years. Cooking wasn't her thing. It had never been, no matter how much she tried. Usually, she ordered take-out. Tonight though, cooking seemed like a better idea. She was using every thing she could think of as a distraction. A distraction from her conversation with Derek earlier today.

After putting Katie to bed, Meredith felt exhausted. Her day had been exhausting. She sat in the living room. The television was on though she paid no attention to what was on. She sat there. Thinking. Wondering. She had told Derek and he had known even before the words had left her lips. She had spent the last five years telling herself that it didn't matter if Katie grew up without her dad, as long as she had a mother who loved her more than anything. Meredith had hated her childhood, her father having abandoned her and her mother barely ever there. Of course, she didn't want that for her own daughter. And now that Derek was working with her, now that he was somehow, impossibly, in her life, it made her question everything she had been telling herself.

Eventually, she made her way to bed and fell asleep, letting her tired state overcome her.

Meredith's eyes glanced over the OR board. She couldn't see Derek's name up on the board anywhere, which gave her no help in discovering where it was she needed to avoid today.

"Anything good up there?" She heard her friends voice from beside her.

"Oh, ah... no," Meredith said quickly.

Cristina looked at her, watching Meredith scan the board again.

"What is up with you? Seriously, Mere?"

"What?" Meredith quickly averted her eyes from the board and focused her attention on Cristina. "Nothing. There is nothing wrong."

"There so is," Cristina's eyes narrowed in on her.

Meredith hesitated, weighing up her options. Tell. Don't tell. Cristina knew that Meredith hadn't known Katie's father for longer than one night. But now she did. Now they both knew him. Now he was probably down in OR three, cutting into somebodies brain and saving their life.

"Doctor Shepherd..." Meredith's voice trailed off. Tell.

"I knew it!" Cristina cut her off. "Ever since he started here you've been acting all weird. What did you do? Don't tell me you slept with him? You did, didn't you? Is he good? I mean, he looks like he would be good?"

So. Many. Questions.

Cristina was speaking far too loudly for Meredith's liking and she quickly hushed her.

"No, no. It isn't that. When... when do you think I would have time to sleep with him anyway?" Meredith retaliated.

Cristina stood there trying to examine her friends expression. She was obviously hiding something. And whatever it was, had Meredith in a way that she hadn't ever seen her before.

Suddenly, both their pages were beeping and they were pulling them from their hips. A trauma had just come in and the two immediately rushed down the corridor.

"Derek's sick." Meredith sunk into an empty seat opposite Cristina, who was eating lunch outside.

Meredith had overheard a second year resident complaining that he couldn't get Doctor Shepherd as a Neuro consult and she'd instantly cringed at the news. Great, just great. He was either so disturbed by what she had told him yesterday and couldn't even bare to see her or she had actually made him physically sick. They were both possibilities she didn't want to be the reality. Both possibilities she was sure could be totally, one hundred percent true.

"First name basis, are we?" Cristina smirked.

"Whatever." Meredith really couldn't deal with teasing of any type right now.

Meredith had honestly let herself feel the slightest bit of hope about the situation. She had actually let the thought that Derek might want to see Katie or at least her again, pass through her mind and now she felt stupid. She was stupid for letting herself believe that. Seriously. Just plain stupid.

"Meredith, whatever it is, just spit it out," her friend urged. "It's bothering me watching you sitting over there all depressed and worried."

"It's about Katie," Meredith managed to say quietly.

"Is she alright?" Cristina immediately asked, concern clearly evident in her voice.

"Yeah, she's fine. She's good." Meredith didn't know how to tell her best friend that Derek Shepherd was the father of her child, she really didn't have any idea.

"If I tell you this, you have to promise me you won't say anything. Or repeat any of what I say to anyone, okay?" Meredith's voice shook.

Cristina noticed how worried Meredith was now and she assured her that she wasn't going to tell anyone.

"It's about Katie's dad..." Her voice trailed off.

Cristina waited for her to continue.

"You see... I sort of met Derek, I mean Doctor Shepherd, a really long time ago-"

"Oh my god, Meredith." Cristina already knew where this was going.

"I didn't know who he was and then I never saw him again till he started here."

Meredith attempted to wait for Cristina to answer but she found the silence just too painful.

"Say something!"

"I- ah.... Does he know?" Cristina eventually manged. It certainly wasn't a lot of the time Cristina found herself lost for words, right now though, she did not know what to say.

"I told him yesterday and now he's sick. I made him sick..." Meredith sunk into her chair.

"He probably just needs to think, I mean... if I was him and found out a one-night stand from five years ago, who I now work with, was raising my kid, I'd sure need some time to think. I'd need to do a whole lot more than think, actually. I'd probably-"

"Not helping!" Meredith quickly said.

They both fell into silence.

"Look Mere, I don't know what to tell you," Cristina started. "But I'm here for you."

Those few words of comfort made Meredith somehow, feel a little bit better.

"I know."

"And you know-" Cristina's words were interrupted once again by her pager. "Damn it."

"I'm sure he probably is just taking a little time to think," Cristina said standing up. "Sorry but I have to go. I'll talk to you later though..."

Meredith didn't even look up.

"Meredith..." Her gaze finally rose. "It will be okay, okay?"

Meredith made a weak attempt at answering as Cristina headed back inside the hospital.

She'd told him. She'd even hoped and now he was sick. Sick and avoiding her, Meredith was sure.

A/N: I'm not really sure what I think of this one. It's more just a loop chapter, for things that are to come :]