A/N: I feel absolutely terrible for leaving you all hanging like this and I am totally sure that having left this story for basically half a year will mean I have lost all my readers and reviewers. These past months have been hectic for me. I ended up in hospital, was out of the country for two months and moved houses. I know, I know, I shouldn't make excuses. But I do hope that maybe some of my original readers will still be interested and perhaps this chapter will interest a few more. Anyway, I am so sorry. I will definitely try a lot harder to update this fic more regularly!
Meredith used to dream about it, having a conventional family for Katie. A mom and dad, both there to watch her grow up. She'd have day dreams when she had been pregnant, wishing things could be different. There had been this one fantasy in particular that played out in her head; she'd be in the living room, a baby snuggled in her arms and then he'd walk in. Just a man, a figure she'd conjured in her own imagination and he'd kiss her and it was perfect. She'd shrug it off when she came back to reality, blame it on the hormones. She could do this without anyone. She could. By that stage of her pregnancy, the actual details of her baby's father were sketchy. It wasn't until Katie was born that every feature of Derek's face had been recalled back into her brain and she thought maybe, maybe some day something would change.
Every day had seemed to wear at that hope and Meredith had believed she was okay with it. That was, until now. Now she couldn't help but wonder. Though she had told Derek he didn't need to feel obligated, that he didn't need to feel as though he needed to be in their lives, she felt butterflies in her stomach every time she let herself think that maybe he wanted to be. She repeatedly told herself she was foolish for letting herself entertain such ideas. Who was she kidding? Things like that didn't happen. Not to her at least. And every time she had thought about the previous day, about Derek skipping out on work, she was only reminded of just how stupid she was for thinking things were going to change.
There were several things running through Meredith Grey's head as she made her way into work the next morning, each and every thought revolving around Derek, Katie and the last few days. Meredith pulled her hair back, tying it into a messy ponytail as she walked through the hospital corridors and onto the elevator. Her hands dug deep into her pockets and she lent against the back wall, once she had clicked the numbered button. For a moment she let herself shut her eyes and breathe. Whatever was going to happen was going to happen. She couldn't change anything. Derek knew and it was up to him to decide what was to come next. If he wanted to get to know Katie, then they could work something out. If he wanted nothing to do with her, then things could just go back to normal. She'd attempt to forget about it, and she'd never mention it again.
Either way would be fine. Whatever happened would be okay. It would be-
'Crap,' Meredith instantly thought as the silver doors opened.
"Meredith," Derek voiced, unable to hide the hint of surprise in his voice.
They both had known they were going to run into each other sooner or later, they'd both just had their hopes set on the later.
"Derek," Meredith stood up straight.
The doors shut, leaving them both alone in this tiny space. Neither of them said anything for a few moments, standing next to each other in a state of silence.
"I'm glad I ran into you, actually," Derek said, turning his head to Meredith.
Meredith looked at him, her mouth half open as if she were going to say something. Unfortunately, she wasn't sure what to say.
"I know this isn't a good time to talk, but I would really like to later. If you could make time," Derek explained calmly.
"Yeah, I ah... I could make time," Meredith nodded her head. "I get off at four." She made sure she started her day early so she could get home as early as possible.
"Coffee?" The doors opened and Derek took a few steps away.
"Coffee?" She repeated. He gave her no time to think about an answer.
"Coffee at four, I'll meet you in the lobby," he answered, with a small smile imprinted on his lips.
"Okay," was all Meredith could say, before he had begun his descent down the corridor and she was left to ride the next two flights alone.
That had gone well, Meredith assured herself. He had seemed well and calm and nothing at all like she was feeling right now. He wanted to meet with her, meet with her for coffee and talking. Talking and coffee. That was good, right? Right. This would be fine.
The next nine and a half hours went by far quicker than expected. Derek had been pulled into two emergency surgeries and had ultimately, saved two lives. He was in a good mood. Unfortunately though, that good mood was tested when he looked at his watch. It was four fifteen and he was still in his scrubs. Quickly, he changed and made his way down to the lobby.
His eyes glanced over the room. It wasn't crowded but it certainly wasn't empty. His eyes landed on a figure sitting on a chair on the far side of the room, hair falling over Meredith's face as she did something on her phone. Derek made his way over to her, feeling unsettlingly nervous. This was important. A heck of an important cup of coffee.
"Sorry, I got caught up in surgery," Derek apologized when he had reached her.
Meredith lifted her head from the small screen, and put it into her handbag.
"Don't worry about it, I understand," she said standing up.
Derek looked at her. Dressed in a tight pair of black pants and a denim jacket, she looked beautiful. Beautiful and nervous.
"There's a cafe just down the road," Meredith said quickly, increasingly aware of Derek's eyes on her.
"Oh, okay. Great," he cleared his throat and turned, Meredith walking next to him.
It had taken barely five minutes for the two to reach the store. It flowed with people, chatting and cherishing their afternoon cups of coffee. They found a table outside, both appreciatively aware of the nice weather. They both ordered their drinks, Meredith nervously picking at her sleeves. Derek watched her, there was no use dragging this out. He could tell how nervous Meredith was. She probably was sitting in a complete state of painful wonderment and he didn't want to make her feel any more uncomfortable than she probably already was.
"I've been thinking," Derek started.
Meredith lifted her head, her eyes meeting the deep pools of blue that were his. She let him continue.
"I know you said that nothing has to change, but to tell you the truth, there is no way I can just ignore what you told me. I don't want to ignore what you told me." He'd imagined that when he was to say this, it would be hard and honestly, it was. It felt good, though and that made him smile just a little bit.
"You don't?" Meredith had shock written all over face.
"I don't," Derek smiled.
Meredith sat there, trying to process exactly what this was that he was saying.
"Okay," she eventually answered, after what felt like an eternity to Derek.
What did this mean? Meredith didn't know.
"So, I have a proposition to make. I want to see Katie, spend some time with her. Hopefully, get to know her," he explained. "And you. I want to get to know you, too."
Derek could tell Meredith was completely overwhelmed and after waiting for her to say something, he quickly gave up.
"That is if you'll let me?" he asked. Meredith could hear it, a layer of uncertainty in his voice. Of course she would let him. He was Katie's father and if he wanted to see her, then she felt like she couldn't deny him of that basic privilege.
Meredith nodded, the corners of her lips tugged up ever so slightly. "Of course," Meredith answered. She didn't know what to feel. Or think for that matter. In this exact moment, she wasn't even sure if she could remember to breathe properly. This was... It was unbelievable and she truly didn't know how to react.
"Ah, um... What do you want me to tell her?" Meredith suddenly wondered.
"That's up to you." Derek had put a lot of thought into this and he didn't want to push Meredith at all. She could treat this situation however she wanted to.
"I could just tell her that you're my friend or something," Meredith thought out loud.
"That'd work." Derek was in about as much shock as Meredith. Despite having fully thought out everything he wanted to say and eventually happen, it was strange to hear him actually voicing it. Actually wanting it.
"Well, okay. I... I don't know what to say," Meredith's eyes met the floor and she ran a hand through her hair. She'd taken it out before she had met with Derek. Letting her hair hang loose on her shoulders, she'd for some reason wanted to look nice for him.
"You don't have to say anything; I just wanted you to know. And-" They were interrupted by the shrill sound of Derek's beeper. Of course that had to happen, it just had to.
Derek read the screen and sighed, "I am so sorry, Meredith," he said.
"No, it's okay. Go, I understand," Meredith answered with a small nod of her head.
Derek looked at her apologetically and then opened his wallet, putting some money on the table.
"I'll talk to you later." And with that, he left her.
Meredith sat there, in a complete state of sated shock. She couldn't move, she could barely breathe. She just sat there, letting the coffee in front of her go cold.
Derek felt indescribable. He had spent the entirety of the previous day thinking. Weighing out all the options and in the end had come to one conclusion; Katie was his daughter. No matter what he chose to do, she would always be biologically connected to him. He wouldn't forget it and if he chose the impossible task of ignoring it, then he knew he would be forever plagued with the question of 'what if?'
He couldn't live with that. If he did that, he couldn't live with himself. He was Katie's father and that was never going to change. And though it scared the hell out of him and this was never how he imagined it to be, he wanted to act like one. He wanted to be a father and now, Meredith was giving him the opportunity to be. There was no way he would be able to work with Meredith if he decided to turn his back against Katie and her life. Meredith didn't deserve that. She was sweet and caring, that much was evident and he wanted to be there for her or at least see where his relationship with them both would go.