Title: Bend and Not Break
Author: DockRock06
Rating: M
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.
Spoilers: Season 12's 'If not now'
Content Warning: Adult themes i.e. Rape, but not graphic, it is just mentioned as you will probably have guessed….I mean did you not read the last story?
Summery: What if Ray wasn't really as fine as he is letting on? Will his friends be able to help him in time?
Sorry for not updating in ages, but I had a little thing called writers block and we all know that it is hell….all I wanted to do was write my story!
CHAPTER 3: Straightjacket Feeling
Try this on straightjacket feeling
So maybe I won't be alone
Take back now my life you're stealing
Yesterday was over today
'Straightjacket Feeling' All American Rejects
After finishing off her breakfast Neela looked and her watch and noticed that it was just after eleven and thought that maybe now was the time to wake Ray so that the whole day wouldn't be wasted. When they were eating breakfast Brett had mentioned that he wasn't able to stay for much longer than two weeks and so he was hoping that he and Ray could go and hang out just like the 'good ole days'.
Putting her plate in the sink Neela poured out a cup of coffee and began to make her way towards her room. Pushing the door open Neela walked over beside the bed and began to blow on the steam rising from the coffee, causing the scent to drift towards Ray and she couldn't help but laugh as she watched him slowly open his eyes as he sleepily said,
'Coffee?'
Neela just simply nodded and watched as Ray sat up in bed and ran a hand through his brown hair as he looked at her with his bright green eyes. Swinging his legs over the end of the bed Ray stood up and picked up the cup of coffee, smiling at Neela as he made his way into the living room.
'So you finally decided to get up? Here I was getting worried that I was gonna be here for two weeks and just get to look at your lazy ass lying in bed.' Brett chided Ray and he walked over and sat beside him on the sofa, pushing him in the arm.
'I think that I should be the one worried if I woke up and you were watching me in bed' Ray said with a smirk as he took a sip of his coffee, feeling the rush of the caffeine flow through his veins.
'Well I'll just leave you two boys alone while I go get showered then' said Neela, stopping to give Ray a kiss on the check before making her way into the bathroom, all of her towels and clean clothes bundled in her arms.
'God, you call each other 'sweetie' and 'sugar pie' don't you?' Asked Brett, a look of mock disgust covering his face.
Ray just rolled his eyes, a small smile on his face as he thought about him and Neela, and how they were finally together after so long. The smile quickly faded however whenever he remembered the events that had led up to them becoming as close as they are now.
Brett noticed the change in Rays face and said,
'What's the matter?' Asked a concerned Brett, hoping that Ray would just tell him.
'What…nothing I just remembered that I forgot to do something' lied Ray, not really wanting to get into anything with Brett at that moment. Well, he didn't really know if he wanted to tell Brett at all. Even though they were close, he just didn't think he could talk about it. No matter how many people were going to tell him that talking helped, he knew that it wasn't going to change his mind, he just needed to deal with this in his own way.
Brett didn't believe Ray for one second, but he wasn't going to start on Ray now, he would try and coax whatever this thing was out of him later. For now he just wanted to spend some time hanging out with Ray like they used to.
'Playstation?' and with that one word, Ray pulled his famous lop-sided smile as he turned to Brett and said, in a faux posh voice,
'Of course'
Twenty minutes later Neela walked out of the bathroom, wearing a pair of jeans and a cream jumper, her hair down and still slightly damp. She couldn't help the smile that spread over her face as she watched Brett and Ray on the sofa, pushing each other so as they could try and beat the other one at whatever game it was they were playing.
She was glad that Brett had came, because she hadn't seen Ray laughing like that in a few weeks, and she just hoped that maybe things were beginning to look up.
Walking over behind Ray, Neela put her hand lightly on his shoulder as she said,
'Showers empty, so you can go in when you're finished'
Ray opened his mouth to answer, but was cut off by Brett,
'Sure thing Doctor Neela'
And Neela couldn't stop herself from rolling her eyes; Brett could be so stupid some times.
'I was talking to Ray, Brett' Neela said, sounding like she was talking to a child, and sometimes if she was honest, she felt like she was.
'You want me and Barnett scrubbing up together. I mean boyfriends a good looking guy but I don't bat for that team' Brett laughed as he saw the look of disgust that crossed both Ray and Neelas faces.
'I think I'll go now, no telling what Brett will do if you leave me alone with him now' Ray joked as he threw done the control and made his way into the bedroom to grab some clean clothes before making his way into the bathroom.
As Ray stepped inside, he flipped the lock on the door and made his way over to the sink. He ran his hand over his face, noticing the five O' clock shadow that had begun to grow, and turned on the tap of the sink, filling it with warm water and squirted the shaving cream into his hands and then onto his face.
After shaving, Ray turned to the shower and turned the water on full blast. Stripping out of his clothes Ray stepped in and felt the hot water pounding over him, and he just stood there and let it, feeling as if he couldn't do much else.
The past few weeks had been rough, well rough wasn't really the ideal word to describe what Ray had been through. Maybe hell was more fitting. And even though the night before Neela had promised Ray that she and the others would stand by his side, and help him, he couldn't shake the feeling that he was alone in all of this, that no one could possibly understand what he had been through and how he was feeling.
After rinsing off Ray stepped out of the shower and wrapped the towel around his waist, and as he did so the now healing cut on his hip caught his eye. He had done it to try and rid himself of some of the stress, to try and grant himself some sort of semblance of control in his own life. But now that Neela knew that he had done it, he knew that he would have to try and find some other way to try and get that feeling back.
Looking at his reflection in the mirror, Ray noticed that through his skin, his ribs were a lot more visible than they had been before this incident had started out. The truth was he couldn't eat, it wasn't that he didn't want to, that he was trying to hurt himself, but all day images kept rerunning in his head, making him feel disgusting and sick. Sighing Ray began to dry himself and no later than ten minutes had passed and he was pulling on the pair of jeans that he had brought in. Grabbing the t-shirt Ray pulled that over his head too, noticing that his ribs still had a faint ache whenever he strained them, or moved a certain way.
Opening the door, Ray was shocked to see that both Brett and Neela were sitting on the sofa, together, and they were actually talking. Not just bickering like they usually did. Walking up behind Neela as quietly as he could, Ray put his hand over Neelas eyes, feeling her jump, as she had apparently not heard him approaching.
'Scared ya' Ray laughed, as he slid onto the sofa beside Neela, his arm wrapped around her shoulders.
'Yeah, didn't ever know you to be quiet Barnett' joked Brett, who earned a fake shocked expression from Ray.
'So what's on the agenda today then kiddies…a day at the park, zoo? Questioned Brett, hoping that they could all get out of the apartment and do something fun together.
Neela turned her face to look at Ray, silently asking him if he wanted to go out, and her answer was in the form of Ray giving her shoulder a light squeeze and a small smile, the one that made her heart skip a beat.
'Well, I don't know about you boys, but I think that there's some sort of fair on at the Navy Pier. Maybe we could check it out?' suggested Neela as she lifted her hand to hold Rays,
'Sure, sounds good to me, Brett?'
'Whatever, just as long as you two lovebirds don't leave me alone somewhere so you can go make out' replied Brett, causing both Neela and Ray to laugh.
Standing up, and pulling Neela to his side at the same time, Ray said,
'Well, what are we waiting for?'
With that all three friends grabbed there coats, hats and gloves, preparing for whatever weather Chicago was going to throw at them and headed out the door.
As they arrived at Navy Pier, all three looked around, not knowing where to start. There were lots of rides and attractions to go to, and Neela couldn't help the butterflies in her stomach at the thought of spending the day with Ray. She knew that she couldn't really considering the outing as a date with Brett being there, but it was the first time that her and Ray had been anywhere as boyfriend and girlfriend, se couldn't help but feel a little excited. Neela was brought back to reality when she felt Ray wrap his arms around her waist from behind, and his chin resting on her shoulder.
'So where to first?' Ray asked before kissing Neela lightly on the cheek, which made Neela give a slight blush. She never was one for public displays of affection, but with Ray she was sure that she could get used to it.
'I don't really know how about we just walk about and see what there is?' Neela said before she turned and placed a kiss on Ray's lips, and took his hand in her own.
'Somewhere near a bin if you two are going to keep this up.' Brett said as he put a hand over his mouth, pretending to be sick.
That comment earned him a punch in the arm from Ray as he walked past him, still holding Neela's hand,
'If you don't' shut up you're going to end up in a bin' threatened Ray, as he then grabbed Brett by the collar and pushed him in front of him and Neela.
After going on the dodgems, the Big Wheel and a few of the games on the stalls, all of which involved throwing something, Ray, Brett and Neela where all making there way towards the exit.
'I can't believe you won this for me' said Neela as she hugged the teddy monkey to her, and give Ray a kiss on the check.
'Is that an, 'Oh my god you're so wonderful and I can't believe you won this for me' or is it an ' I didn't think you were actually smart enough to hit something with that amount of accuracy and win this' comment' Ray said with a raised eyebrow.
'The first one' laughed Neela, 'so who wants something to eat?'
Brett immediately put his hand up, causing Neela to laugh.
'Sure whatever, so where do you want to go?' Asked Ray
Neela thought about it for a moment before answering,
'Well, maybe we should just get pizza on the way home; I don't really think this big monkey would be allowed into a restaurant' Neela said as she gave the monkey a slight shake to emphasize her point.
'Neela, that's no way to talk about Brett' Ray joked as he dodged a slap on the back of the head from Brett.
Walking through the door, Ray set the pizza on the table and pulled three beers out of the fridge, walking over to the couch where Brett had lifted the pizza to, and sat down.
Neela sat down beside Ray and kicked off her shoes, the two men then following suit. The three ate while making small talk about the day. After finishing a slice of pizza Ray drank his beer.
Ray let Brett and Neela's voices fade away as he thought about the day that he had just spent with Neela. He had loved every second of it, getting to walk around and hold her hand, not having to just wish that he was allowed to kiss her. Ray knew that if he didn't have Neela then he would never be able to make it through.
After finish their pizza Neela turned and looked at Ray who seemed to be in a daze, and she lightly touched the back of his hand, drawing him out of it.
'Hey, you ready for bed?' Asked Neela as she tired to suppress a yawn, but to no avail.
'Yeah, and I can tell you are' Ray joked as he stood up and said goodnight to Brett.
Walking into their room, their room, Neela thought with a smile on her face, Neela walked over and grabbed her pajamas from her dresser, and she couldn't help but watch as Ray stripped down to his boxers and socks, something which Neela thought was cute, a little quirk of Rays, and he slid under the covers, sleepily telling Neela not to be too long or else he just might go to sleep without her.
Coming back from the bathroom after getting changed Neela walked into the bedroom, and over to the bed, hoping that Ray was still awake. As she looked at him with his eyes closed she couldn't help the fact that she was a little disappointed that they couldn't even cuddle for a while before they went to sleep.
Slipping under the covers as well, Neela reached to turn of the lamp when she heard Ray say,
'I thought I said quickly' and she turned and looked at him, his eyes still shut but a goofy grin on his face.
Opening his eyes, Ray pulled Neela to him, his arm wrapped around her waist as he spooned up behind her. With his chin resting on her shoulder, Ray said in a soft voice,
'You know that I love you'
Neela felt her heart skip a beat at Rays admission of love, and she turned to face him, cupping his face in her hands as she said,
'I love you too'
Well there you have it Chapter 3! I'm sorry for the long delay but I hope that this chapter isn't a disappointment. Please review and let me know what you think!