AN: One more after this, and then an epilogue
Lately I'd been thinking about my life in terms of three periods: Baby Quinn, Old Quinn, and New Quinn. Baby Quinn was me all the way up to Jr. High. She was a little kid who believed that everything her parents said was gospel. She was naïve and innocent. She never thought to question authority, or the status quo. She knew that she had friends, and she knew that Rachel Berry didn't. Her parents told her that it was because Rachel's dads were Jewish and GAY and that they were going to hell. Baby Quinn never once wondered why her mom and dad wanted the Berrys to suffer; She just assumed that mommy and daddy were right, because mommy and daddy were always right, and that was just the way it was. Baby Quinn longed to grow up to be just like her big sister Kelly: Smart, pretty, and popular. She thought that all the boys in school had cooties, except for Finn Hudson, because he just seemed too nice to ever be afflicted with such a condition.
I was Old Quinn all the way from about seventh grade to sophomore year of high school. She was almost exactly like Baby Quinn, believing that her parents were perfect. But by then, she had realized that she wasn't, and that she had to do anything in her power to keep that from the rest of the world. If she hid all the bad things, they didn't exist. Old Quinn threw all of her energy into becoming the head Cheerio, looking perfect every day, keeping her grades up (but not high enough to be considered a dork), and keeping everyone else down to prove to them that she was better. Old Quinn was terrified that someone would figure out one day how hard she had to work to maintain that façade. Old Quinn didn't even admit to herself how unhappy she was.
Old Quinn was so terrified of disappointing anyone that she kept herself awake at night worrying that she wasn't good enough for Mom and Dad.
The truth was, Old Quinn really wanted to sleep with Finn, she really did. Not that she ever, in a million years, would have let him or anyone else know that. She couldn't, because then he'd know that she wasn't as wholesome and innocent as she pretended to be. The truth was, she didn't care as much what Puck thought of her. That's why she slept with him instead. She slipped up once, got a little drunk, and ended up pregnant.
Somehow, during those nine months of hell, Old Quinn developed in to New Quinn New Quinn knew that almost nobody liked Old Quinn. She finally found out who she really was, what she really loved, and who her real friends were. To the outside world, New Quinn probably seemed like a ruined life: a pregnant teenager whose family would just as soon pretend that she didn't exist. New Quinn constantly regretted hurting her boyfriend, but deep down, she knew everything was going to be okay. New Quinn was lonely, but she was also empowered. The truth is, when you let everybody in your life down, you can stop worrying about disappointing them. In a way, the worst was over. She honestly liked not having to worry about what people thought of her anymore.
Lately, I found that I liked being New Quinn, and for the first time, I felt really in control of my life.
At the moment, though, being New Quinn sucked, because New Quinn was doubled over in pain. I seriously felt like I was being stabbed in the gut. Once I realized that the pain wasn't just indigestion, I staggered over to the phone. Wiping the tears out of my eyes, I dialed Puck's number.
"What's up, Baby Mama?"
"Puck, I think she's coming."