Well, first off a big THANK YOU! To all those who reviewed the last chapter. You were:
siddika, Henia1977, Updates-Please, EDITH78, Ocean of Ashes and last but certainly not least, butterflyswest.
I know that this story and its subject is a difficult one, so thank you to everyone who has stuck by it. I hope that I am writing it delicately and sensitively and would love to know what you think, since it is such a sensitive subject.
Well, on with chapter seven.
Chapter Seven: Easier To Run
It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone
Something has been taken
From deep inside of me
A secret I've kept locked away
No one can ever see
Wounds so deep they never show
They never go away
Like moving pictures in my head
For years and years they've played
Linkin Park – Easier to Run
'Shh, it'll be O.K Ray…it'll be O.K'
Ray heard the words Neela said, but he knew that he couldn't believe them, he knew that he couldn't let himself think that everything was going to be alright when he knew that it wasn't and that it could never, and would never be.
Closing his eyes, Ray felt his tears fall down his face, and Neela's hand running through his hair as she rocked him back and forth gently, trying to comfort him. He loved her so much, but he hated the fact that he was putting her through something that she didn't have to be going through. He wondered if she was just staying because she thought that she couldn't leave him…but he knew better than to voice these thoughts.
'Please don't phone him' Ray said after his tears had slowed and his sobs subsided, although tears still fell from his eyes, his pain reflected clearly from them, especially to Neela.
'Ray, you can't work like this…you need to talk to someone'
Neela looked down at him and waited for some sort of reaction, and when he didn't answer she placed her hand gently under his chin and lifted his face so that he was looking at her. She felt her heart break at the tear stains on his face, and the pain and hurt that was showing so clearly to her, Ray so tired and broken that he couldn't even hide his feelings anymore, his eyes open for everyone to see his soul.
'I can't…you don't understand' Ray didn't say it with an angry or aggressive tone, but instead that of a sullen and defeated one, showing his exhaustion, both mentally and physically.
Moving so that she was sitting beside Ray, and not above him, Neela took his hand in her own, her thumb rubbing across his wrist in an comforting way as she suggested,
'What about Luka, he already knows and he's your friend?' Neela thought that maybe it would be easier for Ray if he talked to someone who knew what had happened, and that way he wouldn't have to retell what had happened a few weeks ago, knowing that wound was too fresh.
Thinking about it, Ray looked up at Neela and replied in a quiet voice,
'I…O.K' He knew that he had to try and get better, for his and Neela's sake. He hated feeling this way, so broken and scared all the time. He wanted to go back to the way he used to be, carefree and fun, living life to the full.
Smiling, glad that Ray had agreed, although she knew that he was reluctant and scared, both emotions so clearly visible on his face, Neela pulled him into a loving hug, her arms embracing him as she whispered in his ear,
'You're going to get through this O.K…and I'm going to help you'
Pulling back, Neela took Rays hand in her own, the other cupping his cheek as she said,
'You look exhausted, why don't you go back to bed for a while?'
Giving Neela a small smile, Ray yawned a little before nodding his head in agreement and kissing her on the cheek before going back to the bedroom, leaving Neela to get ready for work.
After Ray had left Neela had gotten herself some breakfast, although most of it had ended up in the bin, Neela not really in the mood to eat, especially after what she and Ray had just went through. She had then went and gotten a shower and dressed, selecting a pair of black trousers and a light pink shirt. She had dried her hair and left it down, and was making her way into the bedroom to check on Ray before she left.
Opening the door, Neela let her eyes adjust to the dim light in the room, the curtains still pulled closed, causing a sea of darkness to fill the room in the early hours of the morning. Walking over to Ray, Neela gazed at him as he lay on his side, one hand tucked under his pillow, the other draped over the edge of the bed. The blanket which had been covering him had fallen off a bit, and so Neela walked over and pulled it up to his shoulders, smiling as he moved in his sleep and pulled it closer to himself.
Leaning over, Neela placed a gentle kiss on Ray's forehead, careful not to wake him. Whispering, Neela said to Ray,
'Bye baby'
She walked to the bedroom door and took one last look at him before leaving and shutting it quietly. She hated leaving him after what had happened that morning, but she knew that she had to go to work, not only so she wouldn't get in trouble, but to talk to Luka.
It was Neela's break and she had arranged to meet Luka in the lounge before he went home, his shift having ended. She had poured two cups of coffee, making a fresh pot before, not knowing which member of staff had made the batch which had been in the pot when she had came in.
She had been thinking about Ray all day, and how to approach Luka. In the end she had just ask would he come and talk to her at the end of his shift, and he had agreed immediately. Neela wandered if he knew that it had something to do with Ray, or if he was just being himself, a kind man who wanted to help his friends. She guessed both, and in reality she was right.
Sitting on the sofa in the lounge, Neela looked up when she heard the door open, and smiled when she saw that it was Luka, a smile on his face as he walked over and sat beside her as he said,
'You wanted to talk to me'
Neela handed him the cup of coffee which she had made for him, which he thanked her for as she said,
'It's about Ray'
Luka nodded his head and took a sip from the hot drink as he looked at Neela with sympathetic eyes. Setting the steaming cup on the table in front of him, Luka ask,
'How is he, I know he had a rough shift yesterday'
Neela mimicked Lukas actions and set her own cup down as she replied,
'Not that good…I was hoping you could maybe talk to him, he says he can't talk to me' Neela felt tears form in her eyes as she said that, feeling guilty at the fact that she couldn't even help her own boyfriend when he needed her the most.
Seeing this, Luka placed a comforting hand on Neela's shoulder as he said in a gentle tone,
'I'm sure he's just scared…he knows you love him'
Neela laughed an embarrassed laugh as she wiped away a few tears that had slipped from her eyes. Nodding her head in agreement, knowing that Luka was probably right, as he usually was, gave Luka a quick hug as she said,
'Thanks Luka, you don't know what a great friend you are'
Luka smiled and stood up as he said,
'When will I go over?' Luka wasn't sure if Ray knew he was coming, or if Neela wanted to be there, so he thought it would be best to make sure.
Looking at her watch quickly, Neela looked up at Luka, who was getting his coat, scarf and gloves from his locker and putting them on, looking at her and waiting to see what she was going to say,
'Well, now, if you haven't got any plans' Neela said, not wanting to impose on Luka, knowing that she had asked him to do this on short notice.
Nodding his head, Luka replied,
'No, I've no plans. I'll go now then. Bye' Luka said before he exited the lounge, leaving a slightly less worried Neela, happier in the fact that she knew that Ray had his friends looking out for him.
Ray had woke a few hours after Neela had left, and glancing at the clock he was amazed that he had been able to sleep for so long without waking up due to a nightmare or memory that was haunting his dreams.
Pushing himself up, Ray swung his legs over the end of the bed and placed his feet on the floor, before pushing himself up and making his way to the bathroom. Turning on the shower, Ray let the water run, and just as he was about to get undressed and get into the shower, more to wash away the memories than anything else, Ray heard a knock at the door.
He felt his heart quicken as his mind drifted back to a day that was so familiar, he felt his mind flash back to that awful day.
Flashback
Ray opened the door and stood in shock at who stood before him, it was James Barnett.
Ray felt his breath catch in his throat and his heart thundering against his chest as he stared at his father, frozen to the spot as he didn't know what to do.
James Barnett pushed his son out of his way and walked into the apartment, slamming the front door in the process. Turning quickly he grabbed Ray by the front of his t-shirt before he had the chance to move and slammed him up against the wall, putting his large hand around Rays throat.
Ray felt his back burning with the impact of the hit to the wall and shuddered when his father leaned in close to his ear, his grip on his throat being released but only so that James could move his hand over Rays mouth
'When I told you that you were going to pay boy, I meant it'
Flashback
Ray shook his head and reminded himself that his father wasn't there, he couldn't be. Walking over to the door, Ray looked through the peep-hole, checking who it was, and then opened the door when he saw that it was Luka.
'Hey Luka' Ray said as he moved aside and let the older man in, who smiled at him as he entered the apartment.
'So, how are you feeling?' Luka questioned as he looked at Ray. He was wearing a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt. Luka wondered if he had woken him up.
'O.K' Ray replied as he walked over to the couch, saying to Luka, 'Sit down'
Luka followed and sat down on the couch beside Ray. Taking in his appearance once more he noticed how exhausted Ray looked, rings under his eyes. He also looked thinner than he had a few weeks ago. Luka realized that maybe Neela was right in asking him to talk to Ray; he obviously was having a hard time dealing with it and didn't know what to do…and it was beginning to show on him physically as well as mentally.
Wondering how exactly to approach the subject, Luka turned his face to look at Ray as he said,
'Neela ask me to come over, she said you needed someone to talk to'
Luka waited for Ray to speak, not wanting to push him. Ray turned his head and looked at Luka with a sad smile on his face as he said,
'Yeah…but it's not that easy'
He hated the fact that he felt like he couldn't take care of things by himself. He just wished that he could run away from it all and never have to think about what had happened.
'Yeah but it helps' Luka said in an encouraging voice, hoping to get Ray to open up to him a bit more.
Looking at Luka, Ray wondered if maybe he was right. He knew that Luka had been through a lot himself, maybe nothing like him, but still he had been through his owns pains and losses in his life.
Leaning back a bit in the chair, Ray looked forward as he said,
'I don't know how though…I can't just talk about it'
Placing a comforting hand on Rays shoulder, Luka moved so that he could see Rays face as he said,
'You have to try, I know it'll be hard, but it will help'
The Flashback in this chaper is taken from the prequel to this, 'Doctor Rock' Chapter 17.
O.K, stopping it there…evil I know! But I want your opinions, should Ray talk to Luka or not? Reviews are love, and 'what the world needs now, is love, sweet love!'
So hit that little button and let me know what you think…I really need the feedback for this story, since it is such a sensitive topic.