Destroy All Munsters!
By Rob Morris

Announcer : In the year, 1969, the California Island of Santa Catalina was utilized to create a reserve. Here are imprisoned all of Earth's Munsters. In the past, they had freaked a lot of people out. But here, they roam among their own kind freely.

There is Herman

( We see Herman jumping up and down angrily )

Herman : Darn, Darn, Darn, Darn!!

Annou : The rubberized layer installed beneath the island prevents Herman from sinking through.

( Herman goes flying off, lands unharmed somewhere else, laughs hearty )

Announ : There is also Granpa Munster.

Granpa : We mix a little of this, and a little of that, and....

( His base inside a mountain goes sky-high, and he flies off too, lands by Herman )

Granpa : Sheesh! Maybe I need a little less of this, and a little more of that!

Announ : Marilyn, Eddie, and Lily care for the two pets, Spot--and Rodan.

( Just as in DAM, Rodan catches a few dolphins )

Announ : There is food in abundance.

Rodan : ( Turns and looks at camera ) I don't care what you say, pal---I'm starving.

Announ : Spot is kept back by a special automated system.

( A simple tape recording yells 'Bad Boy, Spot' , as he approaches the perimeter. )

Announ : A special, sophisticated transport is kept for emergencies.

( Of course, its the Munster Kart )

( Later On )

Granpa : Those Kilaaks must have rocks in their heads! Who would be stupid enough to eat one of their control devices?

( Herman walks into things, smashing them mainly by falling over them )

Lily : Only my goofball husband!

( Up in the sky, three energy spheres -- red, gold, and green come together )

Granpa : Boy, I haven't seen fireworks like that since Nero went on his community beautification kick!

( Of course, the energy forms into Ghidorah; Before the creature can act, it promptly falls from the sky and dies, after a shot rings out from the California coastline. )

Lily : Its just as well. What with Spot, Kitty and Rodan, we simply can't afford three more hungry mouths to feed!

( Back on the California coastline, we see a rustic hunter surveying his kill, as Ghidorah plummets )

Jed Clampett : Well, doggy! If that weren't the biggest bird I ever did see!

( In the distance, Ghidorah revives, and comes for Jed; Jethro walks up )

Jethro : Hey, Uncle Jed! I got my Double-Aught Spy Iron Hat all proper n' readdy.

Jed : You mean that fool thing actually works?

Jethro : ( Throws the hat ) Sure! What happens is, it chops a feller's head clean off, and then it comes back to me.

( As Ghidorah rises, the hat severs all three of his heads, which now have dumb looks of disbelief )

Jed : Aw, Boy! That thing ain't worth one of Granny's promises to keep off the moonshine.

Jethro : Reckon you're right, Uncle Jed. Some things jes happen only in the movies.

( The scene closes with a tri-dragon barbecue held by the Munsters; Baragon and Varan are in the background. Granpa sees them. )

Granpa : Get outta here, you crummy freeloaders!!!! No battle equals no food! Boy, the lack of values among today's Daikaiju! What is this world coming to, anyway?

Herman : Now, Granpa! Let's forget about the madness out there and just be thankful for this - Our bastion of Normalcy in a coo-coo bird world. Thank heavens there's no weirdness here! Right, Godzilla?

( Godzilla roars and Munsters closing theme music plays )