I don't own Harry Potter
I love Ron Weasley
And I'm envious of J.K. Rowling's fat mountain of cash
That's all there is to it!
Big Red Pygmy Puffs
"Muuuuuuuummy!" there was a short pause, an aggravated sigh and then:
"MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMY!"
A woman's arm shot out from under the large orange doona and groped around the bedside table, eventually locating her vine wood wand.
Hermione dragged her head up off the pillow and pointed her wand at the small baby monitor on the table.
"Rose darling, please, go back to sleep. Mummy's been in to see you three times already"
The ginger haired two year-old huffed and crossed her little arms.
"MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMY!" a roar came from the bright pink room down the hall.
Hermione threw off the doona and pulled herself angrily out of bed, glaring at her sleeping husband before storming down the hall, stopping to calm herself before entering.
She opened the door and was greeted with a wide toothy grin by her daughter, who was revelling in the triumph of getting her parents attention… again.
"What is it sweetheart" Hermione sighed, running a tired hand over her own wild hair.
"Milk" stated Rose simply.
"Ok, Ok." Hermione surrendered, bending to pick up her daughter and holding her on her hip, before making her way to the kitchen.
Rose tugged on the sleeve of the oversized Chudley Cannons t-shirt her mother wore.
"Magic milk?" Rose asked sweetly.
Hermione looked into her daughters deep blue eyes and sighed.
"Ok, come on then" Hermione carried Rose into her bedroom, placing her on the bed next to Ron as she searched for her wand which had rolled off the table.
Rose studied her father curiously. His hair was all over his face, which was half covered by the pillow he was resting on, and his mouth was wide open, emitting deep snores. Rose shakily stood up on the bed, and with an almighty heave she launched herself onto an unsuspecting Ron.
OOMPH! "Hermione wha-" Ron bolted up, startled by his rude awakening, noticing his daughter giggling hysterically on his legs.
"YOU! Oh I am so going to get you for this: laughed Ron and he gently tackled his daughter, mercilessly tickling her while she shrieked with laughter. There was silence between the two red heads, however, when Hermione's head appeared at the side of the bed, looking at both of them with a murderous glint in her eye.
"If either of you wake Hugo up, so help me Merlin" she threatened, snatching her wand up off the floor and holding a hand out to Rose.
"Come on" she motioned, and helped her off the bed, walking her to the kitchen.
Hermione picked up Rose and placed her in the beautiful wooden high chair Arthur had proudly made for them ("Just like real muggles!" he had said excitedly).
She leaned on the counter and looked at Rose
"Ok" she started, "What type of milk?"
"PINK!" shrieked Rose, who was bouncing with excitement.
Hermione shuffled to the fridge, and removed a bottle of milk. She then poured the milk into a clear sippy cup and placed it in front of Rose.
With a simple flick of her wand, Hermione had made the milk bubble, and then slowly turn a violent shade of pink. Rose grabbed the cup and drank the pink milk hungrily.
Just like her father Hermione thought, as she performed a cleaning spell on her milk covered daughter.
She lifted Rose out of the chair, and walked through the doorway, to be greeted by Ron, stifling a yawn as he kissed his girls on the cheek.
"I've just checked in on Hugo, seems ok… thank Merlin" Ron muttered sleepily.
Hugo Weasley was barely one year old; he was teething and proving to be a right nightmare. Every night, Ron and Hermione, exhausted from work, would spend hours trying in vain to get their son to sleep. The same feat was to be attempted with their jealous daughter, who much to her parents chagrin, was proving to have inherited Fred and George's flair when it came to being the centre of attention.
As Hermione tucked Rose back into her bed, Ron made his way back to their room and collapsed in an exhausted heap on the bed. Hermione soon followed, exhaling loudly as she lay down.
Ron pulled Hermione half onto him and stroked her hair, kissing her head every so often as she ran her hand up and down his bare chest.
The couple slowly started to doze off.
"Daddy!" Ron stirred slightly.
"DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDY!" Rose was bored and ready to play.
"DADDY, DADDY, DADDY, DADDY" She babbled loudly.
Hermione clenched up and grabbed the sheets in frustration, her angry grumblings buried in Ron's chest.
"DAAAAADDY!" bellowed Rose.
Hermione shot up, staring down at a fearful Ron with her arm pointing menacingly at the door.
"Go" she said.
Ron begrudgingly got up and lumbered to Roses room. He walked in to find his daughter crouched in the corner of her bed, her back to Ron.
"Rosie?" Ron asked, cautiously, slowly edging towards his daughter. Rose turned around abruptly, grinning madly at her sleep deprived father.
"What's wrong Rosie? You need to go to sleep. If you don't go to sleep then you won't be able to go to Grandma and Grandpas while mum and I are at work tomorrow." Ron said, wearily rubbing his face, still half asleep.
"Can I bring my baby to Grandmas?" asked Rose.
"Yes honey, Fluffy can come" said Ron, picking up the white toy cat and placing it next to his daughter.
"No daddy!" laughed Rose, "I have a NEW baby!" She pointed with excitement to the corner where she had previously been facing.
"Come and see him!"
Ron moved cautiously closer and closer…
Hermione was bundled up in the blankets, quite enjoying the ability to lie like a starfish across the bed without any grumbles from Ron.
She sighed, thoroughly content with the newfound silence within the Weasley household. This is almost too good to be true Thought Hermione, as she slowly fell into a slumber.
The peacefulness, however, was short lived. Hermione's eyes flew open as she heard a bellowing roar from her husband echo through the house, closely followed by the high pitched cries of their son, and then the shrieking laughter of little Rose.
Hermione got up off the bed, stony faced and furious at poor Ron. She grabbed her wand, fully intending to hex his bits off he first chance she got. She stormed down the corridor and turned into the first room, the walls decorated with an assortment of dragons and broomsticks. Baby Hugo was sitting up in his crib, looking alarmed and confused by his father's loud yells and crying.
Hermione gathered him up in her arms and rubbed his back, trying to soothe him.
"Come on darling, Mummy's here, shhhh. Oh good boy" she cooed to her son, as his crying began to subside. She picked up the blue muggle teething ring and gave it to Hugo, who began to happily chomp away.
"Ok darling, let's go and hex Daddy shall we?" she said as she kissed his fluffy brown hair.
She made her way into Roses room, stopping in the doorway when she heard her name being whimpered by a petrified Ron.
"Ok, what's going on in he- " Hermione stopped, trying not to laugh as she saw what was happening. Rose was delicately playing with a huge, hairy black spider, giggling as it ran up her arm. Ron, however, was up against the wall, looking horrified and distressed. Hermione entered the room and was spotted by Rose.
"Mummy! Put Hugo down so he can play with my baby!"
"Oh no darling" Hermione smiled and handed Hugo over to Ron, who automatically covered his son with his arms, as if the spider were to charge at any given moment. She then walked over to Rose and gathered the spider into her palm; eliciting a tiny whimper from Ron. She walked over to the window, opened it, and let the spider out, closing the window once it had gone.
"Mummy!" said Rose, clearly outraged by her mothers decision and standing with her small arms crossed over her chest, reminding Ron of a mini-Hermione but with his hair and eyes.
"He was happier outside darling" said Hermione, picking Rose up and placing her back into her bed.
"Plus you were scaring that big red Pygmy Puff standing over there" she laughed at a distressed Ron, winking at him before tucking in Rose and kissing her forehead.
"Now, are you going to sleep?"
"Yes mummy, I'm very tired" said Rose, hugging her cat.
Hermione went back to her room and collapsed once again onto the bed, while Ron put Hugo back in his crib.
He came back into the room, looking equally exhausted and lying down next to his wife.
"I should hex you, you know" said Hermione, rolling on top of Ron.
"Oh really, and why is this?" he retorted, placing his hands on her hips and craning up to kiss her neck.
"Number one, you woke Hugo. Number two and I can't believe we have to revisit this Ron, you fell for the spider trick…AGAIN!"
"It was bloody huge Mione!" blurted Ron, in between kissing her neck sloppily.
"Yes, but she gets you with the same trick nearly every week Ron, I honestly don't know where she's getting all these spiders from" thought Hermione aloud, trailing off.
Ron ran his hands up and down her sides, his kisses getting more and more heated.
"Well…at least…they're…asleep……also…I'd….love it" Ron stopped, taking a large breath.
"I'd love it if you didn't refer to me as a big red Pygmy Puff in front of my son! How can I be a proper male influence if I'm being compared to a fluffy girls pet" he huffed.
"Don't worry darling" giggled Hermione, finding her husbands insecurities most amusing.
"I'm quite sure that there's more than enough male influence on your side of the family" She feathered small kisses all over his face.
"So that means… you can be my full time Pygmy Puff!" she laughed as Ron grunted fiercely, flipping and pinning Hermione to the bed.
"Can a Pygmy Puff do this?" he grinned mischievously, reaching for his wand and muttering "Nox".
From the darkness there came a deep sigh, a moan and then…
"Muuuuuuuuummy!"
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