A/N Thanks to my beta Laurazuleta18 :D, this is Jared's POV as I wanted to explore his character a bit more. The song title credits go to Sugababes -Freak like me. My roommate Kurt was dancing to this song at 6 am in the morning, the joys.

I woke up with the same restless feeling I had been experiencing for the past two weeks. My head throbbed like it had been banged with a hammer and my whole body ached as if I had been running around for hours.

Imprinting was a bitch.

My life had been so different these past few months that the idea was still sinking in.

My first time phasing being one of the most traumatizing things that has ever happened to me, especially because it was supposed to be a part of my 'destiny' and that it was in my 'DNA' as my alpha Sam liked to put it.

But when I imprinted it was like all the pain I had been feeling washed away, like it was never there, all the doubt, sadness, anger and confusion, simply went away.

Seeing her beautiful face for the first time was something I would never forget. Her deep brown eyes filled with so much love and expression filled my heart with an unknown joy. Her beauty was something you would find on a runway or a magazine not in a small reservation.

But I had to go and mess it up by acting like the biggest dumb ass that had ceased to exist.

I was truly shocked when I found out she had been going to the same school with me for the past 5 years, surely I would have noticed someone that beautiful.

I blamed it on being too busy with my budding social life to pay attention to anything else but getting laid. But it still pained me to know I didn't even know who she was, even with the late night stalks.

She was like me minus the freak wolf gene; she was pretty poor and had a broken family.

My Grandma brought me up as my Mom and Dad where too young to have kid so they dumped me on her.

She did everything she possible could for me and in my eyes no-one was better than her until I met Kim of course.

Jared, Sam asked while he interrupted my thoughts.

What's up Alpha, it was supposed to come out in a light joking tone but it sounded like a failed laughter.

Paul Kneller has just phased, I instantly felt bad for the guy not even moody assholes like him deserved this.

I tried to find his frantic thoughts throughout my head but I could only hear my own and Sam's.

I managed to calm him down enough so he could phase back, you have been out of it for the past two hours, and Sam stated worrying over my state of mind.

Girls, My very first thought of a girl was Kim as she was the only one I could see.

Sam looked at me sympathetically before running off into the trees, I felt him zone out and I began to go through all of my jumbled thoughts again.

Did I even want an imprint? They were supposedly your other half but all I had gotten from my imprint was the cold shoulder, I mean really, what did I do in my first life to get all of this?

I was kidding myself, she could get any man she wanted and I doubted she was going to settle for someone like me.

A genetic freak of nature, which ironically had large overgrown muscles and a face that made me look like a man and not a teenage boy. I got bored of being on my own so I ran to the La Push border and phased back.

I was walking down the street with no shoes or top on in the middle of autumn, hence one of the reasons I was a freak.

"Jared," I heard someone call my name out, it was like a wind chime blowing in the distance. I turned around I was shocked to see it was Kim, she looked amazing in some cute skinny jeans and a baggy tee shirt that covered her flawless body.

"Oh hey Kim," I reminded myself to breath in and out, in and out. She eyed me warily before continuing.

"Aren't you freezing cold in just that?" she looked me up and down her eyes lingering for a short while on my chest. It sent chills down my spine even causing goose bumps to rise on my arms.

"Nah, it's caused by genes for me to run a higher temperature then everyone else," I couldn't lie to her it just didn't seem right.

"Well couldn't we all use your genes," I think she meant it sarcastically but it didn't stop me from laughing. She had made a tiny joke and I was laughing at it like it was the funniest thing I had ever heard.

I was such a looser.

Kim looked at me awkwardly and she shifted her weight from foot to foot. It hurt me knowing that I was making her feel uncomfortable, I was supposed to protect her not make her feel stupid.

While silently cursing myself I didn't notice the car that pulled up beside us bibbing crazily.

It was her sister Jo I could see her face in perfect clarity, a sign she was in pain.

"Kim come on we need to get to the hospital its Dad" She said worriedly biting her nails. A look of dread ran across Kim's beatific face causing my heart to crack a little at the sight.

She shot me a look of apology before quickly jumping to the car.

I inhaled a sharp breath through my nose my fists shaking slightly. If her dad died she would have no-one and the very thought of someone not being able to help her made me sick with anger and worry.

I could feel the wind blowing in all directions and it was starting to drizzle, I managed to get my anger under control before setting off to Sam and Emily's.

If I were to phase near Emily then I would probably kill her or be killed by Sam.

I ran at inhuman pace towards the end of the woods stopping at a tiny little home with flowers surrounding it. It was a cute little house I suppose that made you feel welcome.

I didn't even bother knocking I just walked in swinging the door a bit too hard causing it to slam against the wall.

"Damn it Jared watch it OK?" Sam said angrily looking a little pissed. It was then I saw Emily cropped up on the kitchen counter with some of her buttons un- done.

It didn't take a genius to realize what they had been doing.

"Oh I apologize did I interrupt anything?" It was nearly enough to make me forget all about my problems.

Sam growled at me while Emily suppressed a laugh. It was fun winding people up especially when you were in a pissy mood.

"Is there any food?" I asked carefully watching Sam's reaction. Emily jumped up of the counter and handed me a muffin out of the oven.

It was double blueberry muffin, my favourite. She smiled at me warmly before walking over to the sink and doing what women do at the sink.

I was caught off guard though when I smelt a vampire. The sickingly sweet scent invaded my nostrils making me heave.

Sam smelt it to as he sniffed the air; a look of disdain clouded his face.

Emily looked confused and she was probably wondering why we were getting so worked up.

"Emily do not leave this house promise me you won't," Sam pleaded frantically with her. She nodded weakly before passionately kissing him on the lips, how freaking wonderful.

We both quickly shot out the door phasing on the spot, we began to run through the forest becoming blurs to everything around us.

I could see a redheaded vampire running through the forest bouncing of trees; it would have been an elegant sight if I didn't want to kill her.

She sprinted to the edge of the mountains before throwing herself of it in a dive. I heard the splash of the water and rocks falling down. Sam smacked the ground with his paw hissing angrily.

We could have jumped in there after her but we needed air and that leech didn't.

We hastily made our way back to Sam's house where the scent of the blood sucker still lingered in the air.

I felt a sharp pang of pain run through me as if something wasn't right and I had a feeling it was something to do with Kim.

I was still in the middle of phasing back when Sam rushed into his house, I was pretty sure he ran in there nude. I could hear the 'I loves you's' and the 'are you ok' all that imprinting worry and relief coming out.

I felt jealous would I ever have that sort of connection with Kim or was I just destined to be alone? I truly hoped it was the first option as living alone was something I didn't fancy doing.

I didn't even bother going back into their house as I knew that they would probably shoot me if I interrupted their sex time.

My Grandma didn't know about me being a wolf and I was sure that I going MIA all the time was not helping her blood pressure. I wanted to tell her so badly that I had to cover my mouth.

I walked into my cosy home and found my Grandma sitting on the couch watching 'whowants to be a millionaire' she was eating some tomato soup with a cup of water next to her.

Hearing my arrival she muted the TV and walked over to me giving me a kiss on the cheek.

"And where have you been Mister?" she asked pretending to be angry. I hated lying to her as much as I hated lying to Kim, she just didn't deserve it.

"At a friend's house we were playing a few video games you know boy stuff," I said dismissively.

Her face looked relieved at my answer like she had been expecting to hear something awful like I was out doing drugs like she suspected at first.

"Well being a woman I wouldn't understand 'boy stuff,'" She gave me one last kiss on the cheek before sitting back down. I could smell fresh lasagne cooking and my mouth instantly watered.

I got a bottle of root beer out of the fridge and some cherry coke; I downed it all in less than 5 minutes.

I was about to crack open another bottle when my Grandma walked in taking it out of my hands and pouring it into a glass. She got my lasagne out and set the table up for me.

She was truly a saint sent from heaven above. I was about to dig in when my phone vibrated loudly.

Hey sorry about just leaving you like that earlier x –Kim

I smiled at the little kiss at the end before quickly texting back.

Seriously don't worry about it, how is your dad? X

I waited anxiously for her to text back as I played with my food not being able to eat it with my appetite gone. I nearly jumped when my phone went off.

He is OK he just took a bit of bad turn but he should be OK x

Good xx

I know putting two kisses was girly and pathetic and desperate but I was indeed a desperate man and if it made her soften against me then I didn't see the problem.

I dug into my dinner and in less than 5 minutes it was gone. I was still hungry and I wanted more but I hated asking my grandma for anything.

I looked over at the time and saw it was 7:30 pm and realized I only had half an hour left until patrols.

Which meant having to make up another lie just to get out of the house; I looked over at my grandma as my heart tugged slightly.

She looked so pale and worn out that her appearance took me back a little, and knowing I was adding to all the stress she felt made me feel physically sick.

I was going to have asked Sam if he could make Paul patrol, I needed to look after my grandma and keep a good eye on my phone in case Kim texted me.

I sat down next to Grandma putting a blanket over her half asleep form; I turned her slightly so she was on her back.

I kissed her on the head before creeping out of the door. It was raining heavily and there was also thunder and lightning but I was determined to seem Kim.

It didn't take me long to get to her house, the imprint pull I felt to her guided me the whole way. I could smell her peachy scent and it made my entire body tingle in pleasure.

I knocked on the door checking my breath and running a hand through my hair. Kim answered the door in a pair of tiny shorts and a tank top.

I managed to pull my eyes away from the glorious sight upon me, and to look at her angelic face either way it was just as good.

"Jared," she said surprised looking at me with joy filled eyes. The sight took my breath away and I couldn't believe the beauty she held.

"I just came to see if you were alright," I stammered over nearly every word before sighing and enjoying her reaction to me saying that.

"I am fine thanks ..." she began to say but stopped pushing the door away slightly. I felt a lump form in my throat as I caught the scent of another man. I could feel my anger rising as my imprint instincts kicked in. I barged past her and saw Colby whatever his surname was sitting on the sofa with no top on.

I could feel my muscles starting to bulge and stretch as my body prepared for the phase. He gave me a smug smile, but when he saw my face he cowered away like the little dick he was.

"Jared get out right now you can't just barge in!" Kim shouted angrily getting right up in my face. Our lips where less then inches apart and if moved slightly we could be kissing.

I could tell she was thinking the same thing as she quickly backed away.

"Just go Jared," she didn't look me in the eye as she said this, but it hurt all the same. And her wish was my command.

I left shame faced and angry wondering what they were going to do. The thought of Kim sleeping with another man made me feel so sick I actually thought I was going to throw up.

I made my way home feeling rejected; sometimes I wished I was just a normal boy with no freaky shit happening to me. Or my soul mate, my life partner not wanting anything to do with me.

Life was a bitch an evil conceited mother fucker bitch. It was also a selfish whore that couldn't let people be happy.

I jumped up to my window entering my tiny ass room with a bed I barely fitted on and clothes still on the floor.

I got into my bed and curled up like a baby, I hadn't felt this depressed in my entire life and I let it hang over me like dark cloud.

…...

I woke up the next morning feeling worse then I usually did, I was in pain all over, even my little toes were in pain. Even my heart ached; I looked over and saw it was 3 o'clock in the afternoon.

Even my natural body alarm hadn't waked me up; it proved how much agony I was actually in.

I forced myself out of bed and to the bathroom, I splashed some freezing cold water on my face but not even that could wake me up. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and saw a different face staring back at me.

I had heavy bags under my eyes and stubble that I didn't remember being there yesterday. Heartbreak was forcing me to age rapidly hopefully leading me to my death.

I sighed at my suicidal thoughts and suddenly wanted to kick myself for actually thinking like that, I always called people who commit suicide selfish. So killing myself would be hypocritical.

I went back into my room and threw myself down on my bed, I looked up at the ceiling and thought of ways to get her to Love me.

I could profess my love for her while standing on the cliff tops? Or I could tell everyone at school through the microphone.

I didn't really cared how I told her as long as I could get her to love me back.

I could discover a new drug that helps stroke patients regain full mobility after having a stroke.

She would have to love me if I did that, but I would also have to take double science so maybe I would just leave it.

I was a pathetic looser with nothing better to do but plot ways on how to make someone fall in love with me.

I kept looking over at my phone like I was half expecting Kim to walk through it, like the people in the cartoons.

So I was startled when my phone went of loudly the polyphonic ring tone hurting my sensitive ears. I looked at the caller ID, it was Kim!

"Hello," I said a little too excitedly.

"Hey," she replied her tone reserved. There was small pause before she started talking again.

"Jared I really don't get your behaviour, one minute you're like walking right past me ad not even knowing I exist, to getting all protective and jealous cause I am with a boy," she explained her voice sounding slightly breathless.

"I am so sorry I don't know what came over me I would really like for us to be friends though?" I prayed to god she would say yes.

"Friends is ... Good" Her voice sounded slightly disappointed like she was expecting more. A weird silence settled over us and neither of us knew how to break the ice.

"Well I will see you later then," she finally said, my heartbeat was faster than a speed train and I was thankful for her being on the phone.

"Ok then Bye," I waited about 13 seconds before the phone went off, I could tell she felt something towards me or she wouldn't of waited that long to end the call.

I was putting my entire woman reading magazines into practice as I remembered some of the things woman might do.

I was obviously going to have to subscribe to woman weekly if I wanted to keep up with girls like Kim.

For the first time since I imprinted I felt hope… all because of reading woman magazines it was sad and very very pathetic. But it had finally gotten me somewhere with my imprint, so I just had to wait and see.

Review! hopefully I will have the next chapter up sometime next week :D BTW Sorry for the short chapter this chapter was just a way to get Jared's feelings across. Kim or Jared's POV for the next chap?