"My yesterday's are all boxed up and neatly put away; but every now and then you come to mind" –Sheryl Crow

She felt dead when she opened her eyes. The light, bright, shinning, white, her surroundings unfamiliar to her. She felt weak, tired. Her head hurt, her eyes hurt; actually, her whole body was burning in ache. She tried to move, but her body wouldn't let her. Her head lay still on the pillow no matter how hard she tried to turn it. The ache… the pain… the burning. She remembered nothing, thought nothing, only pain… then it consumed her, and her eyes shut again bringing on the darkness…

"It's all my fault," Spot said, cupping his head in his hands and leaning forward in the chair so that his elbows rested on his knees.

"No, it's not," Jack lied in a weak attempt to comfort his friend.

Spot shook his head, and then lift his body so that his leaned back against the chair loosely, so that he looked like a rag doll.

"How so Jack? Huh? No way you can give me a good answer. I locked the girl in a room for four days! What the hell is wrong with me?" His voice rising in momentum with every word. The other people in the waiting room were staring at him out of the corners of their eyes.

Jack lowered his head into his hand in attempt to shy away from the stares that Spot was unaware of. He was steaming however, angry with himself.

"Listen Spot, you made the decision tryin' to help her. You didn't know this was gonna happen. Just let it go for a second, stop blaming yourself, and let's worry about Gem, okay?"

Spot nodded his head meekly, allowed himself to relax in the chair, tapping his foot against the ground. Jack twiddled his thumbs, trying to find a way to avoid the uneasy silence that had fallen between the two boys. Suddenly, without warning Spot sprang from his chair and turned to Jack, screaming.

"HOW COULD YOU LET ME DO THIS? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU FOR GOING ALONG WITH THIS IDEA? WERE YOU NOT LISTENING, DIDN'T YOU SEE?"

Jack looked up at Spot wide eyed in shock, then he got up grabbed Spot by the arm, and walked him out of the hospital and into the alley that lay beside it. He threw Spot against the wall and glared at him.

"You kidding me Conlon? You're gonna blame this on me? It wasn't my idea; I never even thought it was a good one. Sure she drinks, let it go. Nothing you're gonna do is ever gonna change that. Look," He yelled point at the hospital in front of him, "Look what she did to herself. You can't force her to stop Spot; you can't lock her up and pretend that when you let her out everything is going to be okay. Life doesn't work that way. Let her decide to give it up, don't make the decision for her."

When he was done his chest was heaving, and his face was red. He had never allowed himself to get that angry with Spot, not even when he almost refused to join the strike, but this was something he couldn't ignore.

Spot looked back at Jack with a clenched jaw, and Jack was ready to brace himself for a fight. But it didn't come. Spot slumped his shoulders, and leaned against the wall, and slid down to the littered ground, face in his hands. He sat there for a few seconds before speaking.

"You know that night? The night Lissy died?"

Jack nodded his head, and with anger said, "You mean the night you never talk about?"

Spot looked up at him and for a second anger splashed through his eyes.

"Cut the crap Jack, just listen."

The taller boy shook his head and sighed, "Go ahead Spot," he said conceding to his anger.

"The night, when they were in the river, I was never so scared in my life. How do you do something like that Jack? How do you just pick one and not the other, it was the hardest decision I ever had to make. I thought about just letting the two of them go together. I couldn't choose, I couldn't pick between life and death for the two of them," He paused for a second and closed his eyes. "They were screaming, but I drowned that out in my own thoughts, and when I reached in, I couldn't grab Daisy, so I let her fend for herself. Lanie was tiny, so much smaller, and… I couldn't let her go, so I pulled her out. I didn't know that Lissy was stuck until it was too late. So it is my fault that Lanie is the way she is. I made a decision, I didn't pay attention, and it is my fault."

Jack stood still for a few seconds letting everything sink in. Then he moved and fell right next to Spot on the ground.

"Listen Spot, Lanie is the way she is because she chose to be that way; not because you made the decision that you made… you never told anybody this have you?"

Spot shook his head, "I never had the nerve, I came close to telling Lanie once. I was drunk; I walked over to her apartment, but didn't have the nerve to go up. I guess the beer balls just weren't enough for me that night. But that's not what I was getting at. Since that night I feel like I am obligated to protect her, to make her safe. That's why I did it; I didn't know any other way to help her."

The pair sat in silence once again. Jack reached into his pocket and pulled out two cigarettes, and handed one to Spot. He lit them from the same match, and took a drag.

"You need to let this go, the two of you need to let it go, because no matter what happens, Lissy isn't coming back. No matter how much you sit and regret your decision, or no matter how much Gem drinks, nothing is going to change the past…"

"Isn't it my job though?"

Jack looked at Spot confused, "What?"
"It's my job, I need to protect her. Gem, she had nothing left because of me."

Jack took another drag, and exhaled while talking, "You're wrong Conlon, she has everything, you need to let her see that though. Give her a break, if she makes it through this, you need to help her let go."

Nothing was said, and the two boys smoked and sat, thinking about the situation that had been unfolding in front of them. How this really might be the end of Laine.

They heard footsteps approach the alley, and they looked towards the street. A young woman in white clothes stopped just in front of them, "Are you with Lanie Dowlson?" She asked.

The two boys stood quickly, threw there cigarettes to the ground, and Spot removed his hat from his head.

"Yes ma'am," Jack replied.

"Come with me," She said, then turned and walked back towards the hospital doors. The two boys stood in there spots for a second, looking at one another. The nurse stopped and turned towards them, with a smile she said, "Come on, no need to be afraid."

Spot took a step forward, "Is she okay?"

The nurse turned once again to face the pair, "You'll see; hurry up, the doctor wants to see you."

The two boys walked quickly to catch up with her, and the three headed back into the hospital.

A.N.- I updated quickly! Yay for me! This might be the last quick one for awhile, finals are coming up and I have to study study, study! Anyway, thanks for the reviews, keep them coming! If I get a lot, it might give me the energy to take a very welcome break from being studious and post the next chapter!