"It's Been Awhile, Since I Could Hold My Head Up High"- Staind

She waited outside on the steps, the wind blowing in the wind. It felt good. She had been held up in the hospital for almost two weeks now, and she was ready to leave.

Race and Jack sat on both sides of her, waiting patiently with her for Spot to arrive.

"You know Gem," Race began. "You can stay here with us. You don't gotta go with him."

Gem shook her head, "No, I promised. I promised that I would go with him. I have to."

Race nodded his head as he reached into his coat pocket and pulled out two cigarettes. He placed one in his own mouth and handed one off to Gem, who took it graciously and leant closer to Race so that he would light it.

She exhaled slowly, allowing it to fill her lungs. "Brooklyn," was all that kept running through her head. She had made a promise to live in Brooklyn. Not only that, just two weeks before, she was slicing her wrists over the leader of Brooklyn. She began to wonder whether or not she really was crazy.

After thinking back to that day, she looked down, noticing for the first time in the sun how good of a job she had actually done to herself. Permanent scars, she knew, a mental reminder of how stupid a stupid decision it was, one that she was lucky to have lived through, and she thanked God for Jack having his keen eye or she wouldn't be sitting here.

She looked up, and caught Jack staring at her.

"Does it hurt?" He asked, nodding his head down at her wrists.

"No, not physically anyway."

Jack looked away, taking another drag of her cigarette. "Why did you do it Gem? What made you want to do it? Is it really that bad? Are you really that lost without your sister?"

Silence answered. That was a good enough answer for Jack. He knew that when she was ready to talk she would talk, and after countless conversations with Spot over the last two weeks, he knew that she was not saying much of anything; still he figured trying wouldn't hurt.

The three sat in silence, trying to follow each of their own thoughts for awhile.

Gem thought hard about the questions Jack had asked. How foolish she felt at that moment. How embarrassed she was, that a once prominent girl like herself had deduced herself to drinking that much alcohol, and still, to this day, there are times where she wants nothing more then to feel the burning in her body as it danced her way down her throat. She said nothing though, keeping it to herself was much better. She needn't concern anybody with her problems, they needed to get back to their own lives, and stop being so concerned about her.

Almost as if being able to read her thoughts, Jack said, "He thinks you still gotta problem you know. He thinks that you still want to drink. I'd be careful over there if I were you. Make sure he ain't gonna lock you in no more rooms, okay?"

Gem stared at Jack, letting what he said sink in. She knew he was right. She could sense it whenever Spot was around, but nothing was ever said. She could tell he was holding back the question every time that they were together. He was scared; he felt that he had hurt her again. It was almost as if nothing had changed between them. Like when they were still kids, and he felt it necessary to play the big brother role and watch her at all times. She found herself wondering at times if he was the reason that she never turned out to be as rambunctious as her sister, and she knew that slowly, ever so slowly they were beginning to build that relationship back up.

In fact, the situation between them had become much better since she had been in the hospital. He had visited every other day, staying for hours at a time, and she was sure that when the other newsies walked in, news of her condition quickly got back to him. It seemed to her that things had almost returned to normal, like they were back before her sister had died although the tightness in her heart still remained. She was happier, her disposition had changed, and even Spot seemed to notice the color that had come back into her cheeks. Still something was missing.

Finally, after a few more moments, Spot turned the corner. It took a few seconds before the three of them noticed him coming, and upon seeing him they all stood. Gem reached up and ran her fingers through her hair, careful of her still tender wrists.

As he approached them, Gem could already see him with his hand against his mouth, and with in a millisecond it was held out waiting for Jack to return the favor.

"Thanks Jack…for you know… sitting with her." He sounded unsure of that however, He sounded almost disappointed that she was not alone when he had come to get her.

Jack grinned; unable to pick up on the emotion, "No problem Spot."

Race stood with his arms crossed in front of his chest, waiting for his show of respect that he should have known would never come. Finally with no avail, he allowed his arms to drop to his sides and sighed.

"I'm gonna go try to find Blink Jack, maybe he'll let me split papes with him until the afternoon edition. You wanna come."

Jack quickly shook his head yes and quickly hugged Gem goodbye. As he pulled away he whispered in her ear, "Don't let him mess with you Lanie. He means well, just don't let him take it too far."

She nodded her head in understanding, and then watched as the two boys quickly walked away. She was sure she heard Race mumbling something about Brooklyn and thinking that they are high and mighty.

She then turned her attention to Spot who was staring at her intently.

"You look good Gem." He said, his trademark smirk appearing on his face.

She only blushed and looked away; not sure of how to reply to the comment. For the first time in awhile the girlishness arose from her, she shied away from, and made no eye contact until finally he cleared his throat, making her jump a bit, having gotten lost in her own thoughts.

"You ready to go?"

She nodded his head and the pair made off for Brooklyn.

HELLO! I missed you guys! But guess what? FINALS ARE OVER! Meaning… I AM DONE WITH SCHOOL! That means I can devote more attention to this story! Anyway, sorry this is so short, but I just finished my last final today, and then I had a 6 hours ride home from school, and I am tired! Perhaps there will be another post in the next day or so. Until then review, review, review! Love Ya!