"So Take Me and Break Me and Make Me Strong Like You"- Brand New
The walk back to Brooklyn went quickly. Gem was surprised at the way the pair just seemed to talk. How the conversation seemed to just flow between them, and before she realized it they were already to the bridge. Once again, without warning, anxiety seemed to take over her body. This was only the second time that she had been here since her sister died and she once again, she wasn't sure if she was ready for old feelings to resurface. She heard Spot continue to talk to her, but his words were lost on deaf ears.
"You okay Gem?" Spot asked; staring at her with his eyebrow raised.
She shook her head quickly, quickly pulling her back through her thoughts. She stared at him for a second, trying to remember the last thing he had said, but for the life of her she couldn't. "Yea, sorry, I'm fine. What did you say?"
"I asked if you would be okay walking back to the lodging house by yourself. I want to run down by the docks to check on the boys."
"Sure go," she replied. "I'll be alright."
Spot nodded his head, and began to walk away from her before turning around, "You sure you're okay?"
Gem smiled at his being concerned, "Yes, I'm fine. Now go."
Spot smiled back at her before turning and walking away. Gem watched until his figure disappeared around a nearby corner, and she began to walk again.
It was a short walk, and she still knew the way like the back of her hand. As she approached the Lodging House, she stared wearily at the three boys that stood outside smoking cigarettes. Her eyes focused on the taller one. His face was familiar; she just couldn't place the name. Then suddenly it hit her, and she took off in a quick sprint.
"Gunther!" She yelled at the boy.
He looked up, and smiled as she jumped into his arms. He hugged her tightly.
After a few seconds, he gently pushed her off of him and held him at arms length.
"Look at you," he said, running his finger down the side of her face, stopping at her chin, and lifting it up to make eye contact with her. "Still looking beautiful.
She smiled up at him.
"Spot said you would be stopping by today. Figured I would come back here after selling and wait."
"Where's Cricket?"
Gunther shrugged, "Down at the docks. Spends a lot of his time there. He'll come back with Spot."
Silence followed.
"So, have you been inside yet?"
"Yes," Gem said. "The night Spot brought me back here from Manhattan. The night…" She paused for moment, unsure of whether to continue, not knowing how much Spot had told Gunther about the situation. Spot liked to keep things to himself, but she decided that this was too big of a secret for Spot to keep bottled up and continued on, "The night before this whole thing started".
Gunther drew in a deep breath, letting Lanie know that he knew the whole story. With a quick look her told her they would discuss it later. He reached into his pocket and pulled another cigarette out.
"I see you're still a chain smoker," Lanie giggled.
Gunther smirked at her, "Some things will never change," he said, bringing the cigarette up to his lips and taking a drag. A comfortable silence followed for only a moment or too.
Gunther pointed to the other two boys standing with him and finally introduced them, "This here's Pant, and his brother Jim. Guys, this is Gem."
The strangers spit shook and Lanie looked at Gunther with her eyebrow raised, "Jim, his nickname is Jim?"
The three boys laughed at this statement. Gunther shook his head, a broad grin spreading across his face.
"It's kind of a long story. One we'll save for later." He threw his finished cigarette onto the ground. "I wanna talk to you alone first." He nodded his head towards the front door, and then turned and walked up the front steps with a quick goodbye to the other two boys. Lanie simply waved before following.
They walked quickly through the common room, passed a quiet game of poker, and right passed Jameson, who stared at the pair from behind his desk.
"Ain't ya gonna sign in?" The man yelled with annoyance, but Gunther just kept walking, and Lanie looked back and just shrugged her shoulders. She could hear the man mumbling under his breath at them.
"No good kids… hate working…if only…" was the last thing Lanie caught before they reached the top landing, and the silence was restored.
Gunther turned around, placing a finger to his lips. "You gotta be quiet, or else the other boys will come, and wanna know what's going on. A lot has happened that has left these guys confused."
Gem said nothing, but stared at the boy with a bewildered look in her eye. She watched him reach for the nearest door, and quietly turn the knob.
They entered the room. It was tiny, with two beds, and no other furniture to decorate it.
"Why are we in the sick room?" Gem immediately asked.
"No one will look in here," was all he said before sitting on the bed farthest from the door. Gem followed suit, and before long, Gunther got into the happenings of the Brooklyn Newsboys.
"Gem, You ain't been around in awhile, and I'm not sure you really know the extent of what's been going on. I'll let you in on a little bit, but you can't let onto Spot that you know. Got it?"
Lanie nodded her head and the boy continued.
Gunther got up from the bed, and walked to the tiny window and leaned against the frame, staring out into the streets below.
"He's had a hard time since you left Gem. I've known the boy basically my whole life and I've never seen him so dead. He's been walking around like a zombie for four years, and it didn't take a genius to figure out why. Do you know what happened the night Daisy died Gem?"
The girl took a second before answering, "Only till I got pulled up on the docks. After that it's just bits and pieces. I only remembering waking up and leaving for Manhattan."
Once again, Gunther took a deep breath before continuing. "You beat Spot up pretty good. He was bruised for a good month after that. But even more then that, he saved you Gem and you just up and left on him without so much as a reason."
Gem could sense the anger growing inside the boy, his fists were clenched, and when she paused during his story she could hear him grinding his teeth.
"It took him almost two days to find out that you were in Manhattan, and when he found out you were safe, I never saw the kid more happy. Then Jack came here, told him that you didn't want to see him, and he was crushed. It was like you knocked the energy right out of him. It took him two months before he would talk to any one of us boys. It took him almost 6 before he went out to sell papers again. Each of us took turns paying for him to sleep here."
Gem stared at her friend in disbelief. There was no way that mighty Spot Conlon would allow himself to get that down about a girl. Questions began to fill her mind, "But how come nobody ever came over to tell me? How come you never came to visit?"
"We were all angry with you," he paused. "Well that and we weren't sure if you would want to talk to us at all. You completely shut us out. You were here every day for four years and then you were gone. You'd beat the shit out of our leader, and you ran away. Honestly, I was more disappointed at you then angry. I thought that Brooklyn had taught you more then that. That you knew running away wasn't a good solution."
Gem found herself staring down at her wrists. Running away had done nothing for her but give her trouble and pain. She looked away from her wrists and up at the boy waiting for him to continue.
Once again the boy paused, allowing everything he was saying to only further sink into Gem's brain. He pulled another cigarette out of his pocket and lit it up, and without even thinking about it, pulled another one out for Gem. He lit his and then handed his matches to Gem. He waited until she had lit hers before continuing.
"Without trying to bring more trouble to your pretty little shoulders then you already have. I want you to know that after I leave this room, you're going to have a lot to think about. I want you to know that this last month that Spot has been talking to you again had changed him so much. When you left, you killed Spot's spirit. When he finally came out of the room to talk to any of us, he had changed so much, nobody knew what to think. He was angry, and cross all the time. The mere mention of your name sent him into frenzy, even your sister's name made him go nuts. He started bringing girls home; he started beating up the guys for no reason, just because he was angry. He was never happy, and it took him along time before he came to me and told me what was going on in his head, and to spare you all the details, just know, it wasn't pretty. The only boys left from when you were here are me a Cricket, and I'm sure that he would be gone to if he wasn't worried about Spot. Imagine living like that for almost four years, that's how long he was this way. Everyday it was the same thing, and then it became routine. Then suddenly, without any warning, he started talking about bringing you back here. How he had something he needed to tell you, to show you, anything that he thought would possibly get you back here, he thought it up. It possessed him."
"For about a month he walked around by himself, leaving early in the morning, coming back after we had gone to bed. When we did see him it was almost like he had completely changed, like he was almost happy, and none of us could figure out why. Then yesterday, he pulled me and Cricket aside from everybody else, and told us about where he had been going. It was with you, told us about your situation, about your hospital stay, and that you would be coming back here for awhile. That was when everything seemed to make sense. After he left this morning Cricket and I decided that we would tell you everything that had been going on with Spot since you had left. That puts you pretty much up to date with Spot, save a few choice incidents that I am going to spare you for a later date, and it leads me to what I'm asking you to think about."
Gem stared at him once again, but this time it was a deep stare. She met his eyes, and she tried to search him for clues. She tried to read him.
"What could you possibly need me to think about?"
"Before I tell you Gem, you have to promise that you'll do it. I don't care how hard it's going to be, because you honestly have no idea how hard the last four years have been on Spot and this Lodging House." He sighed, wishing that he had phrased his wording nicer, but knowing that there was no way to take it back.
"Just promise Gem."
He looked at her then, his eyes pleading, and after deep hesitation Gem responded, "I promise. Now what is it that I have just promised to do?"
"Talk to Spot," he responded quickly.
She looked at him at that moment as if he had three heads, "I have been talking to him Gunther."
"No, Gem, I mean you need to talk to him… about that night."
She stood up quickly, and stood rigid in front of him as if in a state of shock.
"You want me to what?" She asked, not sure if she had heard him correctly.
"I want you to talk to Spot about that night. Find out what really happened. Tell him why you left. Give him some insight into what is going on in your head when you think about it."
Gem stared at him for a few seconds, before falling onto the opposite bed and placed her head in her hands.
Silence filled the room and the tension was so thick that no even a knife could cut it.
Gem heard Gunther stand up and take the few steps to where she sat and kneel down next to her.
"I'm not saying that it has to be tonight, but soon Gem. Help him to fix himself, so that he can be himself, so that he can help you," he whispered in her ear. Then he stood and made his way for the door, and left, without saying another word.
Gem waited until she head the door click before falling on her back on the bed. She sighed.
"If only," she thought to herself.
She could feel the old familiar need rise in her body for the first time since she went into the hospital. She tried to fight it, but all she wanted…no…all she needed was the burning sensation running down her throat, and her head to be dizzy and forgetful. Then she could blame it all on her being drunk. She needed her scapegoat back, and at this point there weren't any rooms in the whole United States that could keep her locked in and away from it.
After she processed that final thought. Regret started to sink in, but there was nothing she could do about it. Her feet were moving on there own, and before she knew it, she was leaving the lodging house, tell "Jim" to tell Spot she would be back in a few hours. She ignored that pang of guilt that was curdling in her gut as she made her way to" Jake's Bar".
This was a pretty important chapter. I have to say that Gemstone is coming to an end. However, I have one HUGE twist that I think may have to spark a sequel. Let me know what you guys think! Review! Oh and sorry for the last chapter, it was basically unnecessary filler because I felt bad that I hadn't updated in so long! Anyway, keep reading thanks for the reviews keep them coming!