Disclaimer: The characters here and the world they inhabit are the creation and property of JK Rowling and her assigns.

January 9, 1999

The Healer was making her arrangements and Andromeda was lying listlessly in the hospital bed. From what Severus had been told, she had been in labor since about two o'clock the previous afternoon and had been in this bed since about four hours later. Now she had been in labor for a full day and was completely exhausted.

He knew now that he wanted Andromeda more than Lily. Lily had shared his bed once and never forgave him for it or any of a million other things she considered infractions against her. This woman loved him in spite of his moodiness and sarcasm and in spite of the fact that he didn't have a paying job.

"Are you sure you want me?" he asked.

"Please don't leave me," she begged. "Please don't ever leave me. You belong here. I know I've been moody and mean lately, and I've heard that men don't like needy women, but I need you."

"Shush," he whispered. "The Healer will be back with your potions. Poppy will be back soon to assist, and the baby will be here. You'll feel better after that."

"I ruined it last week, didn't I? I shouldn't have sent you away like that. Please forgive me."

"Don't be foolish. You were right."

"I was right to send you away? Is there someone else?"

Andromeda was getting panicky, and he was at a loss to soothe her. Poppy came when the Healer came back and gave her the potions. Together the two Healing professionals worked over their patient. She struggled and fought against her pains, half in fear that as soon as it was over Severus would leave again. Poppy was soothing but adamant. She stood on one side of Andromeda as she directed Severus to stand on the other.

The laboring witch couldn't prevent the inevitable, and soon the cry of the child was heard. Andromeda had been held in position by Severus and Poppy, and now she tried to rest. Poppy was busy keeping her focused on what was needed to deliver the afterbirth. The Healer did what was needed for the baby but soon needed to get back to the mother.

So it was that Severus had a small bundle of humanity thrust into his hands. He looked into the small face and then into the face of the mother. Something within him couldn't tabulate the information although the facts were undeniable. He sat near Andromeda as she finished. Poppy finally let her lie back.

The Mediwitch came and took the baby. She looked at Severus and said, "Can there be any doubt?"

"No," he answered. "It's clear to see."

"I'll do the testing, anyway, just to be sure."

"It won't hurt, will it?"

She smiled kindly. "I already have what I need from you, and I can get what I need for the baby using the afterbirth."

He turned and caressed Andromeda's face, kissing her fervently. "I know I said I would stay, but I have to go. I promise I'll be back."

He left before she had a chance to respond.

June 1998

"How can you love me?" he asked over breakfast.

"I don't know," she answered. She was holding her grandson and feeding him a bottle. The image was almost more than he could handle. "I've never been in this position. When Ted and I got married, it was to keep my family from forcing me to marry someone else. The love came later."

He rattled the newspaper. "If I read these veiled hints properly, there are some in our community who believe I intend to sponge off your war widow stipend. I really ought to go back to my own house and find work."

"Not until you're fully ready. I'm not sure I trust what Kingsley said about a pardon until I see the Ministry paperwork, either."

"You don't mind that they think you're foolish?"

She looked up ruefully. "They're going to say far worse things about me when my condition becomes obvious. 'Didn't even wait for her husband's body to be cold,' or something like that, I'm sure. That will be the kind ones. The others will remark upon my 'Death Eater Baby.' There's really nothing I can say or do to prevent it."

"Do you regret our time together?"

She shook her head. "Perhaps I should, but I don't. It was as if it didn't exist in real life. You were such a comfort to me, Severus, even if you couldn't let me leave."

"You can tell them it's Ted's baby."

"Not when I don't believe it to be true."

He read the paper a little longer as she cooed to little Teddy.

"Andromeda... I had the upper hand when you stayed at Hogwarts with me, but now you have the upper hand. You could send me away if you choose."

She smiled at little Teddy, who was smiling back. "I suppose I could, but my feelings for you make things even."

By staying, he only increased the talk and the hints in the Daily Prophet gossip columns. He increased Andromeda's hopes and the depth of her disappointment when her hopes didn't come true. The bitterness of their small quarrels was increasing, too.

If he left, though, he would have to do without the companionship she offered him. He was disgusted to find that even when they argued, he craved her presence. Since the time he first rode the Hogwarts Express he had enjoyed his solitude. He had never in his life been lonely. Now there was an ache whenever he and Andromeda disagreed. Something in him was unsettled until one of them went to the other and they made it up.

To make matters worse, she was the specific witch he needed to be near. He never would have dreamed of a time when he could have his choice of many witches. When in his wildest dreams he had such a choice, the idea of limiting himself to just one witch was completely foreign. Yet here he was, and in the midst of so much offered to him, he only wanted one.

Some of their early quarrels had come about when they had attended one function or another. Wizards had flocked around the widow Tonks, eager to re-introduce her to society. She smiled and refused all offers consistently. Severus, aware she was doing so for him, had scolded her for it. She had quietly shaken her head and insisted that she had no interest in other men.

The point became moot when someone in the press realized she was pregnant. She was the page three headline for a full week as the speculations about her pregnancy played out. Andromeda tried to be serene through it all, but her lips became set. Severus watched her read the newspaper and sighed.

It culminated one morning when Severus read something that shook him to the core. It was too plausible and it explained everything if true, yet it was almost too horrible to be borne. He blasted the paper before Andromeda had a chance to read it.

"Severus, what did you do that for?"

He stood and walked around the table.

"Is something the matter?"

He hated to violate her privacy, but he had to know. "Legilimens."

As he sifted through her memories, he found the nights they had spent together. Where he had experienced the release of his body, she had found a meeting of body and soul. He almost stopped then and there, but continued on. He would have to sort through that later. Working backwards, he found her one-sided battle with Bellatrix and before that she was in the arms of another man. She and Ted Tonks lay together, wrapped in a double sleeping bag and giggling like children as they kissed and... Now he did stop. What he was looking for wasn't there, and he wouldn't intrude further.

"I apologize, Andromeda. I won't disturb you any more." He spent the rest of the day in the still room, working on potions that would be needed in the Hogwarts Infirmary during the school year.

She was visited by Molly Weasley that day. Molly never quite got over the fact of Severus in Andromeda's life, but she was learning to accept it. She had come, full of matronly sympathy over what she had seen in the paper. She brought dinner with her and helped with some of the housework.

Andromeda was strangely quiet as they ate. Mrs. Figg discussed young Teddy's activities that day. He was taking notice and flirting with everyone he saw. She went to the sitting room to listen to the wireless and read the Evening Prophet. After she was gone, Andromeda dropped a copy of the morning edition on the table. A picture of Andromeda with the headline Dark Lord Rising? stared up at them from the front page.

"You thought I had been with Lord Voldemort. The paper speculated about what he might have done to me after Ted was killed, and you thought it was just about possible."

He winced at her use of the name. "It was not something I would have held against you."

"No?"

"No. I know you would never do that with him unless you were forced."

"How do you know I haven't been Obliviated?"

"It leaves a mark. I would have known."

"I could be Occluding it."

"Not from me."

She looked away. "What would you have done if you had seen a memory of him?"

It was not a question he was prepared to answer.

"You almost liked it as a solution to the question of the child's paternity. I can tell."

"Anna..."

"I can't go out any more. That's clear. Everyone will be watching to see if my baby suddenly tries to take over the world."

He had stood then, and walked around the table, taking her into his arms in a way he seldom did. He held her and let her cry. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm prepared to love your child. We'll be a family of sorts: you, me, the two children..."

It was so close to what she wanted but so entirely different that she had to hide her true feelings from him. After they came together that night, she placed her head on his chest as she often did, but looked away from this face. Instead she idly ran her fingers over the line of hairs between his ribs and navel. His own hand rested on her head.

"Anna?"

She shrugged.

"Andromeda."

Still no answer.

"Mrs. Tonks, I have something to say."

She froze at that and slowly lifted her head to look at him. His fingers slid between her tresses and moved them out of her face, over her shoulders and down her back.

"I was wrong to accuse you of wanting to replace your husband with me."

Her eyes widened, but she didn't answer.

"I was also wrong to invade your privacy as I did this morning. I told myself that it was because I wanted to know if he had hurt you, but there was probably more to it." Now he broke the eye contact. "I learned more than I should have, and I'm sorry." His hand went back to her head, stroking through her hair again. "I know now that I'll never replace Ted Tonks in your heart. I apologize for accusing you of wanting me to be him."

She put her head back down and she was quiet for so long he thought she must have gone to sleep. There was a whisper of her breath on his bare skin and then she spoke. "When I was a child, I expected to have nothing less than a tall, dark, brooding prince who would burn with love for me. I came to realize that Ted was the hero who would save me from what my life was becoming. Now there's you, Severus. You can't have Ted's place in my heart, and he would never fit in the place you have made for yourself there. Everything is different now."

He slid down in the bed and grasped her head from both sides. He kissed her hard, his fingers clenched in her hair. He rolled her into the pillows, his knee between hers, and waited for her to moan his name before continuing. She did, and he didn't wait another heartbeat. He enjoyed the softness that surrounded him and the elation that came when she yielded to his passion.

Later, he slid to her side and watched her regain her breath. As her breathing and heartbeat slowed, she curled into him like a kitten and fell asleep. He watched her as he so often did, amazed by her ability to feel comfort in his arms. He thought sadly that she would never feel the same joy with him as with her husband. Although she smiled gently sometimes and, he thought, found complete contentment with him, she never laughed or giggled as freely as she had in that memory. Her happiness was gone, snatched away at the hand of her sister with the spell that killed Ted Tonks. It was yet another reason to assume the child was Tonks's. Surely the child was conceived in the midst of the joy he had inadvertently discovered.

At the time of the Ministry ball, Andromeda had been instructed by the party organizers not to come. Severus had been offended and started the evening with a sense of mild annoyance until the Order of Merlin award had been announced. He realized, then, why she had insisted that he come, and he had known that she would want him to enjoy himself.

He was much sought after as a dancing partner after the awards were given. Many witches between the ages of twenty and fifty had slid their names and owl designations into the pockets of his suit coat as he walked past or stopped for refreshments. He had left the slips of paper in his pockets. He later told himself that he had forgotten about all about them. He found that he had no interest in any witch other than the one waiting for him in her cottage. At the same time, there was a part of him that could not resist seeing what would happen when those papers were discovered.

He wasn't surprised by her reaction in that he honestly had not known what to expect. His clothing was laundered and pressed, and all the little papers were in a pile on the nightstand he used. He had no reason to complain that she had been nosy or had destroyed the notes. Yet for a couple of days, Andromeda's eyes were sadder than usual and far too large. He had flaunted his opportunities before her, and it had hurt her. Yet she wouldn't complain. He had to admire the way she stiffened her back and went about her business. She treated him just as she always had. She silently conceded this particular battle to him, that he might leave and have a different witch every night for several months, yet he felt strangely chastened by it as well.

His hunger for her that week surprised him. He couldn't get enough of her and kept her awake until late at night, when she could barely keep her eyes open. As she slept in his arms he whispered his apologies, telling himself that he was sorry for causing her jealousy and heartbreak. As he fell asleep he was aware that he was also apologizing for much deeper hurts. He knew she was right to ask him to give up Lily, and that it put him in the wrong. Yet the thought of giving up Lily was too painful. He couldn't do it.

That was the week he first felt it. He had made love to her one night until he was completely spent. She fell asleep almost instantly. He held her close, drifting in and out of sleep in a delicious languor. He loved to run his hands over her enlarging belly, feeling an inexplicable sense of contentment in her increasing girth. As he rubbed, he felt something on the other side move against his hand. He snatched his hand away and then realized what he had felt. He touched again and the baby moved again. For that night, he imagined how he would feel if the child was his. It was strangely invigorating, and after that he found himself sliding his hand along Andromeda's tummy in different places, hoping the baby would respond.

January 1, 1999

It reached a breaking point the afternoon he realized she had been repairing his shirts and trousers. Severus came back from a tea that was held in honor of the war heroes and wanted nothing more than a long nap. He came upstairs and discovered her grandson asleep on the bed. She was sitting by the window and calmly darning at a hole on one of the knees of a pair of pants. It was too much of an obligation and it irritated him.

"I don't recall asking you to do that."

"You don't need to ask. It's a task that needed doing and I know how to do it."

"You're not my wife. You have no business mending my clothes."

"My love for you gives me all the cause I need."

"I tell you, I won't have it." He took the pants from her and put them in a bag. He started packing other clothes in that bag, too. Really, it was amazing how many of his belongings had simply moved into this room where he was a guest. He would correct that situation now.

"Severus, what are you doing?"

"Something I probably should have done months ago." She followed him down the stairs and into the sitting room. Her eyes were full of unshed tears, but she wouldn't let them fall. He admired her strength of will for that. He moved closer to kiss her, to tell her that he would be back, but as he looked into her eyes he sensed it would be a disaster for him. It would be too easy to throw himself at her feet and beg her to marry him and let him love her forever. Instead he went for a cheap shot, one he knew wasn't true but one that hurt her, nonetheless.

He wasn't disappointed. She answered in a rush and then turned and went toward the kitchen. He could hear her stifle a sob, but he hardened his heart. It was cruel and somehow wrong of him to leave her when the baby was due any time, but he couldn't take another moment of her overwhelming love. As he heard her retrace her steps, muttering to herself about leaving the baby upstairs, he quickly went through the door and out to her garden and a place he could Disapparate.

January 5, 1999

He stalked through his house, back and forth, from library, to kitchen, to bedroom, and back. With a snort of self-derision, he pulled an Arithmancy reference book from the shelf. He might as well calculate exactly how many kinds of fool he was. Sleep wouldn't come tonight.

He wanted that life. He'd spent 30-odd years wishing for a warm home where the inhabitants loved and respected each other. As a child he had longed for the sort of kindness and soothing nature that was found in the world she ruled. As an adult he had wished for a comfortable oasis in which he could relax from the trials of his work and other commitments. Only a fool would let all of that slip away.

He wanted the child. He was shocked to discover that he already had a relationship with Andromeda's baby. As the mother had slept, he had played with the child, tracing its movements on the outside of her belly. Oddly enough, the child had responded, and he found that he somehow knew this person even unseen. He would never admit it, but he already loved the child. Deep in the dark of night, he had come to wish the child was his, although he kept himself from hoping. He knew better than to hope for anything good to come to his life.

He wanted her. She was still a kind voice and a soft body, but she was also a person. He missed the way she sat primly at breakfast, as though her mother would enter the room at any minute and start scolding her for bad posture. He missed the way she would work in her still room, stirring potions with her entire body down to her hips, in a dance that left him dry-mouthed without her even realizing it. He missed her lovemaking at night. He missed her intelligence and her quick mind. She often admitted that she wasn't the brightest witch to go through Hogwarts, but she knew enough to ask good questions and understand the things he explained.

He did his calculation and shook his head. It was a big number, but perhaps the right size. He knew how much of a fool he felt like. The Andromeda who existed a year ago would never have been right for him. She was content in her life and he was poised for death. Fate and Bellatrix Lestrange had taken a wand and changed everything with one spell. He didn't rejoice in the fact of Ted Tonks's death; no one could be happy that a hero was dead. Yet he would accept it. He would take advantage of the opportunity that change in everyone's lives gave to him.

He and Andromeda were both considered tainted by the truly pure-blood. His father was a Muggle. He wasn't even a Muggle-born wizard. Her marriage to a Muggle-born wizard placed her in a similar position. They had both suffered losses due to the wars. They had both been outcast by those who should be peers. They had tasted loneliness and bitterness, some of it caused by those who owed them love. Yet Andromeda's heart still contained a love which she shared unstintingly, and she had taught him to love her back.

He didn't belong in the birth room. That privilege belonged to Ted Tonks, even if the other wizard wasn't available to accept it. Severus resolved that he would wait until the baby was born and a reasonable time had passed. After that, he would court her and try to win her. Perhaps with him she would learn to laugh again. In order for that to happen, he would have to learn how to laugh, himself.

A/N: Thanks to Mark Darcy for beta reading!