Disclaimer: The Mentalist, Jane, Lisbon, or anyone in the show does not belong to me. And they never will belong to me.

I got this idea from my love of all things horror. Hope you like it. :)

The Haunted House

"Lisbon! I don't want to go in there!!" Jane moaned. He dragged me to the county fair. Just where I want to be on my Sunday afternoon… NOT! Since he made me get my ass here, I'm making him get his ass into the Haunted House to see him piss himself.

"C'mon, you big baby! Look at that 10 year old girl! SHE'S not afraid to go in there!" I dragged him over to the line. I woman about in her late teens looked up at us. Her eyes were all black. Contacts. I thought. She wore a purple and black striped shirt. She wore black skinny jeans as well to complete the eerie effect.

"Welcome to the Haunted House." She hissed. As she talked, you could see her fangs. She wore heavy black make up all over her face.

"Come on down, if you dare to." She continued.

"Let's go!" I smiled a little as I sat Jane down in a cart. I sat down next to him. "Whenever you are ready!" I called.

She smiled and pulled at the lever to start the cart. I saw her fingers had wolf like claws at the tips of her fingers.

"Hope you make it out alive!" she called as we went inside.

"Thanks." Jane whispered hoarsely.

I chuckled. The house was pitch black. I was waiting for a big sweaty guy with an ax to come and try to kill us and that happened. Jane screamed like a girl as I laughed at the man's attempt to scare me. We made a sharp right turn and faced Jason and Michael Myers coming at us with weapons beyond your wildest imagination. I laughed twice as hard and Jane was screaming louder. We went inside to see 3 cannibal men eating a woman.

"I'm going to die. I'm going to die." Jane chanted.

I laughed at the fake gore. Oh, God. This is too good. From the back of the cart, a vampire that just had a bloodlust grabbed Jane from the back. Jane was on the verge of crying and I was literally falling off the cart laughing so hard. As the vampire was loosing his grip on Jane, a white werewolf, all bloody and dirty, jumped onto the cart facing us. I was surprised Jane didn't faint yet. He was still conscious, thank God. The wolf snapped its jaws at me. I slapped its muzzle.

"That is not how you treat a woman!" I snapped.

The wolf grabbed its injured muzzle and ran away from us. The vampire ran as well. That's when a Resident Evil zombie dropped from the ceiling and came toward us. Jane squealed and hid behind my back; grabbing a hold of me so I wouldn't move. I rolled my eyes at him and turned to the zombie.

"Here, zombie, zombie, zombie!" I taunted

The zombie fell for the taunt cause it when closer to us. I smirked and took out the chainsaw I stole from Jason. The zombie looked at the chainsaw and ran. I jump out of the cart, dragging Jane with me.

"I'm walking the rest." I smiled.

Then, crows, thousands of them flew towards us.

"COME AND GET IT, BITCHES!!!!!" I hollered as I waved the chainsaw around. The crows fought me, but slowly retreated. I cackled. I covered my mouth at the wicked noise.

"Oh, God. Hayley and Taylor's evilness is rubbing off on me." I started walking again. That's when men with tons of weapons came out.

"Time for the grand finale!" I giggled, taking the chainsaw out.

I battled them for a good ten minutes until they were too afraid to hurt me. They ran off. I looked at Jane. He was on the floor. He fainted. I picked him up and slapped him.

"What!?!?" he asked.

I smiled. "Let's go." We reached the exit, Jane in my left arm, my newly acquired chainsaw in my right hand.

"I'm guessing that I'm going to drive now?" I asked and he nodded at me.

Damn, this was a short one! Well, whatever, I seriously don't care. I want to know what you guys think of this one. I thought it was alright. I could have done better but:

It's like 10:20 pm

I have writers block

I'm VERY tired

I have homework to do

I'm a fail

I am lazy today

So, I really hoped you liked this one. ((This was probably my crappiest one.)) Please review; you can critic me if you like. Don't worry about hurting my feelings; I deal with a lot of judgmental people in my life. Click that green button to make me happy, please!