Hey... sorry for the delay...

...

Dean glanced at the envelopes in his hands. Post... For the first time in... forever he fetched post from a porch... His life was really screwed.

"Even more screwed up now..." He whispered, throwing the envelopes onto the little, pretty couch table. He hated it.

It's been two weeks since Sam... vanished.

He stayed with Lisa one week now. He already knew that he wouldn't get used to it.

There had been only one moment that had felt bearable.

During the night after he had arrived here, Dean had felt a calming presence in the dark yard. It had been the only night which had been completely dark, too... every other night there had been lamps burning outside.

It might have been the stress or the alcohol. Dean kept telling himself.

"Ah... fuck." Dean snarled. Some of the envelopes had flown to far and as a result they fell down, under the couch. Kneeling in front of the furniture Dean fished a slightly larger envelope from under the couch and his mouth opened when he sad the address.

Dean Winchester

Bobby's handwriting.

There was just a little note in the envelope. 'He wanted you to have it, in case he... succeeds. Call me boy... I need to hear your voice soon. Bobby.'

There was no need to explain who 'he' was.

Dean knew...

"Oh my..." Dean cupped his hand over his mouth, after letting the envelope and the note fall. He felt his face pale.

Sammy...

The amulet was heavy in his other hand that was not over his mouth.

Dean let out a howl, while he jerked around, kicking the couch table in process, breaking one of the legs.

Then he sunk to the ground his right hand still cupped over his mouth, gazing at the item in his left hand, caressing it with his thumb.

After a while he closed his eyes and fisted his hand around the amulet, pressing his knuckles against his forehead, the cord laying over his nose and his other hand.

"Dean..." Lisa's soft voice came from the entrance. "What happened?"

When Dean didn't react, Lisa bit her lip and ran a hand through her hair, before she knelt down beside the broken man, not touching, just watching him.

"You've tried, Dean." There were tears in the woman's voice, causing Dean to look up at her. She forced herself to smile when she continued. "I... God... Dean... I love you... I hope you know that... and that's why I can't keep you here... damn it... you're suffering..."

"Lisa... I... promi-" Dean began but was interrupted.

"You promised to find me and come in for a beer..." Lisa settled down more comfortable. "You did... you said that you would try to be happy here... you said that you would try to have an apple-pie life... yeah... you tried... Sam wants you to be happy... but you aren't... I don't think he wants you to torture yourself." Lisa cleared her throat, wiping a tear from her cheek. "Just promise me to call me as soon as you find him... bring him back... just don't... follow him... not now anyway."

"I'm..." Dean was lost of words. "I don't want..."

"You do... I've seen it in your eyes when you arrived... you don't want to live without him... and there are just two options for you... and I just... I hope... I god... I just hope you'll find him."

"I don't know what to say." Dean shook his head, using his thumb to brush further tears of Lisa's face. "You're amazing. Do you know that?"

"Men keep telling me that." She let out a chuckle.

...

Half an hour later Dean stood in front of the Impala, Lisa beside him, both looking at anything but each other.

"I'm sorry Lisa... I wish it would be different." Dean apologized, his hand wandering to the amulet on his chest.

"Yeah... me, too..." She gripped Dean's hand, turning him towards her. "Just take care of yourself, Dean..."

"You, too Lis... and take care of Ben..." Dean throat was tightening, when he looked into the woman's eyes. Pain was visible in her expression. "We'll see us." He stroked her hair back, before he leaned down and kissed her cheek. "Say hello and goodbye to Ben..." He cleared his throat. "Give him a hug." He added calmer.

Lisa nodded, waving her hand when Dean drove off.

...

One week later...

"Dean?" Bobby's voice sounded wide awake when he answered the phone, though it was in the middle of the night. "Is that you boy?"

"Bobby... I..." He coughed. "Uhh... I... could... ahh... I could use some help here..."

"Dean... where are you? Are you hurt?" Bobby was concerned.

"Ha..." Dean faked a chuckle. "Define hurt... Bobby... could you please try to reach... to reach Cas... I... oh... god... I... I haven't done it on purpose... you... you have to believe me."

"Dean... I believe you." Bobby swallowed hard on the other end. "Just tell me where you are."

Dean heard his friend talking silently on another phone.

"The cemetery... I'm... cemetery. Demons... I killed them... but they got me... bad..." Dean responded. "Bobby... I'm... I'm not... I don't think I'm gonna... gonna make it..."

"Don't say this... don't you dare..." Bobby's voice broke. "Not now... not..."

"Bobby... I'm..." Dean tried to apologized.

"NO... god... I've told you we've should have told him." Bobby snarled and Dean couldn't help but think that this wasn't directed at him.

"Bobby?" Dean asked.

"Hold on..." Bobby ordered. "For your own sake... hold on... Castiel is coming to get you."

"Trying..." Dean answered, listening to his friend's calm rambling.

"Dean..." Suddenly Castiel was standing in front of him, kneeling down immediately, when he saw Dean's side. "Oh my..."

"Cas..." Dean looked at the angel, who laid his hands over the huge, deep gash.

Castiel silenced him with shaking his head. "Shhh... it is going to be okay, Dean... I can heal you. Just stay calm."

"Do whatever you want." Dean let his head fall, not sure whether he wanted to be healed.

Then... he slipped into unconsciousness.

...

"Dean." Bobby's voice was rough by his side. Annoyed.

Dean just squeezed his eyes shut even tighter.

"Will he be okay?" This voice.

Dean startled, concentrating more on his surroundings.

There was a gentle hand holding his own hand. A thumb brushing over his palm.

"Sammy." He shot upright, his head nearly colliding with his brother's head.

"Okay... the boy seems recovered..." Bobby grumbled. "Come on, Castiel... let's give 'em some time."

"Sam... what the..." Dean asked... feeling like he was going to slip away again.

"Hey... surprise?" Sam shrugged, brushing away some remaining tears on his cheeks. "God... I've been scared Dean."

"You... you've been scared?" Dean felt dizzy. That was a dream... that was dream. "Oh my... fuck,.. I have to go out."

"Dean... no... you're..." Sam stood up, when Dean did. "Wait a moment... you need to recover."

"Don't you dare, telling me what to do..." Dean shouted, sounded just as shocked as he looked.

"Dean... I can explain..." Sam whispered, making a movement forward to catch his brother's arm.

"You can explain, why you didn't come to me?" Dean yelled into his brother's face.

Sam bit his lip... he couldn't...

"You know... forget it... I..." Dean raised his fist and Sam closed his eyes, bracing himself for the first blow, but it didn't came, instead he heard the front door fall shut.

"Ah damn it..." Sam swore.

"Follow him." Bobby ordered, handing Sam two bottles of beer.

...

To be continued.

Reviews please.

Last chapter should be up soon. :)