Chapter 4

The Opening Act

Severus stopped outside the door to the potions classroom. He raised his hand to knock, contemplating for several seconds before he dropped his hand again. He turned around and rushed away back down the corridor, almost colliding head on with Lily coming in the opposite direction. She pushed past without so much as glancing at him, and entered the potions classroom.

Severus followed her in. She looked over her shoulder at him and sighed.

"What do you want?"

"I wanted to congratulate you on the job," he said absently playing with an empty phial on a nearby table. "I remember all our years together in this classroom with Professor Slughorn."

"Ah, nostalgia," Lily spat sarcastically.

"You were a brilliant student Lily" he continued, ignoring her bite. "I enjoyed taking potions with you; a bit of friendly competition as we always tried to out-do one another."

"If you were so great then why didn't Dumbledore offer you this job?"

"He asked me to teach Defence against the Dark Arts," Severus grinned. "Just think, with us both on staff…"

"I can't believe he even offered you a job, let alone that one. He must be losing his mind in his old age. Unless you've managed to brainwash him somehow."

"For what purpose?"

"Let me think… so you can corrupt the students, use them to build upon Voldemort's army."

"I assure you that I am here simply to find a new start."

"Ha! Dumbledore has apparently forgiven you for your crimes but that forgiveness was not his to give."

Severus stepped in close, his dark eyes boring into Lily's.

"Look at me Lily; can't you see how I feel? I cannot bear the grief you have suffered because of my actions but more than anything I am thankful that you were spared."

"Spared? What's that supposed to mean?"

"That the Dark Lord listened to me, he listened when I asked him not to hurt you that night."

"What are you saying? Did you know that was going to happen?"

Rage exploded from behind Lily's eyes and she shoved Severus; he stumbled back into a stack of shelves causing glass jars and phials to fall loudly to the floor. She pulled out her wand and poked it into Severus' chest.

"Did you ask for me to be spared before or after you sent my husband and child to their deaths?"

"Lily please, there was nothing I could do. By the time I realised the truth about the prophecy and who the Dark Lord was really after, there was no way I could have stopped him."

Severus looked down at the tip of Lily's wand pressed into his chest.

"You may as well curse me," he said. "It will be too much pain for me to live with knowing that you can never forgive me; that you could never call me a friend again."

Dumbledore suddenly appeared in the doorway and cleared his throat to announce himself. Lily slowly lowered her wand.

"Perhaps you should leave us Severus," the Headmaster said.

Severus nodded and made a hasty exit.

"I am sure I would be wasting my breath if I suggested you go easy on Severus," Dumbledore offered once they were alone.

"The idea that you would welcome a Death Eater into Hogwarts, as a teacher no less, is ridiculous! Have you been imperiused?"

"I assure you that Severus was once a friend and just like the rest of your friends and Hogwarts, is trying to help you."

Lily sighed, her eyes glassing over.

"I know you do Albus but I just feel so damn angry. I'm confused and tired and I don't know where to focus all this… this hatred."

"And Severus is convenient."

"And not altogether innocent," Lily said.

"You must remember that Severus is not the enemy here – Voldemort is."

Lily collapsed into a chair and rubbed her eyes.

"I'm too tired to keep fighting Albus. I hate the man, hate him and I can't keep having him in my head like this."

He nodded and stepped back out of the room.

"We are having another Order meeting before the students return; I hope that you will be there."

Lily sighed.

"We'll see."

Molly Weasley shuffled across the carpet lining the Entrance Hall of twelve Grimmauld Place.

"Hold on there, I'm coming!"

Molly pulled open the door where Lily stood on the other side; her eyes tired and her face drawn.

"I'm sorry," Lily said. "I knew I shouldn't have come."

Molly pulled her into a tight hug, squeezing tightly until Lily struggled free.

"I'm so so sorry about what happened," Molly said holding Lily's shoulders.

"Thanks Molly."

Lily pulled free and rushed past her into the kitchen. The long room was full of wizards mingling about the room, deep in private discussions. As Lily entered, the conversations slowly died down until everyone was staring at her. Lily's face flushed with anger and embarrassment as her friends faces showed pity.

Lily scowled back at them before she noticed Severus standing next to Dumbledore and her anger rose further. Strong hands on Lily's back spun her around and she was face to face with Sirius Black. He pulled her to his chest and this time Lily let herself be hugged. When Sirius let her go, Lilt sat down in the closest chair.

"So," Sirius announced loudly. "Are we having this meeting or not?"

Everyone in the room took the cue and found their seats as Dumbledore called for attention.

"As Sirius reported last week," he said. "Death Eater activities still appear to be on the rise."

"We've managed to capture a few of the mongrels," Sirius began. "But for every one we send to Azkaban, Voldemort's recruiting more."

"What are we really achieving here?" A tall wizard with grey hair asked. "Sirius wastes his time going after these spot-fires but how much damage is that really causing You-Know-Who?"

"It's worth reconsidering a surprise attack, Dumbledore," Sirius said. "Hit 'em right where it hurts."

"What do you suggest?" Minerva McGonagall asked.

"We go after Voldemort himself, hit him with all the forces we have available."

Dumbledore nodded.

"A sound idea, in theory. Under normal circumstances I would agree to do just that."

"So what's the problem?" Sirius was amazed. "Everybody in this room would be willing to fight Voldemort today if you ordered it."

"Voldemort is, shall we say, unlike any other adversary," Dumbledore said. "Due to unique circumstances I am going to ask you to all be patient, to continue the way we have been."

"In other words," Sirius complained. "Doing nothing."

"Trust me," Dumbledore smiled kindly. "The right time to go after Voldemort will come."

Several in the room began talking at once, debating the merits of Dumbledore's soft approach. The Headmaster raised his hands to quieten them down.

"I reassure you all that I have a plan," he said. "And I will be requiring a small team to help me with my own mission."

"Of course I'll offer my assistance," Sirius said.

"Thank you but no. I will ask the individuals in due time."

* * *

When the meeting finally finished later that night, Lily jumped up to make a quick getaway. Severus caught up with her in the corridor but before he could say anything to her, Lily raised a hand.

"Stay away from me!"

Sirius showed up behind them and grabbed Severus by the robes and shoved him against the wall.

"Is this snake bothering you?"

Severus clenched his jaw, eyes boring angrily into Sirius'. Lily swallowed.

"It's alright Sirius, he was just leaving."

Sirius roughed him up a little more before letting him go.

"Do not mess with me Black, I warn you."

Severus pushed past him and once he had left the house, Sirius turned to Lily.

"Are you okay?"

"I am Sirius, or at least I think I will be."

"Come back into the living room and I'll get you a cup of tea."

Lily shook her head.

"I'm tired Sirius and I'm sick of talking. It's all anyone wants to do."

"Just know that I'm here if you need me."

"Thanks Sirius, I know."

Severus was nervous about the start of the new school year. He had serious doubts about his teaching abilities and no matter how much Dumbledore had reassured him, Severus' nerves had refused to fade.

As he sat at the Head Table and watched as the students piled in, Severus hid all his apprehension behind a face of stone and a disapproving frown. He tuned in and out as the first years were sorted into their new houses and later he only picked at his meal.

"Welcome, welcome all to Hogwarts!" Dumbledore announced. "In light of these being such troubling times, there were doubts that the school would in fact be open this year."

Several students began booing.

"However the spirit of Hogwarts is not so easily subdued. I proclaim this a new era at Hogwarts, one where students will not fear the unknown, nor will they back down when faced with adversity."

Now the Great Hall was filled with the cheers and whoops of excited students. Dumbledore raised his hands to silence them and introduced the new members of staff.

"I am extremely proud of the staff at Hogwarts," he said. "And they are dedicated to helping each and every one of you to reach your full potential. Now will house prefects please show the first years to their dormitories."

Severus waited in his chair at the Head Table until the hall was cleared of all students before he stood up. He stepped behind Lily's chair as she stood, looked Severus up and down, then pushed past him.

"It will get easier," Dumbledore said placing a reassuring hand on Severus' shoulder. "Have faith that Lily needs time and space to heal before she could entertain thoughts of forgiving you."

Severus shook his head sadly.

"I do not deserve her forgiveness; I should just be content that she is at least alive."

"Please do not be so harsh on yourself Severus."

Severus shrugged, his head hung low and shoulders hunched as Dumbledore watched him walk away.

Lily listened quietly at the closed potions classroom door at the students as they gathered on the other side. The students, first years, were nervous and excited, talking about how many times they had already been lost in the castle or trapped on the Grand Staircase.

Lily smiled; she remembered how excited she had been before her first class. How only weeks before she had not even known such a school (or world) existed. She remembered how she had not been scared because she had a friend who had constantly reassured her; who had told her all about what to expect at Hogwarts long before she had walked the steps into the castle.

When Lily realised that she had been thinking about Severus fondly, she became angry again. Angry that Dumbledore had encouraged him to stay at Hogwarts when the man deserved a cell at Azkaban. And he was a teacher no less! Lily swallowed her anger and smiled broadly as she opened the door, gesturing for the students to enter.

"Come in, come in everyone and find yourselves a place."

Once they had all settled, Lily introduced herself.

"I'm Professor Potter," she said. "And believe me, I'm every bit as nervous as you lot this being my first potions class and all."

Some of the students giggled and the rest smiled, relaxing somewhat.

"So welcome to potions," Lily continued. "I'm sure you'll find it challenging but also a lot of fun."

"Will we be learning how to make cool things like polyjuice potion?" a small boy in the front row asked.

Lily pondered.

"That's quite a challenging potion so I don't see you learning that until your third year. But don't worry; there are still a lot of other simpler potions for you to start off with."

Lily instructed them to open their text books to page four.

"As you can see by the ingredients, the potion to cure boils is quite a simple one, which makes it a perfect place for us to start."

Lily guided the class through each of the steps and moved amongst them to offer further support as the students progressed through the potion.

"That colour is just perfect," Lily said to one beaming student.

"Thanks Professor."

Lily smiled back; all her concerns about remaining at Hogwarts had disappeared in no time at all and she even found herself looking forward to the rest of the term.