Chapter 12: Adventures in Knockturn Alley

"Ready... PULL!"

TWANG

CHOMP

"Norbert, how many times do I have to tell you, you're not supposed to eat the skeet." said Marcus, exasperated.

"We could always try a grenade launcher." suggested Jason.

Just then, a owl swooped down and dropped two letters in the air. Unfortunately, Norbert got a hold of them before they could get in reach of the boys. Norbert thought they were frisbees, and tore them up.

"AAAAAAA! NORBERT, WE NEEDED THOSE!" yelled Jason and Marcus in unison.

They gathered as much of the letters as possible and ran to the house.

"Okay, I think I've got it," Jason read off his taped-up letter." Der M. Foox, uoy av een weomd bck to Ogwrts, scol of Whcrat an Wizdy..."

"I think mine is better," Marcus read off his letter." Dear Mr. Jones, You are welcomed back to Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry." Marcus finished by reading the equipment they needed.

"Alright, back to Diagon Alley!"

On the way out, Jason gave Norbert the evil eye.

Strolling down the cobblestone path, Jason and Marcus heard a familiar voice. They recognized it at once.

" 'James Bond' " They whispered. That was what Jason and Marcus called Draco Malfoy.

They quickly turned, robes swishing around them, and sprinted down the alley. The alley was marked with a rundown, evil looking sign that said 'Knockturn Alley'.

In a flash, Jason and Marcus were halfway down the path when they were stopped suddenly by a crazy, demented looking witch.

"You look lost. Can I help you?" Normally, they would say yes, but something struck them that this person DID NOT want to help them.

"No, actually," said Jason. "We're just on our way to... um..." Jason looked at a worn-out street sign that was supposed to say 'Borgin and Burkes', but it looked more like, 'Boxes and Pukes'.

"Boxes and Pukes! Yeah, that's where we're going!"

"No such place."

"Well, too bad. We're going there anyway." The boys broke free of the witch's grip and ran around the corner.

"Whew, that was a close one," said Marcus panting. "Look!"

They were standing in front of the shop, Borgin and Burkes. And guess who was inside. Malfoy.

Jason and Marcus ducked under the window and listened intently to the conversation.

"But daaaaaaad, I'm 12 years old, I should be able to roam around free." begged Malfoy.

"Not the way you've been acting young man." said a older looking Malfoy, they guessed it was his dad.

"PLEASSSSSSSSSE?" Malfoy was practically on his knees.

"Mmmmm, fine."

Malfoy flew out of the shop, and wasn't very observant, because he ran right by Jason an Marcus without noticing them.

Jason and Marcus ran after Malfoy, who took all these twists and turns every which-way. It was like he knew they were following him and he was purposely trying to get rid if him.

Finally, he stopped.

Jason and Marcus were panting behind a corner while Malfoy was talking to Pansy. They boys then realized their worst fear.

Malfoy was a valley girl.

"And I was all like, 'Oh no you didn't' and she was all, like, 'oh yes I did'"

This conversation went on for about 3 more hours.

"This is getting boring. Lets go do some shopping.

They were calmly walking down the cobble stone road, when they saw a bunch of people, mostly little kids, crowded around a big window. Inside the window was a broom. It wasn't a ordinary broom, it was all shiny, and it was jet black. On the handle, in gold, loopy letters, were the words, 'Nimbus 2001'.

"It's a broom, big deal. Why is everyone so hyped up about it?" asked Jason.

"It's the newest model in racing brooms." answered Marcus, reading out of a tiny book in his hands.

"You still have that book? We're like experts on magic now."

"Nine months of school hardly qualifies us," said Marcus, his nose in the book." And it looks like we missed out on this giant wizard sport called Quidditch. It's like their only sport"

"How sad. Let's go get some money."

Inside Gringotts, a friend awaited them.

"Jason, Marcus! It's nice to see you two again!"

"Hey, we never got your name last year."

"It's Carter."

"Huh. I was expecting some tong-twisting name, like in Lord of the Rings." said Marcus.

"I know. I get that a lot. Well, do you lads have your key?" asked Carter.

"Right here," said Jason. With the key, he pulled out three pairs of ear plugs. "For the door."

"I see. Right this way."

After the door opened, the boys noticed their was much more money in there then there was before. Carter explained that he invested it.

"Do wizards have a stock market too?" asked Jason.

"Of course."

"He hee hee, Heh, ha ha, MUHA HA HA! THE WORLD IS OURS!" yelled Jason and Marcus in unison.

Jason and Marcus filled their pockets and a reusable grocery bag with money. They headed out to Flourish and Blotts to buy their books, when they came upon a interesting scene.

As Jason and Marcus entered they shop, Malfoy came down the stairs and stopped Ron, his brothers, Ginny, Hermione, and, of course, Harry.

Jason and Marcus ducked under piles of books and scrambles up the stairs for a safe spot to hide. They were going to do some more stalking. The boys listened intently and heard something along the lines of, " Harry, blah blah blah, girlfriend."

"Hee, He, Ginny and Harry are beet red." laughed Jason.

"Now Jason, don't tease. Have you forgotten all about muggle school already?"

"Of course I haven't, why'd you say..." Jason caught himself on a certain memory. "Eileen." Jason said darkly.

They crept back down to buy their books, when they saw a rather pompous looking guy at a table, surrounded by paparazzi, women, and a lot of autobiographies with the same guy on the cover, grinning like an idiot. He was signing books, that apparently, he wrote.

"I wonder who he is," said Marcus out loud. "Surely, no one important, judging by that hair do. It's really dorky."

"Well, lets read one of the books." said Jason.

"Ummm, earth to Jason, this is a book store. You need to buy the book first."

"Not necessarily." Jason had an evil grin.

Jason walked towards the stand, and slowed by a pile of the autobiographies. Everyone was so busy, that they didn't notice him pick up on of the books and replace it with a "How to grow zucchinis in 12 seconds" cook book.

"Now I'm guessing," said Jason, as he walked out the door. "Just what I thought. These guys might be magical, but they never thought as much as to put barcode detectors by the door. Or, for that matter, barcodes on the product."

"Wow, I just noticed that we need 7 books each on this "Gilderoy Lockhart" guy."

"You think I didn't notice that?" Jason took out 2 piles of books from under his robes.

"Isn't this stealing?"

"No, it's just borrowing."

"But, we're not giving it back."

"...Touche. Then we are stealing."

A/N: Sorry, if some of you didn't think this chapter was funny enough; I was running out of material. It wasn't actually necessary to have them go into Flourish and Blotts, but it was important for them to, so they had a better reaction when he ends up teaching at Hogwarts.

I very much welcome suggestions, so if you have any, please review.

Until next time, see ya!