Chapter 4

Did You Just Call me a Man?!

Jasper POV

I skulked down the hallway, put out by my argument with Mr. What's-his-face, you know? The one that thinks he's all that! Telling me what I'd lived through even though I already knew the correct facts.

Walking through the door way of the counsellor's office, I noticed Emmett slouched on the ugly, brown sofa Alice would disapprove.

"Wassup my brother?" he said with a goofy smile and an odd girly high pitched voice making me wonder what his sex really was.

He rose from his seat and screamed once again in that girly way "group hug!" and before I could register what was going on, I was pulled into one of Emmett's signature bone crushing hugs. Literally, for some people.

"Erm there, there dearie. It's going to be ok?" I said awkwardly.

"What are you British?" he asked while I was still in his bear hug.

I raised an eyebrow. "What do you have against British people?" he shrugged and we sat down to await the absent counsellor.

Bella's POV

Meanwhile…

"Alice, stop singing!" I screamed

"Nope, we're off to see the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz." she sang badly out of tune, but it didn't stop there she was skipping and dragging me with her.

As we turn the corner I stumbled as I collided with a rock hard chest. I looked up when the brick wall started laughing only to see two topaz eyes starting back down at me.

"You must be the only vampire to ever stumble even after the change" Edward chuckled.

"Wasn't this supposed to be gone by now?!" I snapped at him.

"It's what made me fall in love with you even more, my love" he smiled down at me.

Then I felt a sharp tugging on my arms and I realised Alice was still attached to my arm. She grabbed onto Edward's arm as well and started dragging us down the corridor. I groaned as she opened her ridiculously huge gob and started singing another really bad version of "We're off to See the Wizard."

I gave Edward a patented puppy-dog pout and begged him to get me away from his deranged sister.

"She's your sister too now."

"I did not sign up for this! What happened to 'I'll always protect to you'?!" I glared at him stonily.

"Aww don't be like that love, I'll always protect you…when your in danger that is." He smirked at me.

I grumbled under my breath "stupid, sexy, mind-reading vampires!"

"I heard that" he said in a sing-song voice. "Alice?" he suddenly said. "Why are you two out here?"

"Well my dearest brother, Bella blew her fuse so now we're off to meet Em, Jazz and the others"

"What" Edward and I said in unison.

"You'll see, visions dearie, visions." She smiled mistily. Then she got a confused look on her face, "Where're the others Edward?"

Edward looked behind him. "Oops, guess I lost them." He shrugged and started back down the hall.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"To the counsellor?" he said.

"Right" I nodded and followed him, not that I had any choice being, attached to Alice's arm that was attached to Edward's arm.

We went down a few hallways in silence until Alice burst out with "Are we there yet?"

I grinned and winked at her when Edward snapped "no."

30 seconds later…

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"…no!"

"Are we there yet?"

"NO!"

"Are we there yet?" Alice and I grinned at each other, alternating between the two of us saying it.

"Yes we are there! So shut the he-!" Edward screamed but, cut off as he looked ahead. "Oh found them."

Confused, I turned to look where he was staring. "Hey dad" Nessie said in a fake happy voice. Edward gulped and went to cower behind me and Alice. An awkward silence befell the group.

"So…" I said dragging out the 'so' and turning to glare down at Edward. "What happened?!"

"It was one of those fatherly instincts! You know? Like the one's you get?"

Everyone went "Oooohhhhh!" And Rosalie even asked me, "would you like to borrow my lighter? You know you wanna burn him!"

Alice's eyes lit up like fairy light's on a Christmas tree and she started belting out "burn baby, burn! " as I stared down, pissed, at a very scared Edward.

"Did you," I hissed, "just call me a…just call me, yeah me, yeah you see me, your wife, me a …a ..a MAN?!" Edward stood there, gob-smacked. "We have a child Edward! What does that make you in this situation?! Hmm? So please explain, if I'm the man, then you gave birth to her apparently eh?! How did that feel eh? Work out pretty well eh? I thought so anyway!" I spun on my heel and viciously asked the others, (who were innocent in this) "what do you think?!"

Edward came to his senses and started backing away from me, apologising profusely. Yeah he better apologise! I thought angrily.

"Rosalie, you're lighter please!" I held my hand out. She gleefully handed it to me. (Isn't it a safety hazard for vampire's to carry lighter's in there back pocket? Jacob asked.)

I turned around, armed and ready, and I lunged at Edward…

A/N: Dun, dun, duuuuuuuun………

Oooooh, what's gonna happen now?? – Myra

Well that was an unexpected ending! I ssooooo did not see that coming! if I were Edward I would run and fast!!! – Lauren

Anyways, sorry for the cliff-hanger but, we just had to! It's a compulsion! A bad one at that but, oh well! Anyway, thanks for reading! Please review! - Myra

Till the next chapter! Xxx - Myra