The next day after lunch, Clare called Eli. He arrived at her house. She smiled and he knew something was up.
"Hey." Clare said
"HI." he hugged her. Clare's arms were like dead weights. "Clare tell me what's up." Eli said
"Sit down."
"What is it? The flu?"
"No its not the flu." she smiled a sad smile at him
"Good. Cause if you were to sick to go Fitz's party," Eli said "Man he would be pissed."
"Eli," she tried to say
"Can I just say something first?" Eli said
"What?"
"Clare whatever is bugging you I love you." Eli said. He smiled and Clare knew he was telling the truth. That made what she was about to do that much harder. "Whatever is bothering you about us, we can work it out"
"Oh man I should've gone first"
"Why?"
"I need to tell you something"
"Tell me."
"I think we should take a break." Clare didn't even want to look at Eli
"What?"
"I am unsure about my feelings for you and my feelings for.." but before she could finish her sentence Eli spoke
"Your feelings for KC?"
"Yes." Eli stood up, clearly upset. "Don't be mad" Clare pleaded
"How can I not?" Eli shouted "What going to be different this time Clare?" He challenged "Huh? Is he gonna be there? Is he not gonna leave you when someone "better" comes along?"
"Eli its just, you been a great boyfriend to me, and its not fair to you that I have this feeling of one foot in one foot out." she stood up and touched his shoulder.
"You just want time to think?"
"Yes." Clare said
"Your not gonna date KC?"
"No, I just need time to sort out my feeling." she hugged him
"You think I am just gonna let you walk out of my life as if you meant nothing?" Eli said
"I am not breaking up with you." Clare told
"Good. Cause I don't give up so easy." he kissed Clare. "Still go to Fitz's party."
"I don't know."
"Think about Clare." he hugged her "I won't make things awkward." he promised. He walked away, and did not stop at his group. He just walked around town. Killing time before Fitz's party.
…...
Alli was waiting for Clare in Clare's room.
"How did it go?"
"Horrible." Clare said
"He was a douche about it?"
"No. he was wonderful about it." Clare said. "Why couldn't he just be a guy and suck?" Clare lay down on her bed. Alli sat next to her
"Why does romance have to be hard?" Alli asked
"The course of true love never did run smooth." Clare said Alli looked at her wired "Shakespeare." Alli smiled. Then he phone went off.
"Oh maybe its Dave." Alli looked at the caller ID. "Its Drew." she answered "Hello?"
"Can we talk?" Drew asked
"About what? I saw you making out with another girl. We are so over!" Alli said
"I screwed up, but I still care about you!" he said and then added "I am sorry."
"Sorry? Why do guys thing that 5 letter word fixes everything?" Alli said "You and I are so done. Go be with that slut. I deserve someone who actually cares about me. Who wants to make me happy." then Alli thought of Dave. How he looked at her. No guy she ever known had ever looked at her like Dave. Dave was cute, sweet, nice. She just realized something. She liked Dave. She really liked Dave.
"Oh yeah who? Who is the perfect guy?" Drew challenged
"Dave Turner."
"Dave? Are you serious?"
"Yes. He is actually mature and not an ass. Have a nice life Drew." she hung up
"You really like Dave?" Clare asked. Alli thought about it
"Yeah. I really do!" she was shocked "Its crazy, I mean its Dave. He is such a dork, and goofy, but he has such a big heart." Alli said "Oh My God" Alli stood up "I love Dave!"
"Finally!" Clare stood up. And danced around her room with Alli who refused to stay still.
"So what are doing tonight?" Alli asked
"Well there is Fitz's party." Clare said
"Great! What time?"
"I'm not going." Clare sat on her bed
"Why?"
"I have to think about my feelings. And going to party where both Eli and KC are gonna be? Not a good idea." Clare said
"Come Clare, live a little." Alli said
"Fine. Only for a hour." she said
…...
KC walked into Fitz's house feeling out of place. He did not want to be there. But he needed to find Eli. He had not been home since he went to talk to Clare. He saw Eli sitting with Drew. KC sighed and walked over to him.
"I will kill him if I see him." Eli said "That ass thinks he can just take what he wants and screw everyone over." Eli was drinking a beer.
"Eli man, where have you been?" KC said
"Why do you care?" Eli stood up
"Because Todd is pretty pissed. You were supposed to check in before you came here." Kc said smelling the booze on Eli's breathe
"Screw you man." he said and pushing past KC.
"What is up with you?"
"Oh like you don't know?" Eli's speech was slurred
"Um no."
"You tried to steal my girlfriend." Eli said
"Well she was my girlfriend first." KC said
"So? You left her and now she wants to leave me for you." Eli said "So screw you man." he repeated
"Sorry I know Clare better and she knows that you will never care about like I do." KC smirked
"Oh yeah. Tell me is caring about her leaving her for some piece of blonde ass? Hurting her and being a dick?" KC's blood boiled "Your right KC. I will never care about her the way you do."
Clare walked into the party and saw KC and Eli confronting each other. She curiously walked over to them
"Watch it." KC said steeping closer to Eli
"Or what? You know you are just gonna hurt her. Or maybe after a week with you, she will realize what a pathetic loser you are and come back to me." KC couldn't hold back his anger anymore. KC punched Eli's face. Eli in anger punched KC back. They were in the midst of this fight, Clare screamed
"Stop it!" she came between them. Alli helped break them up. "What is wrong with you?" Clare screamed
"He started it." KC said
"You started it." she shook her head.
"KC a word." she walked away and KC followed her "You selfish pompous jack as.."but before she could finish KC stopped her
"I am selfish?"
"Yes. You just try to beat up my boyfriend."
"I thought you two broke up?" KC said confused
"No! I just.." Clare was freaking out
"You told him you wanted to take a break because you still have feelings for me" KC smiled . Clare wanted to smack him there
"No!"
"Admit it Clare. You still love me." KC was too excited
"Fine. I still love you!" Clare shook her head "Happy?" she began to leave the party
"Um yeah. Why aren't you?" he stopping her.
"Because," Looked at KC with a scattered look "The reason I started to have feelings for you again, is because you showed me the KC I met last year." she smiled at him with her sad eyes. "the guy who didn't care about what people thought about him. He was gonna be a good guy."
"Maybe this is who I want to be." he lied. Clare shook her head
"No that's not true." she touched his arm. "Remember when I found out about your past? And you said you just wanted to be seen as a good guy? Where is that guy?"
"No one loved that KC." he said
"I did!" Clare shouted "Before your past, or the team or the coach or Jenna, before the lies." Clare told him, her voice breaking up and KC felt like dying "Before all of that, to me you were someone KC. Now your nothing but a pathetic loser." she shook her head and tears began to fall. "Your hopeless." she began to walk away but turned to say "I cant believe that I was stupid enough to think that you could ever be the guy you could be. The guy I fell for." she stepped closer to him
"I can be that guy!" He told her
"No you can't" Clare said "You only want what you cant have. When I wasn't ready to date you, you wanted me more. When you couldn't have Jenna cause we were dating you wanted her."
"That's not true." he told her trying to cup her face but she refused him
"Did you feel anything when we were together? Did you feel anything when we broke up?" she was centimeters form his face "Do you feel anything right now?"
"Yes." he couldn't get that out
"No your lying. I fell for a KC you will never be again." she started to walk away. But looked at KC one last time "Where did that KC go? That is the KC I want to be with, not this." she walked away. KC watched her walk out of his life. He felt something crushing his chest. He ran after her.
"Clare I love you." she looked at him
"No you don't. You cant love me, if you don't love yourself." she looked down "Eli really cared about me, and like an idiot I believed you could change. But now I see you will never. So I am gonna get the one guy who really loved me. Goodbye KC Guthrie."
KC had never known how Clare felt last year, when he left her for Jenna. Now he did. Its like watching a bad horror movie and not being able to stop it. Wanting so badly to stop time but knowing you cant. This was the first time in KC's life he really hated himself. The first time he didn't not want to be KC Guthrie. The first time he wanted to be that person he was. The guy who deserved Clare.