*** I would likes to thanks you for your reviews. Have a cookie. And I would like to answer a question. This dream L had is based on a combination of mine. When I was a little girl I had a dream Osama bin Laden took over the world and was a wizard and forced everyone to wear wool under ware and it itched. I also had a dream about an evil pubic hair monster my junior year***

So they made their way over to the 'Jai Dormi Avec ta Mere" , Mello had a glare In his eyes and a smile upside-down

"Seriously Mello its fine, Near probably isn't too happy about bin Laden either." Matt said trying to comfort Mello.

"Matt, one more word out of you and it's no more sex for a week!"

So just then Matt decided to keep his mouth shut, as they continued to walk to the dreaded hotel. Soon enough they reached the front door and they were greeted by none other than Halle Lidner and Stephen Gevani. It appeared that the 'Jai Dormi Avec ta Mere' was a Moulin Rouge themed hotel as Lidner sported one of those frilly corseted French dresses with fishnets and hooker stilettos and Gevani well he was wearing one of those stereo typical black berets and a stripy shirt.

"Hello Welcome to the 'Jai Dormi Avec ta Mere'! How may we help you?" Gevani greeted in a fake overly dramatic voice.

"Gevani, Its Mello! He's Nears business rival, I'd probably think that he was here to insult Near if it wasn't here with Matt and BB and this other guy that looks just like BB."Halle smacked Gevani .

"So then what brings you to this part of town?" asked Gevani trying to sound as least suspicious as possible.

" We would like to speak to Near, It is highly important." L replied.

"Follow me, this way" and they followed Lidner into a big office surrounded by well Lego's, and dominoes, and Barbies?

"Hello, Mello. Hey that rhymed!" Near said in his usual monotone voice " What brings you to the 'Jai Dormi Avec ta Mere'?"

"Damn it Near it's not like I want to be here!" Mello

"Damn it, Mello just get to the point!" Matt interfered

"That's it! No sex for a month!" Mello screamed.

Near just stared at Mello awkwardly. What could he possibly want? Luckily for him B answered his question.

"Hey you sheep you know how that one evil wizard guy is always making annoying laws to ruin our businesses. Like the no cross dressing law in our hotel, and for your case he made Barbies illegal."

"Yep, and they are action figures not Barbies!" Proclaimed a frustrated Near.

"So I was thinking my friend has this idea that if we build this giant battery operated razor we can defeat the evil pubic hair monster and exile the evil warlock"

"Ah so that's what you're here for, I am glad to offer my help. My employees will help you until the job is done"

And from then on they worked together, from dusk till dawn. Near and Mello did not even argue about the razor's color or style, no they were above that, the world was more important. So instead of putting apart their differences they left Beyond Birthday to figure all that crap out, and make the most important decisions, cause if anyone could get away with murder it was him. Beyond Birthday decided that it would be somewhere in between a Venus Vibrate and a Venus Breeze, seeing as things that vibrate are fun and he liked the color purple… a lot ….

" Ah so it's finally done !" a familiar voice seemed to appear from nowhere, wait a minute…. Oh my god it was a very familiar looking cat girl.

"It's you again!" L pointed a finger at her. "You have a lot of explaining to do!"

" Never mind that, we have to hurry to save your boyfriend!" She teased " Anny ways I thought I'd help. Guess what I got!"

" JAM!" Beyond made a wild guess.

"OOOH, OOH, OOOH, CHOCOLATE!"

" Is it Lego's?"

"Cigarettes?"

"You're All wrong !" she yelled " I thought I'd lend a hand by bringing along 25 ferrets armed with lime scented Nair! Oh and yes Matty, I always carry along cigarettes."

"Why that's absolutely wonderful." L replied sarcastically. "How did you get them?"

" I stole them from Ferret Land" she replied " I stole them from my geometry teacher of sophomore year. After he failed to take over the world with them, he tried to start a ferret themed amusement park"

"Now off to the castle!" BB yelled.

"Wait a minute Beyond you just can't barge in to see Osama." Near said" You always have to have some sort of business with him."

"Well unless you're a prostitute!" Mello exclaimed, finally he had beat Near at something.

"Cross dressing is forbidden, Mels" Matt reminded him, guess he spoke too soon.

"Luckily the Burka is in style so we don't have to worry about anything" L stated.

So off they went to Osama's castle dressed in pink burkas they disguised the razor as a purple futuristic car, and the ferrets were disguised in Pikachu costumes. On their way they came across a man in the entrance of Ferret Land crying, he looked like a chubbier version of Toby McGuire (Peter Parker), and he was wearing glasses.

When they arrived at the palace they were greeted by the palace guards who just happened to be wearing blue wool under ware. And a song that most American people don't know was playing it was :

.com/watch?v=M_ston7gXJk

Bounce by Tarkan.

Spider monkeys began dancing and the men who were wearing wool under ware began to shake their hips and then pelvis thrusted. Damn the things poor people done when forced in to slavery by an evil wizard.

"Welcome to Castle Osama!" the guard sang "What business could you possibly have coming here"

"Were prostitutes"

"What about the Pikachus?"

"They're prostitutes too!"

"Well that's a good enough reason for me to let you in" and the funny little man continued to dance along with his fellow guards, and the gates to the palace opened.

Inside the throne room sat an evil warlock wearing a periwinkle colored turban and a gown of silk laced with gold forming stars.

"For the last time I keep telling the guards Im' not in to bestiality! Now I will have to punish my beloved Light-kun!" Screamed Osama bin Laden, the evil wizard. He looked down, below him there was Light Yagami. He had a red ball gag in his mouth , his hands were tied around his back with leather bands, and he seemed to be wearing the same classical blue wool under ware everyone else was wearing.

"Stop!" L yelled heroically removing his pink burka , and an evil Osama laughed.

"You cannot stop me feel the wrath of the evil pubic hair monster, you trespasser!" He yelled and the roof was raised from the ceiling up to the heavens, and a mass of red hair fell from the heavens as it roared.

"Oops I forgot to tell you it was a ginger pubic hair monster." Shrugged cat girl, as she commanded the ferrets to take of their Pikachu costumes.

"Really" L smacked himself in the head.

"Now Fire" Cat girl commanded and the ferrets sprayed Nair all over the monster, it got all around it, some even got on Osama's beard.

"NOO, what are you doing to my monster?" Osama screamed "My beard"

Matt and Mello prepared the razor, it hummed and growled, and they mounted it like a horse, and ran it straight to the monster's heart. Without the monster Osama was losing his great powers. However without his beard he was nothing.

"My Beard... My Precious Beard!" he cried " …..Without my beard… I….die….."

And he took his last breath and turned in to sand.

"Well that was easy" Cat girl sighed "Now let's give those two a moment"

Cat girl and everyone left the room to give the two love birds some … space. Oh and to spread the news of Osama's defeat! Perhaps her geometry teacher did have a chance of taking over the world with ferrets after all!

L undid the leather bands around Light's wrists and took out the ball gag.

"Light are you all right?" L asked , Lights face was covered in tears, his back covered in whip marks.

" I am now" he replied

No more words were spoken among them as L placed a light kiss on Lights forehead, and whipped away his tears. They looked in to each other's eyes and their lips met, slow and gentle at first the way every first kiss should be. But pace always changes with these sorts of things. L reached down and grabbed Lights butt, shocking the brunette just enough to grant his tongue access to his mouth. He lay Light down on the floor legs intertwined and his hands tangled in his hair. It was everything L could ever wish for, If this was truly a dream he never wanted to wake up

" Ryusaki, Wake up" Watari called from the intercom "Don't tell me that you forgot what you have to do today."

Damn it.