Uh... Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays?

Sorry guys... my life is so crazy lately. School, this one guy, band... just a total nightmare, really.

At least I have a two-week break coming up, so I should be able to write some more, and maybe even update again.

Yay. :)

Chapter 15

The judge paused in mid-chew, swallowed, and stood up.

"I would like to remind the court that these proceedings are purely fictional, and might I add, very strange." He sat down again. "Ms. Fey, if you would put your book down – "

"NO WAY! They killed him?!" Maya clutched her manga in shock. "I forgot all about this! Aww man, and he was my favorite character, too!"

"MS. FEY!" the judge thundered.

"Hm? Oh, hey, everyone's here! All right," she said, snapping the book shut and placing it underneath the table. "Proceed, Your Honor."

The judge nodded.

"Court is now in session for the trial of Mr. Phoenix Wright."

'What?!' thought Phoenix, shocked. In the back of the crowd, a grey eyebrow rose.

"Ms. Fey, your opening statement, if you please."

Phoenix looked at Maya, who had stood up straight, shoulders square. Her expression was deadly serious. Overall, it seemed as if a different person was wearing Maya's clothes.

"Thank you, Your Honor. The prosecution will prove, without a doubt, that the defendant, Phoenix Wright… is in love with Miles Edgeworth."

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Edgeworth's eyes widened, muscles growing stiff. He watched as Phoenix recoiled in surprise, then recovered and glared at Maya, who met his stare with a cool, bored expression.

'What?! This is…' He checked once again to make sure that Oldbag could not see him. He had gotten a nasty shock when he recognized the face under that stiff blue hat.

'This is… not just his reputation at stake, but mine too! I have to do something… but…' His thought was interrupted by a chuckle from the judge, which quickly turned into uproarious laughter, soon mirrored by the rest of the crowd.

"Ho ho! That's a good one, huh, Bob?"

"Heh, yeah. Sure hope they do these more often. Jokes like that make my day."

"Maybe next time they'll prove that the judge is a pimp! Ha ha ha!"

'They all… think it's a joke… then again, he did say it was fictional…' Glancing at Maya, he noticed that her determined stare and stiff posture contrasted with the rest of the crowd. 'No. In her mind, this is real.'

Edgeworth leaned back against the wall, grey bangs falling into his face. He debated with his inner self for a while, finally deciding to stay.

His heart was pounding much too fast to allow any movement on his part.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

Phoenix straightened quickly, realizing that he must look rather suspicious to the still-chortling mass of spectators. He finally tore his eyes away from Maya to look at the judge.

"Your Honor," he firmly stated, slamming the desk, "this is ridiculous."

"I believe, Mr. Wright, that he stated so before the trial started," Maya mentioned, lifting her nose slightly.

'Her demeanor has changed completely… she's acting like…'

"Unless," she continued, smirking, "you would like to forfeit and hand me the verdict?"

'Like… Edgeworth!'

"Shall we continue, Mr. Wright?" the judge asked.

"Um… yeah," he muttered. 'I'll just have to prove her wrong!'

"The truth always comes out, Mr. Wright," commented Maya. "I'd like to call my first witness, if I may."

"OBJECTION!"

All heads turned to look at Phoenix, who had his arm outstretched, finger pointed at Maya.

"I'm afraid I have a problem with your statement, Ms. Fey! You see," he said, "I cannot possibly be a homosexual!"

Maya raised her eyebrows.

"Oh? Do tell."

Phoenix smirked.

'I've got this all wrapped up.'

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Miles Edgeworth had been watching the proceedings with interest, noting how Maya took after him in behavior. Then again, he was the prosecutor she'd been around the most. He then looked over at Phoenix, wondering why he had felt a twinge of disappointment at his last statement.

"In college," Phoenix began, "I had a girlfriend! So you realize," he continued, "I am, in fact, heterosexual!"

Everyone stared at him in near-disgust. "Uh, what?" he asked.

"Mr. Wright," Maya said slowly, as if speaking to a child, "there is the possibility of bisexuality."

The judge nodded.

"Objection overruled, Mr. Wright. By the way, was this that 'Dahlia' girl? Didn't you eat a poisoned glass vial to protect her from being found out?"

The crowd laughed again. Maya's eyes twinkled with humor.

"There were only traces of poison, Your Honor," Phoenix corrected him.

For the current time, Miles was judging the trial as an outside prosecutor, and not as a personally involved party. It was easier that way.

'Wright, you moron,' he thought, shaking his head, 'you couldn't have possibly won the case with that flimsy bit of trivia!'

He raised his eyes again as Maya opened her mouth.

"Hold it, whippersnappers!"

Maya groaned as Oldbag forced her way onto the stand, eyes glinting dangerously. Phoenix raised his eyebrows, as if astonished that she was actually trying to help him.

"As this whippersnapper knows, Edgey-poo is committed to ME and ME ALONE! He would not dare to go after my Edgey-boy!" she gushed, cheeks reddening.

The crowd was silent for a few moments.

"Off." Maya pointed to the door.

"You! How dare you address me in such a rude manner! In my day, whippersnappers didn't talk back to their elders, oh no! Nowadays, there's no such thing as 'yes ma'am' or 'no ma'am', and certainly nothing so chivalrous as – "

Maya rubbed her temples in exasperation.

"Somebody… please…"

"I'll take care of it, pal!" called a familiar voice. Before she knew it, Oldbag was being hauled away by the detective, screeching, "Don't forget it, whippersnappers!"

"…Shall we continue?" the judge asked.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

"The prosecution calls Pearl Fey to the stand!"

Pearl stepped up behind another desk, meeting the eyes of everyone in the crowd, including those of Miles Edgeworth. She nodded slightly to acknowledge his presence, then turned to face Maya.

"Witness. Name and occupation."

"Objection!" shouted Phoenix, pointing at Maya. "The witness is related to you, and is likely to be biased!"

"It's a game, Mr. Wright. Why can you not grasp this concept?" reprimanded the judge, shaking his head. Maya smirked, and ordered Pearl to continue.

"My name is Pearl Fey," the tiny girl stated in a clear, loud voice. "I am a spirit medium in training."

"Witness," Maya began, "could you please testify to the court about Mr. Wright and Mr. Edgeworth?" Pearl nodded and began to speak.

"I think Mr. Nick has always been very close to Mr. Edgeworth. Mystic Maya says that they were good friends since they were in school… and Mr. Nick is always trying to help Mr. Edgeworth. Plus, he was very upset when Mr. Edgeworth left…"

"Hmm." The judge nodded.

"Hold it!" Phoenix shouted. "You merely stated that we were good friends! So what?! I can have a male friend without being attracted to him, can't I?! Just ask Larry!"

"Mr. Butz and Mr. Edgeworth are very different people," Maya stated coolly. "Whereas Mr. Edgeworth is a very attractive man, Mr. Butz leaves something to be desired."

"HEY!" yelled a familiar voice from the back of the auditorium.

Maya sighed. "Perhaps this matter shall be cleared up after she testifies again. Miss Fey, could you please testify further on Mr. Edgeworth's departure?"

Pearl adjusted her magatama slightly.

"Well… everybody learned not to say Mr. Edgeworth's name… when they did, Mr. Nick would get very upset and yell, then he was quite depressed for a long time. And now, Mr. Nick blushes a lot when Mr. Edgeworth is around. It's obvious that they're very close."

"This little girl has quite a vocabulary," the judge commented. A few spectators murmured and nodded in agreement.

"This proves nothing! Anyone would be upset if their friend went and left a suicide note!" Phoenix countered.

"Enough to freak out whenever he was mentioned?" Maya asked. "Face it, Mr. Wright. Your attitude resembled that of a betrayed lover, rather than a lonely friend."

Phoenix gritted his teeth. This was not going well for him. He perked up suddenly as an idea entered his mind. "Miss Fey… going back to my earlier point, how am I to know that this witness is not being manipulated in some way? Even in fictional proceedings, this is still a case of perjury, albeit much milder."

"I beg your pardon?"

"You see," Phoenix continued, "the witness, for the year that I have known her, has been convinced that you, Maya Fey, are my 'special someone'!"

The crowd muttered.

Maya's arm twitched, as if she was stifling the impulse to flail it around in exasperation. Instead, she shook her head, shrugging. "And am I your 'special someone', Mr. Wright?"

"Well, no, but – "

"Precisely. People change their minds based on what they witness, Mr. Wright. Even this witness, young as she may be, has that particular mental ability, unless you mean to imply that she is a simple girl with a one-track mind?"

'Shit, not the guilt trip!' "No, no, of course not!" Phoenix stammered, waving his hands in front of him. 'Can't get anything out of Pearls, I guess… knowing Maya, she'll call another "witness".'

"But enough about that," continued the spirit medium. "I have another witness to your strange behavior."

Phoenix had a feeling that he knew who it was going to be.

"The prosecution calls Ema Skye to the stand!"

………………………………………………………………………………………………

'Well,' Miles Edgeworth mused, 'this has been a very interesting trial.'

He had been quite surprised at the revelation of Wright's strange behavior, caused by his abrupt departure. 'He… was depressed?'

He paid no attention as Maya went through the prosecution's "name and occupation" ritual, but snapped out of his reverie as Ema's voice filled his ears.

"So… Maya's birthday party," she remarked. "There was one particular incident that stood out. Ms. von Karma tried to whip Mr. Wright, so he hid behind Mr. Edgeworth. Okay, maybe that's not so unusual. Mr. Edgeworth has very broad shoulders, after all. Like a football player." This drew a few snickers from the crowd, and an embarrassed blush from Edgeworth. "Later, they started talking in a corner, and Mr. Edgeworth squeezed Mr. Wright's shoulder. Then, Mr. Wright touched his own shoulder for a long time, and stared at Mr. Edgeworth as if in a daze."

"Hey! Objection! I had an itch!"

"For an entire minute?"

"It happens!"

"Liar!"

"ENOUGH!" the judge roared. "If the defense has no further questions, we would like to continue!"

"Tsk tsk, Mr. Wright," chided Maya, wagging her finger at him. Phoenix, apparently unused to this personality alteration, raised one eyebrow before remembering the situation. "You would do well not to badger my witness."

"But – "

"THE PROSECUTION," Maya interrupted, "would like the witness to testify about the behavior of Mr. Edgeworth!"

"How does this have any relevance?" the judge asked.

"In due time, Your Honor, all shall be made clear," Maya answered. "Witness?"

"Okay!" Ema chirped. "Hm… Mr. Edgeworth hasn't been nearly as focused lately. A bystander wouldn't notice the difference, but I know him pretty well. He often scribbles on a piece of paper that has nothing to do with his work… but I definitely saw the name 'Wright' on it. Quite a few times, actually. He sure talks about him an awful lot, come to think of it…" She finished her testimony and folded her arms, satisfied.

"Does the defense have any questions?" the judge asked.

Phoenix seemed very confused by the whole thing. Edgeworth clutched his arm; had Ema really noticed that?

"Your Honor, this is completely irrelevant," Phoenix finally remarked.

"You're right," Maya smirked. "I just wanted to point that out to you. You dropped your guard for a second there after hearing that, no?"

"Not very professional, Ms. Fey."

"Good thing I'm not a professional, eh?"

"Enough!" interrupted the judge, banging his gavel. "May we please continue, regardless of subject matter?"

"Very well. Detective Dick Gumshoe, take the stand," Maya commanded, as Phoenix sputtered indignantly.

"Isn't there an excessive amount of witnesses?" he asked, sighing in defeat.

"The point of being a lawyer is to drive your point home and solve the case," Maya replied, closing her eyes for a few seconds. "Witness," she began once more, "Name and occupation."

………………………………………………………………………………………………

"Ema's right, pal," was the first statement of Gumshoe's testimony. "Mr. Edgeworth talks about you quite a bit. You were practically the only thing on his mind after that Steel Samurai case. He really cares about you, pal." Pausing in the middle of his speech, he dug in the large pockets of his green trenchcoat, which had been returned after its long and mysterious absence. The neatly written "To Scruffy" on the front pocket was a dead giveaway as to the identity of the benefactor.

"Here it is!" Gumshoe exclaimed, unfolding a piece of paper. "This drawing, by none other than Mr. Edgeworth himself! Now that's what I call decisive evidence, pal!"

"Objection! How do you know that it was drawn by Edgeworth?!"

"Testify about the drawing, Detective," Maya smoothly commanded.

"Yes, sir… ma'am…sir! This drawing was found on Mr. Edgeworth's desk. It's a picture of Mr. Wright, and it has Mr. Edgeworth's fingerprints all over it. Heh heh," he chuckled, "he must really like you, pal."

"A… drawing?" Phoenix asked weakly.

"Yeah! Here, catch!" Gumshoe folded the paper up and threw it to Phoenix, who caught it in mid-air and opened it.

'Edgeworth…'

"The prosecution has a lunch reservation, so if the defense is done with his ogling, we would like to finish this trial today," Maya sardonically remarked. "I would like to call…"

"HimynameisLarryButzI'mcurrentlyunemployed!" a familiar voice cried, its owner leaping over a few benches and landing on the podium. "Ta-daa!"

"Mr. Butz – "

"About Nick and Edgey, right? Okay! Here I go!" Larry cleared his throat and dabbed at his forehead with a handkerchief, accidentally poking himself in the eye.

"THEY'RE TOTALLY GAY FOR EACH OTHER!!!"

"The defense requests that the witness shut up!" Phoenix roared, too embarrassed and angry about this whole matter to care about keeping his temper in check.

"I feel it right here," Larry sniffled, putting his hand over his heart and ignoring Phoenix. "I walked in on them holding hands, and… they were about to kiss! It was SO BEAUTIFUL!" he bawled, ignoring the disbelieving stares of the crowd. "Plus," he added, brightening, "Nick became a lawyer because he wanted to see Edgey again. If that doesn't spell L-O-V-E, I don't know what does! And don't forget the gift that Nick gave Edgey!"

"Which was…?" Maya prompted.

"A really expensive fancy hairbrush that fits in with that other froofy crap Edgey likes!" Larry beamed. "He blew his whole damn bank account just to make Edgey happy! Isn't that sweet?!"

The crowd erupted, and the judge banged his gavel frantically.

"OBJECT-"

"Get off the stand, fool!" A whip snaked around Larry's arm, and Franziska von Karma jerked him to the side. "Mr. Phoenix Wright," she said, glaring at him.

'Uh-oh…' Phoenix thought.

"Mr. Phoenix Wright," she reiterated. "As foolish as it is, my little brother is in love with you." She slammed a thick bundle onto the table. "He still keeps your old letters at his house, from when you wrote to him after he moved in with my papa and me. The one you didn't send," she continued, waving a piece of paper between two fingers, "I recovered from your office. You should really take out your recycling more often, Mr. Phoenix Wright.

"Now, if you don't want me to read this foolishly drawn-out confession of your love for Miles Edgeworth aloud, then I would suggest that you confess and take your 'guilty' verdict honorably."

"OBJECTION! Based on the witness's disposition towards myself," Phoenix argued, sweating nervously, "it is highly likely that she is lying about this matter in order to humiliate me! Her whole reason for coming to the United States boils down to the fact that she is determined to defeat me!"

"Oh, please," Franziska replied, lip curling in contempt. "Do you really think I would settle for a defeat in this foolishly shoddy fake trial? No, Mr. Phoenix Wright… I want to defeat you in your prime, in the real courtroom! That is why I must reveal all here, so you can fully concentrate once this foolish matter is FINALLY settled!" While Phoenix opened his mouth dumbly, Franziska cleared her throat and straightened out the piece of paper that she held.

"Dear Miles,

You have no idea how hard it is for me to write this letter, and I suppose it will be even harder to send it. There is something that I must say, however, and I just can't bring myself to tell you in person.

It's been a while since we met each other for the first time in court, after many long years apart, but I think my part in this started a few years before that, when I was in college, and when I first – "

Phoenix let one fist fall on the desk in front of him. Franziska paused, glancing over at him, and Phoenix spoke weakly. "Stop… just stop… I can't…" He fell silent, unable to say any more.

That damn letter. Phoenix remembered writing it just last week. He had been so desperate to get his feelings out that he just… wrote them down and crumpled them up. Now, it had proved to be his undoing. He gave Maya a ferocious glare, and she recoiled.

She had never been looked at that way before, especially by Nick, with his eyes so full of hate and pain. Maya bit her lip.

'I'm doing this for you, Nick…'

The judge raised his voice.

"I believe it is time for me to declare my verdict. This court finds the defendant, Mr. Phoenix Wright, guilty." He slammed his gavel.

It was done.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

"Oh ho ho! Great acting, everyone!" the judge laughed. "That was fun! We must do that again sometime! I think the audience enjoyed it too. Ms. Fey, you might consider a career in the field of law. I think you have a real aptitude for it!"

"Thank you, Your Honor!" Maya smiled and clasped her hands together. Her expression turned to one of worry as a flash of dark blue caught her eye. 'Nick…'

"Nick! Wait!" she cried, putting a hand on his shoulder. Phoenix shrugged her off harshly.

"I have never been so humiliated in my life," he growled. "Don't touch me. I'll see you on Monday." The defense attorney stalked off, leaving his assistant to stare after him forlornly.

"Mystic Maya?"

"…Let's go, Pearly."

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Phoenix walked out of the auditorium, fists clenched, face red, muscles tense. If anyone he knew had been there, he was a ruined man. Not to mention, if Edgeworth ever heard…

A hand clenched his shoulder and whirled him around. Blue eyes met stormy grey.

'Oh shit, not now…'

"Wright," stated Edgeworth firmly. "We need to talk."