Author's Note: I hope this long update makes up for the equally long wait. Please read and review.

/

Bebe hung up her cell phone and turned to face her boyfriend. Her full lips formed a perfect pout; the happiness fading just as quickly from her eyes. She squirmed anxiously. Her frizzy hair whipped from side to side as she shook her head, as though she were arguing with herself. She bit her tongue for a moment but eventually could no longer hold back what was on her mind.

"We have to go to school."

"What?"

"Please, Kenny? Wendy said she'd tell me what was going on later but if we go to school I can find out sooner."

Kenny rolled his eyes. "You can wait until school's over."

"No! I want to find out right now."

Kenny's poor posture sunk his back further down against the couch cushions. Curious what was on daytime television, his hand grasped the nearby remote control and explored the channels. "That wasn't part of the deal, remember?"

Bebe joined Kenny on the couch. She made sure to press her hip against Kenny's and placed her head on his shoulder. She batted her eyelashes cutely, but Kenny was too focused on the TV to notice. Bebe nuzzled Kenny's neck. She could tell her refusal to let up was getting to Kenny judging by the softening expression on his face and the hardening lump she eyed between his legs.

"Deals are made to be broken," she said.

Kenny groaned slightly. "But I already had my heart set on skipping today. You said we could last night."

"So? I say a lot of things when I'm horny."

"I'll remember that the next time you want a booty call."

The running shower water was silenced in the background. The bathroom door opened, causing steam to escape and fill the apartment. Stan emerged, attempting to pull one of Kenny's gray shirts over his head while brushing his still-wet black hair.

"Stan, can we catch a ride with you to school?" Bebe said.

"Why do I have to go? You're the one who wants to talk to Wendy."

Bebe glared at Kenny. "You know, I'm just as tired as you are. If I have to suffer through the school day then you should too. Besides, Wendy's my best friend. That means her pain is my pain. She's going through something big right now and whatever it is I need to be there for her. If you really loved me you'd want to be there for me while I'm being there for her!"

Stan paused in the middle of tying his shoes. His ears perked up as he tuned in the bickering couple's conversation. What was Wendy going through? Does she know about Cartman's video already? Is she feeling guilty for her video with Kyle? Most importantly, does she want to kill Stan Marsh and hide the body for technically having drunken sex with her technical boyfriend? Stan knew from first-hand past experience just how possessive Wendy could become. Talking to her sounded like a good idea. Perhaps if he confessed his involvement right away Stan could earn some brownie points. With every second lost it was possible that Stan was getting into deeper and deeper shit. He hurriedly finished tying his shoes.

"Guys can you please have this fight later? I need to go. Come on if you're coming," Stan said. Giving them a ride was the least he could do after they took him in this morning.

Kenny stood up from the couch and moved away from his girlfriend. "Don't give me that 'if you really loved me' shit. That didn't work when I used it on you."

Bebe stood up next, pointing an angry, manicured finger at Kenny's chest. "Asking to do it without a condom is a little different!"

"Guys I really have to go," Stan reiterated. He glanced at his watch.

"Babe, you know I'm whipped for you." Kenny said.

"Well you won't be getting whipped by me any time soon, asshole!" Bebe said.

"You call me at Midnight, knowing we have school the next day, and say you want me to fuck you until you can't walk. I do that, and now you're mad at me for being tired the next morning? That's bullshit!"

Bebe pointed to her legs. "Last time I checked, I'm still walking just fine."

Kenny's face grew red with anger. "Don't go there."

"I'll be in my car. If somebody isn't out there in five minutes I'm leaving without you," Stan threatened.

"Stan what's your fucking problem? You're already late. Chill," Kenny said.

"Don't take your anger out on him." Bebe said.

"Don't tell me what to do." Kenny replied.

"What's the difference? You never listen anyway."

"I listen to you plenty."

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Oh for God's sake!" Stan exclaimed. "You really want to know what's going on? Fine I'll tell you. Wendy made a porno tape with Kyle and sent it to Cartman to piss him off. He ended up showing it to me and then got me drunk and had sex with me to get revenge. He filmed it and now Wendy and Kyle are going to see it if they haven't already, and I need to get to school to figure out what the hell's going on! There!"

Stan slammed the door behind himself as he exited the apartment. Bebe and Kenny's jaws hit the floor simultaneously. Their bloodshot eyes stared at the part of the room Stan's body had previously occupied, then at each other, and then back at the closed door. The couple searched frantically for their respective shoes. Forgetting their own fight, they ran outside to follow Stan and get further details on the juicy story.

/

Wendy knew Cartman just as well as she thought she did. Cartman did show up for lunch to claim the delicious food as she'd suspected he would. He simply chose to do so during the school's mandatory second lunch period. The National School Lunch Program had selected South Park High to be one of a few schools which served two lunches each school day. Of course students were only allowed to take one of the two lunch periods offered, having a class scheduled during the other, but Cartman being Cartman he was able to sneak in a different or even second lunch on numerous occasions.

The tray of the devoured lunch landed alongside other trash as Cartman passed a garbage can on his way into the boy's bathroom. He unzipped his fly and aimed himself at the nearest urinal. A clock on the wall indicated that it was just about noon. Cartman smiled. Just a few more hours until Wendy and Kyle got what they deserved. Mostly Wendy, but Kyle would at the very least have to endure seeing his best friend being tainted forever by the man he hated the most. Cartman saw Kyle taint Wendy's gorgeous body. Payback was only fair. Cartman briefly wondered if he should track down Wendy and pretend to be forgiving and nice like she did. He decided against it. Cartman wasn't usually nice. Starting now would only tip Wendy off to the scheme. She was too smart for her own good. The same was true of Kyle. No wonder they picked each other to fornicate with. Cartman flushed the toilet and moved to the nearest sink to wash his hands.

"Ohhh…Stop!"

The fat boy paused in the middle of applying liquid soap to his palms. A moan coming from a bathroom stall was nothing new, but an angry whisper to stop? That was different. Cartman shrugged it off. Some poor guy had probably just eaten the school's mystery meat.

The girlish giggle that followed the demand to cease regained Eric's attention. Cartman hesitantly looked over toward the bathroom's stalls. Two of them were empty; a fact noticeable thanks to a lack of feet touching the visible ground. The third stall had a backpack conveniently placed on the floor making Cartman or anyone else unable to see who if anyone was inside. A second, lower moan rang out. Then another and another. The noise was practically beckoning Cartman to come over and investigate. He crept toward the source of the sound, the moans getting louder. One of them even sounded like it was coming out of a girl's throat.

Cartman gripped the stall's handle and bravely flung the door wide open, revealing a bottomless Bebe perched in a bottomless Kenny's lap. Her legs were wrapped around his waist, her hands on his shoulders. His hands were on her hips, and his penis appeared to be concealed safely inside of her vagina. Kenny's hands moved down to cover Bebe's bare ass from Cartman's vision, glaring at his fat friend over Bebe's shoulder.

"Cartman!"

"Aw-aww!" Cartman said. He covered his eyes and slammed the door closed. "The fuck you guys!"

"Hmph! It's called make-up sex. Thanks for ruining the mood!" Bebe said as she pulled away from Kenny.

Cartman turned his back on the couple. He crossed his arms over his chest and counted the number of cracks in the wall as they dressed. Anything was better to focus on than Kenny and Bebe fucking on a toilet. "You guys are disgusting!"

Kenny zipped up his pants. "Don't be a prude."

Cartman paused for a moment, contemplating the situation. "On the bright side, I can blackmail you with this. I bet our principal wouldn't take kindly to two students boning in the bathroom."

Bebe and Kenny exited the stall. "Just because you're jealous I'm getting laid by the hottest guy in school doesn't mean you can sell us out." Bebe said.

"What?" Cartman reluctantly turned his head to look at them, thankful to find that they were clothed again. "Bebe are you dumb naturally or because you're blonde? Being jealous of you suggests I want to bone Kenny."

"Well yeah. You had sex with Stan so you're gay now right?"

"What! How'd you assholes know about that?"

"Stan told us. Duh." Kenny said.

The blondes turned their backs and washed their hands. Cartman's face became overtaken by shock. Blabbing about their one-night stand to anyone but Kyle or Wendy wasn't part of the plan. The gay skeleton was only supposed to come out of the closet long enough for Kyle and Wendy to find out about it. After that it would be neatly tucked back away forever.

"Fine. I won't tell on you guys if you don't tell on me." Cartman said.

"Deal" Kenny said.

"Speak for yourself."

The boys looked to Bebe.

"You're such an asshole, Cartman. I have half a mind to watch your video with Wendy and describe it to everybody."

Cartman glared at the girl. "Did Stan neglect to tell you the part where Wendy made a porno first? I'm just getting even."

"Yeah, he told us about Wendy's tape. So what? I think you got off easy." Bebe said.

"Hey! I can last just as long as your stupid boyfriend in bed!" Cartman said.

"No, I mean with Wendy's video. She wouldn't have even made it if you hadn't made such a big deal about keeping your stupid porn so you can check out other girls. It's your fault, and that means her video was done to get even. Wendy's a pretty vengeful person. It could have been a lot worse for you."

Cartman scoffed. "How? How could it possibly be worse than fucking my worst enemy right in front of me?"

"Well, if it were me, I'd have had a gangbang with a bunch of guys you can't stand whose dicks I'd make sure were all bigger than yours. Wendy made a good choice with Kyle, but I'd have thrown in Butters and Scott Malkinson and some minorities. That way it's literally everything you can't stand pounding my vag better than you."

"With that many guys they'd probably have to pound your ass too." Kenny pointed out. He was seemingly not even offended by Bebe's group sex scenario. Whether that made him and Bebe a drama-free, trusting couple compared to Cartman and Wendy or an unfeeling couple who didn't care enough about each other was a matter of debate.

"That's true. Oh, and I'd do all the kinky stuff with them that I'd never do with you, Cartman." Bebe said, elaborating on the hypothetical revenge plot.

Cartman stared at her, wide-eyed. "Okay, I definitely won't tell about your dirty bathroom sex. Damn!" Apparently it was best to remain on Bebe's good side.

"Good. And the next time you think about getting back at Wendy, think about why she did what she did in the first place."

Bebe exited the bathroom. Kenny followed behind her, an erection still present inside his pants. Cartman looked himself over in the bathroom's mirror, considering Bebe's words.

/

"Stan!"

Without even bothering to change first Kyle pushed his way through the crowded locker room to get to his best friend. Stan removed his gym uniform and tossed the borrowed clothes into his locker in its place. Stan waved casually at Kyle as he approached. Kyle waved back; while trying to keep his eyes focused above Stan's neck. One by one their classmates exited the locker room, leaving the boys alone to freely discuss what needed to be said.

"Dude, are you okay?" Kyle asked.

Stan raised a concerned eyebrow. Did Kyle know about Cartman's tape already? "Why?" he asked.

"Bebe said you were at Kenny's this morning saying something about Cartman. Wendy and I thought maybe he hurt you."

Stan finished placing on his gym attire. "Oh. No. He just…made me late."

"I noticed. Me and Wendy had to take turns getting out of our classes to go look for you. We've been waiting for you to get here all morning. We tried to skip class altogether but the stupid hall monitor wouldn't let us. How'd fat ass make you late anyway?"

"I don't really want to talk about it. Come on, we've got gym."

Kyle finding out about the tape was inevitable, but this wasn't the right time or place to discuss it. In Stan's opinion there was actually no right time or place to break this kind of news, but Stan knew that he at least wanted to wait until he could find the right words. Or until after school. Whichever came first. He knew that the first image Kyle saw of him as a gay man couldn't be him bent over for Eric Cartman. Then Kyle might not be so tolerant of Stan's lifestyle. No. The news had to somehow come from Stan first. Even if Stan had no shot with Kyle romantically thanks to Wendy, they were still best friends. Besides, if Stan talked about it and really tried to remember the drunken mistake, he might succeed. That was an image Stan definitely didn't want burned into his brain. He closed his locker and turned his back, assuming that Kyle would return to his own locker to change before following him outside.

Instead, Kyle placed a hand on Stan's shoulder. "Come on. What is it? Whatever Cartman did to piss you off, it's just going to keep pissing you off until you talk about it." Based on the concerned frown on his lips, Kyle's relief had apparently faded away.

Now Stan was growing offended. Kyle hadn't even said anything about his relationship with Wendy yet, but he wanted answers? That was hardly fair in Stan's opinion. Why should he be the one to open the door to that conversation? Kyle was Stan's best friend. He should open up first. After all, Cartman's revenge was a reaction to Kyle and Wendy. Still, as Kyle's best friend, Stan knew he should give his buddy the benefit of the doubt. Maybe Kyle just needed someone to push him in the right direction. Get the ball of truth rolling so to speak. Stan could recall many times during their youth when truthfulness wasn't the first thing to come out of his or Kyle's mouths. Stan opened the window of opportunity.

"Kyle? Why would Cartman have wanted to hurt me anyway?"

It was a good question. One Kyle knew he'd have to make up an excuse for. He didn't want to lie to Stan, but it was necessary in this case. At least until after Wendy had gotten back at Cartman and then revealed the truth to him. Once his thirst for blood was gone there'd be no harm in sharing the information with others, but that time hadn't come yet. Kyle recalled the first lunch period's cell phone conversation. Wendy was in the same boat with her best friend. Although she said that she'd 'tell her later' what happened, in the back of his mind Kyle knew that Wendy was too smart and too protective of her reputation to actually do so. No doubt Wendy was counting on Bebe to easily forget the matter by the time she got to school. Or at the very least, a fictitious story had already been conjured up to tell temporarily in place of reality. If Wendy could lie through her teeth like that to people she cared for, Kyle could too. That video was intended for Cartman's eyes and ears only. With the evidence thankfully destroyed no one would believe Cartman even if he tried to tell the world the secret, but others abilities to confirm the student sex tape allegation while Cartman was head-hunting and before the third parties had received the full story would only cause people to get hurt. Therefore the less Stan knew the better. The truth could come out soon enough. And, Kyle hoped, so could he.

"Oh. You know how Cartman is." Kyle explained dismissively.

"Uh-huh. Sure." Stan said skeptically.

The ceiling's florescent lighting reflected against the metallic gray of Kyle's cell phone as Kyle removed it from his pocket.

"What are you doing?" Stan asked.

"I'm going to text Wendy and tell her you're okay."

"No!" Stan said.

"Dude I have to. I told you, she's been just as worried as me about this."

Stan closed his eyes tightly. "Kyle, don't."

Kyle cocked his head to the side; his pointer finger poised over one of his phone's colorful buttons. "Why?"

Stan knew that if the phone went on it would alert Kyle about Cartman's video message. Stupid technology! "Because…Because I said so. Just please don't, okay?"

"Why not? Now I have to turn it on."

"No!"

Stan lunged at Kyle, tackling him to the floor. It wasn't like Kyle's numerous fantasies at all. It was rough and painful, which would have been forgivable were it done at all out of lust, but it wasn't. Instead Stan grabbed the phone, attempting to wrestle it away. Kyle fought back by gripping his communicative device tightly with one hand while his other hand shoved against Stanley's chest. Kyle's head turned to examine his phone. Stan's hand reached under Kyle's chin, forcing his head in another direction. Kyle's thumb communicated with his brain. Recalling the phone's "on" button placement from memory, he warmed up the phone.

"Dude what the hell is your problem? Give me my fucking phone!" Kyle said.

"No!!"

The fight continued. A noise alerted the boys that Kyle had received a new message. Stan's face went pale with fright. He fought harder than ever for the phone's ownership. For only the third time in their lives Stan and Kyle began wrestling around on the floor. For only the second time in their lives the wrestling match was a serious physical fight. And for only the first time during one of their wrestling matches, Stan and Kyle both had to try to not grow hard with all that friction between them and their secret crush. Kyle's digits blindly pressed at his phone's keypad. Stan tried swatting the phone away but Kyle's death grip was too strong. Desperate, Stan grabbed the defenseless phone by the back of its flipped open screen, trying to break it intentionally. He'd buy Kyle a replacement later.

Unfortunately, before he could break the gadget, the video had already begun playing.

The struggle for control of the phone ceased immediately. The boys didn't care enough to continue. Kyle was frozen in shock; Stan frozen in embarrassment. Kyle's head slowly turned to glimpse at the unspeakable horrors that had somehow materialized on his cell phone's display screen. Though Cartman's nude body and some blankets managed to cover most of Stan's body, his face was definitely visible. If there was anything redeeming about the video at all, it was perhaps that Stan' wasn't moaning like Cartman was. Stan was pretty much a starfish; spread out and receiving under the covers without so much as a peep. He was so still Kyle and Stan both took a moment to consider the possibility of sleeping rape, but no way Stan would sleep through anal violation due purely to alcohol, which Stan had previously inspected was all he had ingested that night. Slowly Stan and Kyle returned to their feet. Kyle looked back at Stan with betrayal burning his eyes.

"I'm sorry." Stan said weakly.

"Tell coach I'm fucking sick to my fucking stomach." Kyle replied coldly. He tucked his phone neatly back into his pocket and stormed out on his scheduled gym class through the locker room's entrance. Kyle punched a locker on his way out the door for good measure.

Stan sighed. 'God damn you, Cartman."

Worst of all, Wendy hadn't found out about any of this yet.

It was possible things were about to get even worse.

To Be Continued