Chapter 7

Sully looked up from his wood chopping as he heard the door of the homestead close. Katie stood on the porch looking down at him. Sully had never thought the sight of his daughter would repulse him but each day she did. In the three weeks since they had discovered the terrible truth, Katie's pregnancy had blossomed, not least because Michaela was ensuring that Katie was actually eating the food that she prepared as opposed to pushing it around the plate as Katie had been doing the weeks prior to the discovery. Every day Sully thought of another clue that could have alerted him to the awful predicament they found themselves in, like the time he found Katie vomiting, something which they had both dismissed as Michaela's poor cooking skills, or how Katie had seemed so tired all the time, which he had just attributed to her growing up and reaching the awkward teen years.

"Careful!" he called as Katie started to climb down the porch steps. Katie's growth had resulted in her growing out of all her own clothes with the exception of her nightgowns. Sully feared that she would be like Michaela and carry large, something which he dreaded as much as he enjoyed watching Michaela grow. The lack of clothing that fitted had led Michaela to dig out the two dresses she had had made when expecting Katie. Dresses she had stored just in case they were blessed with another baby, dresses she had almost forgotten about until she had watched her daughter struggle to bring the two sides of her blouses and skirts together. The trouble was that while the Michaela's old dresses were accommodating around the middle they were far too long for Katie even though Michaela was fairly short herself. Worried that his daughter would trip on the hem of the pink dress Sully made his way the steps just in case he would have to catch her.

"Can we go into town?" Katie asked reaching the bottom of the steps and looking up at him hopefully.

"No honey we can't"

"But Ma went" Katie pointed out "and I want to see Joy"

Sully sighed "Your Ma had to organise things at the hospital" He took another deep breath "You can't go see Joy Katie"

"Why not?" Katie whined, she was bored of being stuck in the house. Sully paused for a moment trying to find the right words to explain the situation to his daughter. "It's because people shouldn't see me isn't it?"

"I'm sorry sweetheart"

Sully made to reach for her to pull her into a hug, Katie was fairly unpredictable at the moment one minute shouting the next minute crying and Sully had the feeling that a crying spell was on its way "It's not fair" Katie bleated, throwing her arms up in annoyance. "I can't ride Star. I can't see Joy. I can't go to school. I can't wear my own clothes. I can't bend in the middle"

Sully raised his eyebrows at the last complaint she gave. "Bend in the middle?"

Katie let out a huge dramatic sigh "I used to be able to bend over here" she pointed at where her waist used to be "How much longer have I got to be like this?"

"Your Ma reckons it will be over by early August" Sully told her quietly.

"August, But that's ages away" Katie's face crumpled "It's not fair" with that she turned and stomped up the stairs. Sully slumped onto the steps as she slammed the door. Any other time he would have chastised her for acting childishly, but now she had every right. He just wished he could do the same.

Hank opened the door to Michaela's office even though he had garnered no response from his persistent knocking.

"I said I did not want to be disturbed" Michaela spat harshly without looking up from her books.

"I didn't come to disturb you, just came to give you this" Hank muttered placing a package on her book laden desk. Michaela looked up at him surprised. Hank stifled a gasp, Michaela looked terrible, not that he was very surprised given the situation but he'd just never given thought to the normally stunning woman looking so awful, her skin pale and grey her normally sparkling eyes, dull. "It's for Katie" Hank whispered turning to leave.

"What is it?" she asked softly, cautiously staring at the brown paper wrapped parcel.

"Got a couple of dresses made for her when I was in Denver, figured she would need them, considering what you looked like. The woman said they should minimise" he gulped and looked down at his feet "it" he shuffled awkwardly "Well I'm gonna go get Loren, Fischer's letting him go" he turned to leave.

Calling him back Michaela rose and walked slowly towards him "Thank you Hank"

"It's no bother"

"We know you were only trying to help" Michaela offered her hand to Hank, a small gesture but it was all she could muster in her present frame of mind.

Hank took her outstretched hand, holding it gently in his bony fingers. "Least I could do, seeing as I wasn't there to help when it mattered" he gulped realising what he had just said to Michaela, "Sorry"

"It's not your fault" Michaela pulled her hand out of his grip and crossed back to her desk.

Hank glanced at the texts she had out on her desk, his rudimentary grasp of the written language serving him enough to make out the contents "You trying to figure out if it's going to cause her any problems because of her age?"

Michaela nodded her head "My texts on the subject don't deal with this type of pregnancy."

Hank exhaled sharply "Maybe you should speak to nuns"

"Nuns?"

Hank nodded slowly "They run those Sisters of mercy places for this type of thing"

Michaela's eyes flared "Katie will not be going to..."

Hank held his hand up to stop the beginning of her rant "I know, but they could help." Hank ran his hand through his long hair and shrugged trying to adopt his usual laconic manner for when he exited the room "I better go get the old man before he complains Fischer's ear off"

Michaela nodded thankfully at him "Thank you for being so thoughtful, I'm sure she will love the dresses"

Hank shrugged again "Like I said least I could do, and if Sully wants to go a few rounds"

"Sully doesn't consume liquor"

"I wasn't talking about drinkin'" Hank reached for the door handle "I know how I feel and she ain't my kid. I don't mind acting as the punching bag. Same goes for you"

He opened the door and frowned, Simon Fischer stood eagerly at the door a large file in his hand "Dr Mike" he pushed past Hank "I asked the nurses to come and get me when you were taking visitors"

Michaela sank wearily against her desk "I'm not Simon"

Simon frowned, his eyes darting to Hank who stood motionless at the door "I need to consult with you over Mr Slicker's case"

"I'm not on duty Simon" Michaela whispered tiredly.

Simon persisted opening the file "It's just, his swelling has gone down and there doesn't appear to be any damage to his spinal cord but he is still having trouble moving his left leg or right thigh, there is little hope of his right leg below the knee but..."

Hank watched as Michaela's shoulders sagged; as much as he wanted his longest friend to get better he knew that Michaela was in no way capable of dealing with anything other than her daughter at the present time. Slowly he walked forward and removed the file from Simon's hands "Leave Dr Mike alone. You want someone to consult with than contact a Doctor in Denver"

"But"

"Now Fischer" Hank growled he held his arm out indicating for the other doctor to leave. Reluctantly the young doctor walked out of the room.

"Thank you" Michaela spoke in a barely audible whisper.

"No problem" Hank placed the file on her desk "You should go home" carefully he closed her books straightening her desk and making the decision for her "You need to take care o' yourself. Can't take care of Katie if you carry on like this"

Michaela couldn't help but smile at Katie as she examined herself in the mirror. The dresses that Hank had purchased for Katie were beautiful and did serve to minimise the appearance of the size of her abdomen, just as he had promised.

"Why'd he get them for me?" Katie asked smiling at her reflection as she modelled the dress.

Michaela sighed, Hank had always puzzled her with his kind nature which he kept so well hidden most of the time but she was always thankful of it in times of need "He wanted to do something nice for you"

"It's pretty, the all are" Katie turned in the mirror again.

"You're pretty too" Michaela held out her hand for Katie to join her on the bed.

"I was pretty" Katie looked down at her torso and sighed. "How big will I get?" she tilted her head trying to imagine what she would look like in a few months.

"Well, it depends, all woman are different" Michaela told her gently, she picked up one of the new dresses and held it out, admiring Hank's surprisingly good taste and the seamstresses obvious talent in the design and construction of the dress so that could adapt with the change in body shape.

"How big did you get with me?" Michaela lowered the dress at her daughter's question, She smiled uneasily unsure of how to answer the question without alarming her daughter. Her mind wandered back to the last few months of her pregnancy and her appearance "Big" she finally answered

Katie sank onto the bed beside her mother "Did Mr Lawson get me the dresses because of what we were going to do? Because he was going to take me to get..."

"Katie" Michaela broke her off, not wanting to think of the terrible rain soaked night when they had found out about the pregnancy.

Katie slid closer to Michaela, lifting her mother's arm so she could hook it around her shoulders "I couldn't have one of those?"

"No, you couldn't" the word went unspoken.

"So what's going to happen?" Katie asked resting her head against her mother's shoulder.

"Your father and I have not really discussed the options yet" Michaela softly kissed Katie's head and wrapped her other arm around her daughter, cocooning her with love as if it would protect her from any more harm.

"Are there a lot of options?" Katie asked, glancing down at her stomach as she felt movement within her belly.

Michaela sighed "A few"

"What are they?"

Michaela gently rubbed her hand up and down Katie's arm, "There is adoption" her voice shook as she tried to remain calm "either through an orphanage or Brian and Laura have offered..."

"You told Brian about me?" Katie looked at her mother with surprise "But I thought people weren't supposed to know"

"We've told your siblings, Horace knows because he had to send the messages and ... Grace and Robert E" Michaela stifled a sob.

"I'm sorry this is happening" Katie placed her arms around her mother's neck hugging her "I'm sorry I'm ruining everything"

Michaela blinked back her tears "You're not ruining anything. You are doing very very well" she kissed Katie gently, silently cursing herself for losing her composure when she needed to remain strong for her child.

"So the baby would live in Boston?" Katie returned to her seated position on the bed.

Michaela nodded, quickly wiping her eyes "It's a possibility, Brian and Laura want more children, and as they can't have any more of their own because of Laura's illness..."

"I'd rather the baby lived with them" Katie interrupted "than went and lived with someone we don't know. Then we would know it is OK. I don't want it to get hurt, even if it did get made the wrong way, it's still made from me and I'm not bad" Michaela bit her lip to stop herself from crying. Katie's innocent logic was almost painful to her, a child's mind trying to deal with very adult and complicated issues. "Couldn't you and Pa look after the baby?"

Michaela's mouth dropped open, her daughter's question surprising her. In the late night conversations that she and Sully had have over what would happen to the infant they had not once entertained the notion of themselves raising the baby, most likely because they had naturally assumed that Katie would not want to have to face what had happened to her for the rest of her childhood.

"Ma?"

Michaela inhaled slowly and forced her mouth into a smile "we have plenty of time to decide what we'll do. Why don't you show your father your new dress" Michaela kissed Katie gently and watched as her daughter left the room. As the door closed Michaela raised her hand to her mouth, pressing it firmly against her lips in an attempt to quell the sobs that shook her body.

Sully rolled over, his arm reaching out for Michaela so he could pull her body close to his. His eyes opened as his hand slid across her empty side of the bed. His eyes acclimatised to the dark he could see that he was the only occupant. Troubled, he rose quickly from the bed and exited his room. He spotted his wife almost immediately as she stood leaning against the doorframe of Katie's room. She turned to him as she heard him approach, her eyes laden with water ready to spill across her cheeks at any moment. Wordlessly he wrapped his arms around her, accepting her form against his as she leant backwards on him. Together they took in the sight of their sleeping child, her hands resting gently on the ripening curve of her abdomen, her young face serene. Sleep, the only time she could escape from the nightmare her life had become.