And now the end, it's a very different ending to what I originally wrote but also think it's the most appropriate. Thank you to everyone to sticking this out, I know it has been a difficult story to read(to write also) I really appreciate your time and especially to those who have taken the time to review. I promise that the next thing I write will be back in the normal vein of the show that I am quite rapidly becoming a bit obsessed with, It will be a season 7 type of thing, well thats the plan at the moment and as with everything plans change. But for now the final part of this, I hope you feel it's good enough.
The words of the service are taken from here, I have no idea if it's the correct demonination but I felt the words were very appropriate, so big thank you to whoever hosts the site.
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Thank you for reading
Kate
Chapter 11
Katie smoothed her dress and stared into the mirror a smile forming as she took in her almost normal appearance. After months of bulging so roundly at the middle she was finally looking almost normal, she finally had a waist again. She examined herself closely in the mirror. Even though she was thin again, her body certainly looked different than before, her hips were a little wider and her breasts were large and heavy but her Ma assured her that they would decrease when she finished making the milk she fed Joshua with. She sighed, she was different, but it was a different she could cope with. She looked around at a knock on her door.
"Katie?" Michaela asked opening the door. She smiled at her daughter, "Oh you look very pretty"
"Thank you. Where's Joshua?" Katie asked smoothing her dress one last time and turning away from the mirror.
"He's with your Pa" Michaela held out her hands "I wondered if you would like me to do your hair?"
Katie shook her head "It's alright" she ran her fingers through her hair, it had grown long during her pregnancy and she had done little to it the entire time. She let the long blonde strands fall down her back and sighed.
"What's wrong?" Michaela asked, her nervousness rising, she knew from experience the rush of emotions that came after having a baby, she worried for her daughter just as much as she worried about pushing Katie too hard or taking over too much and making Katie feel inferior. In truth she was just nervous and worried about the whole situation and she struggled to keep the expression off her face.
Katie sighed heavily again, and turned to her mother "Ma?" she paused and exhaled slowly "Ma, even though I've had a baby. I'm still your little girl right?"
Michaela rushed forward and engulfed Katie in her in arms "Of course you are" she kissed Katie repeatedly on her forehead "You will always be my little girl"
Hank looked up at the sound of his name being spoken. "Katie" he nodded at the young girl hovering on the street "How are you?"
"Thinner" she smiled at him
"I can see that" Hank took a drag on his cigar.
"May I ask you a question?" Katie asked nervously fiddling with her dress.
"Mother's daughter, can't stop her, can't stop you" Hank drawled taking a slug from the bottle in his hand.
"What did you do with...um?" Katie asked her voice trailing off before she could finish her sentence.
Hank stared at her shocked that she would care what had happened to the man who had almost destroyed her life. He blinked back his surprise and took another swallow from the bottle before he responded quietly, "Threw him out with the trash"
"Oh" Katie smiled awkwardly "Hank, can I ask you a favour?" she didn't wait for a response "I know you don't go to church, but we're getting Joshua christened today and I would like you to come"
"Sure I won't be a corrupting influence" Hank smirked at her.
Katie shook her head violently, missing Hank's joke "Considering how he got made I reckon you'll be a good influence."
Hank regarded the young girl for a few moments "You having second thoughts"
"No" Katie shook her head, almost too quickly for Hank's liking
"You sure?"
Katie nodded her head and cast a look over her shoulder to where her parents stood near the church with the baby. "I'm sure" Hank raised his eyebrow "I am. It's just, I worry about it, you know, that we might not be good enough to fix the part of him that comes from... you know"
Hank exhaled "That kid is gonna be..." he paused, unsure of how to comfort her fears "I'll come" he held out his arm and Katie took his proffered arm and smiled. Hank looked down at her "Sure are right about you being thinner" he grunted, as Katie elbowed him in the ribs "Easy kid might change my mind"
The Reverend moved towards the small font in the Church he beckoned to the family to approach.
Michaela and Sully followed one step behind Katie as she approached the font carrying Joshua, the little boy dressed in the same Christening gown that she had worn 13 years earlier, the gown made by his grandmother.
At the feeling of a light touch on his arm from Sully the Reverend began the service
"In the Name of the Saviour, we offer this child to the Ministry of the Spirit. In the Name of the Saviour, Who lovest all children, we bring this child to Him; and we ask that He will be his Guide, Counsellor and Friend, to his life's end. Amen." He held his hand out across the water in the font "May the waters of the Spirit mingle with this water, to consecrate this child and keep him pure and holy, to keep him as a child dedicated to Christ. So may this little one answer His call and ever follow in His footsteps, in love, obedience and service. Amen. O Holy Spirit, come now with all Thy gifts, to endure this child, to strengthen and prepare him for the life before him; so that he may be strong in faith, courageous in spirit, and valiant for right; that at last he may hear the loving words: Well done, thou good and faithful servant" The words spoken the Reverend held out his arms for Katie to place Joshua in his arms. The baby situated the Reverend smiled and spoke softly to Katie "Name this child"
Katie took a deep breath "Joshua Byron Hank" she bit her lip, as a murmur passed around the church, she shot a look at Hank and gave him a smile before looking up at her parents, both of whom had raised their eyebrows.
The Reverend smiled and lowered his hand into the font and started to sprinkle the water onto Joshua's forehead. "Joshua Bryon Hank, I Baptise thee in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. We place the Sign of protection and spiritual power - the Sign of the Cross - upon this child…" He traced the cross onto Joshua's forehead "in certainty that he, being held in the glory of Christ's Cross, shall be enabled to live courageously, faithfully and in love. Amen." He handed Joshua back to Katie and raised his arms to the entire congregation "Let us pray. We lift up our hearts in joyful thanksgiving to Thee, O God, our Father, and we thank Thee for the blessing bestowed by Spirit power upon this child. Accept, we pray Thee, our reverent worship and our praise for the mystery of human birth. Give to the family enduring joy and peace in their home; and guide them into wisdom, love and truth in their work of loving service to this child. May God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit guide, protect and keep you, now and always. Amen." He turned to Katie, his sightless eyes finding her blue ones and held her gaze like he could see into her "you have taken part in this sacred dedication of your child to the service of Christ. We pledge you to endeavour, earnestly and in truth, to inspire and teach this little one the Way of Life as taught by Jesus Christ. Let your example and influence guide him to be upright and honourable before all men. Train him in prayer, in worship, in reverence, and in the knowledge and love of God, through Christ, our Lord and Saviour. Amen." The Reverend raised his hands "The peace of God, which passeth all understanding, keep your hearts and minds in the knowledge and love of God, and of His Son Jesus Christ our Lord; and the blessing of God Almighty, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, be amongst you, and remain with you always. Amen."
Hank approached Sully as he stood standing over the grave of his first daughter. Sully turned and the two men regarded each other for a few moments.
"You mad she named him what she did?" Hank asked nervously
Sully shook his head and gave him a wry smile "I got more of an issue with Byron than Hank"
Hank returned the smile and held out his hand to Sully. The two men shook hands, a mutual sense of respect passing silently between them. The two men turned and wordlessly regarded the scene outside the church, the women fussing over the baby in Katie's arms "She's scared you know, about the kid turning out like him"
Sully nodded "I know. But he won't" Hank nodded in understanding and took a step outside of the cemetery. Immediately upon his exit he drew out a cigar and lit it. He took a reassuring drag, inhaling the smoke deep into his lungs. Sully followed Hank beyond the cemetery limit and stood beside him, his hands pushed into his pockets "What did you do with him?"
"You mean once he finished stealing air" Hank exhaled a ring of smoke "I threw him in the garbage heap. Figured it was where he belonged"
Sully took the words in for a few moments his eyes darting in the direction of where the town disposed of its waste
"Katie asked me the same thing" Hank muttered glancing sideways at Sully through his curtain of hair "Figured she wanted to know she was safe"
"Well she is" Sully retorted
Hank gripped Sully's shoulder and pulled the other man back to hold his gaze "Yeah Sully. She is"
Michaela looked up from her vanity as her bedroom door opened. She smiled into the reflection as Katie approached "Is Joshua down?" she asked running her brush through her long hair
"Yep" Katie stepped forward taking the brush from her mother, taking over the task of brushing the long locks "You have pretty hair"
Michaela regarded her appearance in the mirror, her eyes studying her long hair "It's very grey" she sighed with resignation.
"I think I helped it turn" she paused as Michaela reached and touched her arm "I love you Ma"
"I love you too" Michaela pivoted in her seat and drew Katie onto her lap "It feels good to hold you like this again"
Katie smiled and leant into Michaela, her cheek resting onto Michaela's shoulder "It feels good to be held like this. Now that I won't crush your knees" Both women looked up at the sound of Joshua wailing slightly from Katie's room, they waited and the baby quietened. "Ma, you think the words that got said today will be enough?"
Michaela pondered her daughter's question and then slowly nodded. She kissed Katie gently, her eyes filling with tears. "I think that Joshua is going to be fine, because we will love him and guide him and teach him."
"And that will be enough. He won't do anything..."
Michaela pressed her finger against Katie's lips "Katie I cannot promise you that, I don't know what will happen, no one does. If I could see the future then you would not have been through what you have. All I can promise you is that I will always love you. And I promise if you decide that this isn't the right arrangement for you I will help you find the right one"
"I want him" Katie leant her head back onto Michaela's shoulder, their faces side by side, Michaela moving in a gentle swaying movement, rocking both of them in perfect harmony "I don't understand it, I thought I would hate him, because of how he was made. But I don't. I love him. And I want him." Katie took a deep breath and smiled at the reflection in the mirror "I'm scared"
Michaela pressed her lips against Katie's temple, kissing her softly she rocked her daughter trying to retain the brief emergence of Katie's innocence for as long as she could "You are allowed to be, I was scared when I had you" She smiled, soothingly stroking Katie's blonde hair "It's normal"
Katie bit her lip and stared through the mirror at her mother "Normal" she smiled weakly, a look shared by her mother, a look which communed that they both knew that normal would never really apply to their family again.
The baby stirred slightly, his cover shifting and his arms waving free in the early September air. Katie rolled over onto her side and watched as his little arms waved in the dappled moonlight that filtered in from the full moon outside. Quickly she moved to the side of the crib and dropped to her knees, her head the same level as the mattress that Joshua lay upon. She sat motionless her eyes fixed on her son's head, on his dark brown tufty hair; Joshua's hair was the one thing she could tell was from him. She reached her hand through the bars of the crib, reaching for his soft skin, she ran her finger down his cheek, and smiled as Joshua's squirmed with delight. It was moments like these that she felt like she could do this, felt like she could be this little boy's mother, she could be who he needed, at least she hoped she could.
She moved her hand down the crib and tenderly rubbed the little boy's belly, it seemed so strange to her that only a few months ago this baby had been in her and when she had held him that first day he had seemed so small, now he was growing every day, thriving, under her care. When she had first asked if he could stay in Colorado Springs, she had expected that her mother and father would take on the roles of parents and she would be his big sister, but it wasn't the way it had happened, and that had been her decision, every time something was to be done, feed him, change him, bathe him, the words from her mother and father had always been 'if you want to' and she had wanted to. She wanted to do things for him, wanted to be near him. It was why he slept in her room, even though she given the reason of practicality when it came to feeding at night, in reality she liked being able to hear every noise he made, strangely it comforted her. She smiled to herself as Joshua's eyes closed apparently falling back to sleep. She had thought she would never be able to do it, but she was, even though that sometimes she was so terrified it hurt. There was so much to be afraid of, that she would do something wrong, that Joshua would get hurt, that he would turn out wrong like Harrison had been.
Suddenly the baby turned his head, surprising her with his wide awake expression, his bright blue eyes visible in the moonlight. His eyes seeming to fix on her, it was almost as if she was staring into her father's eyes or her own blue eyes reflected back at her from a mirror. Katie and her son regarding each other with their identical eyes, she knew that his age meant he would not be able to see her clearly but in that moment it felt like he was looking into her soul, and she into his. He could see her fear and love and she could see into his pure heart, a heart ready to be moulded by those around him, not who he was made from.
The End