Chapter 6

"Let Go"

"You Isabella Swan," her voice dripping with false sweetness, "are simply infuriating."

I stepped back and she stepped forward.

I decided then that Leah was ten times scarier than Paul. Leah didn't have an imprint holding her back.

Seth scurried out his seat and hurried over. By then I was pressed against the car, and Leah was leaning into me. She had to be at least six foot.

"Leah this is not the time," Seth grabbed her arm but she shrugged him off, moving away enough for me to draw a ragged breath.

She turned to him with fire in her eyes.

"Go home," he seemed to shrink a couple of inches. She turned to Billy's house and eyed Rachel and Paul.

"Go inside, you're dying to anyway," she barked. Paul flipped her the bird but the door slammed shut seconds later.

I turned my pleading eyes to Seth but he was looking away, hands stuffed into his pockets.

I was on my own.

"Leah," I started swallowing but she threw her fist into the car, inches from my head.

"I talk. You listen," her growl pierced through me. I nodded a couple of times, and I felt tears prick into my eyes.

"Don't cry either." I wiped my face quickly.

"Tell me," her voice purred again, "Did you have fun?"

"H-huh?"

"I asked, did you have fun?"

"Doing what?" she was so close my voice only came out a squeak.

"Slumming it." Her eyes hardened, "Because that's what you were doing with us right?"

I felt another imaginary kick to my gut. "No Leah, it was nothing like that."

"Then tell me what it was. Listen to a few ghost stories, enchant a local, have a laugh? Just bide your time until your cold prince returned?"

"Come on Leah, that's enough," Seth whispered, but his eyes were hurt too. I wondered if that was what they all thought about me.

"No," Leah didn't turn to him, "I want to know."

"I love Jake," I croaked out. Her frown deepened.

"Sure you do," she pulled away and kicked at the ground viciously. I didn't miss the sarcasm.

"You know," she started to pace, "I'll never understand what people consider love." She spit on the ground like the word disgusted her.

"You love with half a heart. You don't even know what it means, or how it feels," she threw her blazing eyes my way, "You stumble into it without even knowing, and then think you can just reverse the effects."

"Did you ever stop once and question how it felt to be on the other end?" I nod and feel the tears coming back again.

"I said don't cry!" I wipe my eyes.

She stopped and crossed her arms. "I don't like you."

Seth snorted, "You don't like anybody,"

"Yeah well," she looked back at me, "I have a special dislike for her."

"Why?" I managed.

"Because you're weak." I flinch, even though I'm not sure exactly what she meant by that. Not everybody can be a wolf.

As if she knew what I was thinking she smiled a very dark smile, "In heart, Bella. I could forgive your puny frame and even the pale skin, but I could never forgive how damn weak you are inside."

That hurt.

"Every other human in existence runs from vampires, and you run to them. Seduced by candy breath and a pretty face," she scowled deeply. "And when one of them dumps you, you fall apart."

"Leah," Seth's voice was a warning but she continued on.

"You have no fight and no fire. You don't know how to stand alone. You don't know how to be yourself without belonging to somebody," her voice began to quiet down, but the words didn't lose their edge, "You don't even know who the hell you are, or what you stand for. So why should I believe, for a second, that you know you're here for Jacob."

She stared at me. Into me. I searched for the answer too, but the truth of her words started to dig under my skin. I felt my conscious question my feelings, taunting me.

My mouth opened, almost without my knowledge, "Don't take your bitterness out on me. Love burned you. That doesn't give you the right to question how I feel."

I regretted my words instantly. Leah's slammed me against my car, and I knew my shoulders would bruise.

"Don't you ever, ever presume you know me," she snarled. I struggled against her, but it was like fighting a wall. Her grip tightened, and I struggled harder, violently against her.

Seth grabbed her arm but she shoved him to the ground.

She was growling at me, vibrating. I panicked, fearing she'd mar me like Sam did to Emily.

And then I felt horrible for thinking of Emily that way.

I slammed my booted foot down on her bare feet and she gasped and loosened up just enough for me to escape her grasp.

Seth stepped between us as I gasped for air. My anger wrapped around me.

"I know who I am, Leah," I shouted rubbing my arms.

"No you don't. Your parents defined you, and now men do," she shrugged Seth off again and I realized she had broken his nose at some point. Blood was dripping down the front of his shirt and that enraged me further.

"You hurt him!" I stepped forward.

"You don't give a damn about us. After you broke Jacob's heart, while he was healing from a fight you caused by the way, you didn't come back. You don't care about him. You don't care about the pack. If you did, you would've never left."

"I'm here now."

"A day late, and a dollar short," she pushed Seth a final time, glaring down on her brother.

"I have to be in his head. I have to mourn what he mourns. I have to hurt when he's hurt. I have to love what he loves," she closed the space between us again but I was no longer afraid.

"You left a bloodied mess behind, and now you want to finish him off."

"I want to talk to him. Where it goes after that is none of your business."

"He doesn't want to talk to you."

"He can tell me that himself."

Her hands clenched, "So what, he's supposed to take you back?" she racked her eyes over me cruelly, "The sloppy seconds of a stinking vampire?"

I raised my chin and fisted my fingers, "He can do whatever he wants."

She studied me for a minute, the malice never leaving her eyes. My heart was pounding, and I knew the moment my anger drained I was going to be a crying all over my steering wheel.

"I've been dreaming about you,"

That shocked both Seth and I.

"Because Jacob dreams about you," she stepped back and leaned against my car door. "He's so lovesick I can't stand it. Despite the wedding and you wanting to turn into one of those things yourself."

"I changed my mind," I whisper through clenched teeth but she just snorts.

"Yeah well, you're an idiot either way," and she threw her head back and howled. Seth jumped and so did I. Leah's laugh was scary as hell.

"I don't get what he sees in you. It's some kind of childhood crush gone wrong."

I wondered the same thing most days.

"But if it stops him from moping around….." Seth and I stared at her with huge eyes. Was she really going to shut up and let me see him?

A giddy feeling bubbled up and my chest and threatened to take over.

"Look, he's 17. Barely out of puberty. He's a a stupid, horny, angry, angst ridden, hormonal teenager. And on top of all that madness he turns into a wolf. He's not decades old like your bloodsucker friends. He's just a kid that loves more than he should be capable of." Leah looked at me like I was missing an important piece of a puzzle. I stared back, dumbfounded.

"He can't handle your silly indecision. And my head is fucked up enough to be in without having to be in his too. I'm sick of it. If you're here, it's because you don't plan on going back, ever. Do you understand?"

I nod, mostly because I don't have words to describe my feelings. As big a bitch Leah was, she made all the sense in the world.

"I hope he grows some balls and tells you to piss off." She growled before pushing herself off my car.

"I'm sorry Leah," I whisper. Her eyes narrow.

"For what."

"For leaving all of you," she just looked at me for a second before turning away.

"Save your apologies for Jacob." But it looked as if I struck a nerve.

Seth kept a wary eye on her as he climbed back into the car.

My mind was slowly processing everything Leah had said. As she watched me, still scowling, I had a sudden, crazy, and suicidal urge.

I lunged and hugged Leah Clearwater. She choked, spluttered and pushed me away, but I was grinning when I stepped back.

"Get out of here," she grumbled, but she no longer looked as angry as before.

"Sure," I climbed inside. Seth shook his head at me but I pulled him into a hug too.

"I'm so sorry Seth," he happily hugged me back. I felt his whole body relax. I wasn't going to cry anymore, but I resolved that even if Jake didn't want me, even if I had to let him go too and be alone….I'd never abandon my friends again.

"It's ok," he whispered holding me close, "I'm just glad you're back."

I smiled against his soft hair. "Yeah, me too."

First off, thank you so much to AugustFirst for sending this chapter on a way, way, WAY, better path than it was headed. I let Bella off the hook too easily at first, and when I rewrote this chapter I felt Leah was better in tune with her inner cow. So AugustFirst...YOU ROCK!

Mzmanda my love, thank you for liking Edward. I'll never choose him over Jacob, but I won't make him some super villian either.

Cydney94, I agree with you, it needs some Jake and Bella action. It's coming. Review wise, I'm pretty happy. I like reviews because I enjoy the conversation. My degree is in nursing, not writing, and the critiques I get here are extremely valuable and they make me smile like crazy.

Thank you guys for reviewing. You're irreplaceable.

And don't worry, Jake is next. Check out my other Jake/Bella fic Closer if you can. It's dark. Jacob is a jerk, but I'm proud of it.

Leave a review. ^_^ Much love.