Draco's POV

Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit! I-I left the book! Shit shit fuck shit damn! He's smart enough to figure it out from there! I groan, and it turns into a sob.

"Stupid, stupid, STUPID!" I yell at myself through tears, whipping around to face the window. I lean my arm against the wall above the glass, and place my forehead on it. It's almost Christmas, I realize with a sigh. I'll have to go back to the Manor for the holiday. Father will be angry with me if I don't. The thought makes me cringe. I can't afford to make him angry again.

I wipe my nose on the back of my hand, making an unattractive sucking noise as I do. Part of me pulls to go back and get the book. Another part of me argues that if I do, Ron will most likely be there. I make a small whining sound. If he's there, he'll want to talk. I want to talk to him, yet I don't want to get anywhere near him. I want to get my book back, yet I think I might be better off without it. It's what's been making me crazy lately, anyway.

Stupid fucking book. Pick one person and smile at them when you see them. It will show that you trust them, and they'll want to listen. Some advice that was.

What if I did say something? Would he listen? I honestly don't know how to answer my own questions. Why had I picked him anyway? I can't remember. Probably those Weasley freckles. I had envied them as a child.

I run my left hand through my hair, finding no knots, as usual. I still have my forearm leaning against the wall as I use my left hand to start loosening my tie. Oh, well, I decide with a shaky sigh. There's nothing I can do about Ron right now. I pull off my tie, and it's quickly followed by my wool pull over. I walk towards my bed as I un-button my shirt and start to toe off my shoes. I've got to get some sleep before I go back to the Manor. I haven't been able to sleep there since last June.

My shoes and shirt lay in a heap on the floor, and soon my socks and trousers join them. I burrow myself securely under the covers, pulling all of the blankets over me. I'm not sure where the other boys that share this dorm with me are, but I don't care. It's quiet now; the only sound the soft fire glowing in the middle of the room, sending a golden orange glow across my face and under my eye lids when I close them. It doesn't take long for me to fall asleep at Hogwarts, but even here I can't escape my nightmares.

It had been going on for a few weeks. The summer night air floated through the rooms, down the halls, making everything uncomfortably humid. My mother was off with her friends, drowning herself in red wine, I was sure. I had gotten so used to what was going on that I had stopped trying to resist. If I did, it would only create more problems for me.

He sat in the chair he had put in my room, his hair hanging over his shoulders and his fingertips thrumming together. He was stark naked and half hard. I stood a few feet off, my hands folded in front of me, the only cover I had from his cold eyes other than the black collar he had given me. It had a tag; a perfect silver circle, clean of any engravings or marks. My head hang, hair covering my downward gazing eyes.

After what felt like hours of him staring, I was amazed I didn't have marks on my skin from the way his eyes raked up and down me. Finally, he patted his lap and said, "Come to Daddy, pet."

I took a few steps forward timidly; afraid of what he had planned.

Bad idea.

He growled. "I said… Come to Daddy, pet."

I did as he said this time, climbing into his lap like he had taught me.

"Next time you will not receive a second chance." His voice was frozen, and as he spoke he held the tag of my collar, pressing his thumb flat against the front and tugging at it rather harshly.

I yelped a little when he did, but quickly hushed myself. "D-deepest apologizes, sire," I barely managed to whisper.

"Apologizes aren't good enough."

He moved his hand quickly, wrapping it around my tiny neck just below my jaw bone and squeezing hard.

I felt my eyes widen and my mouth fell open. I gasped liked a fish out of water. I couldn't breathe! My first instinct was to fight back. I put both my hands around his wrist, trying to pull myself away from him or push him away. He was holding too tight and it hurthurthurt! I started chocking, fighting like a panicked rabbit to get away. The whole time all I could see were those eyes, so much like my own, and his sick smirk.

The sound of the ocean pumped through my ears and my muscles ached as the corners of my vision had started to go a blurry black before he let me go with a shove. I landed hard on the carpeted floor, coughing and gagging while oxygen flooded me again. My hand went to my neck in shock as tears began to brim my eyes.

I looked up to see him touching himself while he looked down at me. He was hard as a rock and weeping, discolored with restraint. His long fingers danced over the hardened flesh and I could see him quivering with excitement. When he spoke, I could hear it in his drawl.

"Now… Are you going to behave yourself?"

I nodded limply, my mouth open in near disbelief as tears begun to roll down my cheeks.

"Then hands and knees. Now!"

I did exactly as I was told, and soon I could feel him standing on his knees behind me. He placed those frigid hands on my hips before pushing in me dry. Lightning bolts of pain shot through me and I screamed.

I wake up in a cold sweat, breathing hard like I've just run a marathon. My hair is tossed and plastered against the back of my neck. I'm sitting up, and I'm not sure how I got like that. I see Blaise watching me a few beds over. All he can do is shake his head.

"You need help, Malfoy. I can't sleep with you screaming in your sleep like that anymore. It's getting old. Grow up some."

He lies back down with a huff, but I stay as I am. How much longer can I live through this? The other boys already expect something is wrong, and some of them sleep with silencing charms around their beds. Would it kill them to see what's right in front of them? This thought makes me think of Ron, and I want to cry.