Author's Notes: Again, special thanks to my Nea for helping me. ^ ^

Draco's POV

I sit down in the cabin with a huff of air, smiling and buzzing like an idiot. Ron's so sweet! I think fondly as I wait for him; he had gone to get something from Harry. I run my hand through my hair, twisting it around my finger. When I realize what I'm doing, I hurriedly put my hand back in my lap; it's such a feminine thing to do, but it's a habit for me. Now I know why girls are always playing with their hair if it's long; you don't realize you're doing it.

But the reason I'm so ashamed of the femininity of it is because I am, in fact, a homosexual. If word were ever to get out, my life would be altered completely, so I keep it under wraps. For this reason, I am unbelievably jealous of Lupin and Black; they're so happily out with everyone. They live together at Hogwarts; walk around hand in hand, kissing in public and not thinking a thing of it. I long so desperately to be able to live like them; open with the fact that I long for a man's love.

It goes without saying that I do not enjoy the things my father does to me. Do not think poorly of me, because what he does is not pleasurable. He's awful and cruel and he hurts me. That's not love.

I've known about my sexuality for years, fantasizing about men underneath my sheets at night. I'd dreamed of sucking them off, pushing them back against a wall and taking the delicious, heavy heat into my mouth while I work myself as well. I can't tell you how many wet dreams I've had in my life time; waking up with heavy breathing and sticking to my sheets from sweat and, more often than not, some other form of bodily fluid. Never once have I looked at a girl and been able to see myself with her intimately, but the men, oh all the men I've wanted. Needed. Craved. Obsessed over so heavily that I've nearly driven myself mad. But never once have I dared to let these desires and feelings show.

I glance out the window, a slight smile on my face as I think about Ron. He's so sweet to me; not pressing matters that I didn't want to speak about, trying so hard not to frighten me or make me feel uncomfortable. Not to mention the fact that he had aged so well. He had grown in to a perfect Weasley; tall and muscular from years of Quidditch, creamy skin covered in freckles. With a flare in my stomach, I wonder how much of him is freckled underneath his clothes; if he has any secret, bare, unmarked place that I could find and make mine.

Abruptly, my expression changes. Is he- Could he possibly- No, there's no way. I couldn't be that lucky. Surely he's with Granger, or has been in the past.

I don't have time to dwell too much more on these thoughts, though, because Ron's back. He smiles and sits down across from me, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees to fumble with his bag. "Sorry that took so long. Harry and the lot were teasing me."

"Oh?" I ask. "What were they making fun of you for?"

My question makes him turn red, something I realize I'm rapidly becoming addicted to doing, and he starts fiddling with the straps on his bag more attentively. "Oh, uh." He clears his throat. "N-nothing terribly important. You wouldn't be interested. It's kind of embarrassing, actually."

This sparks my curiosity, and instantly I'm wriggling forward in my seat. "Ooooh, now you've got to tell me," I say, eyes glittering and mouth grinning.

He glances up, giving me a crooked half-smile. "No, honestly, it's very embarrassing."

I groan at him, and playfully shove his shoulder. "Come on! If you tell me, I'll tell you a secret, too!" I hope this will persuade him, and luckily, it does.

"Okay, fine," he laughs, but then slowly his face changes from amused to slightly scared. "Please promise you won't think differently of me. Promise."

I blink at him, eyebrows pulled down in confusion. "I-I promise," I said, not knowing exactly why this was necessary but going along with it anyway.

Ron looks at his bag, redder than I thought possible, and he hesitates. I don't press him; giving him time seems like the right thing to do. "They were teasing me because I got an owl this morning from my ex-boyfriend."

Thu-dumb. I feel my eyes widen without me telling them to. Boyfriend? As in male? I'm silent for a moment, but when I realize that this might give Ron the wrong impression, I start smiling, and lean back in my chair, crossing my legs and putting my arms up on the back of the seat. I can't help the few small laughs that escape me.

"My, my, Ron. It seems you and I have more in common than I thought."

He glances up at me. "Oh?" is all he can say, giving me a knowing and understanding look.

I can only nod.

Now he smiles, leaning back in his seat as well. He looks at me for a few long moments, and I stare right back. I watch his expression change into a devilish grin. "Who would have thought…? A flaming Malfoy."

I swallow the chuckle that works its way up my throat, thinking instantly of my father. "Yes," I say, trying desperately to cover up the humor I find in this. "Who would have thought?"

We are both quiet for a moment, just looking at each other, hardly breaking eye contact. Almost at the same time, we both seem to realize how much we stare at each other, and we break into a fit of giggles.

"So?" I say enthusiastically once I'm able to talk again. "Are you going to tell me about this old flame or not?"

He blushes a little again. "Well, do you honestly want to know?"

I give him a hard look that makes the obvious answer even more apparent.

"Okay, okay!" he laughs. "Well, do you remember Oliver Wood?"

I go wide-eyed with a huge grin. "Wood? You went out with Wood?"

With a playful roll of his eyes, he nods. "Yeah, starting about 4 months before his graduation."

"That's so sweet!" I almost squeal, wiggling my hips excitedly. "Did you two stay together after he had to leave?"

He seems almost eager to tell someone about the rest, as if he'd never been able to talk to someone about it before. "We tried to. All summer long we snuck out together and it was so much fun. But my leaving for school again made it hard for us to see each other. Also, he had work, and it just didn't seem to be working after a while. We sort of drifted. And I mean, come on. I was a fourth year, and he was already an adult. I didn't want to tie him down, you know? He was at the prime of his life, and I didn't want to keep him from having fun. Does that make any sense?"

I nod, my smile gone with a more sympathetic look."That's actually rather sad."

Ron looks downward for a moment before looking out the window at the passing scenery. "You're right. I still think about him sometimes. You know… about what all could have happened." He opens his mouth again to say something else, but closes it, and doesn't say anything else.

I hesitate to give him time in case he changes his mind. "You shouldn't let it make you sad, though, Ron," I say, not knowing what else to do.

He looks back at me for a moment before getting up. He sits down again next to me, putting himself between me and the window. I'm confused, but I can't ignore the flutter of feelings in my stomach at how close he is to me. His right leg and my left are almost pressed together, and his shoulder is leaning on mine with just the right amount of pressure. I can smell him, I realize, and inhale. He smells like grass or hay, and some sort of soft cologne that makes me want to shiver. I am so consumed in my thoughts I nearly jump when he speaks.

"The letter… He wrote to tell me that he's getting married. To… to a girl." He's quiet for a long time, and I don't dare speak. Finally, he breaks the silence, but is looking out the window. "Draco… do I have the right to feel betrayed?"

I honestly don't know how to answer him, so, I say, "I'm not sure. It's been a few years, but I honestly wouldn't know. It does seem a little off, if you ask me, though."

He nods, still looking out the window. "Thanks. I just wanted to see what you thought." I watch him as he watches the land, and pretty soon I see his eyes begin to drift closed. His breathing slows and pretty soon, I can tell he's asleep. I watch him in fascination, unable to take my eyes away even for a second as he dreams. After an hour passes, however, he stirs in his sleep, twisting and putting his head on my shoulder that's closer to him, and placing his hand on the other, hanging his arm from it. I look down wide-eyed, feeling an odd sensation in the base of my stomach and the tops of my legs.

He stays like this until the train whistles loudly, and he jolts awake with a gasp. When he realizes where he is, he rubs his eye. "Sorry… I didn't mean to-"

"No," I say immediately. "It's fine, trust me."

He looks at me, sleep still present in his gaze, and smiles. We chat a little before the train comes to a stop, and reality comes back to me with a snap.

"I've got to go meet my father," I say as soon as we stop moving, and stand up. "I'll see you after holiday, I hope."

Ron smiles. "I hope so, too." He pulls me into a soft hug, and I stop breathing for a moment. When he lets go, he says, "Want to ride back with me?"

I grin hopefully. "Sure! Send me an owl over the break, okay? I've really got to go. Thanks for the ride. It was really nice." I walk out, but wave after I'm out of the door. As I scurry off to find my trunk, I hear him open the door to watch me walk off and call,

"Happy Christmas, Draco!"