Disclaimer: Harry Potter, nor any of its characters do not belong to me.

A/n: I have gone through and edited chapters one through four. I have added a little more detail to each chapter, but it won't affect your understanding of the story if you do not go back and reread the chapters.

Chapter Five: To Write a Letter

Sirius stared down at the blank parchment in front of him. He had tried for two days to write back to Remus, but he never got past his old friend's nickname. He knew what he wanted to say to Remus, but he couldn't find the way to phrase it. Remus thought he was guilty of the crimes that Peter committed and it would take a lot to convince him otherwise. If he had any chance of proving his innocence to Remus, he needed to start in this letter.

Sighing, Sirius looked down at the floor where Harry was building a tower with his blocks. The boy was an absolute mess. Harry had gotten him up at the crack of dawn, and after a quick breakfast, Harry had expressed that he wanted to go outside. Sirius knew that Harry needed to go outside. The boy needed some fresh air, but there wasn't anything that he could do. Sirius was not allowed outside of the makeshift house. Harry needed to go out into the wizarding world where he could enjoy the things that other children his age enjoyed. Sirius wished that he could take him to the park, and teach him to fly outdoors, but he knew he would never be able to do so. Instead, Sirius took the little hovering broom that the Ministry had provided and told Harry that they would be flying indoors today.

Harry had loved the broom. He kept crying out in joy as it raced around the room as Sirius watched from the couch. Harry was a natural on the broom. One day Sirius knew that Harry would be an excellent quidditch star. Possibly even better than his father.

Around lunch time, Sirius had taken Harry off the broom and attempted to feed him his lunch. Harry, it seemed wanted to play rather than eat. Every couple of bites, Harry would spit his food back into Sirius' face, always laughing at the expressions his godfather would make. Sirius knew that he shouldn't encourage the boy, but he couldn't help it. If spitting his food back at his godfather made Harry happy, then so be it. When the plate of baby food was finally gone and both boys covered in baby food, Sirius cleaned himself and sat down to try and write a response to Remus. Leaving the task incomplete, Sirius decided that he might as well bathe Harry then send him off for a nap.

Filling the kitchen sink with water, Sirius was headed towards the kitchen with Harry in his arms when there was a sudden bang as the door to the house was thrown open and a Ministry official barged in.

"Stop, Black!" The small man yelled, his wand pointed at Sirius. "Put Harry down! You don't want to do this!"

"I don't want to give my godson a bath?" Sirius asked, bewildered. Why didn't the Ministry want him to give his godson a bath. "Does the Ministry want Harry to grow up stinking?

"A bath? I…I… thought you were going…" The man stuttered looking at the sink of water the back Sirius's arms, where Harry laid quietly.

Mimicking the man, Sirius looked at the sink and then to Harry, finally understanding what the man thought he was about to do.

"You thought I was going to drown my godson! You thought I was going to kill Harry? How many times do I have to tell you people? I am not a murderer! I didn't kill anyone and I will most certainly never kill Harry! I would never harm my godson. He has gone through enough pain in his short life!" Sirius yelled, as the official backed up and out the door. If Harry Potter wasn't in any danger, then he wanted to be nowhere close to the crazy Black.

Hearing Harry start to cry softly, Sirius held him close, softly rocking him.

"It's ok, Harry. I didn't mean to yell. Nobody is going to hurt you. Those men out there are just incompetent idiots." Sirius soothed as he slowly undressed Harry for his bath.

Once inside the water, Harry giggled with joy as he slapped the water, sending bubbles up into the air and often into Sirius' face. Sirius loved watching Harry in moments like these. He loved seeing Harry happy. His happiness gave Sirius the hope that even though Harry would grow up in Azkaban, he could still live a normal happy life.

Noticing Harry's drooping eyes, Sirius got him cleaned quickly and into his pajamas. Sirius rocked him slowly and began singing the lullaby Harry had fallen asleep to every night since he had arrived in Azkaban.

"Ma! Da!" Harry cried softly shortly before falling asleep.

"I miss them too, Harry." Sirius whispered softly as he laid a sleeping Harry into his crib. Picking up the small picture of James and Lily, Sirius gazed at is sadly before placing it in Harry's arms, who instantly brought it close to his chest.

-x-

Making his way back to the table, Sirius was determined to complete his letter to Remus. The letter will never be perfect. There will always be something that he can not phrase correctly, but the longer he waited, the longer it would take for Remus to believe him. If he ever wanted Remus to believe him, he needed to stop thinking and just write whatever came to his mind.

-x-

Remus was sitting on the sofa in his living room, a glass of fire whiskey on the table in front of him, when a brown Ministry owl arrived at his window.

He quickly let the owl enter, giving him a small treat before untying the letter from the owls foot. He watched as the owl flew away before looking down at the letter before him. Noticing the handwriting on the outside of the letter, a wave of pain went through Remus. He had written to Sirius to vent his frustrations. He had never expected Sirius to write back. He hadn't thought that Sirius would even be able to get an owl to deliver a letter.

Remus made his way back to his chair before he even thought of opening the letter. He didn't know what Sirius was going to say, but he knew that he would be better off sitting than standing when he read the letter. He never knew what to expect with Sirius.

Dear Moony,

When I got your letter I avoided it. I knew what you were going to say before I read it and the pain that those words would bring caused me to let your letter sit alone on my table for three days.

I'm not the man that you think I am. I loved Lily and James. I loved that family that they provided for me. They were my family. James was my brother, just as you still are my brother. I know that you may hate me for what you think I have done, but I still love you as a brother Remus. We went through so much together and I just hope that one day you will believe I am innocent.

I was not Lily and James' secret keeper. They gave me the honor, but I asked them to switch to Peter. It was the perfect idea. Everyone knew how close James and I were. It would be obvious that he would choose me to keep their secret. Nobody would ever think that he would have chosen poor, quiet little Peter.

It was Peter that betrayed our friends and it was Peter that killed all those muggles. He isn't dead, Moony. He's still out there. He blasted off his own pinky and then changed himself into a rat. He tricked everyone.

I know that you don't want to believe me. Hell, you probably think I'm just trying to fool you again, but at least consider my side of the story. I loved James. James was the best thing that ever happened to me. I would rather have died than giving up his location.

As for Harry, I can't give up custody of him. He is the only part of James that I have left and he's the only one in this world that loves me now. I need him Remus. I need him just as much as he needs me. I will never harm him. If I ever hurt him, I would give up custody instantly.

There are things that Harry can't do in Azkaban though. Today he wanted to go outside. I know he needs to go outside, Remus. He can't stay cooped up in this little house forever. He needs the fresh air.

I need your help, Remus. I need your help raising Harry. I can't take him outside, and I definitely can't take him off this island. You can though, Moony. You could take Harry at least once a week. He could go outside and he could meet other children his age. I want you to be part of hi life, Remus. He needs to know that there is more than just me loving him.

He cries out for Lily and James sometimes. He wants his parents and I don't know how to explain to him that they aren't coming back. I didn't kill them, Moony. I might as well have though when I told them to switch secret keepers. I feel so guilty whenever he calls out for one of them. I don't know what to do anymore, Remus. Please help me, Moony.

I'm not a murderer. I'm your brother. I have never shown any signs of interest in dark magic. I have always detested it. I am nothing like my family and I have always taken pride in that. Please think back to our Hogwarts day. Remember the little prankster that I was. I'm still that boy. Please, Moony, at least consider what I have written.

Your Brother Always,

Sirius Black

Finishing the letter, Remus didn't know what to think. Sirius never was evil, but neither was Peter. He would do what Sirius had asked, he would consider Sirius's side of the story, but he would need some more evidence before he believe Sirius's innocence.

Now though, there was something he needed to do. Sirius had agreed to allow him into Harry's life. He hadn't seen Harry in over a month. It was time he went to visit his late friend's only son and the man that could possibly still be his remaining brother.

A/n: Well there is chapter five. I'm not sure if I really like it, but it will have to do. Please review and let me know what you thought.