This was not at all where I had planned on going with this, I hadn't even intended for this to be from her perspective but the ball got rolling and it turned into a monster. I adore writing Jessi and she was talking to me hard in this chapter. Please take a moment and hit the button and tell me what you think of the update.
The move had been the right thing to do. Since the moment the plane had crossed the Mississippi she had known it was the right choice.
There had been pangs, she had missed the sort of friends and quasi family she had integrated with, but ultimately they had done without her and she was learning to do fine without them.
Actually she had been pretty much the same, quiet introverted, still the smartest person in the room; but there were no hidden looks, no frowns of concern.
If people thought she was odd it was no stranger than the guy who counted the pigeons who landed on the eve of the roof of the graduate library. Here she was just Jessi, quiet, smart Jessi.
And it was absolutely wonderful.
She walked across the empty quad a book in one hand, a hot tea in the other, she felt the earth beneath her feet and the beginning of fall in the air; everything was as it should be, and it crept across her.
That energy, the spark of life, she would know it anywhere. Her feet rooted to the spot she had looked around frantically, he was here, he had to be, and there was no other explanation for it. No one else had ever given her that tug in her stomach, that pull.
And while she might have been the quiet girl, she was attractive enough to have caught the interest of one or two brave upperclassmen and while they had been nice, none of them had given her a fraction of what she was feeling at that moment.
His name had slipped from her lips once, it had felt strange coming from her lips, and it had been weeks since she had said it aloud. It was still her favorite set of syllables.
In a blink he had been standing in front of her, fifteen feet separated them, she had been grateful for the space. He had looked different, his eyes darker, his face covered in an unfamiliar 5 o'clock shadow.
Kyle, here on her east coast, it had been slow to process. And when it had hit she had turned on her heel and walked away.
He had not followed.
Not risking a confrontation at her dorm room she had hidden in the stacks of the undergraduate library. When he had not pursued her, she had thought maybe she had imagined the whole thing.
Until her first class the next day and he had been sitting in the last row, third seat from the aisle. With his pen poised and laptop open he looked like any other first year.
Except he was so much more, she had taken her customary seat, four rows from the top and most definitely an aisle seat and class had proceeded without incident.
By the third run-in her anger had waned into incredulity. He had come here to the coast he hadn't wanted to go to and enrolled in a school he had had no interest in and for what? For her had been the instant response.
A ludicrous thought but the only one she had had to go with. There was no other explanation for his continued appearance in each of her selected classes but that he was here for her.
What puzzled her most, beyond the insanity of his initial appearance had been the distance he had been keeping between them. Not once in the three weeks since his appearance had he made any attempt to speak to her alone and they only interacted in the discussion labs and only then at the insistence of the TA's whom she had discovered enjoyed riling them up and watching them go at each other.
And go at it they did. He challenged her like no one else, none of the classes or the professors could match her like he could. No one could keep up and it was as exhilarating as it was infuriating.
Finally, after a particularly rousing discussion of medieval poetry she had reached her breaking point. As she was always the first to leave their assigned classrooms it had been easy enough to lay in wait for him amidst the groups of smokers who congregated outside each exit.
"Why Kyle could you just please tell me why," she had grabbed his arm, perhaps harder than she should as the look on his face was one of pain as much as it was surprise.
"Could you be more specific?" he had bent down to speak the words into her ear and having him so close had been a stupid idea. She had stepped back trying to remember if his voice had always been so warm, or so deep.
Taking a deep breath had not given her strength; she had in fact lost her nerve and had fled from the moment.
Two more weeks had passed, he had said nothing, but he had met her eyes with a smile more often and their debates were becoming something of note. More than one professor had dropped by to observe and on occasion participate.
"What brought you here," he had been sitting alone at one of the tables in the union and she had taken the seat across from him, her question asked before she could think of stopping it.
"I missed you."
The answer had stunned her.
She had fled as quickly as she had impulsively sat down.
Sitting next to him the next day in Psychology had been easier than she had thought it would be.
Everything was easier between them this time around. The talking was easier, the working was more comfortable and the laughing there was more laughing between them than she had thought possible.
Breakfast had been cleared from the buffet lines, the only options had been the salad bar and various snacks, she had settled on cottage cheese and mozzarella sticks to carry her over until lunch officially started. Mid terms had arrived and the mood on campus was frantic, she could only imagine what finals would be like.
Kyle had taken the seat across from her with ease; her eyebrow had risen at the sight of a fruit cup and cheese cubes.
"I still train with Foss."
She had sat back hard in the plastic chair.
"When it became clear that I wasn't going back," and she had wondered how exactly that had been received, "Foss packed up and moved out here."
Stunned she watched him eat the grapes and the Swiss.
"I just wanted you to know, you know, in case you wanted to come," his eyes met hers, the darkness that had been there that first day had faded in the intermittent weeks and the blue that looked at her was clear and warm and full of sincerity.
"As great as the higher education offered on these hallowed grounds," he waved piece of honeydew around and she smirked, "there are other things that we could be practicing."
Her tongue had pressed to the back of her front teeth; they had eaten the rest of their brunch in silence.
She had joined him early that next Saturday morning, arrival at the predetermined location even earlier than Foss and certainly earlier that Kyle. Foss had been as pleasant as she had expected, grunting a hello, she had been stunned when he had held the door open for her.
His curt response was forgotten the moment Kyle had arrived, the smile on his face, it had burned into her head, her heart. He had been so happy to see her there.
There had been no happy thoughts two hours later. Foss had a very special training plan. One part torture and three parts sadism they were halfway through their second set of a hundred crunches, not any crunches mind you, no, every rep chin to knee had to be accompanied by the number, called out in seven different languages. Perfect intonation was required and the order had to vary with each rep.
Of course Kyle had smirked at her when she had heard the requirements, and she had gritted her teeth and simply dropped to the mat.
They were sparring in the boxing ring the next Saturday, she had been practicing her kickboxing and he had been working on his blocking.
"Is that all you got?" Kyle taunted, not as often as Foss nowhere near her own smart mouth, but it had accompanied a smirk and it had struck her the wrong way.
Her adrenaline spiked and she aimed a rough kick to his thigh which he blocked, the force of which managed to set him back two steps, she smirked back at him.
"I don't trust you," the words fell out of her mouth faster than she could catch them.
The straight kick went right for his head, she barely managed to throw her weight off when he didn't raise his hands to block; he still landed flat on his ass.
Standing over him, hands on her hips, she would over him a hand, but he looked like he needed a minute or seven exactly where he was, "Jessi."
The moan that followed had haunted her, she hadn't known if it was from her kick or her revelation, but it was what she felt.
Whether she was still feeling it wasn't clear, when she had seen him in class Monday there had been a dark tint to his eyes that had made her uncomfortable.
She didn't want to be responsible for the state of his eyes; it was a burden she had no right to bear. Wasn't there a dirty blond in the Pacific Northwest who should be holding that candle?
The question had eaten at her, at them, all week.
They had taken to sitting with a chair in between them during lectures.
Security had almost been called during discussion on Thursday.
Their steps forward were being dogged by small shuffles back.
Friday night on campus, even one with as high standards as theirs, was on occasion rambunctious. Shouts could be heard from the quad, her roommate had promised to be back after sunrise.
Nothing about public drunkenness had appealed to her, but she had indulged in the occasional Greek party, the music called to her, appallingly loud and with a rumbling bass she could feel through her shoes.
Her iPod was charging, no music tonight, she craved the silence. Wished she could go for a run, but couldn't actually drag her feet out of her room to accomplish the task. The energy sliding under her skin would simply have to endure.
The sharp rap at her door had startled her.
"Hello Kyle."
Her words muttered before the door was even half way opened.
His appearance was not unexpected and only somewhat unwanted.
"I've never done right by you."
The energy she had thought was enough for an eight mile run evaporated with his words; she sank heavily onto the edge of her bed as he began to pace the short distance between her bookcase and her roommate's desk.
"Over and over I made the wrong decisions, I pushed when I should have pulled and yelled when I should have listened, and I-it-"
The words drained out of him. The shadow of a beard was back, darker than the last time she had seen him unshaven, it had been inappropriate but her mind wandered. How would they feel under her palm? Against her cheek?
Things had been good between them, he had been listening because she had been speaking and there had been progress. His pacing uncertainty was on her, on her mumbled revelation.
"I don't trust you Kyle because you have my heart. You've always had it and you threw it away, stepped on it," he looked at her with devastation in his eyes.
She shrugged, "but maybe it shouldn't matter because my heart is better now, it's probably worth more now than it ever would have been before," standing she was going on her gut, following her instinct and it was screaming, her palms were itching to feel the scratch of his beard.
"And you still have it," she cupped his face, the delicious rub of her hands and his face sent a jolt down her spine.
"Break my heart again-"she couldn't say it, it would do her in, but there was one more thing that had to be said, that she knew was truth, "I'm trusting you with it."
Pressing her lips against his was the most sensible thing to do.
So she did.
And he kissed her back, repeatedly.
Through the night and into the morning; her roommate got an eyeful an hour after sunrise.
Kyle had blushed.
What they were doing was probably foolish.
Kyle still had to save the world and they were going to have to face everyone at Christmas.
There would be looks and questions and God help them all if she gets smart at any given time.
Those kickboxing lessons were sure to come in handy at that point.
"Things might get ugly," she was tracing a lazy pattern on the smooth skin stretching over his sternum.
"True," his fingers were buried in her hair scratching at her scalp; the movement was hypnotic, relaxing.
Her roommate was already snoring, sleep was tugging at her as well, and she wondered if he would stay.
"It's worth it though," the tightening of his voice made her smile, she pressed a kiss to his chin, "you're worth it."
No doubt in his speech, no hesitation in his heartbeats, she trusted that, would trust him.
Closing her eyes she let sleep take hold.