XII. Always Where I Need To Be


There is snow.

Bad. Bad.

And I'm cold.

Stupid weather.

Stupid unwashed clothes because stupid Rukia isn't here.

Stupid Byakuya for making stupid Rukia take a stupid plane ride to stupid London.

I picked up the phone, calling for maybe the fourth time, waiting for stupid Rukia to pick up. What the hell is she doing anyway? And why isn't she picking up her phone? Shouldn't she have it with her all the time in case of an emergency? What if I accidentally leave the toaster plugged in overnight and burn the apartment down?

Stupid toaster.

"Please leave a message after the beep." Beep.

"If you don't pick up I'm going to find you and flush you down a large toilet."

The first day Rukia was gone I went to a bar with Keigo and Mizuiro, got drunk off my arse, went home repeatedly calling out "Rukia?" and then thirty minutes afterwards realizing she was gone for the next six days. I'm pretty sure I slept on the floor that night.

The second day I called her three times, maybe more, and when she picked up she sighed and said, "Thank god it's you. I haven't been able to complain for a whole day. Do you realize how wrong that is?"

Being me, I couldn't help but make a hilarious comment and listen to her giggle. Rukia did complain a lot though. But I strangely didn't care. She said how at the hotel she lost her key to get inside her own room and then ran around the hotel like a lunatic looking for the hotel key. When she finally found it, (it was in her butt pocket the whole time) she obviously went inside her room and tried to take a nap only to be interrupted by a phone call that said she had to be in the lobby in the next fifteen minutes and I quote the guy she was on the phone with "Or else." It was Byakuya' assistant or something like that.

After being on the phone with her for longer than two hours and realizing what time it was (London is three hours ahead) she said she had to wake up early tomorrow to see Byakuya again.

The third day Rukia was gone I stared at the ceiling in her bedroom and tried not to smirk at the glow in the dark stars on it.

When we first got the apartment Rukia wasn't warming up to her room so I bought her glow in the dark stars and stuck them to her ceiling. I then proceeded to use highlighter and draw stick figures fighting each other. She of course yelled at me but then drew an owl. Hypocrite.

Too tired and bored, I didn't get out of bed until two in the afternoon and thinking I wanted waffles only to find out that we didn't have waffles. Lame.

Rukia called me and said how nervous she was to be in front of Byakuya and that she nearly fell out of her chair and when he turned to ask her how she was. When Rukia is nervous it's one of the most entertaining things to see. She gets all flustered and unable to speak and her face goes pink and red. Although I do occasionally find it annoying depending on whom she's nervous around.

Sometimes I question if she's still a high school kid.

She also mentioned how luxurious the hotel bathroom was and how she didn't ever want to leave it. But that only reminded me of how she always sings 'Wouldn't It Be Nice' in the shower and all the high notes that she butchers.

The fourth day I thought of how lonely and quiet the apartment is without Rukia. Not wanting to be there, I left the apartment for the entire day and tried not to think about it.

Tatsuki took me shopping with her, which did take my mind off of things but when we walked past a toy store and saw a large stuffed bunny I turned away and went in the opposite direction, nearly trampling over a teenage girl and making her giggle. Stupid bunnies. Stupid teenagers.

"What's wrong with you?" Tatsuki asked, looking amused at my reactions to things that reminded me of Rukia.

I rolled my eyes, replying "Everything."

Rukia is coming back in two days.

Finally.

It feels like I've waited forever just for her to come back. My laundry isn't done, there are still dirty dishes in the sink and I even, for once, attempted to do the dishes, the cable isn't paid for so I have nothing to do except watch Fight Club for the twelfth time, Renji won't stop talking about Rukia so I am forced to think about Rukia, and Rukia has only picked up her phone about twelve times this week and I've called her around twenty times.

"Did you buy me anything?" I ask, more like grumble, on the phone. I have a blanket wrapped around myself and am only in my boxers, cradling the phone to my ear and listening to Rukia.

She snorts inelegantly. "As if."

My chest does this weird flutter thingy when her snort reminds me of the time I took her ice skating and she laughed so hard she snorted because she saw me trip over a little girl and then land on her. I didn't know Rukia had such a mean side. But that moment where she laughed has always been stuck in my brain.

"Don't be such a butthead and buy me a shirt that says 'I love London.' I'm sure it's only around five bucks."

"Ew Ichigo, that's so tacky. I'll seem like those annoying tourists who pretend they have a British accent. And you know how I feel about those people." She said, huffing a bit.

Lately Rukia's been acting a little odd. I'm not sure why but it's bugging me. Her mind always seems to be somewhere else when I'm on the phone with her and most of the time our conversations range from me checking up on her and me just asking if she can come back any sooner.

Normally I wouldn't care about this but my withdrawal of Rukia has been unsettling.

I'm not saying I can't do anything without her being around. I just choose not to.

Yesterday I was explaining to her about the laundry deal and she absentmindedly said, "What would you do without me Ichigo?" I don't think she meant anything by it but it made me panic so I just wisely said "I…uh…I gotta go."

So far I've been trying to block out that question but it keeps coming back and biting me in the ass.

What am I supposed to say? "I have no idea because I haven't planned that far ahead in life."? Yeah, that's a great answer.

"Did you just say tacky?" I asked, trying to sound surprised. Rukia never ceases to surprise me. She's always got some weird word from the past that she uses unexpectedly. "I don't think I've heard that word since the 90's."

"Ha ha ha." She laughed monotonously. Sometimes I question if she ever has a sense of humor or if she's just a robot. If she's a robot then she's a pretty hot robot…I mean…she'd be a total C3PO…but a girl version…yeah.

"Oh shut up. You're the one who wants the stupid shirt."

"So you're getting it for me then?"

I could tell that by her response there was a smile in her voice. "I'll get right on that." Oh, she's funny. There was a pause between us and I didn't know what to say. Saying 'I miss you' over the phone makes it seem like I'm her long distance boyfriend. Which I'm not.

I'm just the best friend who calls her every waking hour. "Crap. Ichigo, sorry, I have to go. I'm getting another call. Tell Hinamori I said hi okay?" I blinked at what she said in a bit of confusion. Is she blowing me off right now? "Ichigo?" She asked, her voice making me shudder.

Shaking my head, I tried not to think of how she said my name and the effect it had on me. "Uh, yeah. I'll tell her."

She sounded like she laughed but I couldn't tell. "Lovely response after I just said I have to go."

It was strange. Something in me felt disappointed that she had to go and I didn't know why. "Whatever. I…" I miss you. "I'll see you later."

Damn it.

There's definitely something wrong with me.

"So how's Rukia?"

Sometimes I just wanna punch Renji in the gut and hope his stomach swallows him whole.

"Fine."

"Really? Does she like London?"

I took a bite of my hamburger. "I guess." If Rukia were here she'd yell at me for speaking with my mouth full of food. But who cares, she's coming back in a day and I need all my man time today.

"That's good. You think she's met anyone there?" Renji wondered out loud, directing most of his questions to me.

I sighed and swallowed the peace of meat in my mouth. "I don't know Renji."

The guy who I'm sitting next to at his house is beginning to annoy me. All he's been doing every time I come over is ask about Rukia, think about Rukia and on and on.

"If she has I wonder who it is. Would you care Ichigo?" He asks way too many questions.

I stared at the television and tried to focus on the game I was trying to play, the burger still hanging in my mouth.

"Hey." Renji said, hitting me on the back of the head.

I groaned. "What do you want me to say? Probably not. If anything a man would be good for Rukia." Not really. If it meant Rukia would be gone all the time then that'd be bad. I grabbed the soda on the floor, hoping nothing got in it. If I drank a bug I'd be pissed. "Why do you keep asking all these questions Renji?" No, really, Rukia has a phone too. He could just ask her.

My mind was on the television and burger beside me, so I wasn't really expecting his answer. When it came I spit out my drink and choked a little.

"What did you say?" I've always been a disbelieving person. Or maybe I'm just an ignorant and oblivious person. It's one of those two.

"I said that I told Rukia that I liked her." Renji repeated calmly.

What the hell? I feel like some zombie just grabbed my heart and squeezed. What I really wanted to know was what her response was. I'm almost positive Rukia doesn't like Renji. If she did she would've told me. Right? But what if the reason she's been acting so out of it is because of what Renji told her? What if she does like him and leaves me? What if that's why she hasn't picking her phone up so much?

"W-What did she say?" Please be no, please be no.

It took all I had not to pull my hair out and slam his face on the floor.

Renji was silent for a moment and glanced at the television.

I think I must've looked like an oversized bug because my eyes were so wide in awe and surprise.

"What I expected." He replied, getting up from his couch and going to his kitchen.

Wait, what did he expect? A yes? A no? What?

"Which is?" I asked, sort of eagerly and trying to hide that.

In a way I knew it was no because as he said 'What I expected' his eyes got glassy and he turned away. That means no, right? But Renji needs to man up! It's just Rukia, how the heck can she make anyone fall in love with her?

Renji rolled his eyes. "Starts with an n and ends with an o.

...

YES.

For the remainder of the time I was with Renji I tried not to smile.

I didn't smile all the way home.

Nope.

I didn't sing along in Rukia's car to Don't Stop Believin' by Journey.

I didn't leave the windows open and feel the cold air nip me in the arms just to make me pay attention to the road.

I didn't say hi to a stranger and pet their dog on my way inside the apartment.

And I didn't stay up all night waiting to go pick Rukia up.

Not at all.

I've been waiting for Rukia at the airport for only fourteen minutes and I'm already anxious. Am I supposed to hold up a sign that says "Looking for Rukia Kuchiki" so she knows where I am? Damn it. That's a better idea than just standing here by the car freezing my ass off.

I wonder if I have markers in the car and some paper. At least then I could draw a bunny and attempt to get her attention or just yell her name out lo—god damnit.

There she is.

When I saw her walking out of the airport, dragging her suitcase along in one hand and holding her cardigan closed with the other, her eyes looking down and showing her long dark eyelashes, her cheeks rosy from the cold air, her dark hair fluttering in the wind, I realized it; Fuck. I've missed her way too much for just a friend.

Rukia saw me, her eyes lighting up and my stomach lurched.

I bit my lip and tried not to think of how many times I've seen her come to me, a smile on her face, and looking so beautiful.

She walked up to me with an amused smile. "Are you gonna stand there and watch as I jack your, wait, my car, or are you going to drive me home and make me dinner while we watch Fringe?"

Her eyes seemed to shine in the light and her face was glowing. I looked down at her, stepping closer so she was only a few inches away from me. "No, I think I've got something better."

A/N: OHMAIGAWD.

Um…sorry that I haven't updated in a really long time?

Sorry if this chapter wasn't as beastly as I wanted it to be?

To be honest I was actually gonna make Rukia's trip into three chapters and have Ichigo complain the entire time but I didn't want to wait that long or else I'd forget everything else that I was thinking of…if that makes sense. And I was a little uninspired to continue this. Whatever, I'll find my creative flow sometime soon.

Complaints? Endearments?

Tell me dahlings!

…and sorry this took so long.

push it. to the limit. (you know what I'm talking about...reowr)