"I wanna, I wanna, I wanna touch you. You wanna touch me too. Everyday but all I have is time. Our loves the perfect crime." I Wanna - All American Rejects
Back At Your Door
Chapter Five
"So, we're going home today?" Jamie asks from the backseat. You take a deep breath and tighten your arms around yourself.
"Yeah, bud. We're going to go back to your house. Do you miss your bed?" Shane says, his hands squeezing the steering wheel. Jamie smiles, a small sigh of relief escaping his lips.
"Yes!" he blurts out before giggling. "So, is Aunt Mitchie staying with us, Uncle Shay?" he asks, biting his lower lip. "I want her to." He admits with wide innocent eyes. You look behind at him, confusion painted in your face. Shane frowns and looks at you for a second before looking at the road again.
"Of course I am, sweetie. Uncle Shay will stay with us for a week or so, until me and you are settled, okay?" you tell him, crossing your arms in front of your chest. Shane gives you another look before focusing on turning.
Jaime frowns. "Just a week?"
You freeze before clearing your throat. "Shane has his own house, honey. But we'll see how it plays out." You tell him when his frown gets deeper. At your last words, the little boy smiles again. "But anyways, we're almost there. Just ten more minutes and then we're back to your home." You tell him with a final smile before turning back to the front.
Shane runs a hand through his hair. "We should go out tonight. The three of us. Go to dinner and find a movie for the little guy." He tells you before looking in the mirror for a second. "How about it, James? Dinner and a movie?" Jamie's eyes light up and he nods furiously. You grin at the little boy again, and Shane takes his hand off the wheel for two seconds to reach behind him and try to tickle Jamie.
The boy laughs before pushing his hand away. "Stop! I don't want the car to go boom again! You have to look at road or you'll do it again!" He says between giggles. Shane freezes and he gives the boy a weird look before pulling his hand back. You sit up straighter, looking at Jamie with wide eyes, but the boy is still giggling.
You look at Shane. "The car go boom? Does he mean an accident? The accident?" you ask pointedly. "Again?" you add when Shane doesn't respond. You feel your heart speed up. What the hell is Jamie talking about? Is he insinuating that Shane was driving the car…?
He looks straight ahead, his fingers tight against the wheel. "I don't know what he means." He says tensely, before shrugging. "Maybe he means I'll press the horn by mistake." He suggests with another shrug. You narrow your eyes and raise an eyebrow, before looking back at Jamie.
"Make the car go boom?" you ask and Shane takes a deep intake of breath.
Jamie looks up, furrowing his eyebrows. His expression changes in an instant. "I don't like it when the car goes boom." He says and you realize memories are flashing in his eyes. You open your mouth to ask more, but Jamie starts to turn red. Your eyes bulge and you look at him with concern as the little boy starts to cry. He scrunches up his little nose and starts to sob. "That last time it went boom, Mommy and Daddy went away."
"Whoa, whoa. Baby it's fine. Shane is a good driver." You comfort him, suddenly feeling like an ass for even saying anything. You turn back to Shane but his eyes are focused on the road.
Xx
"Have you been drinking?" you say softly. Shane looks up surprised and leans against the wall. He doesn't answer you. You turn away from him, still seated at the table. You look at the dinner you prepared hours ago before looking at him again. He goes over to the couch and slumps on it. "We were supposed to have dinner." You remind him, still in the low voice.
He looks up, his blood red eyes out of focus. "I got caught up." He says simply, his voice hoarse.
You press your lips together before standing up. "I'm going to the doctor's tomorrow. To see if something is wrong or something since we haven't been able to…" you trail off, but he understands. He scoffs, pain reflected in his tone. You turn around slowly, looking at him to say whatever he wants to say.
He just starts to laugh. "Have you ever done something you knew you shouldn't have?" he shakes his head. "Actually more like, have you ever done something you knew you had to but also knew it would only yield bad results?" he gets up, stumbling slightly before knocking over a picture of you two to the ground violently. You jump, staring at him with wide eyes. "Fuck, Mitchie. Just…I can't do this anymore." he mumbles before leaving you.
You watch him leave, obviously hurt. "You can't do what? Us?" you call after him, but he doesn't hear you. Just as you move to go after him, the phone starts ringing. You hesitate but take a deep breath and answer it. "Hello?" the annoyance is clear in your voice even though you're trying to hide it.
"Oh." The feminine voice surprises you. "Sorry, Mitchie. It's Claire. I just wanted to see if Shane made it home safely. We were at this club and he drank a little too much." She says, concern in her voice.
You freeze.
He was at a club?
Xx
"We're here."Shane says gently. The little boy has already stopped crying but in any case, neither you nor he wants to make him start again. When you get out of the car, you let Shane take Jamie out of the car seat as you just look around. You look at Caitlyn and Nate's perfect house, remembering memory after memory. The barbeques. The parties. The laughter. And later on, the crying.
Turning your head to the left, your eyes meet a little pink house. Jamie gets out of the car slowly before looking up to his house with sad eyes. Suddenly, he is sprinting towards the front door. You, on the other hand, cannot keep your eyes off of that pink house. "Mitchie?" Shane nudges your arm before turning his head to look at what you are staring at. "Jeeze, Mitch." He groans. "Please, let it go." He puts his hand gently on your lower back.
You sigh and turn back to him. "It's just hard. It really hurt me." You say honestly. He frowns and moves forward, before putting his hands tenderly on your cheeks.
"I'm sorry." He whispers before leaning in and putting his forehead against yours. You close your eyes, breathing in his familiar smell. He takes the last step and lightly brushes his lips against yours. "Let's go inside." He mumbles, reaching down and grabbing your hand in his.
You nod and try to smile. Jamie stares at you two curiously.
Xx
"Hey, Caity!" you smiled brightly, making her jump a little. She rolls her eyes at you and goes back to wiping the chocolate smears on her little son's face. You wrinkled your nose at him and he smiled as you bent down and flicked his nose. Caitlyn gave you a stern look and you gave her an innocent glance.
"Mitchie! Don't feed my child more sugar!" she scolded you, but you still gave Jamie a lollipop. The little boy took off running before his mother could stop him and Caitlyn put her hands on her hips. "Didn't you just hear me?" she said pointedly. You shrugged nonchalantly.
"Hey!" you pretended to be insulted. "I'm the cool aunt. What am I for, if not to feed him unnecessary candy? Plus, I do think it's about time he gets a cavity." You teased, pushing your best friend's shoulder. She huffed but eventually smiled. "Remember when we were in Camp Rock and no one would get us candy even though we were dying, until Shane's uncle got us some? Uncles and aunts are needed for that kinda thing." You reminded her, hooking your arm with hers. She sighed dramatically before rolling her eyes again. You look away from her as you guys walked towards her front door. "Hey, is someone moving in next door?" you asked, nodding over to the moving vans.
Caitlyn looked over and opened her mouth as if she had just remembered something. "Right! You haven't met Claire yet. Oh, man. She's like a knock out. Sweet little blonde thing with the biggest green eyes and nice body. I need to make sure Nate stays far away from that one." She elbowed you and you laughed. Back then, you knew Nate would never do something like that. You thought the same about Shane. "Hey, I was going to be a good neighbor and bring her some food. She looks like she's been living off Ramen Noodles and water." She laughs. "Typical college student, I guess."
You smiled. "Sure, why not." Caitlyn smiled as the both of you entered your best friends' house.
Xx
Stepping into the quiet house makes your heart stop for a little bit. You take a deep breath just as Jamie starts running to his room. Shane closes the door behind you, putting his hands on your shoulders. He squeezes them lightly before pulling you back towards him. "We need to talk about what's going to happen between us. I'm tired of it just hanging up in the air." He whispers in your ear.
You nod, swallowing softly. You walk ahead of him, going to Jamie's bedroom. The little boy is playing with his action figures and making a mess of his bed. Shane puts his fingers on your side and you close your eyes. He kisses your shoulder, lazily running his fingertips up and down your waist. He runs his lips up to your neck and takes a deep breath of your scent. "God, I've missed you." he whispers.
"My parents used to do that." Jamie calls out from the bedroom. He is staring at you, his soldier still in his hands. "They said that only people that love each other can do that. Do you love each other?" he asks, his sweet eyes curious. You part your lips and Shane tenses before relaxing. He wraps his arms around your middle.
"I love her with all my heart, buddy." Shane answers, kissing the side of your face. You smile, a little embarrassingly, but don't answer the boy. Jamie frowns.
"Then why did you kiss Claire?" he asks innocently. You frown, your heart beating fast again. Tensing in Shane's arms, you look away. Shane takes a deep sigh and hugs you tighter to his chest. You can feel tears go up to your eyes.
"Stop. Please. What happened is in the past. You need to forgive me." Shane mutters softly into your ear. Then, he looks at Jamie, wondering how to respond to him. "Bud, there were certain things that happened around the beginning of the summer that I'm really regretful for. I messed up, James. And I thought I could change that if I listened to what she was saying…Claire." he adds at the confusion in Jamie's face. "I don't love her. I didn't love her. Sometimes, we make mistakes and we confused who we love and who we don't because it's easier than…" he stops, takes a deep breath and continues. "I hurt Aunt Mitchie. A lot. And I shouldn't have, but I love her and she's my wife."
"Okay." Jamie says, shrugging his shoulder. "Well, Claire was nice. Daddy and her got into a huge fight once though." You want him to elaborate and almost ask him, but Shane squeezes your hand.
"We should go talk now?" he looks at you before pulling you out of Jamie's room. "We'll be in the living room, bud." Shane calls over his shoulder.
Xx
"Hey, Nate! Are you with Jamie?" she called out and Nate grunted a yes. You laughed. Both Shane and Nate had planned to go fishing the day before, and instead of having a nice evening out, some girls decided to chase them around for a while. "You okay? Or do your legs still hurt?" Caitlyn sniggered and you laughed. Shane was fine after running almost half a mile before their security caught up with them. He actually thought it was funny. Nate, on the other hand, prefers to not be chased and also not to run. Shane had been teasing him all day.
"I'm fine, jerk. I'm with my son who obviously loves me more than you." he called back sarcastically. Caitlyn dismissed him and waved for you to follow her back outside, now equipped with some food she had made earlier. The two of you walked briskly out to the pink house that belonged to Claire.
"So, have you met her?" you asked, fixing your purse on your shoulder. Caitlyn shrugged.
"I saw her from afar and then met her for two seconds one night, but she seemed awesome. Fresh out of college kinda girl who liked to surf in her free time." Caitlyn laughed. "She has the most perfect tan. I'm jealous."
You smirk. "You didn't poison this food or something, did you? To make sure she stays away from Nate?" You mocked and Caitlyn laughed and rolled her eyes. When you got to Claire's door, you knocked since your hands were not filled. It took Claire about twenty seconds to grab the door and when she saw you, her eyes widened. She stared at you for a couple seconds, astonished. Finally, she tore her eyes off you and went to Caitlyn, looking at her with a warm smile.
You didn't think anything of it.
xx
"So, let's talk. What's this fight Jamie is talking about with Claire? How does he know you two kissed? What did he mean earlier in the car?" you ask quickly, crossing your arms. Shane goes to sit on the couch before looking at you.
He completely ignores all your questions and asks one of his own. "Are we getting a divorce?" he asks, his eyes focused on you. You gasp softly and your eyes widen. Standings still, you forget about everything else and just look at Shane. Opening and closing your mouth a couple times, you realize you don't know how to answer him. "Are we? Because I don't want one, and I think we need to start over."
You take a deep breath and go over to the couch. You sit across from him. "Start over how?" you ask, clearing your throat.
Shane shrugs. "Talk to each other. Go back to normal. Be husband and wife again. All that."
"And you think that's going to happen just by saying it?" you counteract. Shane frowns.
"No. I know we're going to need some work." He says, swallowing. Biting his lip, he comes closer to you. He puts his hands on your cheeks before leaning in to kiss you again. You press your lips against his, almost involuntarily. He has always been completely intoxicating to you. You have never been able to say no for too long.
But…
You feel weird. The other day, last night…you are going too fast and you don't know whether or not to believe him, but at the same time, you miss him. You just…miss him. So much. "I'm sorry." You say, not even realizing that tears are falling down your face. "I can't do this, Shane. I already told you." you push him away, putting your hands through your hair.
Shane sighs. "I'm sorry." He repeats again, but he doesn't stop. He moves with you, moves his upper body on top of yours. He kisses you again. "I'm so sorry." He keeps saying, kissing you over and over again. You moan softly and push him away again, before standing up abruptly. He groans and closes his eyes.
You put your arms tightly around your chest and sit down on the other sofa. "I missed you, Shane. I did. And I still do. But I'm scared." You admit, looking at the floor. "I don't want to be left alone again. I don't want to be waiting for you to come to dinner. I don't want to be afraid of you sleeping with another girl."
He takes a deep breath, looking at you with sad eyes. "Baby, I won't ever put you through that again. I promise you with all my heart." He whispers, swallowing softly. "It's hard not touching you." he confesses and you frown. "It's hard not kissing you when I want to." He continues.
You look up. "I don't know if I'm ready to jump into our relationship again." Your voice cracks. Shane's eyes get desperate and he looks at you sadly.
"Come on, baby. What I did in the past is in the past. Please." He begs, hurt in his eyes. "I miss you." he says, echoing your words from earlier. You take a deep breath and go to answer him when the doorbell rings. You both look at the door confused but eventually, you push yourself up off the sofa.
Wiping your eyes, you go straight to the door just as the person rings the doorbell again.
Xx
"What's wrong?" Shane asks, looking at you. You don't turn to him, but instead, continue staring out to the horizon from the balcony. "I'm sorry about yesterday. I lost track of time and I drank too much." He says, sitting on the chair next to you. You shrug, your lips pressed together. "Did you go to the doctor's?" he changes the subject.
You nod. "I can't…he said that…I was pregnant, Shane. The blood that I told you about…the things that came out of me… I had a miscarriage. That's twice now." You could hardly even speak. Shane's eyes widen and then, the heartbreak is clear on his face. You sniffed loudly, holding yourself together by a thread.
Shane falls against the chair in stunned silence. You started to sob again and Shane looked at you, as if he just remembered you were there again. Suddenly, you feel climb on top of you, pulling to him. His lips are on yours, moving quickly. Tears spill down both your cheeks as you melt into one.
Xx
When you open the door, your eyes widen with immediate anger. "You have some guts to come here." You say, between gritted teeth.
Her green eyes flash with amusement. "Oh, scary." She mocks, biting her lip teasingly. Your eyes burn with intensity and you step forward.
"Mitchie?" Shane calls from his seat on the couch. He comes to the door and she smiles. He takes a deep intake of breath. "Claire." He mutters, his breath coming out harshly.
She crosses her arms. "Hey lover." She smirks, looking at him with secret eyes. "I was wondering when you guys would come back. I was lonely." She says, laughing slightly under her breath. Her long blonde hair flies in the wind and Shane takes another deep breath. He glares at her angrily.
"Claire, leave." He says, menacingly. She scoffs and rolls her eyes before putting her hands on her stomach. Pouting mockingly, she turns to Shane.
"But I got some news, darling. Don't you want to hear it?"
XXX
So before I start, sorry about the formatting on last chapter. Its FF, not me. Grr. Anyways, there are only going to be about five chapters left. This will be a short story. That said, I already have another story and the link is s / 599 3506 / 1 (no spaces). It's called Runaway Found and it takes place at Camp Rock (weird for me, huh haha). All of your reviews have been responded to and can be seen at my blog (link on my profile).
But review! Sorry, I've been out of it lately haha. But I have all the plans done and all I have to do is write it. the next chapter will be up at 180. So, tell me what you think about Shane now. Also, what you think claire's news is. Tell me whether you think Mitchie is right in pushing him away and what Jamie meant in the car.
Love you guys so much. Thanks for being so patient with me!
Sandy :D