6. Confessions

"Good morning Jess," Kimee whispered into Jess's ear.

Jess opened her eyes to see Kimee sitting on the bed with flowers in her hands. "Who are those from?"

"Who do you think?" Kimee laughed. "Shane, of course."

Jess sat up in her bed and Kimee handed her the flowers with a smile. "I think that you finally found someone that is actually worth the risks you are taking."

Jess looked at her best friends worried face. "You know that this is just what I need, Kimee. If I'm not going to be alive in three or four years, I want to live my life to the fullest and I'm not going to let this hold me back. This is why I am doing all I can now."

"Jess, I know that you want to live your life to the fullest, and I'm going to be with you every step of the way," Kimee looked down, and it looked like she was crying, "but I don't want you to push it to far."

"I won't, I promise," Jess smiled.

Jess looked at Kimee and realized that if she did pass on, that she was leaving part of herself with her best friend. She thought about all the pieces of herself that were being left behind with someone that she loved.

"There's a note that goes along with your flowers," Kimee interrupted her thoughts. "Shane wants you to meet him at the theater. He has a surprise for you."

"Really," Jess giggled. "What time?"

"Read for yourself missy, I'm not a messenger," Kimee joked as she got off the bed.

"Matt! Will you hang up the phone for a minute and help me out?" Shane shouted from his room.

"What do you want?" Matt yelled back at him.

"A little help from my best friend, please."

As Matt walked into the room he eyed Shane suspiciously. "What do you need help with?"

"I'm taking Jess to New Smyrna Beach, but I don't know if that is to cheesy, you know," Shane groaned.

"Ok, Shane, calm down a little," Matt laughed. "Jess is going to love this idea, and no, it's not cheesy."

Shane looked himself over and thought that he was the biggest idiot in existence, but he was being an idiot for the woman that he adored, and that made him feel like he was glowing brighter than the sun itself. He realized only yesterday, as he and Jess were watching the sun rise, that he could not let her go again. He knew that he could not make that same mistake twice in his life, because the second time, he would not be able to watch her leave without losing part of himself in the process.

"Matt, I really need to make this perfect. Can you help me?"

"No, I can't help you," Matt smiled. "You know exactly what you need to do, and that is why the idea is not cheesy."

"Huh?" Shane asked.

"Just do whatever feels right to you, and she's going to love it."

"Why couldn't you say that the first time?"

"Well, maybe because I never thought that your mind was that acute," Matt laughed.

"Look, I have to go pick Jess up at the theater, but I will tell you how it goes later."

"You better," Shane heard Matt say as he walked out the door.

At New Smyrna Beach Jess was watching as the birds flew past, the children playing in the water and most of all, Shane, the one man that she would risk anything for. She felt herself falling a little more each time she looked into his honey-colored eyes. She was never looking for love, but it seemed to have found her at the moment when she is at the darkest point in her life. She realized that Shane is the light in her dark, the sun during the night, erasing all the uncertainty that were stars and giving her sight for the first time to see the road ahead.

"What are you thinking about?" Shane asked her.

"Just about how much different my life is, now that I know you," she smiled at him.

"You know, even if you didn't know me you would still be the perfect person I know."

"No, I wouldn't," Jess said. "You are the reason that I get up in the mornings most of the time, sometimes I feel like I just want to never get up, but then I think of you, and my perspective changes. It seems to brighten more and more every time I look at you. You are my reason for still being here."

Shane looked at her for a long while, before he said anything, which made her think that she said the wrong thing.

"I'm sorry," Jess looked down. "I know you don't feel the same, but–"

Shane grabbed her face and pulled it to his before she could say anything else. He held her there until the actual shock of the kiss faded and she wrapped her arms around his neck, her left hand tangling itself into his hair and her right on his face. He moved his hands so that he was holding the small of her back and her neck. She breathed him in like he was her air supply, her need for survival. When he let go of his embrace to look at her she could she the honey in his eyes lighten. "Jess," he smiled. "I really hope that you don't think that I don't feel the same way."

Jess looked down at her feet, still trying to catch her breath from the kiss. "I'm not pretty like other girls, I'm sick and possibly dying, I am–"

"The first person that I can say this and truly mean it," he said as he pulled her chin up. "I love you, and I will always love you, even if you're sick. That doesn't matter to me, and if I only get to spend one week with you, that is going to be the best week of my life."

"It would still be a week that you could be enjoying your life instead of worrying about if I'm still going to be here. You–"

"Are not going anywhere," he smiled. "Now if you don't mind, I would rather be looking at the most beautiful person in the world instead of talking about things that are not going to be happening any time soon."

"What the not going anywhere or the dying?" Jess tried making a joke, but failed, wincing at the dying part.

"You're not going to die, Jess," Shane told her. "What am I going to do for the rest of my life if you do?"

"Live."

"Not without you," Shane said, looking her in the eyes.