A/N: So I really didn't mean to just randomly abandon this. I thought I would just finish it up and continue on with all the other random plot ideas I've been getting while re-watching some of the episodes. And then this odd period of time hit and I haven't been able to write for crap. It's not writer's block, I know what I want to write, I just haven't been able to sit down and do it. It kinda sucked. So here's hoping this will get things started.

No One Mourns the Wicked - Wicked Sound Track

I should have never said all that to James, he thought to himself. I'm evil, wicked, a horrible person. I don't deserve to have James. None of them will miss me when I'm gone.

Kendall was deep in a coma. He couldn't tell if he was still alive, but he hoped if he was, it wouldn't last for long. This odd floating sensation gave him hope that he would make it through, but every time he thought about waking up, he knew if he did he would have to face James, and everything would fall apart again.

Why did I have to do that? He's James, he's my best friend, my brother, and I love him. All he could think about was the look in James' eyes right after they kissed, and then the look in James' eyes after he yelled at him. How did everything go so wrong, so fast?

"No one mourns the Wicked!
Now at last, he's dead and gone!
Now at last, there's joy throughout the land"

She Will Be Loved - Maroon 5

She had been beside him since the doctor's finally let visitor's come in. Logan and Carlos had been in and out of the room, torn between watching over Kendall and James, because the two were never in the same room now. James avoided Kendall's room at all costs.

"C'mon Kendall, wake up. You can't leave us…" she whispered in his ear. She had always heard that people in comas are supposed to be able to hear everything going on, they just couldn't respond. She hoped he could hear her, and that he would remember it was her that had been with him this whole time.

She knew about him and James. It took on stern look at Logan for him to spill everything to her. Apparently Camille wasn't the only one to make him uneasy.

And she knew that this was James' fault. And she would never forget that, or forgive him for it. Kendall was hers, or so she had ranted to herself, sitting alone in the room. James didn't even care enough to try to support Kendall after all that had happened.

"Mmmm…" Kendall moaned, seemingly in the midst of a horrible dream. She was at his side in an instant, ready for him to be back in her arms and full of life.

"I'm here Kendall, can you hear me? Everything is going to be just fine…" She knew he was calling out for something and strained to hear him.

"Nnnhmm… James…sorry…"

Jo never came back to the hospital after that day.

True Love Way - Kings of Leon

Logan literally ran into Jo on her way out. Well, she ran into him actually. He tried asking her what was wrong, if she was being forced to leave or something. She just yelled that he should ask Kendall.

But, Kendall can't answer questions... Unless… Logan was never very good with sarcasm.

When he got to the room, he really did think Kendall was awake. He was about to run out to find the others when he noticed Kendall's eyes were closed. So Logan went over to the side of the bed to try to figure out what Kendall was saying and how it could possibly have made Jo leave.

He should have known that there would be only one thing that Kendall would worry about, and that one thing would be the same one thing that had any chance of making Jo run from the hospital.

The Crow &The Butterfly - Shinedown

James was not handling the hospital well. He never had enjoyed being in them, and being a hockey player, especially around Carlos, meant lots of trips to the hospital. But this time it was different.

James had been too late. He knew it. If he had just not agreed to go out with Logan and Carlos, if he would have just danced with one less guy, or not stopped to get one of their numbers, he would have gotten home in time.

Kendall had wanted to hurt himself because of James. And James had left Kendall alone like this. It was all James' fault, starting with the kiss and now leading to Kendall dying.

I never thought you would slip away…

This Is The End - Relient K

"James, you have to come now. It's Kendall. He's… Just come on!" Logan had been trying to pry James out of the chair for fifteen minutes now. The taller boy easily held on with his longer arms and legs. "James, he needs you, just come see!"

"No. This is the end and it's all my fault; I don't need to see what I've caused. I saw him once, that's all I need." James was determined to not to see Kendall as pale and helpless as he had been that first day in the hospital. Either he would lose Kendall, or Kendall would get better. Until one of those happened, James vowed to not go near him.

"But James, he's calling for you. Not me or Carlos, not even Jo, he's calling for you. This is only the end if you want it to be."

Wonderful - Wicked Soundtrack

He's calling for me. That's all James could think about. Sure enough, as he sat beside Kendall, James could hear his name repeated, over and over, as if Kendall was trying to use it as a life line. It's me he's thinking about, not his family or himself, me.

And that's when James realized the truth: he never planned this. This was just how the world worked, throwing horrible things at people when they weren't ready. The only option is to not get carried away, to not get hooked by depression.

"James…ve y….ch…" Kendall panted as he thrashed about in the coma. "Lov… ou s…uch…" And James had his second realization: Kendall loved him. And not just as a brother, Kendall wouldn't be dreaming about a brother while in a coma.

I love you too Kendall.

Lonely Road - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

James knew that Kendall's recovery would be painful. Most likely, when he woke up, he wouldn't remember dreaming or anything he said while in the coma. And James knew it would be lonely, taking up the job of staying with Kendall constantly.

But that wasn't going to stop James. He would fight for Kendall until his dying breath. And he knew that, even if the road was long and lonely at times, everything would work out.

He just had to be patient. When Kendall woke up, James would have to be there for him, to tell him everything would be ok, and that he was sorry. Sorry for all that he caused, for not being there for Kendall when he really needed it.

"So take this seed and let it grow"

In One Ear - Cage The Elephant

Both James and Kendall were known for being stubborn. When Kendall finally woke up, 3 weeks after being hospitalized, the two were quickly finding out just how stubborn they could be. James wanted to care for Kendall's every need, but Kendall wanted to prove to the doctors that he was getting better.

In the end, the two would just ignore each other, letting everything go in one ear and out the other, simply going on with what they thought was right. To Logan and Carlos, it was hilarious, because it often led to Kendall halfway dressed in the hall yelling at James who was chasing him with a pair of pants.

"Just let me help you Kendall! The doctor said you don't need to be over exerting yourself so much."

"It's a pair of pants James. I think I can put my pants on without 'over exerting' myself!"

Something She Said - Civil Twilight

But just because the two were talking did not mean they had made up yet. James had told Kendall he would help him recover, but had backed out of the full speech he had prepared about being sorry. And Kendall, after waking up to James sleeping in his lap as he laid across the bed, knew that James cared but couldn't figure out how much.

One day, as James sat trying to arrange Kendall's clothes in the dresser, Kendall came back from his routine walk with the doctors with an odd look on his face.

"Hey Ken-ken, what's up?" James made sure to watch Kendall now, afraid something would go wrong again and Kendall would break down. James now knew every possible sign Kendall had, but this was different.

"I just saw Jo. She was… Upset." Nothing new there, thought James. He had heard the story from Logan about her leaving the hospital. But then why is she back? "She said something intresting."

How To Save A Life - Snow Patrol

"No Kendall! That's not it at all!" Leave it to her to tell him about those first few weeks… James knew Kendall would have to be told about it at some point, but he hoped it would be after they left the hospital. Maybe longer, after he was sure their relationship was on steady ground.

"Oh, you just didn't feel like seeing me then? If you didn't care you could at least admit it." Jo had told Kendall that James never went into the hospital room, that he would find somewhere on the other side of the building to hide out in.

"I did care it's just… I couldn't… I didn't know how to help you. It felt like it was all my fault." And it still does. But I can't admit that just yet.

"Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend

Somewhere along in the bitterness.

And I would have stayed up with you all night

Had I known how to save a life."

Well, that last bit didn't really go how I thought it would. Rather "meh-ish" to me. What do you all think? Should I add another chapter to finish it?

I swear I'll try to be better at updating. I think I'm going to start a general plot collection next, and finally work out all these random thoughts I have.

So, review in the mean time, they make me want to write more!