Disclaimer: I don't own one piece; though I wish I did.

Sanji: you may not own one piece, but you own my heart, mademoiselle.

SS: Eh?

Sanji: MELLORINE! She's so cute when she's confused! *eyes turn into love hearts*

SS: get off stage dimwit; you don't come in until later on!

Sanji: as you command! (Twirls off)

SS: I just want to say a great big THANK YOU to all my supporters and reviewers out there! I love you! Well, ok, not in that kind of way...

Chapter 6 - Teachers Imposters and Cooking Lessons

Morning came and sunlight began to filter through the blinds in Lynn's bedroom. She turned uncomfortably in her sleep. Her friends had removed her alarm clock from the room to ensure she got recommended sleep, after the events from the day before. But it was a school day, and it was only natural for her to be stirring at this time in the morning. Lynn just felt something wasn't right and that something made her completely unable to keep sleeping. She awoke and sat up, rubbing her eyes. As memories of the previous day flooded back, she immediately panicked.

"Luffy!" she cried, leaping out of bed and dashing straight down to the guest room he was staying in. she simply had to see if he was alright. Bursting into the room without even knocking, she caught Luffy off guard. The poor pirate captain was trying to put on his trousers when the female intruder shocked him.

"Wo-woah!" he yelled as he tripped over a trouser leg and fell flat onto his face. He lay in a pitiful heap on the ground as both Lynn and Zoro began to laugh. The swordsman was already dressed was leaning against the wall.

"Glad to see you're alright," he smirked. "Lively and rude as usual. Sure recovered fast, you did."

"What are you doing?" Luffy looked up from the floor with a pout on his face. "Don't just barge in, I'm trying to get dressed!"

"Sorry, sorry!" Lynn couldn't stop smiling. She was relieved on seeing Luffy was alright. In a way, she always knew nothing could really happen to him, but she was just so worried for some reason.

"Yeah, good morning and everything, but you think you could get out now?" Zoro gave a yawn. "A guy needs his privacy."

Lynn laughed, but left the room after apologizing yet again. Then she realised something. Wasn't Luffy putting on his school clothes?

"Hey, are you coming with me to school again?" Lynn burst into the room and like last time, Luffy went crashing to the floor again.

"What's the big idea?" Luffy gritted his teeth. He couldn't seem to be able to put on his trousers in peace.

"You're coming today, too?"

"Yeah! Yesterday was fun!"

Lynn blinked. No one had ever called school 'fun' before. Either this guy was crazy or he was being bribed. She thought back to the way he scoffed the school dinner at lunch, and thought maybe it was both.

"You shouldn't go to school today," Zoro said. "Your friend told us to let you get rest before she left last night."

"You mean Miriam?"

"Yeah, whatever her name was."

If were any normal day, Lynn have agreed to staying off without hesitation, as she'd prefer anything to school, but she was touched by Miriam's consideration, and didn't want to skip school and make her friend worry. Plus, she was feeling much better. "It's all right," Lynn said, though deep down she was thinking she must be crazy to give up a chance of skiving. "I'll be fine."

"If that's the case, then I think you might as well take Luffy with you." said Zoro. "You said he offended a tough guy, didn't you? And he thinks Luffy's your relative, so who's he going to take his anger out on when he can't find him?"

"Oh..." Lynn realised he had a point. Luffy had stood up and pulled his trousers up, finally. "Right then," she grabbed him by the arm before he could do up the zipper. "You're coming to be my bodyguard today." Luffy was caught off balance and fell over again. Realising her fault, she quickly let go and backed out of the room, smiling innocently whilst Zoro laughed at them. She closed the door and let out a sigh of relief.

"Oh, hey," Lynn turned to the voice's source and saw Nami approaching her. "You feeling alright?"

"Um, yeah, thanks." Lynn was somewhat surprised. Nami had a different aura around her. The day before, she had been suspicious and cold, yet today... she seems to have changed her attitude towards Lynn.

"Hey, you know what?" Nami produced a sack from behind her back and thrusted it into her arms. "Take this."

Lynn opened the bag and found it was half filled with glistening gold. She grinned happily.

"Yeah, he's our captain so it's really our responsibility to feed him, isn't it?"

Lynn just smiled. It was true, but she knew Nami hadn't split her all this gold for just that reason. She didn't know what her other motives might be, but she could sense that Nami meant no harm. "Thank you."

The two smiled at each other. "Why don't I show you around town later today?" suggested Lynn. "I bet you'll just love the clothes and accessories from our world!"

Nami laughed. "You know, I think this could be the beginning of friendship!" they both cracked up at that for some reason, and just couldn't stop laughing for a long time.

Before they set off for school, Lynn first of all explained to Nami and Zoro some of the main rules in current day, and she was ever so relieved when they understood everything snappily; unlike a certain dimwit who Lynn had to spend all her time keeping a leash on.

"Why do you like school Luffy?" Lynn asked Luffy curiously as they headed for school. "What's good about it?"

Luffy grinned. "Everything!" but after a small pause he added, "but those girls were kind of scary though..." he thought back to when his fan-club almost suffocated him.

Lynn wondered whether after that P.E class, his fans have multiplied or become keener, and it turned out it was actually both, as they soon found out.

The moment Lynn and Luffy stepped into the classroom for registration, they were greeted by a crowd of eager fan-girls. Luffy panicked, and looked around for a place to hide. When he couldn't find anywhere to duck into, he turned, and ran for dear life.

"WAAAIIT!" the girls shouted, giving chase, and Lynn could hear their enthusiastic screaming all the way down the hall. Ok, they were much more passionate than yesterday.

"Oh dear," Lynn muttered simply, and took her seat. She noticed Miriam wasn't here yet, which was surprising as usually it was Lynn who was always late. On looking around, neither could she detect Cain, which was relief, as it meant he was probably bunking off today. Lynn yawned, and sat back in her chair, listening to the chase outside in the corridor, and sometimes catching a glimpse of a terrified Luffy scampering past the open door. She was tempted to go and help him, but figured she'd only be run over by the stampede.

Luffy sprinted as fast as he could, but the gang of crazy girls seemed to just get nearer and nearer. The unfamiliar hallway wasn't an advantage either. Eyes widening in horror, Luffy realised he was headed towards a dead end. He stopped, searched for a way out frantically, but realised it was too late, and cowered as the girls swarmed over him.

Minutes later, the fan-girls walked back into the room with an imprisoned Luffy among them. Lynn laughed and watched them as they surrounded him, firing questions and expressing affection. Luffy tried many failed attempts to escape and finally, scared stiff, he could do nothing but endure the horror.

The bell for registration saved his life, and he scuttled out of the crowd as soon as their attentions shifted. Seating himself beside Lynn, he tried to shrink into the chair.

"They're scary…" he muttered.

Lynn just laughed. The great pirate captain was intimidated by a bunch of girls! The class settled as Miss Rose walked into the room, register in hand. She sat down in her teachers' seat, and moments later, Miriam burst into the room, huffing and puffing, gasping for breath, and obviously rushed to get to school.

"I'm sorry I'm late, miss!" she said. "And by the way, Lynn and Luffy will be off today, because they caught the flu."

Miriam was bewildered at the laughing that broke out as soon as she'd finished, wondering what on earth was so funny. That's when she noticed Luffy grinning at her from back of class and Lynn waving sheepishly. Miriam flushed red.

"Well, um, they're here, fit and well." Miss Rose was bemused, and gestured for Miriam to take her seat.

Not in the least pleased at making a fool of herself, Miriam walked over to Lynn, and demanded in a whisper. "I thought you were staying off today?"

Lynn just giggled, and Miriam sat down, grumbling to herself. She was glad Lynn was unharmed and cheerful, but was slightly cheesed that she hadn't been told of the change of plan. As Miss Rose finished calling out names from the register, she departed, and the class waited until she was out of sight before letting the noise rouse. Luffy noticed his fan-club beginning to rise from their seats, and freaked out. He quickly darted away from them, but was caught and hauled back forcefully.

Lynn laughed at them, but that was before she noticed that two girls were holding tightly onto Luffy's two arms, and both were trying to pull him over.

"He's with me!" said the girl holding onto his right arm.

"No, he's with me!" said Jess, who held onto his left. Both girls glared at each other, and the tug of war began.

Lynn jumped up in alarm. If this kept up, the fan-club would know about Luffy's secret! Signalling to Miriam, the two rushed over to help Luffy out. But their arrival just made the fan-girls even more competitive. Pulling and tugging, now in two teams, the fans held onto Luffy's arms firmly. Luffy could feel his arms stretching slightly at the tension, and Lynn panicked.

"Wait wait wait!" she cried, waving her arms about. Realising she was being ignored, and seeing Luffy's arms beginning to extend, she took a harsher action. Lynn hurried to Luffy's right arm and literally pried off the attached fingers, and gestured to Miriam that she was to do the same on his other arm. When the source of the force on his arms was removed, Luffy snapped his arms back into place and jumped away. A few of the fan-girls blinked in surprise, as they could have sworn they saw Luffy's arm stretch and retract.

Jess was the first to speak out. "Did he just… stretch?"

Lynn panicked and shook her head fiercely, completely rejecting the idea. "No no! Of course not! You must be seeing things! How could someone stretch?" she laughed awkwardly, and backed away. "My! Will you look at the time! We'd better get to class!" with another fake laugh, she yanked Luffy out of the classroom with her.

Jess and the others stared after her, and wondered what on earth was with her strange attitude. But they laughed it off in the end. After all, there's no way someone could really stretch like rubber!

Sanji leant against the side of the Going Merry, smoking and looking out to sea. "Where are you, Nami-swan?" he frowned and puffed out.

"This isn't good," Usopp stressed, walking around in circles on deck. "Everyone's disappearing!"

"Oh, Nami-swan must be terrified without me by her side," Sanji said dreamily.

"I doubt it. And aren't you worried about Luffy or Zoro?"

"Why the hell would I be worried about those two nutcases?"

"Damn it love-cook! They could be abducted for all we know! And with their brains, they'll probably sit and drink tea with the abductors!"

Sanji sniggered. "Sounds like something they would do!"

Usopp felt irritated at Sanji's care-free attitude.

"Never mind long-nose-kun," smiled Robin from her folding chair. "He's probably worrying as well deep down."

"MELLORINE! Whatever you say Robin-chwan!"

"G-guys?" Usopp called with a shaky voice, pointing at something which made him turn white with terror. Both Robin and Sanji turned and their eyes widened at what they saw. A large, flat glistening circle of light, almost two meters in diameter, stood before them at the other side of deck. It had appeared from nowhere.

"Isn't that the thing Captain-san went into?" Robin stared. "Am I right, cook-san?"

Sanji walked over and circled the light curiously. It was much bigger than the one they had seen before and didn't have any sort of pull or suction. Perhaps that was because of its sheer size. It looked exactly the same on both side and was almost as thin as a piece of paper. He stuck a hand through it, and instead of appearing on the other side, it disappeared completely.

"I'm going to have a look," decided Sanji, stepping forward.

"NO!" cried Usopp, cowering behind Robin's chair. "It's dangerous!"

"I'll just have a quick look and I'll be right back."

"Be careful cook-san," warned Robin.

"Yes! Robin-chwaan! I'll stay safe just for you!"

Usopp slapped his forehead. Sanji took a deep breath and stepped through. Seconds later, the light dimmed and pulsed and Robin and Usopp gaped in shock as it simply sucked in on itself and disappeared into thin air. Sanji was nowhere in sight. They were still in a daze when Chopper emerged from lower deck, stirring a small bowl of medicine.

"Sanji, can I get another spoon please?" he called without looking up. On hearing the uncanny silence he lifted his head and sniffed and air, crinkling his blue nose. "Eh? Where's Sanji?"

"SANJI GOT EATEN BY THE LIGHT!" Usopp screamed, freaking out. Then he fainted and collapsed on the floor.

"Oh dear," muttered Robin calmly.

"ARH!" Chopper dropped his bowl and threw his petite arms up in the air in panic. "Usopp collapsed! Doctor! DOCTOR! Wait, that's me." He dashed over to the unconscious Usopp and began to nurse him.

"Hmm..." Sanji eyed the area cautiously. "Well this is... different..."

He stood in the middle of a parking space behind a huge building, rather confused. Never in his life had he seen such strange monsters made from metal. Were they weapons of some sort? Was he in some sort of enemy base? He approached one of them and circled it curiously.

"What is this thing?" he wondered aloud, giving it a kick. The blaring alarm made him jump back in shock. It was an alarm system? No matter what it was, he didn't like the sound of it and turned to go back into the portal. He blinked; once, twice. It was gone. Now, that wasn't good…

"Oi, what are you doing?" a voiced demanded from behind. Sanji turned, and saw a middle aged man advance towards him, scowling. "Pesky kid," the man muttered. "I pop to the toilet for one minute and there's someone trying to vandalise my property." He was short and stubby, and had only a few wisps of silver hair on his otherwise bald head. His rough features and grumpy attitude reminded Sanji of a boar. On the pocket of his dark suit, Sanji noticed, clipped a name card, which read: Mr. Parker. The man named Mr. Parker glowered at Sanji some more before fishing out a key-like item from his pocket and aiming it at the screaming metal case. With the press of a button, the noise stopped, and peaceful silence swept over the area.

Sanji watched this carefully. "Interesting." He thought. "For some reason I think I'm not on the grand line anymore."

"Excuse me, what is this place?" Sanji asked the man, taking a puff on his cigarette. The man didn't answer, and instead grew furious.

"SMOKING!" he cried, snatching away Sanji's smoke and throwing it on the ground. "This is a high school, not a pub! Now get back to class before I report you to your teacher!"

"Why you…" Sanji's expression twisted into a snarl. Having his cigarette snatched was one the things he hated most. Overcome by his anger, he flung up his leg and knocked the man to the ground. "Stupid old fart!" Then he straightened his tie and lowered his leg. And that's when he noticed Mr. Parker wasn't moving. He had been knocked out, cold.

"I didn't kick him that hard," muttered Sanji, edging away. He hadn't meant to knock the man out. Noticing a set of double doors on the far side of the building, he headed towards them. He got out another cigarette and preparing to strike a match, he thought about what the strange man had said, and frowned. What was a 'high school'?

"Whatever it is, it was no reason to ruin a perfectly good-" Sanji stopped as he pushed open the doors. 30 pairs of eyes fixed on him. He stood in the back of a room filled with kids, no older than 12 or 13. They stood around chatting, but had fallen silent when Sanji entered. Sanji gave the room a quick look around. The room was very large, and had two exits; one near the front of the room, and the other was the double doors Sanji had just walked through himself. There were over 15 worktops, each with an accompanying cooker, and different utensils lying on the desktops. Sinks and cupboards were positioned around the room, and health advice posters hung on the walls. It was a kitchen, yet somehow different…

"Are you the new supply teacher?" a boy asked, looking straight at Sanji. Sanji put away his unlit smoke and approached the kids, hoping to maybe get some answers from them.

"And… if I was?"

"Then you're late," the boy frowned. "Our lesson started 10 minutes ago."

Sanji stared at him. "So you mean, cooking lesson? As in learning how to cook?" He frowned at the class's nodding. So he had to teach them how to cook? Interesting, but he didn't really have time to be messing around with kids…

"I'm so sorry I'm late!" a sweet female voice came from behind as the doors opened. Sanji turned. The girl stopped on seeing him. She was about 18 years of age, with long brunette hair and sparkling green eyes. Sanji had to bite his tongue to stop himself from shouting 'Mellorine' and scaring the poor girl off. The girl tilted her head as she looked curiously at this young man before her. Tall, blonde, and handsome, no older than 19 or 20. This couldn't be the new supply teacher, could it? "Hi, I'm Helen," she introduced herself. "I'm from the local sixth form and I've been sent as an assistant for the new supply teacher. Are you him?"

"Yes, that's me." Sanji lied, but he had a good reason to. Well, it was a good reason for him.

Helen was surprised, and she laughed. "Well, nice to meet you. I've never seen a supply teacher as young as yourself!"

Sanji approached her with a playful smile. "And I, mademoiselle," he said, taking her hand and gently kissing it. "Have never seen a woman as beautiful as yourself."

Wolf whistles arouse in the room. Helen blushed, and shifted on her feet; speechless. Sanji straightened up and clapped his hands together.

"Alright then," he said. "As a 'supply teacher' what do I do?"

"You don't need to do a lot today," a young girl grumbled. "It's a theory lesson today. We have to do a few pages from our workbook."

Sanji blinked. "Workbook?"

The girl handed him a thick booklet and Sanji flicked through it quickly. There were tons of information and question sheets to do with different nutritious foods. Sanji rolled his eyes at how boring it looked.

"You do this crap in a 'cooking lesson'?" he snorted, tossing it aside. "You're kidding. Compared to this, the shitty old fart went easy on me." He thought back to chef Zeff back at the Baratie. "You guys are trainee chefs, right?" he said. "Then you should concentrate on practical work, and not waste your time with rubbish."

"It's all rubbish if you ask me." Said a young boy with dark hair, accompanied by mutterings of agreement.

"Is that your attitude towards cooking?" demanded Sanji, somewhat annoyed. "Don't you feel pride in bring the joy of food to others?"

"You sound like you're a pro or something," snorted a girl. Everyone knew that although they taught classes, teachers couldn't really cook. Especially not supply ones.

"And who says I'm not?" questioned Sanji, making everyone fall silent.

A few moments later, another boy broke the silence. "Yeah right," he rolled his eyes. "If you're so great, show us."

"I don't see why not," said Sanji, accepting the challenge. "But if I show you, you all have to shut your stinking traps and bow down to me."

The kids laughed at his response. This new supply teacher was different. He took a more interesting approach to things. And they liked it! He seemed much more fun than any teacher they'd had before. Helen hesitated, but she smiled, as the kids seemed to be happy. And it was a cooking lesson!

"But we don't have much cooking ingredients," Helen said, opening and peering into the fridge at the front of the room. "What can you make?"

Sanji smirked. "Watch and learn." He went over to the fridge and made a quick scan.

Half a carton of milk, small packages of meat, some butter and cheese, and some random fruits and vegetables. Sanji lugged almost everything out of the fridge and heaved it onto a work top as everyone crowded around, wondering what on earth he'll do with such scattered, unprepared ingredients. He then checked all the cupboards, and brought out pots of flour, sugar, salt, herbs and spices, and such. Finally, he gathered many plates and saucers, and pots and pans.

Helen was about to ask if he required assistance, but held her tongue. This man looked like business, and a clumsy assistant like her would just get in his way. Setting out the chopping boards and bowls, he flashed her a smile.

Then he began. And everyone's jaws dropped. His hand moved at insane speeds, peeling and chopping up vegetables, and slicing meat. Instead of carefully measuring everything out like previous teachers did, he chucked all his ingredient and seasonings as if he couldn't care less, although anyone could tell he actually put much thought into his preparations and knew what he was doing. Turning on the hob, he placed a few pots and pans on, and as he cooked, flames arouse from the saucepans, dancing around and threatening to scorch the food if he wasn't careful. Now this was a real cooking expert!

After an amazingly short amount of time, the food was ready, and Sanji set his work down onto the worktop, neatly laid and set. He dusted his hands off and beamed at the aw-struck kids. Nobody could utter a word. They all stood and gaped at the phenomenal before them. A whole table full of gorgeous deluxe.

"W-WOW!" the kids began to applaud and even started to drool at the dazzling dishes and beautiful aroma.

One boy noticed, though, that there was still a pot on the hob, and walked over curiously. Peering inside, he saw and smelt the most luxurious soup. He eagerly snatched it off the hob and turned to show his classmates, but only to trip over his own feet with excitement. Every one gasped as the pot flew the air. Apart from Sanji that is. He shot out a leg, and catched the scorching pot with his foot, causing everyone's jaws to drop in surprise; again.

"Are you trying to kill us, boy?" he tutted, flicking up the pot balanced on his foot and onto the worktop. The boy couldn't even apologise for he was in such shock. In fact, the whole class was.

"AWESOME!" a girl broke the silence with a cheer. The rest of them followed, and they all stared at Sanji in admiration.

"You're amazing!"

"How did you do that?"

"And I thought it was just your cooking that was brilliant!"

"I want to be a chef too!"

Sanji grinned, and he looked over at Helen, who was also in awe. Pleased, he took out some cutlery and began to serve the food.

Half an hour and a good face-scoffing later, the class sat back and licked their lips. Never before had they tasted such extraordinary cooking. Begging for more and some even requesting him to teach them, they crowd around Sanji. Sanji grinned and glanced at Helen, who smiled back. His heart beat sped up when he realised just how stunning she looked.

A blast of cold wind from outside caused everyone to turn towards the doors at the back of the room. The energized chattering stopped as a groggily figure walked in, holding his head.

"Uh oh," Sanji muttered when he saw the man's face. It was Mr. Parker, whom he knocked unconscious earlier. "I think I best take my leave…" Sanji started to creep away to the other exit at the front of the room, before what the man said caught his attention.

"Sorry class. You'll never guess what happened, I was held up because I was knocked down by a crazy curly-brow kid who was smoking in the car park."

Sanji snarled and he jumped out at the man. "Who the hell are you calling curly-brow you shitty geezer?"

Mr. Parker's eyes widened in surprise on seeing Sanji, and then he grew enraged. "YOU!"

Everyone looked to and fro at Sanji and the man. It seemed like they knew each other. "Who are you?" Helen asked the man.

"I'm Mr. Parker," the man claimed. "And I'm the new Food and Nutrition supply teacher. But I was held up and made late by this stupid kid over here," he pointed accusingly at Sanji.

"You're the new supply teacher?" gasped Helen. When Mr. Parker nodded, she looked back at Sanji. "Then...?"

Sanji scowled at Mr. Parker. "You'd better be thankful I took over your job for you, you damn old fart."

Mutterings arouse in the room as the new truth sank in. The man whom they thought was the awesome new supply teacher, was actually an imposter? Mr. Parker glowered at Sanji.

"You knock me unconscious and then take my job?"

"You knocked him unconscious?" gasped the class, staring at Sanji.

"I didn't know you were so damn weak!"

The class couldn't help but laugh at this, much to Mr. Parker's irritation.

"You've wasted their lesson," he accused.

"No he hasn't." A boy stood up and defended Sanji. In fact, it was the same boy who had questioned Sanji's abilities earlier, but now had new-found respect and admiration for him. "He's an amazing cook, and I've decided, I want to be just like him when I grow up!"

"Yeah, me too!" a girl pipped up. "I want to be a chef!"

The rest of the class chattered in agreement, having found motivation from Sanji's actions and skill.

Mr. Parker snarled and shouted, "I'm still going to report you for striking an innocent man!"

"It was your fault for ruining my cigarette in the first place," Sanji argued.

"You should never smoke in school premises!"

"How the hell would I know that?"

"You're a student, it's your responsibility."

"Who ever said I was a student!"

Mr Parker stared. The children stared. Helen stared.

"If you're not the supply teacher, and you're not a student… then who on earth are you?" Helen asked.

Sanji smirked. "I'm Sanji; a cook." He said simply and headed towards the door before Mr Parker could further pursue him. But he turned back, and blew a kiss at Helen. "We'll meet again, my dearest." He said, as he slid out of the room.

Helen stared after him, and then looked at the newly inspired class. "Sanji, huh?" she thought, a smile stretching over her lips.

Sanji strolled down the school corridor, grinning to himself. He was rather pleased with his little performance. Something caught his attention, though, as he passed a room. From out side, he could see something familiar through the pane of glass on the door. Was that… a straw hat? He stopped and looked in. in the room was a class, an older class than the one he had encountered, and there was someone amongst them, sitting near the back, wearing a straw-hat on his face, whilst leaning back in his chair in a sleeping posture. That boy looked awfully familiar. That posture was awfully familiar. That hat was awfully familiar. It couldn't be… could it?

Sanji pushed open the door and walked into the room. The class and the teacher, who had stopped talking, all looked at him. There were many cute looking girls in the class, Sanji noticed, but he was too disturbed by the boy in the back to woo any of them.

"Excuse me," he muttered to the teacher, and walked straight up to the back of the classroom. A girl stared at him with her mouth open as he came near, though he didn't notice it. It was Lynn, and she recognised him immediately. She was about to say something, but Sanji had already stopped and reached out a hand to the boy with the hat. Then, with a swift movement, he swiped away the hat, and saw Luffy's sleeping face. His face scrunched up in fury instantly.

"Why you little bastard!" he snarled, and without further ado, he slammed his leg directly onto Luffy's head, knocking him off the chair, and sending the class into chaos. Panicked and concerned shouts arouse in the room all around.

"What do you think you're doing?" yelled the teacher, standing up.

Sanji didn't answer, and instead, kicked Luffy again, sending him flying to the back of class.

"Stop it!" yelled Lynn, though Sanji couldn't hear her over the noise.

Luffy stood up from the floor. He was furious. He'd been assaulted for no reason and interrupted from his sleep. He grabbed his hat, which was lying at his feet, and turned to face his attacker.

"What's was that for?" he shouted, raising a fist. "Gomu gomu no…" he stopped suddenly when he had a clear look at Sanji's face. "Sanji?"

"Damn right it's me," he scowled. "What the hell are you doing here?"

The teacher opened his mouth to shout again, but Lynn shot up before he could do so.

"Excuse us, excuse us…" she said loudly, grabbing Luffy's wrist and pushing Sanji on the back, closing the door behind them as they exited.

"What's the big idea?" Sanji demanded, turning around. On seeing Lynn, though, his anger immediately disappeared and he began to grin. "Well, hello there, mademoiselle."

Lynn rolled her eyes as she remembered Sanji's signature personality. "Look, I can explain to you why Luffy is here, but you'll have to wait till a bit later. I need to straighten things out in there first." She nodded towards the classroom door. Inside, she could hear the teacher trying to pin down the fan-girls to stop them flooding out into the corridor to see if Luffy was alright.

"Whatever you say!" said Sanji.

Before Lynn could step back into the classroom, though, Jess walked out.

She smiled calmly. "I represent the class and I just want to ask you… WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ABOUT?" she finished her sentence in a yell, running over to her dear Luffy, wrapping her arms around him and nuzzling into his shoulder. Lynn giggled awkwardly. It was only normal for Jess to be freaked out. After all, a random stranger had just walked into the room and attacked her crush. Well, more like object of obsession...

"I'm so sorry for startling you, miss," said Sanji politely to Jess, taking a small bow. "I was just extremely angry at a certain stupid bastard." He didn't look at Luffy, but she knew what he meant.

"And who are you?" Jess was surprised, as she didn't expect him to be so well-mannered after seeing him cause the ruckus in class.

"Um, this is Sanji. Luffy's cousin." Lynn lied.

"If he was my cousin, I'd shoot myself..." Sanji muttered under his breath. Lynn elbowed him in the ribs.

Luckily, Jess didn't hear this, and she seemed slightly more at ease when she heard they were relatives. She stepped back and looked both of them up and down, and assumed they were probably not blood related, for she noted, "They don't look anything alike,"

Sanji was thrilled. "Yes! I am much more handsome than that pile of shit, wouldn't you say?"

Luffy bared his teeth. "Hey, who are you calling shit?" he was obviously still mad at Sanji for kicking him in class.

"You of course," Sanji snorted.

"You take that back."

"Bite me."

Luffy snarled and leapt up to bite him. Sanji dodged out of the way, swearing.

"Don't you dare give me rabies, you bastard."

Jess leaned over to Lynn, whispering in her ear, "You've got some strange hot relatives..."

"Not sure about hot, but they're strange alright..." Lynn walked up to the two boys and shoved them apart. "Break it up, break it up." Both continued to argue.

"You listen to me, because I'm captain!"

"You shut up, because I'm the cook."

"You're getting kicked off the ship when we get back!"

"You're getting kicked into the water when we get on board."

"Curly brow!"

"Rubber bastard."

"Pervy cook!"

"Dumb asshole."

"Wanna fight?" Luffy pushed up his sleeve, running out of insults.

"Bring it on."

Unable to hold it back any longer, Lynn punched both of them hard over the head before they revealed anything else they weren't suppose to.

"WILL YOU KNOCK IT OFF?"

"He started it." They said at the same time.

Lynn took a deep breath. "Ok, please apologise to Luffy." Lynn said to Sanji, figuring he'd be the easiest to get to; and she was right.

"Yes! Anything you say!" Sanji turned to Luffy and lowered his head. "I'm very sorry, you stupid bastard."

"WHAT?"

"Shut up Luffy, or there won't be any lunch." Lynn threatened. Luffy retreated immediately. Sighing in relief, she walked back into class, dragging Jess with her, and explained everything to the class, making it up along the way. She found she was beginning to get good at this lying business; though she wasn't sure if this was technically a good thing…

"I see." Said Sanji, lighting another cigarette. He had been listening patiently to Lynn's explanations as they sat outside on the empty grass field behind the school during break time. "So this gate is what brought me here."

Lynn nodded. "Did see a small piece of wood on the ground when the portal disappeared?

Sanji thought back, but he couldn't recall such a minor detail. They decided to go back to the parking area and search, hoping it would still be there. And Lynn sighed in relief when they found it lingering just under a car bumper. It was slightly larger than the pieces they'd found before, and Lynn suspected it had something to do with the size of the portal, as this portal was supposedly quite big, according to Sanji's descriptions. As she put the piece of wood together with her pendant, both she and Sanji were startled by a piercing car alarm, screaming out in the serene yard. Turning, they saw Luffy sitting on one of the car roofs, looking bewildered.

"What?" he asked innocently, as Lynn and Sanji grabbed him and hauled him away, quickly escaping before the owner of the car came and prosecuted them.

(Yeah yeah, I know I said they were going shopping, but this chapter got sooooo damn long so I decided to put some of it into the next chapter instead. Sorry for any inconveniences! God, I sound like some out-of-order public loo...)

Also next time: Usopp steps on the scene and discovers the terrors of Halloween whilst Luffy discovers the wonders of bubble gum. And Jason gets himself a helper…

I think you'll recognise him. He's an old rival, and he hates being called a red nose…

R&R for a faster update! :D

Please please R&R!