Not Now, Ghost

Roach's façade was working out alright. He acted like the bar incident was no big deal, but it was. He just didn't feel like showcasing his stress; that wasn't his game. He had been very careful not to show any visible recognition of Ghost's attempt at getting him out of the base, especially to the Lieutenant himself. Gary treated him more or less the same as he usually did, save the bit about being a bland, unresponsive jackass. Ghost knew something was up, that was certain, but so far he had left the whole thing alone. A few days passed and no one brought the subject up. Roach didn't even apologize for nailing MacTavish in the crotch—probably because he didn't remember actually doing anything after the taut whores decided to rub their tits in his face at the bar. The Captain never brought it up.

A week after the incident, Shepherd brief them on their next mission; an operation in Russia that required the Task Force to split into teams of two. Roach was mildly unnerved at how quickly Ghost requested to be paired with him.

The Sergeant maintained complete silence throughout the entire trip to the drop-off point, only nodding and shaking his head when he was addressed.

"Roach," Ghost started, minutes after they had landed and split from the rest of the Task Force. The Sergeant slowed down and looked around at him, then out through the trees. "Patrol?"

Ghost shook his head with a snort. "No, mate. Nevermind." He waved a dismissive hand and continued on, leaving Roach to trail behind him with a suspicious air hanging over his head. 'Nevermind, my ass.' He thought bitterly, scrunching his face up behind his mask in an attempt to shake the cold off.

Neither said anything until the Lieutenant decided they would plant themselves at a small ridge and mount a pair of M14 EBRs. This was quite unlike Ghost, who was usually on the front lines, but Roach supposed that because this was a covert operation and stealth was their best friend until otherwise stated, he had opted for the quieter approach.

This, it turned out, was untrue.

"You know what I've been thinking about lately?" He asked in a low voice, glancing sideways at the lower rank. Roach shifted in the snow. "Dunno. Writing a romance novel?"

Ghost paused, a smile twitching under his balaclava as he shook his head. "No. Nice try though," He cleared his throat, one eye on his scope. "Nah, I've been thinking about what happened at the pub. How about I make up for it?" He suggested. It was Roach's turn to pause now.

"I'm fine if you don't, Ghost. Really." He said firmly, to which the Lieutenant made a noise of disapproval. "Bollocks. No one that's afraid of attractive women is fine."

Roach reared his head back to look over at Ghost, glaring through his goggles. "I've managed to survive this long with caligynephobia. It's not like it's some heart condition or brain malfunction. The hell makes you think I can't live the rest of my life with it?" He growled, turning his shoulder to face away from his Lieutenant as he put his eye back on the scope. Simon stared at him for quite some time, ignoring the obvious lack of respect for a higher rank and leaning over to nudge the other man. "You a virgin, bug?"

It took everything Gary had not to reach over and shove Ghost's headphones down his throat at the question. Instead, he immediately released his rifle in fear of accidentally pulling the trigger and leaned away from his partner. "We're on a mission, and you're worried about whether I've had sex or not?" He asked heatedly. Ghost merely watched with some kind of counted patience, waiting for an answer.

Roach's glare narrowed venomously as he lowered himself back down to look over the ridge, scowl visible under his mask. "No, I'm not a goddamn virgin." He grumbled, to which the other man nodded knowingly. A few moments of silence passed.

"…Are you gay, then?"

"Fucking serious?"

"Right, right, maybe later."

"Armed patrol approaching from the south. Team one regroup with two and three. Sniper teams are relocating; you'll be without sniper support for approximately ninety seconds." MacTavish buzzed in, to which both Lieutenant and Sergeant immediately rose to their feet and started down the hill. Once they reached level ground, crouched against several fallen trees for cover, Ghost jutted his chin out at Roach and held a hand up. "So when we get back to base, I figure we can start fixing this problem of yours as soon as possible." He spoke into his mic, even as the not-so-distant Russian cries grew louder and backed themselves with guns being loaded and the shuffling of movement in the snow. Roach flipped Simon the bird and put his attention on the white-clad men across the forest. The balaclava-sporting man went on anyway.

"First, we could try going…" He mused over the sudden burst of gunshots, making half-hearted gestures as he talked and seemingly ignoring the fact that he was being fired at. Roach was forced to listen to the crooning over his mic as he retaliated with his own shooting, finally halting his friend mid-sentence with a roaring, "NOT NOW, GHOST, NOT FUCKING NOW!"

The masked man chuckled and turned away from the frustrated Sergeant, now beginning to focus on the matter at hand. He honestly wanted to help Roach, he really did. But the man was damn hard to rile up; so when Ghost uncovered the right buttons to push in order to provoke the bug, he was all for pressing them of his own free will. No innuendo intended. He just wanted to help the guy out, and when they returned to base, that was exactly what Ghost planned to do.