Luffy: *looks around* Where's SS?
Usopp: Yeah, isn't she supposed to be here doing one of her pointless disclaimers right now?
Nami: She can't.
Luffy: Eh? Why not?
*SS runs past, screaming, and is being chased by Zoro… who's holding his three katana and slashing around like mad*
Nami: That would be why.
Usopp: So… Zoro finally found out who the writer of this crappy story was, eh?
Nami: Uh-huh, and apparently she's planning on more Zoro torture in this chapter. Hence the reason he's hunting her down.
Sanji: *pops out from nowhere* Zoro torture? REALLY? SS-chan! I'm coming to save you! *runs off*
(And, that is how I'm still alive and writing this story today. Please review! :P)
Chapter 13 – Circuses and Bad Hair Days
It was late afternoon; Zoro, Sanji, Usopp, and Luffy were at the hotel, and Lynn had sneaked back to town with Nami so they could make a move on their plan. They were now standing in front of a shelf in Boots, pondering.
"So… what colour?" asked Lynn, nudging Nami in the side gently.
"I say electric blue," she replied.
"Nah, I go for orange."
"No way."
"Aw, but then he'd be just like you!"
"More the reason. No."
"Fine. How about red?"
"That's an insult to Red-Haired Shanks..."
"What about yellow?"
"Can you imagine Sanji's fury?"
"Well, how's black?"
"Yeah! Luffy'll be so proud!"
"Oh, wait… I won't be," said Lynn, pointing at her own raven hair, "and plus, black isn't funny enough!"
"Why did you even suggest it, then? Right. Then… how about silver?"
"I prefer purple."
The girls looked around the shelf, and their eyes settled on a box near the top. Lynn grinned. Nami grinned.
"Pink it is!" they announced in unison, taking the kit to checkout.
"Stop squirming, dammit!" shouted Lynn, trying to keep Zoro's head from thrashing about. It was really annoying her that he wouldn't keep still. Even tied up and gagged, he was full of energy.
"Shh!" hushed Nami. "People can probably hear you from next door!"
"Oh, I forgot." Lynn lowered her voice. "But, you try dealing with this thing!" She smacked Zoro's head. The poor swordsman cursed and swore, extremely pissed off that he was being harassed by two girls who wanted to dye his hair.
And, the fact that he didn't know what colour just made things all the worse.
"Sanji-kun!" Nami called to Sanji, who sat smoking on the bed. "A little help, please?"
"No problem!" He rose and headed over.
Sure, he knew that the girls were only supposed to be disguising the swordsman, but since even they couldn't defy the temptation of Zoro-torture, why should Sanji say anything against it?
"Wurwy wow, wongu gare!" Zoro snarled, words muffled by the gag in his mouth. He was trying to say, 'Curly brow, don't you dare!' but of course, it didn't come out properly.
"Shut it, marimo, and let the ladies have their fun." Sanji gave him a kick to the shin.
"Gagafa blagablablah wuggle woo!"
Nobody could understand a word Zoro was trying to say, but they could tell by his expression that he was cursing Sanji's ass off.
"Don't be so rude," said Sanji, pinching Zoro's nose. The swordsman tried to head-butt him but failed. Sanji turned to Lynn and Nami, rolling his eyes. "Can I just knock him out?"
They gave him a thumbs up, and Zoro's eyes widened as Sanji's leg came down hard over his head.
"Gasward!" Zoro cried, thrashing harder than ever, a huge bump rising from the top of his head.
"God, this guy's tough," Sanji tutted, deciding to try something else. He walked over to his bag, fished something out, and walked back over to Zoro. Then he removed Zoro's gag before the two girls could protest.
"Bastard!" the furious swordsman yelled as soon as his mouth was freed. "I'm going to kill you! And, I'm going to get you two bitches back for this, too! Just you wait! What the hell are you playing at, tying me down and trying to dye my hair – what have you got against my colour? What did I ever do to—"
He was cut off his little rant when Sanji stuffed something into his mouth. He couldn't help but swallow it.
"What the hell was that, eyebrow freak? What are trying to do, dammit? Ero-cook! What did you just feed me? What—"
The gag went back into his mouth, and his cursing became muffled again. Sanji took a puff on his cigarette.
"Damn, you're a noisy thing," he snarled. Then he held out three fingers and began a countdown. "Three... Two... One..."
Zoro's eyes rolled back into his head on cue, and he slumped. Lynn and Nami blinked and looked up at Sanji.
"What did you do, Sanji-kun?" asked Nami, tilting her head.
"Drugged him," he replied. "I got this new medicine from Chopper quite a while ago; just never got the chance to try it out. It knocks people out in three seconds, and its effects last for about an hour. I think that should be long enough for you to dye his hair."
"Nice!" Nami shot him a thumbs up, and Sanji grinned, pleased.
"Can you help us prepare the dye?" asked Lynn, holding out a small bottle to him. "Just add water and mix."
Sanji nodded, took it, and walked away with a somewhat evil smile on his face.
Nami straightened Zoro's head, Lynn got out some plastic gloves, and they grinned at each other before starting.
Zoro's eyes felt heavy. He felt groggy. Tired. A weird smell penetrated his nostrils, and he sneezed. The sneeze made his head rather clearer, actually, as he now opened his eyes and looked around. Catching sight of Lynn and Nami, sitting on the edge of the nearby bed, chatting, memories of earlier events flooded back into his mind, and he grew mad.
"Bitches!" he cried, able to speak now because his gag had been removed. He was still tied to the chair, though, so he began angrily hopping around.
Lynn and Nami looked in his direction and sniggered.
"Think it's ready?" asked Nami to Lynn, and Lynn nodded.
"Now let's see the moss head's new colour! Or should I say… candy floss head!"
Zoro blinked. 'Candy floss? Oh no, they didn't...'
"You dyed my hair pink?" he screamed, struggling. He felt a towel wrapped around the top of his head, covering his hair. He tried to raise a hand and jerk it off, but couldn't move. Why pink? Out of all the colours, why oh why pink?
"Should I remove it?" sneered Sanji, leaning against the wall beside Zoro. On seeing him, Zoro's fury just grew, and he jumped up and down in the chair, trying to bounce over and squash Sanji or something.
"Just be glad we decided not to go 'Operation Bald-Swordsman'," said Lynn, rolling her eyes.
"YOU WERE PLANNING TO SHAVE MY HAIR OFF?"
Lynn nodded bluntly.
"You try to shave my hair off and I'll shave your head off, I swear!"
"Chill," said Lynn. "We abandoned the idea. Dying your hair seemed much more amusing."
"Take the towel off, Sanji-kun!" Nami grinned, and Sanji acted out her orders obediently. As soon as Zoro's new colour was revealed, the room fell silent.
Lynn blinked. Nami's jaw dropped open. Sanji stared.
And, then all three of them burst into uncontrollable laughter.
"What's so funny?" Zoro demanded, baring his teeth at the three who were rolling around on the floor in fits.
"It's... too... funny..." gasped Lynn between laughs.
"I... thought we made it... pink?" hooted Nami, wiping a tear from her eye.
"We did!" cried Lynn in stitches. "But... this is just too epic!"
Sanji couldn't even say anything. He was holding his sides, doubling over in laughter.
"What the heck is so funny?" Zoro bounced on his chair over to the bathroom and peered into the mirror. Then his jaw dropped, and he couldn't even move due to shock. Staring at the ridiculous looking person in the mirror, Zoro's fury had passed it limits now. "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO ME?"
Luffy and Usopp sat in their hotel room on their separate beds, flicking through channels on the small TV that sat on the dressing table. From next door, all they could hear was chaos and riot. Crashing and shouting, thumps and bumps, laughing and screaming…
"Sounds like they're having fun next door," muttered Usopp.
"Let's go and see what's going on!" Luffy jumped up and pulled Usopp with him into the hallway. When they opened the door to Room 44, they got the shock of their lives. Zoro and Sanji were battling away, destroying everything around them, whilst Lynn and Nami just sat and laughed. Sure, it was strange that they weren't doing anything to stop the two idiots, but what really made Luffy and Usopp gawk was Zoro. His hair was totally… horrific.
They exchanged a look.
And then completely cracked up.
Nobody could stop laughing at Zoro's new hair. It was all different shades of the rainbow; and only a hint of pink, which was the colour it was suppose to be. I mean, I bet you've seen rainbow hair before; it's weird right? But, Zoro's hair wasn't just neatly rainbow coloured. To keep a long description short, just imagine someone ate a load of different colours then barfed it back up.
Colourful puke; yes, it was that bad. There was a patch of hair completely missing on the back of his head, and that patch was also rainbow coloured, since his scalp was dyed, too. So… now he had rainbow puke hair and a rainbow puke bald patch.
Nice.
Lynn and Nami were confused as to why Zoro's hair (head, even) ended up being such a crazy mess but were cracking up too much to ask about it. Sanji fessed up after a while, though.
"Yeah, I admit it was me," he sniggered. "I just couldn't pass up the opportunity! So, err, I added some stuff to the dye that I really wanted to mix in!"
"What did you add?" asked Lynn.
"Mostly food colouring and clothes dye, but while I was at it, I added sauces, toothpaste, and God knows what else!"
Zoro sniffed the air and finally realised why his hair smelt minty and vinegary at the same time.
"That would probably be why his scalp is dyed, too," giggled Nami. "But, then how do you explain the bald patch?"
Sanji laughed. "Oh, that might be because of the tiny bit of bleach I added to the dye, too!"
Zoro now exploded. "BASTARD!"
Zoro's fury was extremely hard to contain, so Lynn left them to it. She slipped out of the hotel to go back home; those pirates could sort out themselves out.
But, as soon as she stepped through her house's back door, she regretted ever leaving the hotel.
"Lynn Elizabeth Mary Sue Vienna!" shouted Mrs. Vienna sternly, standing cross armed in the hallway, obviously expecting her arrival. "Where the heck have you been all day?"
Lynn blinked. "Since when did I have so many middle names?"
"I just made them up. Saying a load of middle names helps to take out a mother's stress."
"Oh. That's kind of retar—"
"Answer my question!"
"Err…"
Mrs. Vienna held up Lynn's 'Do Not Disturb' sign furiously. "This thing only works if you sneak out for a little while, not for a whole day!"
"Oh, I forgot. Next time when I sneak out, I'll remember to—"
"Next time? There won't be a next time! Do I make myself clear!"
"Pretty clear, ma'am," said Lynn, rubbing her almost deafened ears.
"And, what about your mobile? I've been calling it all day, and all I get is your stupid voicemail."
"I forgot to switch it on…"
"You never have it on when you're supposed to! That's it. I'm confiscating."
"What? But, I just—"
"Hand it over."
"But—"
"Now!"
Lynn grumbled a bit as she fished her mobile from her pocket and placed it into her mother's waiting hand. Mrs. Vienna put Lynn's mobile on the coffee table and went back to the questioning.
"So, where have you been all day, eh?" Mrs. Vienna narrowed her eyes.
"Um… Hanging out?"
"Where?"
"Just… places…"
"With whom?"
"Err… People…?"
Mrs. Vienna leant over Lynn with an 'any-more-cheek-and-I'll-eat-you-alive' look in her eyes.
"I-It won't happen a-again, mum," said Lynn shakily, with a sheepish smile. "I'll… um, just excuse myself…" She turned and walked away nervously, trying to make her way back to her room without being killed.
"Don't let me catch you sneaking out again, or you'll be grounded for life!" shouted Mrs. Vienna. "Now go to your ROOM!"
"That's where I'm going!" replied Lynn, breaking into a run and escaping from her terrifying mother. 'And, no way in hell am I going to let you catch me again,' she added to herself. 'I need to think of some new ways to sneak out…'
All evening, Lynn's parents threw dirty looks at her every time she walked past, but they really couldn't be blamed. If your daughter snuck out the whole day after she was grounded and tried to fool you with a crappy note, you wouldn't exactly be a 'happy bunny' either, would you?
Straight after dinner, Lynn headed upstairs to her room without a word to do some homework. Even though she hated the fact she still had to do homework whilst having to keep an eye out for a bunch of pirates and lost shards of wood, it wasn't like she could just say to her teacher, "Yo! I haven't done any homework, because I've been busy hanging out with fictional characters! Peace, dude!"
Scratching her head, she stared on her Algebra equations page. With Luffy around every day at school she found it hard to keep up with her subjects. She used to be quite good at maths, but now she was slightly behind. And, it'd only been a week!
Lynn couldn't imagine what would happen if the Straw Hats stayed for a further, much longer period of time. Sure, she enjoyed their company, but she needed an education if she wanted to earn a living; money doesn't grow out of trees, you know. Despite her laziness, Lynn wanted a future, thank you very much.
A tapping outside her window distracted her from her worries, and she went over to see what was going on.
And, she got a major surprise when she drew her curtains. A small blue feathered bird sat on her windowsill and pecked the glass, trying perhaps to break in.
"Ah! It's you, stupid bird!" cried Lynn, recognising it immediately. "You were the reason I got grounded!"
"Tweet tweeeet," corrected the bird, pecking on the glass again. (Translation: "Actually, I was the 'final straw'.")
"Don't you 'tweet tweet' me!" snarled Lynn, slapping her hand against the window.
The bird turned and flew away, with a somewhat arrogant expression on its face. Lynn drew the curtains again and went to sit back down, grumbling to herself. As soon as she touched her seat, though, the tapping on her window started up again.
So she ran to the window again, only to just catch a glimpse of that darn bird flying away. 'The stupid thing's making fun of me,' thought Lynn furiously as she went back to her seat again. But, same as last time, the tapping started again. Lynn gave off a dark aura of fury as she stomped to the window once more.
"What the heck do you want!" she shouted, pulling open the curtains sharply. All she saw was a blur of red as something fell downwards from her window and another figure on the right, steadying himself by holding onto the pipe on the side of the house, also shaken from her sudden outburst. Lynn blinked.
It was Usopp.
"What's your problem!" he demanded angrily. "You scared us!"
"…'Us'?" Lynn opened the window quickly and looked down. There, on the ground, sat Luffy, putting his hat back on. Lynn sweat dropped.
"Sorry," she apologised. "I just thought—"
"That was dangerous!" cried Usopp. "If I hadn't been holding on to this pipe, I could have fallen, too!"
"Good. Why don't you do that?" said Lynn calmly, reaching over and shoving the poor sharpshooter over. "Get off my windowsill."
Usopp cried out as he toppled to the ground and landed with a loud BOOF. "What was that for?" he demanded, wincing in pain.
Lynn was about to answer sarcastically but stopped when she heard footsteps stomping down the stairs and her parents wondering out loud what the noise outside was.
"Come on, come on, come on! Get up here now!" Lynn hissed to Luffy and Usopp, waving her hand like a maniac. Luffy nodded and one hand grabbing Usopp's waist, he stretched his other arm up to Lynn's windowsill. They flew through the window and landed on her bedroom floor just as her parents burst out of the front door to investigate. Lynn quickly closed the window and drew the curtains so her parents wouldn't get suspicious.
"Man, that was close!" exclaimed Luffy, brushing himself off and standing up.
"We should still keep quiet, though," whispered Lynn. "If my mum finds you two in here, she'll eat me alive."
"Your mum's a cannibal?" Luffy's jaw dropped in surprise.
"Yes, she's a cannibal," Lynn muttered sarcastically, rolling her eyes.
"That's awesome! I want her join my cr—"
"No. Stop right there. No. Just… No. … Right. Now tell me, what are you two doing here?"
"Oh, yeah," said Luffy, just remembering that he came over for a reason. He fumbled in his pockets and pulled out a folded sheet of paper. "See, I wanted to show you this."
Lynn took the sheet and opened it. It was a poster. "'The Crazy Circus'?" Lynn read off the caption on the top of the page. "'A fantastic experience for all ages.'"
"Doesn't it look cool?" Luffy beamed.
Lynn scanned over the exciting looking actions shots and grinned. "It looks awesome!" She looked up at Luffy. "Are you guys planning to go?"
"Yeah, we are," replied Usopp. "Luffy found the poster in the hotel lounge earlier and has been pumped up since."
"I didn't ask you," said Lynn coldly. Usopp flinched, somehow getting the message that this girl seriously didn't like him. "Why did you even come here in the first place?" Lynn continued in a grumble. "You don't need two people to show me a poster."
"Well, I had no choice," Usopp explained. "Luffy would've got lost if he came on his own, so he needed someone to come with him. Zoro's a No-No, since he's even more hopeless than Luffy when it comes to directions, and, plus, he'd probably murder you if he saw you. Sanji wanted to come, but he's too busy fighting Zoro on your behalf, and Nami couldn't be bothered to come all the way over here. So… that just leaves me."
"Oh, well, that's just great…"
"Anyway!" Luffy broke in. "About the circus! Nami said she couldn't get through to you on your mobile, so she sent me over to show you the poster. We were thinking of going tomorrow evening; you wanna come?"
Lynn grinned. "Definitely! I haven't seen a circus in years! I'm so in!"
"Aren't you grounded?" Usopp raised an eyebrow.
Lynn turned to him with an icy glare. He shivered, almost feeling the cold. "I'll think of something," Lynn said frostily. "Don't bummer my enthusiasm."
"O-okay…" He shivered again.
"So, are you coming, then?" Luffy asked excitedly.
"You bet I am!" beamed Lynn, breaking her bitter aura.
Luffy and Lynn both cheered and slapped a high-five, whilst Usopp was busy trembling from Lynn's previous iciness in a corner.
After Lynn saw Luffy and Usopp off (escaped from her window), she sat back in front of her table with a smile, getting ready to finish her homework. But, just as she picked up her pen, there was another tapping on the window.
"What, did you forget something?" Lynn went over to the window and drew the curtains, thinking it was Luffy or Usopp, but it wasn't.
"You again!"
"Twee-twee-eet!" (Translation: "I'm baa-ack!")
Lynn glowered at the little blue bird whilst opening the window. The two, human and bird, had a little stare down, kind of like what Zoro and Sanji always do, but suddenly Lynn felt a strange sensation under her T-shirt.
She looked down and noticed her pendant was pushing against her clothing; there must be a wood shard nearby! Ignoring the bird for a second, she fished out her pendant and held it up to see whereabouts it was pointing to, and her jaw fell open when she saw that it was pointing directly at that damn little bird.
"H-how?" stuttered Lynn. There wasn't a shard stuck in the bird's feathers, and there wasn't one caught on its feet or beak. Then…? "Oh… no, please don't tell me…"
"…Tweet?" (Translation: "…Eh?") The bird stared at Lynn. Why was that human carrying such a startled and horror-struck expression?
Lynn held the pendant closer to the bird, and sure enough, like she expected, it pointed straight to its stomach. Right, so now it was confirmed…
"You idiot!" screamed Lynn, grabbing the poor bird suddenly. "You did not just eat the GATE SHARD!" She pinched the bird by its feet and shook it up and down in frenzy. "Spit it out, spit it out, spit it oouuut!"
"Tw—eeeeeegh!" The bird made many un-bird-like noises whilst being tortured by this crazy girl. Compared to this, being strangled by Luffy for ripping his hat was gentle handling.
"Wood is not food! You do not eat wood! Wood! Not for eating! Wood! No eat! Gaah! No eat! No! Bad birdie! Bad!"
Lynn was completely freaking out. None of what she was saying made sense, even to herself. She didn't even understand why she was freaking out so much. All that went through her mind at the moment was 'Wood! Gone! Eaten! Must kill!'
"Baad evil biirrddy ofDOOOOOOOM!"
As soon as those words left her mouth even Lynn herself felt a complete and utter idiot. She paused and took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. God, being stressed out made her do stupid things.
Finally, thinking a bit more clearly, Lynn placed the bird back on the windowsill. The poor thing couldn't even stand up or tweet anymore; it was half dead.
"Right, I need to get that gate shard out somehow…" muttered Lynn to herself. "So, the most rational way is…" She went over to her pencil case and fumbled around. The bird lifted its head weakly to see what the crazy girl was up to this time, and it had a total heart attack when it saw what Lynn carried with her as she walked back.
A pair of scissors.
"TWAAAHHH!" (Translation: "OH MY HOLY GOD SHE'S AFTER ME!") Horror struck, the bird scampered, flopped out of the window, and fell straight downwards.
"Wait!" shouted Lynn after the bird. "Don't commit suicide yet! Let me get the wood shard out first!"
She leant out of the window and pouted as she watched the bird spread its wings quickly and soar away. Well, there went her shard of wood.
Letting out a disappointed sigh, she closed her window and went over to her bed to lie down and figure out what on earth to do next.
The bird, on the other hand, was sighing in pure relief. It had finally escaped hellishness, and it had only one thought repeating through its mind as it flew away speedily. 'Never go near that evil girl again. Never go near that evil girl again…'
Sunday morning came before she knew it, and Lynn tossed in her bed uncomfortably, questions from the night before flooding back into her head. How was she going to retrieve that wood shard? And, how was she going to sneak out tonight?
She had just woken up, and she was already stressed. And, geez, being stressed first thing in the morning was not good for her; not one bit.
Lynn jumped out of bed groggily and checked her alarm clock; 8 AM, not too late. She wanted to quickly pop over to the hotel to confirm the circus times for this evening with Nami. Normally this would have been settled by a phone call, but her idiot-mother had confiscated her mobile.
Pulling on her clothes from yesterday and also grabbing a white baseball cap from inside her closet, Lynn figured it would help her get on Zoro's good side.
Or at least help ease his hatred for her a bit.
Lynn then headed down stairs, only to run into her mum in the kitchen.
But, luckily for her, Lynn's mum was also dozy in the morning.
"Wher'you go…ing?" yawned Mrs. Vienna sleepily, cup of coffee in hand, obviously just gotten up.
"To fetch the newspaper," Lynn muttered, going out of the front door without further ado.
"Oh, okay. Don't'ake long," Mrs. Vienna agreed, drowsily slurring together 'don't' and 'take'. She walked to the dining table, sat down, and took a sip of her coffee. And, then she blinked and frowned.
"But, we don't get the newspaper…"
Lynn ran straight over to the hotel where the Straw Hats were staying and went upstairs to Nami's room without a pause.
"Hey, Nami?" Lynn poked her head through Nami's door. Nami was sitting on her bed, reading a magazine, and she lifted her head at the sound of Lynn's voice.
"Lynn!" Nami got up and went over, a slightly irritated look in her eyes. "What the hell happened to your phone? I was calling it all last night, and all I got was your stupid 'Please leave a message after the tone; BEEEEP' thing!"
"Oh, that would be my voicemail. My mum confiscated my phone."
"Well, you could have told me!"
"Yeah. How? My phone got confiscated!"
"Well, you could have—" Nami sighed. "Never mind. What do you want?"
"Just wondering what time I should meet you guys for the circus tonight."
"I thought you were grounded."
Lynn rolled her eyes. "Why does everyone like to kill my enthusiasm so much? I'll think of something!"
"Alright, alright. The show starts at 7:30; come over to the hotel at about 6 PM."
"Right."
Nami paused and thought for a second before saying, "What's your house phone number?"
"Eh?"
"Your house phone. I know you have one. Give me the number."
"Why?"
"You'll see tonight."
"You know I hate people being all mysterious…?" Lynn rolled her eyes but wrote down the number for Nami, anyway, on a piece of scrap paper.
"Shouldn't you be getting back home now?" asked Nami, putting the paper in her pocket. "You're sneaking out again, aren't you?"
"Well, actually, I walked straight out of the front door."
Nami raised an eyebrow.
"But… Yeah, I should be getting back now. I'm just going to quickly pop over to Zoro's room before I go, though."
"…Good luck with that…"
"Helloo-o," said Lynn, poking her head in through his door cautiously.
Inside, Zoro and Sanji were standing in the middle of the room having a 'Who-has-the-scariest-look-on-their-faces' competition. When they heard Lynn, the competition ended. Sanji burst into a smile and turned to her, while Zoro burst into an 'Oh-so-you-came-to-die' scowl and turned to her, too.
"What can I do for you today, Lynn-chwan?" Sanji asked cheerfully.
"Oh, I just wanted to talk to Zor—"
"What the hell do you want?"
Lynn flinched at the aggression in Zoro's voice. "I-I come in peace," she said nervously.
"Lynn-chan is so cute when she acts all innocent!" Sanji began to do his little noodle dance.
Lynn sweat dropped. "Um, don't you have some cooking to do downstairs?"
"Oh… Yeah." Sanji headed over to the door but before leaving said goodbye to Lynn and hissed a load of insults and threats at Zoro. Then he closed the door before the swordsman could retort.
"Hurry up, and what do you want?" Zoro turned back to Lynn with a scowl.
"I just wanted to give you this." Lynn handed him the white baseball cap. "Something to cover your… um, hair with."
Zoro took the cap, raising an eyebrow somewhat suspiciously. He really didn't trust this girl. First, she goes and stupidly loses his katana, and after he goes through all that trouble to retrieve them, she goes and tells him off. Then she uses the excuse to disguise him to screw up his hair. He had a good reason to want to kill her.
"…Are you still mad?"
"What do you think?"
Lynn smiled sheepishly. "Well, at least the police won't recognise you anymore! And… Rainbow puke hair and a bald patch don't look that bad…"
She was forced to back out of the room with a katana shoved up against her neck.
"Well, I can tell that certainly went well," sniggered Nami, leaning against the wall. The door slammed shut in Lynn's face. "You do know he still wants to kill you, right?"
"Like I haven't noticed…"
"But, he's especially angry today. Know why?"
Lynn shook her head and Nami went to whisper in her ear, giggling slightly. After Nami pulled back, Lynn blinked and stared at her for a second before bursting into hysterics.
"Hahahahahaha! The dye won't come off? Haha! Zoro's going to stay rainbow-puke haired forever! Hahah—"
Lynn's laughter was cut short as a katana blade pierced through the wooden door behind her and shot past her cheek, only just missing her flesh. The blood drained from her face as she cast a horrified look at the sharp blade next to her face, and she gulped.
"Zoro, you're going to have to pay for that, too," said Nami, examining the damage done to the door.
"I think I'm going to go home now…" Lynn muttered, walking away shakily.
Lynn popped into the newsagents on her way home to buy a random newspaper. Then, newspaper in hand, she walked home confidently, planning what she was going to do when she got there. As she expected, her mum was waiting when she entered the house.
"Lynn, where have you—"
Lynn held up her newspaper, cutting off her mum's question as she walked through the front door.
"But, you're grou—"
"This is a resource for my English homework."
"Well, why did you take so—"
"There was a massive queue."
"…Did you prepare how you were going to answer or som—"
"Yes, I did."
"You're getting—"
"Annoying?"
"… …Yes."
"Well, annoying little me is going upstairs to do my homework now, so do not disturb, thank you very much." Lynn began to make her way up to her room.
"But, what if you try—"
"To sneak out again?"
"…Alright, that is getting extremely annoying now."
Lynn chuckled. "Don't worry; I won't try to sneak out like last time."
"I certainly—"
"Hope not?"
Mrs. Vienna looked like she really wanted to smack her daughter to Pluto, the-used-to-be-a-planet-but-isn't-anymore-apparently-the-poor-little-thing.
Lynn got the message and ran up to her room, giggling like a maniac that she had annoyed the hell out of her mum for once.
The day passed like a breeze and before Lynn knew it, her alarm clock was reading 5:30 PM.
But, time does fly when you're having fun, and Lynn did have fun whilst at home, having done no homework at all (because she couldn't be bothered). She had just spent the day playing on her computer, reading comics, and doodling in her maths book.
Good times, good times. Casual and totally un-chaotic.
For once.
Meanwhile, downstairs, Mr. and Mrs. Vienna were sitting on the couch, watching TV. They were glad that their daughter was staying in her room obediently for once. Finally, that girl had learnt her lesson.
RING RING!
The house phone in the hall began to ring, and Mrs. Vienna stood up to go and answer it.
"Hello?"
"Hi, is this Lynn's house?" asked an adolescent female voice on the other end.
"Yes, it is. I'm her mother. May I ask who you are?"
"My name is Na—" There was a tiny pause. "Natalie. I'm from Lynn's class. I was wondering if she's free tonight."
"Well, actually, she's grounded at the moment."
"Can you please excuse her from her punishment just for tonight? See, my mother is ill in the hospital, and I want to visit her, but I'm not allowed to take my baby brother. So, he needs looking after, and I can't get through to any other of my trustworthy friends. So…" The girl's voice shook slightly as she continued. "I really…" There was a sniffle on the other end of the line. "I really just want to see my mum…"
"Aw, you poor thing!" Mrs. Vienna sobbed, sympathy for the girl overtaking her. "Alright, I'll let Lynn out just for tonight."
"Thank you so much! I'll remember your kindness forever!"
"That's no problem at all! What time do you want her over for? And whereabouts?"
"About 6 PM. And… She should know whereabouts. Just tell her, Natalie called."
"Alright, I'll pass the message on."
"Thank you!" And, with that, the girl hung up.
Mrs. Vienna put down the receiver and walked straight upstairs to her daughter's room. "Lynn!"
Lynn lifted her head from her computer screen at her mother's call. "What?"
Mrs. Vienna popped her head around the door. "Your friend called; she said she needs you to babysit her baby brother whilst she goes to the hospital tonight."
"Ehh? Tonight?" Lynn cried in shock. She most certainly did not want to miss a chance to go to the circus to go looking after a freaking baby!
"Yes, tonight. Put on a coat and I'll help you get everything you'll need."
"B-but… I'm grounded! And… Tonight?"
"Yes, tonight! Have a bit of sympathy! Her mother is in hospital, for goodness sake!"
"But, still, I can't go toni—" Lynn paused for a second. Wait… A friend of hers whose mother was in the hospital? That wasn't quite right. She didn't have a friend whose mother was in a hospital! "Which 'friend of mine' are you talking about?" she asked.
"Natalie, a girl from your class."
"Natalie?" Lynn blinked. But, there wasn't anyone called…
"Well, hurry up, then!" Mrs. Vienna tapped her foot impatiently. "Aren't you willing to help a friend in need? She said she needs you there at 6 PM!"
6 PM? "Where did she say I have to meet her?"
"She said you should know."
Natalie? 6 PM? 'You should know'?
Lynn smirked, catching on. 'Nice one, Nami,' she thought, following her mum to get packed up in order to leave.
Arriving at the hotel dead on time (for once) Lynn saw from a distance that the Straw Hats were all standing outside waiting. Upon seeing her, Luffy began to point and shout to his friends happily. They all looked in her direction, and that included Zoro, who was wearing the white baseball cap she gave him and scowling.
"Hey, guys!" Lynn smiled as she came over, ignoring the evil glares from a certain swordsman. "Thanks for waiting!" She turned to Nami with a grin. "And, nice job getting my mum to let me out!"
"It was all a part of my plan!" boasted Usopp, proudly marching past.
He tripped over Lynn's leg, because she suddenly felt like sticking it out in front of him.
"I was thanking Nami, creep."
"Ah, it was no problem," Nami winked, "and as repayment for my kindness, your debt will increase by five percent, if that's okay."
"Eh?"
"Five percent isn't a lot."
"Yeah, but—"
"There, you said 'yes'. So we have ourselves a deal!"
"What? But, I didn't—" Lynn stopped talking when she saw Nami's beri sign eyes and realised there was no use in arguing. She didn't even bother pointing out that Nami had the wrong currency again.
"Remind me never to let you help me sneak out ever again…" Lynn muttered, shaking her head, feeling deceived.
"What do you have in your bag?" asked Luffy curiously, peering at Lynn's bulging backpack.
"You want it? You can have it." She chucked the bag into Luffy's arms. He caught it, unzipped it, and raised an eyebrow as he tipped out its contents. Out fell a ton of nappies, bottles, baby toys, teddy bears, and talcum powder.
"Why did you bring all this?" he asked, bewildered.
"Long story," Lynn answered, rolling her eyes. "My mum packed it."
"What? Do you get so excited you wet yourself?" Usopp teased evilly, holding up a pack of nappies. The whole backpack went flying in his face and knocked him to the ground.
"Anyway…" Lynn cleared her throat and began walking away. "…let's get going."
The circus was crowded and chaotic when they got there. Nami reluctantly paid the ticket fees at the door to the big top under the threat that Luffy was about to 'Gomu Gomu no Rocket' himself up onto the top of the 'Awesome Mystery Tent.' After finding some seats with a good view, they sat themselves down, and that was when Lynn realised that Usopp was still carrying her backpack of baby stuff.
"Why on Earth did you bring that?" asked Lynn, giving Usopp a funny look.
"Well, you all started to set off, and I didn't have enough time to chuck this in our hotel room, so I brought it with me."
"Wierdo," Lynn muttered, taking the backpack from him and placing it under her seat. She was actually glad that he had brought the backpack, to be honest; when it was time to go home, her mum would definitely be expecting her to bring the bag back, so it was all good that she had it with her.
Lynn had to wait for at least a half hour for the show to start – God, these people sure took a while to get blooming sat down!
So, Lynn used this time to buy some popcorn and snacks from the stalls just outside. She came back to her seat with giant plastic bags full of food, looking as if she'd just been grocery shopping for a family of twenty.
"YUM!" cried Luffy and attacked the bags as if he hadn't eaten since last year.
"To think I prepare so much food for you every day and you still act like a starved little child," mumbled Sanji, shaking his head and took a puff on his cigarette.
He immediately got scolded by Lynn for smoking in public again. Reluctantly, he handed his cigarette over to the girl, and she put it out by reaching over two seats and smushing it in Usopp's hair. Usopp screamed in shock, thinking his hair had caught fire and furiously shook the ash out of his curls. All Lynn did was laugh her head off, accompanied by chuckles and amused glances from the rest of the crew.
The lights began to dim all around and everyone quietened down in anticipation.
"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls," boomed a voice from the speakers, the sound echoing around the big top. Spot lights began to circle around the audience at this point.
The Straw Hat crew nearly jumped up from their seats in surprise. The 'search lights', the loud speakers; it seemed just a little too similar to the scene they had encountered when they accidentally landed in the marines base. Lynn saw the crew's shock and hissed a few words of reassurance quickly. They all calmed down on hearing, although still twitching slightly when the spot lights swayed past.
God, the show hadn't even started, and Lynn was already feeling tired, eyeing the Straw Hats warily. But she figured when the acts begin to come on stage they'd all be too amused to create any havoc.
And when the show officially started, she realised she was right.
Acrobats, tightrope walkers, and unicyclists had everyone on the edge of their seats as they performed their stunts, and martial artists showed off their skill and achieved rounds of applause. Of course, their stunts were nothing the Straw Hats couldn't do; in fact, Luffy could bend himself more than any of those professional gymnasts, but their well organised acts accompanied by cheerful music were indeed amazingly entertaining. Most of the snacks were scoffed by Luffy during this part of the show.
Trained animals were then brought onto stage; there were lines of barking seals, tigers jumping flaming hoops of fire, and snakes performing dances. Lynn found the twelve meter long boa with fangs especially cute, much to Nami and Usopp's horror.
Then it was Lynn's turn to be horrified when the magician walked onto stage, pulling dozens of rabbits from his hat as he went and let them hop around stage freely.
Actually, to say 'horrified' would be an understatement; she was practically wetting herself in terror and ended up hiding behind her seat for the whole act.
Only when the clowns came on stage did Lynn slowly sit back down and munch on some left over popcorn nervously, still shaken from the previous act. She found herself loosening up and laughing along with the rest of the audience at the hilarious goings on down in the ring; and she especially cracked up, along with the rest of the crew, when a wrinkly clown wearing a rainbow coloured wig strutted into stage, pouting and posing like a gay model.
Sanji was just about splitting his sides looking down at that clown then glancing back up at the swordsman sitting only a seat away. Zoro sat through this performance with an aura of fury floating around his body.
Soon, the act ended with a flourish, and the lights dimmed all over again. A clown from the previous act stood in the middle of the stage, microphone in hand and addressing the audience.
"And… next up," announced the clown, "the act of the evening; a special performance, exclusively brought to you by 'The Crazy Circus': a spectacular show from the amazing duo!"
A drum roll followed as everyone waited anxiously. A special performance, eh? Ought to be good!
"Richie and his lion!"
Nami, Zoro, Lynn and even Luffy stopped cheering and all blinked. That sounded familiar for some reason. Yet...
"Richie..." Luffy tilted his head.
"And, a lion...?" Nami raised an eyebrow.
Zoro frowned. "That sounds awfully like..."
"But, it's not quite..." Lynn scratched her head.
"I'm awfully sorry!" said the clown suddenly, grinning sheepishly at the audience after being scolded by his fellow clowns. "I... seem to have made a mistake! Please, welcome Mohji! And, his lion…Richie!"
Everyone began to clap as a figure riding on a lion came strolling onto the stage accompanied by circus music.
Nami, Lynn, Zoro and Luffy's jaws all dropped.
"Oh..."
"My..."
"...shit. I knew it..."
Luffy just jumped up from his seat in surprise and yelled at the top of his voice, "MOHJI!"
Mohji heard his name being called and scanned the audience. His eyes nearly popped out of their sockets when he saw Luffy standing from his seat and the rest of his crew staring at him. "Straw Hat!" he cried in shock.
Everyone in the arena turned to Luffy with a funny look in their eyes. Luffy however, didn't seem to care.
"Mohji!" he continued to shout loudly, attracting more and more attention from the audience. "Why the hell are you—"
He was cut off as both Nami and Lynn clamped his mouth shut and shoved him to the ground, but that didn't stop people from staring. Now everyone thought that there was a murder incident happening right before their very eyes.
"Gah! Too much attention!" wailed Lynn, trying to keep Luffy's struggling to a minimum by now sitting on him; he let out a cry of shock in response to the sudden addition of weight on his back which made him crash to the ground. This actually just made more people stare.
"Just leave him alone – you're making matters worse!" hissed Usopp, but he was the last person Lynn wanted to hear that from. So she just shoved him hard and sent him tumbling off his own seat.
"Great, even more people are looking now..." Zoro muttered, scowling. "Stupid woman."
"Don't be mean to Lynn-chan," Sanji snarled.
"Shut up."
"Rainbow puke marimo."
"WHAT?"
So, then they got into a fight. Which meant, of course, that most of the people in the arena began to look in their direction instead of at the stage. Well, fighting using feet and fists whilst sitting in seats did look kind of weird. Mohji, back down on the stage was confused as hell as to why the Straw Hats were here, but without captain Buggy around he really didn't want to fight them. So the best thing to do now is...
"Run away..." Mohji whispered as he and Richie tiptoed off stage quietly, trying not to be noticed.
"Oi! Don't try and run aw—" Luffy was cut off again as Lynn jumped up and dropped her weight, squishing him down. Finally, annoyed, Luffy stood up sharply, throwing Lynn off and making her crash under the seats. "What's your problem?" Luffy demanded.
"What's your problem?" Lynn retorted, standing back up, rubbing the bump on her head. She was too annoyed now to notice, or even care, that more people were staring.
"You let Mohji get away! And, you kept sitting on me!"
"I was just trying to keep people from staring at us!"
"Who cares if they stare?"
"I care! I don't want any trouble!"
"But, you didn't have to sit on me!"
"Well, you wouldn't shut up, would you?"
"I'm the captain; I don't have to shut up!"
"Yes, you do, you rubber idiot!"
Their voices got louder and louder until they were shouting at each other. At the same time, Sanji and Zoro's fight got even more violent, and they now stood up, stepping on Usopp (much to Lynn's delight) unknowingly as they did do and made him pass out.
The lights and sound managers didn't seem to mind that their special act had snuck off stage; everyone appeared to be entertained plenty enough by the crazy group in the audience that were fighting and arguing away. So swinging the spotlight down, the crew was now bathed in the bright beam. Although strangely, no one protested or seemed to care.
Nami was covering her eyes with her hands, mourning that she was the only sane on in their group; and everyone else was either having a who-can-yell-louder match, fighting to the death, or busy being unconscious.
And, everyone in the arena was watching them as if they were the show.
With all the commotion, no one noticed that figure near the bottom of the stadium, watching them from a distance. He raised his phone to his ear.
"Hey, boss," he said into the phone. "I've found Mohji. And, you know those pesky kids you're looking for?" He looked up at Luffy and Lynn. "I've found them, too."
AN: Sorry if I upset anyone with my Zoro torturing! But, I just couldn't resist the temptation of screwing up his hair big time. X3
Review, review, review if you want to read on anytime soon! Reviews always motivate me to speed up the writing! :D
Next time: The big clash! And, a mini showdown! But, be notified that I'm nowhere near finished, so chapter 14 isn't quite the finale. :P