So, here's Chapter Three of Life is Unexpected. I think I might start updating twice a week.
Chapter Three
"I am Kahmunrah." His voice can get so annoying. I mean, I've been with him for, like, ten minutes and I already want to duct tape his mouth close. "I am half god, once removed on my mother's side."
"Wait, if it's once removed, then wouldn't it mean that you aren't half god?" I asked.
"No, I am half god."
"But you said that it's removed, so that would mean that you aren't." Maybe if I annoy him enough, he might let me go.
"No, I am. Now stop annoying me and please turn around." I had my back facing towards him.
"No," but he ignored me.
"And I'm the rightful ruler of Egypt, future ruler of, well, everything else. Now, I have lost some men. So, I am in need of some new generals to join me in my little plan of conquering this world. Ivan the Terrible, Napoleon Bonaparte, and young Al Capone." When I heard their names, I turned around. They were all in color except for Al Capone; he was in black and white.
"Yeah," Al Capone said.
"Some of the most despicable, most feared leaders in all of history." Kahmunrah said, then his voice changed. "Gentlemen, really, it's just fantastic to meet you all." I laughed his voice just sounded so funny then. "What's so funny?" He demanded.
"You're voice," I said while laughing.
"Well, I think you're voice sounds funny, too."
"No, it doesn't."
"Yes, it does."
"No, it doesn't."
"You know, I'm not going to argue with you."
"Good, because you were never going to win," I shot back.
"Anyway, all I ask is your allegiance, and in return, I offer you the world. Literally. Are there any questions?" Kahmunrah asked.
"Yeah, I got one. How come you're wearing a dress?" Al Capone asked.
"That's a good question. Guys aren't suppose to wear dresses," I put in. They looked at me.
"This is not a dress. This is a tunic. It was the height of fashion3,000 years ago, I assure you. Are there any other questions?"
"Da, this dress you're wearing, do we have to wear one of these, too?" Ivan the Terrible asked his question.
"Were you not listening? I just told Mr. Capone here that this is not a dress. It is, in fact, a tunic. Very big difference."
"Not really. Look at the skirt and the kilt. They both look the same, but the kilt is what men wear in Scotland for special occasions, I think. But over here, people kind of look at them the same way. So, the tunic is a form of dress." I said.
"Will you please be quiet?" Kahmunrah yelled at me.
"No, I will not."
"Are there any other questions?" Napoleon had raised hand. "Any questions not about the dress? Tunic?" He had put his hand back down. "All right, then. Moonlight is wasting, and the time is short." Kahmunrah turned his back on me and looked at Napoleon.
"Short? Why do you look at me when you say "short"?" Somebody has a bad temper and is very sensitive about their height.
"Sorry. It slipped out." Kahmunrah apologized.
"Da, if we are talking about world domination, then of course, I am interested. But first, I want to clarify something so you know what you are getting. People always say, 'Ivan the Terrible, he's so terrible. I'm so scared of Ivan. He's bad news.' When in fact, the correct translation is 'Ivan the Awesome.'" Ivan said.
"Ivan the Awesome? It's not really as catchy, is it? I mean, 'Ivan the Terrible,' that really pops."
"But I wasn't terrible. In fact, I was quite an effective leader."
"But you killed your boyars because you thought they killed your wife and then you killed your son when you were mad. How is that awesome?" I said. He gave me look that looked surprised.
"Duly noted. Now, I'd like to wrap up the old meet-and-greet by asking you gentlemen a question. Are you with me?" Kahmunrah asked.
"Yeah. Yeah, sure." Al Capone shrugged.
"Oui," Napoleon said.
"Da, but," That was Ivan.
"Then bring Larry Daley of Daley Devices, his daughter, and the Golden Tablet of Ahkmenrah to me!" Kahmunrah said with power.
"Um, you already got her, but I'm his niece not his daughter," I said.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Then where are your parents?" He asked me.
"Six feet under."
"Where's that?"
"It means that they're dead," Al Capone answered for me.
"Oh," and Kahmunrah actually looked a little sorry for me. Then there was silence.
"Well, this is awkward," I said. The others nodded their heads.
"Well, you can go get Larry Daley and the tablet now. Oh, Mr. Capone, take the girl with you. I don't want to be bothered with her." I glared at Kahmunrah and Al Capone walked towards me. He reached out an arm towards me.
"Don't touch me," I warned him. He grabbed my arm anyway and I was forced to follow him. He sent two of his gangsters to go guard the box with my friends from our museum to make sure that none of them would try to escape.
We walked out of the room and I tried dragging my feet, but that just made him jerk me forward, causing the stuff in my purse to fall out. The sound caused him to stop. I sighed and bent down to pick up my make up that went everywhere. I got my iPod and phone in the purse first and started hunting for the eyeliner. I saw Al Capone helping me look for it and we got the job done fast. "Thank you."
"You're welcome," He seemed surprised.
"I'm Charlotte Daley," I said.
"Al Capone."
"I know,"
"How?"
"Kahmunrah," I said his name with distaste.
"Do you know who I am?" One of his gangsters asked me.
"No, I'm sorry."
"Don't worry, you will," he winked at me.
"Cocky aren't you?" I asked.
"No, just confident."
"About what?"
"About getting you," he smirked.
"Too bad that's not going to happen."
"Well, I think it will."
"Well, I know that it's not going to happen."
"Ignore him," Al said and he helped me up. He gently took my arm and we went to go find Uncle Larry.
So, that was Chapter Three. How did you like it?