Disclaimer: Nope, not mine.
Rated T ... for mentions of alcoholism, I guess.
A/N: I actually did get quite a bit of writing done at my trailer this weekend ... but it was all for Glee ;). Sorry. But I'm back now with a couple ideas that I hope to get up ASAP.
Just a quickie. This one is Andy's feelings regarding what I know for a fact that the next episode is about. So, major spoilers. And if you've seen the promo or read the write-up, this should make perfect sense ... I hope ;).
I really hope you enjoy!
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Andy McNally. Based on promo for episode 11, 'To Serve or Protect'.
Your father is a good man.
He is … even if somewhere along the line, he managed to lose himself.
But just because he's an alcoholic – and likes to pop sleeping pills like they're Tic-Tacs, and is apparently having blackouts – doesn't mean that he did this. (He killed his share of people in his years on the force, but he is not a cold-blooded killer by any means.) He is not a murderer.
You know this.
You know that he'd never do something like this.
He wouldn't.
Only, there's this tiny little voice in the back of your head, poisoning your mind with thoughts like: What if he did? Because you know that he'd never do this … intentionally. But drunk and medicated … who really knows what he's capable of, in that state? It's only reasonable that if he wasn't himself, then there's every possibility that he could have done this.
You feel horrible thinking it, even just for a second. Because he's your dad, and he's not like that; he wouldn't just kill somebody, even in a drunken rage. That's not the kind of man that he is. (Except, up until your mom left, you didn't think that an alcoholic was the kind of man that he is. Yet here you are, constantly checking up on him because you're afraid that this might be the time that he pops one too many, or has that little bit too much scotch.)
He didn't do it, no matter what anyone says; not even your gut … You just can't believe that he might have done it.
Well it's not that you can't believe it, exactly. It's that you won't. You refuse to, because that would mean having to face all the facts that you've been so deftly ignoring since the first time you found him passed out, bottle of whiskey at his side. You refuse to, because you can't handle that. So, for your own sanity and mental well-being, you'll go on steadfastly believing that he's a good man for as long as you can. Because he is, underneath it all … and you just will not believe that he has stooped quite so far as to commit this heinous act. And you won't need to believe any different anyways, because if he didn't kill this man (which he didn't), all reason to think otherwise will soon be gone.
But until he's proven innocent, you'll remain in this suspended state of indefinite disbelief; (just in case, because that little discouraging voice in your head won't seem to quit quite yet).
It's just so much less painless this way.
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