Longer chapter - as promised.

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Butler was not unduly worried when he got the text telling him to be on his guard. After all, his uncle was constantly reminding him as though he was convinced Butler was an idiot with no training and the memory span of a goldfish. What was worrying was the first bit of the message. There's been an incident. OK. That left a couple of options. His uncle and employer must be unharmed or else the message would have been blank or simply an address.

Knowing The Major, the 'incident' could be as mild as a failed pick-pocketing or as serious as an assassination attempt. Deciding not to panic anyone just yet Butler checked his holster was loose enough for a quick draw and returned to trying to watch both Fowls and his little sister all at once.

The Major didn't relax until they reached the hotel foyer and even then Artemis could tell his bodyguard was on high alert. He twitched at every movement and only let go of his gun butt when they met up with the others. Butler gave them both a cursory glance.

No blood - good.

Slightly pale faces - survivable.

Content not to know for now, he returned to his watching.

"There you are." Angeline rushed forward. "I was getting worried. You said you'd only be an hour."

"Yes, sorry, darling. I'm afraid things didn't quite work out." Artemis Senior smoothed over the fact he'd had a gun pointed at him already today and it wasn't even afternoon yet.

"Oh well at least that's it now, Timmy. We can enjoy our holiday. That was all, wasn't it?" the question was accompanied by a look that made even The Major almost flinch.

"Ah... Yes dear, of course. Did you have any plans for today?" Mr. Fowl changed the subject rapidly.

A fact that did not go unnoticed by Angeline and she 'hmmmed' unconvinced. "Well Arty, Juliet and I were thinking of using the swimming facilities. I hear there's a fantastic spa room too."

"Excellent, excellent." Her husband said, in a tone that suggested the exact opposite. "Well do enjoy yourself. Personally, I wouldn't mind finding some internet connection and..."

"Timmy. This is a family holiday. Therefore, as the name suggests, we are going to do things as a family." Both Artemis's groaned mentally, but when Mrs. Fowl wanted something, she usually got it. Today was no exception. And so, in half an hour, the three Fowls and three Butlers were all assembled at the pool's entrance. The majority of the group did not look best pleased.

"Will you be bathing today, Major?" Angeline asked before she left with Juliet for the female changing rooms.

"Pardon?" The Major span round from his, it had to be said, increasingly obsessive window checking.

"Swimming, Major. Shall you be joining us?" Angeline repeated patiently, by now very sure that there was something her husband and his bodyguard weren't telling her.

"No, m'am. I shall be observing today. I assure you Butler will be though." He answered quickly.

"Brilliant. It's not that I don't trust the lifeguards here, but I do feel more relaxed with the pair of you around."

The previously mentioned Butler scowled. They had definitely not talked about this, but he could hardly refuse when his uncle had just offered him up like live bait. He could swear his superior was smirking.

"Feel free to go and get changed. I'll keep an ear out for the girls." He said mildly, heading for the indoor poolside.

"What? You don't fancy a muscle-off with the orange guy?" Butler muttered, trying to goad his uncle into a swap. If he was honest with himself, there wasn't much point. Once he'd made up his mind The Major rarely wavered. It was the annoying thing about being the junior in this arrangement; Butler had to take the orders whilst The Major got to make them. Although the younger often teased him about his age - the only real difference between the pair - the older man was incredibly fit and well for someone in their fifties. He even, although his nephew would never admit it, beat Butler at sparring occasionally in the Fowl's gym and was certainly handy to have around in a fire-fight.

"Don't be ridiculous. Someone has to watch from dry-land." The Major justified, checking the spray-tanned steroid-muncher for visible weaponry - just in case.

"Hmmph." Butler grunted, following both their principals into the changing room. Despite his annoyance at this present moment, if he ever thought long enough to consider it, Butler wouldn't change having his uncle around.

Before they had even reached the lockers, Mr. Fowl checked through the semi-frosted glass that his bodyguard had reached the poolside deckchairs and that his wife had not and quickly made a decision.

"Apologies gentlemen, but I shall not be venturing into the water today." He offered as an explanation, taking the observer's door to the pool without a backwards glance. Butler raised an eyebrow. This would not go down well with Mrs. Fowl.

A little over five minuets later, feeling suitably ridiculous in the trunks his mother had picked out for him, Artemis shuffled into the pool room after his bodyguard.

"This is preposterous, Butler." He complained, voice echoing slightly in the high ceilinged, fully tiled room. "Physical exercise is not my forte and I already envisage this activity to be completely futile and entirely un-enjoyable."

"Perhaps if you participate for a short while, your mother will allow you to sit out, young sir." Butler said, in hope for the both of them.

"I sincerely hope so." Artemis grumbled with a longing look towards the safety of the deckchairs on the other side of the pool.

"Come on, Arty. The water's great." Juliet yelled, splashing wildly. Butler rolled his eyes. Most likely his sister would love to try to dunk the pair of them.

"Yes Arty. Do be a sport... unlike your father." Angeline shot a glare at her husband who was reading a paper on a deckchair. Apparently they'd just missed the argument.

"Very well, Mother. If you insist." Artemis sighed, placing a pale foot on the first shallow step, then the second. The water lapped over his ankles and he shivered. This was the worst holiday ever. Well, perhaps not including the one to Alaska last year, which had ended in an incident with a breaking ice floe and a trio of skidoos that had nearly got them all killed. Artemis drew strength from that thought; perhaps this wasn't so bad after all. He took a deep breath, but, before he could pluck up the courage to descend to the third step, Juliet reached him and took him by the hand.

"Just jump." She laughed, pulling him in after her.

The result was a lot of splashing and spluttering but once he was quite sure Artemis wasn't going to drown, Butler sat on the edge, feet dangling in the water, hoping he could get away with just that for now. It didn't last long.

"Aww come on, Butler." Juliet whined, tugging at his leg.

"Indeed, Butler. If I have to endure this, it seems only fair you must too." Artemis shot him a rare vampire smile.

With his little sister hanging off his shin and a semi-order from his principal, Butler dropped into the waist high water. There wasn't much chance of a swim when the deepest end was barely chest height, so, in his eyes, this 'exercise' simply wasn't, which made the entire thing pointless. However, it also meant there wasn't much chance of a dunking either, much to Juliet's disappointment. Artemis stood in the water, shivering for a while before Juliet began to assume he couldn't swim and so tried to teach him.

"I am perfectly capable of swimming. Thank-you, Juliet." Artemis said, in a voice as cold as he felt.

"Well then swim." She laughed, splashing him. Eventually he deigned to slowly paddle a few lengths and, although he wouldn't admit it, he actually found himself quite enjoying the light physical exertion. It was almost worth all the lessons it had taken Butler to teach him to back in Fowl Manor's pool. Almost. That was, until Juliet decided she'd had enough of the relaxing dip and dunked him.

Once he managed to resurface, Artemis immediately yelled for her brother who lifted his sister bodily and threw her, much to her delight, into the deep end.

"Are you OK Artemis?" Butler asked, concerned. Once he had finished spluttering, his charge managed to speak.

"I will be... once I have extracted... my revenge." He panted, using his bodyguard as a means of staying afloat. "Or rather, after you have extracted my revenge."

"Was that an order, sir?" Butler let a small grin play about his face.

"Certainly. Return the attack." Artemis ordered, as though at war. Which, in a way, he was.

And soon all three of them were in an all out splashing battle, much to The Major's disapproval. But Butler found that he didn't much care. Yes, the spray was obscuring some of his vision, but it was nice to see Artemis acting his age for once.

"For heaven's sake, boy." The Major rumbled. Butler spared him a glance at this belittling comment and shrugged it off.

"What?" He said, with a little more cheek than he would have dared to use had he been on dry-land. "It was an order."

"It was more of a request than an order, actually." Artemis puffed from the water beside his bodyguard, where he had overheard the short exchange. "Although please continue assisting me before Juliet...argh!"

The lifeguard, the pumped up, spray tanned man from before, was quite concerned to see the children trying to drown each. At least other until Angeline returned from the steam room and assured him that at least one, if not both, of the family bodyguards would save them if they did get into genuine difficulty and then politely, albeit patronisingly, suggested he take the rest of the afternoon off.

After that, the lifeguard spent the remainder of the party's swimming session trying to square himself up to Butler, who point blank ignored him, as he did with most people who were neither threat, family, nor Fowl.

In fact, Butler attracted quite a bit of attention. Then again, he was seven foot tall with a bald head, muscles to put a bodybuilder to shame, an interesting looking diamond tattoo and, although only one other person in the room knew it, a semi-automatic handgun strapped to his leg under his trunks. Yet he was still splashing around with two children as though he was one himself.

Fortunately, for security and splashing purposes, his presence also meant they had they had the whole pool to themselves for most of the afternoon, apart from an old woman in a swim-hat who did lengths with remarkable speed for a person of her age and seemed impervious to the death-glare the older Butler was giving her from the deckchairs.

By late afternoon one of them was pampered, three of them were pruney and the remaining pair were thoroughly bored. Mrs. Fowl wasn't at all sympathetic.

"Well you should have swum then." she huffed at her husband.

Thankfully her bad mood didn't last long. After all, she had bought herself a new dress for the evening out they were having and why spoil a beautiful outfit with a sour face?


Told you it was longer. A little bit anyway.

But was it any better?

Go on.

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