Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews! I am glad (not in a bad way) that some of you can relate to feeling the way that Lightning currently is. I was concerned if anyone would be able to connect with her on that level.

I was planning on going a specific route with this story, but I sort of came up with a different direction I've been toying with. I will leave the route (and ending) up to you readers to decide: Happy or Sad? (though this story is pretty sad already...)

I am unsure if this should be rated M (being my first fic and all). Please let me know if it should be changed and I will change it.

CHAPTER 3

Several years after Cocoon's 'demise'.

The military government focused on establishing order first, and then rebuilding their society. A new city was built a long distance away from Cocoon and the crystal pillar that held it in the air. However, there were several base camps directly underneath the shattered husk. These served as focal points to gather materials from the ruins of everyone's former life. Military craft would ferry workers from the surface up into the depths of Cocoon to retrieve what could be salvageable.

Over the span of a few months, the new settlement, Neo-Cocoon as it was called, began to take shape. Makeshift buildings were constructed rapidly and living arrangements were assigned by the government. Soon, job roles were doled out (mostly on past experiences of each person) and at times, forced conscription was done (to defend against the natural wild life). Plans to farm the local plains and to hunt the wild life were put into place for the population's food supply. The majority of the citizens were too worried about their own lives and trying to get by than to realize what was transpiring under their noses. The military started to take more control of everyone's daily life.

The first winter was rough. Due to the short growing season, not much was harvested and the people were woefully unprepared to what a Pulse winter was like. It was during this that the first of several disasters occurred: the inadequate preparations lead to mass frostbite and unnecessary deaths. The military did what it could, but only so much could be done in such a short period of time. After the winter, the people clamored for something to be done for the next one. Plans were put in place...

It was here, that a distinct difference could be seen. The military essentially assumed a dictatorship, and completely ran the citizen's lives. Neo-Cocoon became a police state. Even though the leaders had good intentions, sometimes, things go awry...

Her body turned and looked at the door way. Something seemed to vanish to the left of the door frame. She thought she heard something echo down the hallway.

She quickly leapt out of the bed and dashed into the hallway, hoping to catch a better glimpse of whatever it was. As she turned, she saw wisps of...his hair?...twist into the main room. Quickly now, she rushed close behind into the main room. Her eyes caught another glimpse of movement: the front door slowly closed, a soft click was heard.

Her mind was reeling from what she was seeing.

When there is hope in your soul and it grabs at you, how can you resist it? When this hope tries to infuse itself with your inner being, do you give into it? Should you let it take over? As you stand on the edge, looking down into the abyss...the end...and behind you the light shines so brightly, is it time to tumble over the edge and end it? Or do you let the light grasp your shoulders gently, and then your hands and pull you away? If you look into the light will you become blind by the hope? Should you? These are the choices that one must make when they despair so much that they are not themselves anymore. They become the definition of internal turmoil torn asunder by traumatic losses close to their bleeding hearts.

She moved through the main room with agility spurred on by hope. Her vision would go white for a brief half of a second at sporadic times. Her mind dismissed these. Within seconds, she made it to the front door and reached out to the door handle. Her arm pulled it and then pushed outwards. She ran into the front yard, and saw...nothing. Just the green scape of her secluded house.

The sound of her pounding heart filled her mind. She glanced around looking frantically for whatever it was she just saw and heard. But her eyes found nothing. There was a large stone a ways off from the building – she went to it and sat down. The sun beat down on her and she looked down at her legs. She studied them and thought about him...

It was some time after Snow and Serah left for the day. Hope emerged from the bedrooms looking like he just crawled out of his bed. He had sleep written all over his face. His hair was a complete mess – it was shooting off in every different direction. He sat down at the table, oddly enough, in the same seat that Snow sat in earlier. "Hey Light." he drew the words out a bit longer than usual due to his sleepy state. He flashed a small smile at the end, catching onto her solemn mood.

She looked at him and studied him for a bit. She took notice of his sleepy features, and then replied "Finally up?"

He put his chin on his hands as he leaned on the table. "Yep. I told Snow I'd meet him and Serah in the city today."

Lightning shrugged.

The last moments of the ones that she loved were bitter filled thoughts that she could not be proud of. How can you feel positive of any sort when the end was not how it should be? Not how she wanted it to be. She placed her head in her hands and gave up. The barriers came crashing down like never before and the flood gates opened. The flood of emotion and loss washed over her. She held these gates up for so many weeks and months and it was only until now, that they found their extreme end. Her eyes emptied themselves...all of the sadness, anger, and disappointment left during those moments.

It was not until sometime later, when she stopped her heartfelt sobbing that something moved behind her. She quickly turned and looked with red and teary eyes. On the other side of the building near a treeline, she could see...him? He stood there for a brief moment, looking at her, before he faded behind some brush. Lightning leapt to her feet, again, and sprinted across the grass towards the forest. She sprinted past the building, and to the woods.

She arrived there within seconds and looked around, frantically, searching for any signs of him. She looked at the ground and could not see well enough due to the water in her eyes. She rubbed them quickly with her hands, and still, she couldn't see. She felt the hope and anguish tearing at her insides. She fell to her knees and moved the brush around, looking for any signs of him. Nothing. Lightning let loose a breath and sat there for a moment.

A snap in the distance echoed and her head jerked up. Again, she leapt to her feet and blindly ran towards the noise, through the forest. She was oblivious to the underbrush scraping against her legs and lower body. She did not care. She would run through fire and ice if she had too. As her legs carried her forward, she could feel herself lose her grip on reality once more. She felt the insides fight with themselves, the hope, the anger, the sadness. All battling within. For a brief moment, with her walls down, she felt...free. She never felt this way before: completely unhindered by the emotional walls she usually held. However, another sound ahead of her pushed those thoughts aside.

She ran towards it even faster, with more dedication and resolve. Suddenly, she left the woods and came to the outskirts of Neo-Cocoon. She was surprised at how fast she arrived here. She stopped, looking at the metal clad buildings, they all looked the same. People were milling about going among their daily tasks, as assigned by the military.

Something moved between two buildings ahead of her. It almost sounded like foot steps, and maybe a laugh? His laugh? She made her way over there and saw nothing. She emerged on the other side, and found herself in an open street.

The second she set foot on the open street, a dense fog seemed to cloud her vision. It was as if she was looking through a black tunnel, the center was clear to see but the outer edges were wavy and distorted.

The buildings around her were familiar, all too familiar. The time of day was now evening. A storm seemed to be on the horizon, the dark clouds reached over the sky and were heading in their direction. She wondered why they had not returned yet? She had to go find them. It was getting dark.

Her body seemed to be weightless and empty. She leaned against the nearby building.

She could hear the commotion in the middle of the street up ahead. The sound of yelling and boots against the ground. She moved closer... Then she could see them, their bodies lying in the middle of the street. Several members from PSICOM stood by the bodies. She found herself running with every ounce of her energy towards them. As the woman got closer she could see the unmistakable clothing from her family on the slumped bodies on the ground; the blood pooling around them. A rage that cannot be described immediately filled her inner core. Her mind went numb. Her eyes saw nothing but those bodies. The PSICOM troopers turned their heads and raised their rifles at her, yelling her to halt. She did not see or hear them.

The only sound that she heard was her heart pounding and the screams of "No!" in her mind.

The only sound the PSICOM troopers heard was the all too familiar transition of a gun-blade.

Lightning was now kneeling in the street at the same place as what her mind saw. She was moving her hands gently over the ground. Over them.

The wounds on Snow, Serah and Hope were horrific to Lightning. She never thought that simple gunshots would look so horrifying to her. Snow was slumped on the ground, his jacket a dark red with his blood. Serah and a few feet behind him. Lightning could not look at her.

Lightning moved her head upwards and saw him lying, face down. His body was twisted and contorted, most likely shot in the back after being knocked down. His life was drained on the ground.

All of their life was drained on the ground.

Lightning's hands went out and touched the pools of life. It felt cold and thick. Cold and thick. She put her body on top of the pools, hoping to warm them up. She lied there, eyes stark wide open but there was nothing in them. She reached out and grabbed ahold of Serah. Serah's arm was cold to the touch. She squeezed Serah's arm tightly. But nothing happened. No response. No smile or frown on Serah's face. Lightning's other hand grasped onto Snow, his skin was clammy and stiff. There was nothing there. His eyes were open, staring into the void.

Her eyes opened and she saw Hope's lifeless body in front of her. Her limp legs managed to work enough that she crawled her way over to him. She slowly turned his body around, so he was on his back. She took one look at his face and lost it. The tears flooded out of her eyes and she grabbed onto his red stained shirt tightly and pounded the ground with her other hand. Finally, she put her head on his chest and everything went black.

Her next memory was digging the graves at night in the rain.

Her eyes snapped open and she found herself at the graves...