Eli's POV from the same situation in Ch. 3

I need to do something to comfort Clare. I grabbed both of her hands on impulse. Damn, I think my heart just skipped a beat. Holding her soft, warm hands in mine is enough to make my heart race.

"Clare, come on you can talk to me." I coaxed.

"My parents are talking about taking a break. And I don't know if that means taking a break to cool down or taking a permanent break and ending the marriage while they're both behind."

She was speaking through tears, trying not to cry any more than she already is. I can tell she feels embarrassed by this; by crying around me.

"Clare, it's alright. I'm sure things will work out for the best. And as long as you're here, I'll make sure that you don't have to deal with any more pain." I said.

I have to do something more daring if I wanna send her the right message.

I acted on impulse again, but this time I let go of Clare's hands and started to hug her. My heart is racing even more now.

Clare is the addiction that I want to give into; more addicting than heavy metal and punk music. Once I've had a taste, I won't give it up…

As much as I didn't want to, I finally let go after a long period of time.

"Eli Goldsworthy, man of mystery." She said smiling that sweet smile of hers.

I couldn't help but find that funny, so I laughed at her remark. "Hey, you may have not thought this was possible, but I can be sincere too."

"Well does it help that I actually believed your sincerity?" she giggled. Damn, she's so cute.

"Ouch, you didn't think I was going to be serious, did you?" I said sarcastically and then smirked.

After that, we sat and messed around with each other for a while.

I wonder if she's feeling the same way I am right now. I'm not used to feeling this strongly for a girl I only met a few days ago. She makes me nervous and I can tell that I do the same to her. So the question is, which one of us will admit to it first?

As she's talking to me right now, I can't help but get lost in her eyes. They're not just any old shade of blue. They're the most stunning, beautiful eyes I've ever seen.

It's not only Clare's eyes that take my breath away. She's a beautiful girl, very intelligent, and has a killer personality. But strangely enough, what I find the most attractive is her innocent persona.

She's not superficial or slutty like a lot of the girls at Degrassi. She has morals and she sticks with them.

Clare is her own person; a true individual.

So I guess she's not like the usual girls I would go for. She's even better.

There were a few minutes of silence before Clare finally spoke again.

"Eli? I need to ask you something. And when I do, I need straight up honesty. No jokes, no sarcasm, and no lies." She sounded really serious.

"Shoot, Blue Eyes." I said back to her with a smile.

"Well…" She paused for a second. "Okay I'm not going to beat around the bush with this. Do you have feelings for me?"

Now that really caught me off guard.

"Feelings?" I questioned.

"Feelings as in… More than friends. And English partners."

I sat there for a moment, trying to gather my thoughts.

I finally said something to that. "Clare… I uh… I thought that's all we were…"

"Shit! Did I really just say that?" Did I honestly sit there and lie to Clare? Even worse, did I just lie to myself?

"Oh. Yeah. Of course that's all we are... Well, I think I'd better be heading back home. See you tomorrow in English."

Clare got up, ran out of my room, up the stairs, and before I knew it she was out the door.

I got up to run after her. Right before she ran off of my driveway, I caught a glimpse of her.

"Clare! Wait!" I shouted.

She didn't wait. I walked back inside, completely defeated.

"Eli, you stupid jackass!"

Not only did I ruin my chances with her, break her heart, and get her to despise me, but I broke my own heart along the way.

How come I couldn't just be honest with her? I know how I feel about Clare, so why couldn't I tell her?

I'm the last person she'll wanna see tomorrow, but whatever it takes, I'm determined to win her back. I don't care how long it takes to do so…

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