Title: (Don't know. I'm open to suggestions.)

Pairing: Rachel/ Santana, maybe Quinn/Brittany

Rating: PG-13 for now

Summary: I truly do love you. I know at school nothing can change.

Warnings: Attempted suicide

Disclaimer: I own nothing

A/N: Once again thank you for your reviews. Waking up at stupid 'o'clock in the morning produces such things. Bonus points if you catch where this parts title is from.

Part 4: Three Small Words

-Two days later after school-

I've already been here two hours. Rachel's fever finally broke last night. The infection is almost gone. After tossing and turning for a while the night after her talk with Quinn I decided she was right. I took Richard and Kevin to one side and showed them the note.

*Flashback*

Kevin brakes down and falls into his much smaller husbands arms. Most people would be surprised by this. Kevin is a huge 6'2' African American, with a default serious expression of serious. When I first met him I assumed that he was the boss. It turns out he is nothing but a big teddy bear.

"I'm sorry," I whisper. Both men turn to me in confusion. I try and fight the tears from falling. "This is my fault. I know you must blame me to and probably don't want me near Rachel anymore. I promise if you let me I'll do my best to fix this." By the time I finish speaking I can't stop a few tears from falling.

"Oh sweetie," Kevin cried as he pulled me into a bear hug. "This isn't your fault."

"Kevin's right," Richard says as he rubs my back. "Rachel made a choice. We all made mistakes. If Rachel had felt she could have come to us or if high school wasn't such a horrible place… The ifs will drive us crazy. In the end, for what ever reason, Rachel felt this was a viable option. She made a choice. All any of us can do is try and make sure she never sees this as an option again."

*End Flashback*

Rachel hasn't spoken since the fever broke and she became lucid. It's the longest I have ever witnessed her quiet, including the time she had Laryngitis She looks around, looks down at her bandaged arm and sighs. The TV is on. I'm pretending to watch it, while really watching her. I think she knows this. I never was good at being subtle.

Finally she looked at me without catching my eye. "Why?" She asked in a quiet, broken voice. I never thought I'd hear her voice quiet, or her spirit it broken. She always seemed above it all. The fact that it's a one word sentence and not a paragraph is also disconcerting. I'm dating Rachel; I have to know some big words.

"Why what?" I stare at her confused. I've given up pretending to watch TV by now. She still refuses to look me in the eye.

"Why did you save me? Why didn't you let me die? It would have been better for everyone."

"No! Don't you dare talk like that!" I finally snap from everything that's been going on, her words act as my trigger. I quickly go to sit on the bed and take her uninjured hand in my own. "Baby the world does need you. I need you." I hesitate before saying the words I thought were implied, but I haven't actually spoken. "I love you Rach."

Tears are streaming from her eyes as she puts her head in her hands and begins to sob. I immediately pull her into my arms and begin to walk with her. She leans into me and sobs harder. I just hold on tighter, not wanting to let go.

"It'll be okay. I love you. We'll get though this."

After a while she finally calms down. I don't let go. She snuggles closer while I lay us down on the cramped hospital bed, her uninjured hand finds my and she entwines our fingers while her head rests in the crook of my neck. I pull our joined hands up and kiss the knuckles before placing it on top of my chest.

Eventually I'll have to let her out of the safety of my arms. The psychiatrist is coming to see what kind of plan we will need to make. Things are about to get harder. Things always have to get harder before they get better. I don't care. She's worth it. I close my eyes and concentrate on the now, trying to ignore the fact that there would be more pain before the healing can start.