Title: (Don't know. I'm open to suggestions.)

Pairing: Rachel/ Santana, maybe Quinn/Brittany

Rating: PG-13 for now

Summary: I truly do love you. I know at school nothing can change.

Warnings: Attempted suicide

Disclaimer: I own nothing

A/N: I'm not really sure about this chapter. Also this is Santana. There is only so much she can do before she snaps. I feel a Santana-blow-up out-of –frustration-and-helplessness coming on. Also once again thank you for the reviews.

Part 5: Falling Star

*Three weeks later*

Rachel is back in school. The psychiatrist decided that she would be better suited to out patient treatment. I was thrilled. It meant I would still be able to see her. She was to stay home from school for two weeks then go back.

For the two weeks that she was home things seemed fine, awkward, but fine. Now that she's back at school, I hoped things would get a little better. I know it was a vain, stupid hope.

I had promised myself that I would protect her. I don't have to be afraid of losing my family over who I love. I'm free to protect her. I made sure to let everyone know, the day she came back to school that she was off limits. I made sure to enlist the only four good jocks in our school for help, just in case I needed back up.

I am so glad I listened to Q. I had almost forgotten how smart she is. She is the one that suggested we hold an unofficial glee meeting. Most may be at the bottom and horrible gossip/ wannbe divas aka Kurt and Mercedes, but we are a team and if nothing else they will be able to be there for Rachel during the parts of the day I can't.

*Flashback*

Everyone from glee is gathered in the Berry's living room. Minnie B is upstairs taking a nap. Q is sitting on the arm chair with B on her lap an a baby monitor in her hand. Artie is next to the chair with Tina on his lap. Mike, Matt and puck are sitting on the floor around the chair and couch. Finn, Kurt and Mercedes are on the couch and Rachel and I are on the love seat. Richard and Kevin are in the kitchen in case we need them.

More then a few eyebrows rose and mouths fell open when Rachel and I sat next to each other. Really where did they think I disappeared to after everything went down? I know the rest of the club wasn't allowed to visit, but still, one of us commits suicide and another disappears somewhere even coach can't reach. These people can figure out that Puck's the daddy but not that Rachel and I are together. The fact that Puck flat out said he was the father is beyond the point.

I scowl as I take in everyone's reactions. With the exception of the two blonde girls everyone was shocked. "Close your mouths and keep them closed. One negative comment and I'll make Coach Sylvester look like a saint." My bitch face was on full force.

Everyone automatically closed their mouths. Quinn just smirked at me. Her and B think its funny when I act tough. They know who I am.

I feel a hand slip into mine and I sigh. This is why we had the no touching rule at school. Just a brush of skin against skin and I'm mush. It's hard to act like you hate someone when you turn from a tigress to a kitten when that happens.

I look over at my girl. I smile before looking back to the group. Everyone but Q and B are pretending not to notice for fear of pain. Britt is smiling widely while Quinn is mouthing the word whipped. I just shrug.

"First order of business," I state gruffly. "Rachel is my girl. Anyone does anything to upset her in any way, shape, or form and they'll get worse then a slushy facial. Finnocence, Puck, Wonder Twins that means you better stop your jockabes or you won't have enough to make a team when I'm done." The boys, minus Kurt and Artie, nod. I smile when I realize even Puck is to afraid to be , well, Puckish.

It makes me feel good knowing that I'm finally going to be using my power to help, rather then hurt, my girl. Rachel snuggled into me more. I'm still not sure how I can make things better, but I think this is helping a little bit.

"Second, no one is to speak about what happened unless Rachel specifically wishes to talk about it with you. Understood?" I watched as everyone nodded again. I look at Rachel again to see if she has anything to add. She just sits there, seemingly lost and heartbreakingly silent. I never thought I'd miss her incessant rambling so much.

She hasn't really spoken to me since that day in the hospital. I don't know what to do. I know its going to take time before she believes she is worth anything According to the psychiatrist she has years of repressed pain to deal with. I should be happy she still lets me near her, still looks for me for some form of comfort. I just keep hoping it not too late, that the damage isn't completely irreversible.

I grip her hand tighter in my own as Quinn takes over. She was always better at planning. She fills in the rest of the club on how everything was going to go and who had what row. I continued holding Rachel hoping that this will work. That stopping the bullies will help.

*End Flashback*

I sigh as I'm temporarily brought back to reality. I seem to space out as much as B lately. It's glee today. Mr. Shue is talking. Nobody is listening. Something about winning Sectionals, I think. I haven't been paying attention. Rachel is here thankfully. She is sitting next to me, as lost in thought as I was a second.

Normally she would be taking notes, or living outrages that someone else is getting a solo. Mr. Shue did in fact give Mercedes a solo that rightly belongs to Rachel. Instead of going off in a diva fit, or something she just sighs and nods. I'm not quite sure he knew how to handle that.

I wanted to kill him. I feel like he is disregarding Rachel and proving her right. He knows why she has been out. Instead of trying to help her, he is taking away her music. What is worse is that she isn't fighting it.

I don't like this. Glee was supposed to help. Mr. Shue is supposed to be a good teacher. Rachel is supposed to fight. Instead she is falling. She is supposed to be a gold star, shining brighter then the sun. I know it's only been three weeks. I know that the therapy has only just begun. That doesn't make it hurt any less.

My star seems to be falling faster then before. I'm trying to let her know I'm here. It's hard. As fine as things appeared those first two weeks, it's now worse then when I had to watch her kill herself. I sometimes think we really were too late. The girl I'm looking at doesn't seem like anything more then a ghost. You can see her, but she isn't actually there.