It was a leisurely morning. Nathaniel had wrapped Elissa in his arms to warm her against the coolness of the morning.

"How did you sleep, Liss?" Nathaniel asked her.

"Fine," she said. "No darkspawn dreams, but there haven't been any since we killed the Mother."

"Do you ever dream about when you were a child? When you were kidnapped?"

She shook her head. "Not that I recall. It really wasn't all that memorable, Nate. Rather a boring month I spent there."

Nathaniel tucked her head under his chin. "I think there's more to this than you remember, Liss."

"Naw," she said.

"Liss, you do have dreams. Terrible dreams I can't even wake you up from but you don't remember them the next day. And then you make those drawings."

Elissa pulled away from him and looked at him like he was insane. "Drawings? What are you talking about?"

Nathaniel looked at her. She has no memory of the drawings? "I'll get them." He got out of bed and went to his old room, where he had hidden the drawings.

She had gotten out of bed and pulled a robe on when he returned. She was crouched in front of the fireplace, nursing last night's embers back into a decent fire. He sat down on the sofa in front of the fireplace. She settled down on the seat next to him, looking at him warily. He held a stack of crumpled papers in his hand. He handed her the top page, a picture of a doll with a missing eye and dripping a dark fluid.

Elissa's face went white. "That's doll I played with. I remember it."

Nathaniel watched her reaction. "Why is the doll bleeding?"

She rubbed her forehead. "I don't know. Let me see another one."

He handed her the picture of the girl looking terrified in the corner, cringing away from the vines trying to seize her.

She stared at it and shook her head. "Me, I suppose."

"What's happening in this picture, Liss?" he asked.

She shook her head. "I don't know. My room was a big room, with a window facing a field of harvested...", she flinched, "...oats. Not vines."

She picked up the next picture. The man with the vial and she shrugged. She went through the rest of the drawings, all variations on the same themes. "I don't know what to say, Nathaniel. I don't remember anything except the doll and I can't remember drawing these pictures."

Nathaniel rubbed his chin. "Liss, I told Anders about this and showed him the pictures. He thought maybe there was blood magic at work." He pointed at the man holding the vial. "He said that could be a phylactery. Maybe they harvested blood from you for the month you were there?"

Elissa shook her head. "It's not what I remember, but my memories... they don't feel like they really happened. It's like it happened to someone else." She shook her head. "This is crazy. Why would anyone want the blood of a ten year old child?"

"Because they were counting on you growing up and being someone influential someday?" Nathaniel said. "For all they knew you could marry a King someday. You'd be in a perfect position to influence politics or even take the throne if he died."

Elissa laughed sourly. "Well, they missed their chance with me. That's not going to happen. It seems like if they wanted to do something, they would have done so right after the Blight."

"Doesn't it worry you that someone may have your blood and might control you with it? They'd have the perfect assassin in you. Someone trained to kill like a Crow and too important to suspect."

Elissa curled into Nathaniel and sighed. "It's always something, isn't it? But what can I do? I don't remember enough to be able to say for sure."

He stroked her long brown hair. "Let's talk to Anders. Maybe he could help you get to those memories and we could figure out what happened."

...

"I don't know of any way of getting to your memories, Elissa. I suppose I could try different herbs on you and see if you can get relaxed enough to be able to remember."

Elissa looked at Nathaniel and he nodded. "We have to try, Liss."

She nodded at Anders. "Okay, do your best."

Anders smiled. "I have to warn you, you're not going to feel like working after you do this, or doing much of anything really."

"I've been meaning to take a day off," she said. "Let's just do this."

"Come up to my room. All my herbs are up there."

Nathaniel and Elissa followed him up to his room. The place looked like a hurricane had been through there. Books were everywhere. Laying open on the floor, stacked in the chairs, on his bed. What surfaces weren't covered with books were covered with mage robes. It seemed that Anders was incapable of putting anything away. His bookshelf was nearly empty of books.

"Sorry about the mess," he said clearing off a couple of chairs for them. They sat down and watched Anders bustle around his room, looking for his herbs. He finally found them. "This would be a good start. Very relaxing." He stuffed some dried leaves into a pipe and lit it, taking a few puffs himself. "Ahhhh," he sighed as he exhaled. "Good stuff."

Elissa looked up at him. "I have to smoke it?" She wrinkled her nose.

"Just inhale a little and hold it as long as you can, then let it go," Anders coached her.

She held the pipe to her mouth and gently inhaled. She immediately started to cough and smoke spewed out of her mouth.

"Just try it again," Anders said, his eyes half-closing.

She put it up to her mouth and drew on it again. She managed to suppress the urge to cough. She held her breath until she felt she was going to pass out. Then she let the smoke free.

"Feel anything?" Anders asked.

She shrugged. "Not really."

"Try it again," he said.

She drew on the pipe again, taking a bigger draw. This time a sort of lethargy crept into her. She smiled at Anders. "Oh, that's rather nice." She fell back into the chair bonelessly. The pipe dangled from her fingers and Nathaniel snatched it up before she dropped it.

"Try it, Nate," Anders invited him. "It's mild, wears off in an hour or so."

Nathaniel took a draw on the pipe and managed not to cough it back out. Then suddenly a wave of relaxation came over him. He handed the pipe to Anders who took another draw on it, then he put the pipe out.

"Nate, why don't you go get us something to eat," Anders suggested.

Elissa nodded. "Good idea, Anders."

Nathaniel left them to find a servant to bring them some food. He returned a few minutes later and found Anders and Elissa were giggling helplessly.

"Anders," Nathaniel shook his arm. "I think you're forgetting why we're here, doing this."

He sat up and wiped away his tears of laughter. "Oh right. Um, here. I can fix this." He cast a spell on himself and he looked more serious and his eyes weren't half-closed any longer. "Let's see if Elissa can get to more memories."

Elissa giggled. "I remember that time Anders lost a bet to Oghren and had to eat dinner dressed as a woman."

Nathaniel shook his head. "Those aren't the memories we're looking for." He handed the stack of drawings to Elissa. "Look at these and see if anything comes back to you."

She shuffled through them and handed them back. "Nope."

The servant came in with the tray of food and Elissa fell on it like she was starving.

"What else do you have, Anders?" Nathaniel asked.

He got up and rummaged around in a drawer and pulled out a little vial. "This one is stronger. It puts you into a sort of trance. You can respond to questions but that's about all." He poured out a tiny amount on a spoon and gave it to Elissa. She licked the drop out and fell back into the chair unconscious.

"Um, Anders, she's unconscious."

"No, she only looks that way. She's just in a trance. By the way, if there's anything you ever really wanted to know, you could ask her and she'd tell you the absolute truth."

"Would she remember?" he asked.

Anders shook his head.

There was one question Nathaniel was dying to ask. "Leave the room, Anders. I don't think she would want you to hear this question or her answer."

"Oh come on, no secrets between Wardens, right?" he said.

"Since when?" Nathaniel replied. "Get out."

Anders got up and left, pulling the door shut.

Nathaniel reached over and took her hand. "Do you still love Alistair?" he asked.

She was unresponsive for a moment then she said, "No."

Nathaniel smiled and leaned over to kiss her on the forehead. There was one more question he wanted to ask, but he was afraid of the answer. He went to the door and opened it and beckoned Anders in.

"Liss, what do you remember of the kidnapping when you were 10 years old?"

"The doll," she said.

Nathaniel looked puzzled. She didn't say the usual story this time.

"Liss, what do you remember about the man with the vial?"

"Nothing," she said.

"Where were you?"

"I don't know," she said.

"This is different," he said to Anders. "Usually she has a whole story she says about the time she was kidnapped."

Anders rubbed his jaw. "If they removed her memories with blood magic it might take the same to bring them back."

Nathaniel nodded. "Well, it was a worthwhile experiment. How long before this wears off?"

"A few hours. Wait, I have a question for her." Anders had a silly grin on his face. "Do you think I'm sexy?"

"Yes," she replied.

"Ha! I knew it. I should have made my move. You beat me to it."

Nathaniel glared at him. "Stop invading her privacy! And no, she never would have gone for you. We understood each other from the start."

"What do you mean? You wanted to kill her."

"Well, after that."

"Right. Well, if you screw this up, buddy, I'm going for it."

Nathaniel glared at him.

"I know a blood mage," Anders confessed, returning to the topic.

"Really? Do you trust him? Would he help us?"

"Well, he helped me hide from the templars for awhile. I think we could trust him. He's a weird old guy, but I think he's okay."

Nathaniel looked suspicious. "You think..."

"Have you got any candidates for honest, law-abiding blood mages to entrust this to?" Anders asked.

Nathaniel shook his head.

"I thought not. He's about a day's ride away. I could take you two to him."

Nathaniel bit his lip. "I'll discuss it with her when she wakes. We'll see what she says." He bent over and picked her up. "Get the door, would you?" Elissa wasn't light.

He carried her back to their room and put her on their bed and let her sleep. If nothing else they had learned that the memories she said she had of the kidnapping were false. That was at least something. And what he learned about Alistair put the last niggling doubt to rest that he had. Whether or not she loved him, he didn't know, but at least she didn't love Alistair.