I still don't own Charmed and I hope somebody out there is enjoying my ideas. Just remember as you read the journals Chris is not a normal 15 year old, he's had to grow up to fast. Let me know what ya think good or bad. Thanks!

CHAPTER 3

Journal entries:

Today is the one year anniversary of mom's death and I still can't believe she's gone. Every time I close my eyes I see her dying in my arms, I see the pain in her eyes even as she tried to assure me of her love for me, that I was not responsible, that her dying was not my fault.

I sat here writing this, in the journal that would be her last gift to me, and I can't help but feel the guilt that has been pushing me to carry on since her dying breath, there are so many things I want to say to her, things I want to apologize for. Maybe this was one of the reasons she gave me this journal, maybe she knew a time would come where she wouldn't be here for me to tell all my secrets to, I could never keep anything from her, we were to much alike, it was almost as though she could read my mind. I've never been able to bring myself to write anything but today seems the perfect day to do so, it makes me feel closer to her, that I can say what I want and she'll know that its meant for her and her alone. I feel her presence and know that for the first time I can say all the things I've wanted to say to her for the past year.

Mom, I'm so sorry, sorry that you were trying to cheer me up instead of paying attention when the demon shimmered in, that I didn't notice him until it was too late. I don't know why I was so upset to begin with, dad was never there and why I thought that day would be any different I'll never know. I don't know why I thought I needed him, I had you, you were the one that was always there for me, the one that never let me down and I well I'm sorry that it's taken me this long to figure out, that you had to die before I realized that you were the only parent I needed.

I'm sorry that I couldn't heal you mom, that there was nothing I could do to take away the pain that I was to weak to make everything better, that your last moments on earth were filled with suffering. Even when you knew your time was up you tried to make it easier on me, me the one person that should have been able to save you, the one person you should have hated at that moment but you didn't. With all the pain in your eyes, I could still see the love there, the love that was always there no matter how badly I messed up, no matter how much I hurt you.

I'm sorry for the things I've had to do since you've been gone, the lying, yeah I know how much you hate lying, but I swear it's the only way. He's left me no choice mom, he's gotten so out of control, so evil, I've started a group to fight him, the Resistance, I promise you I will fix it, I'll make it all better one way or another. He was the one that sent the demon after you mom, the one that took away my ability to heal you, if it were anyone else I'd be trying to kill them but I can't kill him, no matter what he's done, I just can't do it, not to Wy. It's not really him, he's been taken over by evil, I just have to figure out a way to stop him, to make him see what he's done, to bring him back to us, to let him know that no matter what he's done we won't turn our backs on him.

You'll be happy to know that your sister's are helping me in any way they can, they've been great, and they are trying so hard to be there as you would. It's not the same but knowing that I'm not alone gives me hope that one day the world won't seem so hopeless, that we can bring Wyatt back to us and life will go back to normal, as normal as it can without you being in it.

Dad, well he's a different story, I haven't spoken to him since your funeral, when he screamed at me, when he told me what I already knew, that I should have saved you, that your dying was my fault. He never gave me an answer as to why he didn't answer me, but I already know the answer to that, the same reason he never answered me any of the other times I called for him, he hates me. He always has and always will, I can't change that, I see that now, I'm not the son that he wanted me to be, he wanted me to be like my brother and I just couldn't be someone I'm not. Its okay mom, don't worry about it, I've got the aunts and cousins here now, they really are trying to take care of me, I don't need him.

Please know that I love you, I always will and mom I'll keep trying to summon you until they let you come to me, I promise. Oh well I gotta go the aunts are throwing me a birthday party, I'm just not in the mood but then again who would be if their 15th birthday was also the one year anniversary of their mother's death? Oh well, I'll try for them, like I said they really are trying. Oh and mom thanks for the journal last year, I'll cherish it forever, I love you.

Back in the attic:

"Oh my God." Phoebe cried as she was pulled back to reality.

"He loves his mother so much, to have her die on his birthday how horrible." Paige said through sniffles.

"Wyatt?" Piper whispered as she looked to where her baby boy slept, thinking of the things Chris said in his journal.

"Piper, are you okay?" The sisters asked in unison.

"How, I mean why, how can he say these things?"

Paige was the first to speak up. "Piper honey, I know you don't want to hear it but I think we should maybe well, maybe we should take Chris seriously."

"It doesn't make sense Paige, if Wyatt kills his mother why does he not want him dead? Who is he, why does Chris care so much about my son?"

"I don't know, maybe we should call him here and ask him."

"No, I still don't trust him, I don't want him here."

"Piper, I don't think he's lying." Phoebe said looking her big sister in the face. "I felt his pain, I don't know how but somehow Wyatt kills his mother, I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry to, I'm sorry that you're so willing to take the word of a total stranger than you are to believe that there is no way your nephew could do such evil. Chris may have made this all up, he is a master manipulator and I'm not saying his mother didn't die at the hands of a demon and that he didn't have to see that but I just can't believe my baby ordered it."

"Piper…"

"No Paige save it, let's just get back to reading." Piper had felt something tugging at her heart as she had read but she pushed it away so she could concentrate on the task at hand, but a nagging feeling kept creeping up on her, a feeling that she should go and find the boy that had lied his way into their lives and keep him safe.