Disclaimer: All characters belong to Joss Whedon.
More Than I Deserve: Chapter Three
They've been together for fifteen months and Lindsey's never felt about anyone else the way he feels about Anne. She's everything he's always dreamed about and lately he's found himself becoming discontent. He isn't happy with his job or where he is in life. Sure, he makes great money and his current apartment is three times bigger than any of the places he ever lived as a child, but now he finds that all of the perks that come with his job are meaningless. He misses seeing his brothers and sisters. He hates being away from Anne every day. But what he really hates, is the control that Wolfram and Hart has over him.
He knows he could do something about it, but he's not stupid. He didn't get to be a junior partner by being ignorant about the way his firm worked and he's a little afraid of what the senior partners would do to him if he were to break away and live the life he's found himself desiring more and more in the last year. Anne is more than worth the sacrifice, but Lindsey knows that if he gets himself killed she'll never forgive him. In fact, she'd probably find a way to bring him back so that she could kill him herself.
He can't help smiling at that thought. She had figured out pretty quickly that some of his clients weren't human and she hadn't been bothered by it. He still hadn't told her that it was his job to defend them and he knew that if he didn't make a major lifestyle change soon he would have to let her know the truth about his job, but he would cross that bridge when he came to it. For the first time in his life, he was truly happy and he wanted to enjoy the feeling while it lasted.
"You look happy."
Lindsey almost couldn't hold back a groan when he heard the familiar voice. "What do you want, Lilah?"
She shrugged nonchalantly but Lindsey wasn't buying it. "You haven't been yourself lately and I just wanted to make sure everything was okay."
Yeah, right. She was looking for a weakness so that she could take advantage of it and advance her position. Too bad she wasn't going to find one. Sure, he considered Anne a weakness, but he wasn't going to let Wolfram and Hart know that. They prided themselves on knowing every part of their employees' lives, but they didn't know a damn thing about Anne and he would fight like hell to keep it that way. "Everything's fine. Thanks for the concern."
"Are you sure? Because you can always talk to me."
He ground his teeth and barely managed to repress the urge to strangle that smug look off her face. She thought she knew something, but Lindsey always played his cards close to the vest. He'd learned early on never to trust anyone and that lesson had come into play several times since he'd joined an evil law firm. "I'll keep that generous offer in mind. Thank you, Lilah." She smiled again, that saccharine sweet smile she only used when she had the upper hand and Lindsey felt his stomach clench. It was time to stop playing games. "What do you know?"
"Nothing concrete. Just that whoever it is making you smile like that must inspire a great deal of devotion if you're willing to go to such lengths to protect them."
Don't say her name. Don't give anything away. Stay calm and mislead her if you can. "Lilah, the only thing I'm devoted to is my job. If you thought you had something on me, you were wrong. Sorry to disappoint you." The lie made him feel sick, but he'd had no choice. He couldn't let Lilah or anyone else know about Anne. If anything happened to her, he would never forgive himself.