Samantha27, Mana the Cat Magician, Kurdave, AutoKnight01, Ksonic, poka, Novus Umbra, JazzTheHedgehogSingingStar, Writer's Freedom, 01sonamy01, SugarhogRose, CherrletheChicken, IHeartSonAmy, Alyssacookie, OddSakura, ColurfulStar, enustikehtelkcaJ, Mike Prower the Fox, ZehHyperactiveAuthor, ItsStephanyx3, PastaxRocks, MyLoveForYou, SherryBlossom:
Thanks everyone! Glad I wasn't the only one who "enjoyed" breaking Sonic's heart... Half of me wanted to hug him, the other half was like, "feel Amy's pain!" Jeez, I torture Sonic way too much... Ah well, I do it for his own good. ^_^
Enjoy this chapter...
...ooo...xxx...ooo...
Chapter 6: Elusive Dreams
...ooo...xxx...ooo...
The rough bark of a palm tree cut into Amy's back, but the girl was too deep in thought to consider moving to relieve her pain. She was leaning against the tree, her knees bent in front of her, curved to form a sort of desk to cradle her diary.
Amy's gloved hands flipped through the scribble-covered pages, green eyes scanning and rereading over what she'd written over the past day or so, ever since she'd found out that Sonic's heart belonged to another girl. Some of the pages were wrinkled, as they'd dried unevenly after being moistened with tears... others were full of bad attempts at sad poetry... still others were just mindless doodles of broken hearts and hammers.
Amy hadn't planned on becoming a writer, let alone a poet, but it was Vanilla who had encouraged her to write down her thoughts during this dark hour. A healthy outlet, the mother had told her. A good way to work out what it is you're feeling.
Besides, she should have known that all romantics at heart eventually picked up a pen.
She read back over an older poem and sighed:
I don't think it's a joke
The way I start to choke
When I see you
My breaths come out in gasps
And my heart beats fast
When I see you
I feel all tingly inside
And I know I can't deny it
When I see you
All I do is get ignored
But my heart has always soared
When I see you
The more I try and try
The more I get pushed aside
When I see you
All you do is avoid
But I guess I love you boy
When I see you
Her black pen, which Amy had been previously spinning around on her fingers, slipped from her grasp and fell into the sand below her, but Amy didn't bother to pick it up.
She had nothing more to write.
All I do is see him, I can barely catch a glimpse of him... and then he runs away.
Amy dropped her knees to stretch out her long, pink legs, groaning as she slid forward a little. Ugh, I'm so fat.
For a moment her eyes left her diary pages to watch the ocean waves crash on the shore, only to recede back into the sea to make another wave. Sometimes the waves grew, other times it was only a shadow of the previous one. But each time, no matter what... it came back. It continued the chase, endlessly.
Oh, why does it matter? Amy thought bitterly, biting into her lip and looking down at her boots. Why does anything matter? I should be enjoying this... I should but... Sonic...
OH, why do I think about him so much? It's not fair... why does he have my heart in such a vice? Why does he have to hold me captive, and invade my dreams and life? And why does he have to love Blaze? He never even gave me a chance...
I've been through this a million times... and a million times I get no answer. A million times I'm left to wonder.
He looked so happy with her... I should be happy for him, but... I still want him, for myself. I just want to hold him, and kiss him... I want him so badly... but, Ms. Vanilla's right. I have to be happy for him. If he's happy, then... I guess I'll have to be too.
Even though the thought of him being with her is tearing me apart.
She readjusted her posture again, this time crossing her legs, letting her diary fall to her left as her hands reached behind her body to support herself, digging into the warm, grainy sand.
Shouldn't you just move on?
I should, I know...
A breeze drifted by, ruffling Amy's quills, and she frowned.
But I can't... stop... loving him. My heart is not my own. I made up my mind a long time ago, that no matter what, I'd wait for him. I made my choice a long time ago... even though, he's not mine...
But is he really worth all this pain? Is he? Isn't he just a selfish jerk-
No! He's not... he's all I've ever dreamed of... I've never met anyone like him before. He's heart-achingly good-looking, kind, independent, honest, a hero, selfless, confident, brave, fearless...
But why... does he care about everyone except for me? Why is he such a jerk to me? Why can't I have him?
Why does he give his heart to the first new girl that he meets? And why do I continue chasing him?
Feeling a flash of inspiration, Amy scrambled for her pen and opened her diary to a blank page, scrawling down:
Why do I want
what I can't have?
Why hurt myself
in the fruitless chase?
Because
There's the hope
that in the end
it will be worth it
I wouldn't run
if he wasn't
worth pursuing
if I catch him
he will make the
heartache
worthwhile...
Soft footsteps in the sand made Amy look up, and she forced a smile. She was about to offer a greeting to the approaching rabbit and raccoon, but Marine beat her to it.
"Strewth, sheila! Yer sittin' out 'ere by yourself!"
Amy's smile went crooked, and she slipped her diary under her legs to hide it. "Yeah, I guess I am..." By myself, without Sonic...
"We brought you some ice cream," Cream said as she approached, and offered a spare chocolate cone to Amy.
The pink hedgehog extended her arm half-heartedly, accepting the sugar cone despite the ice cream dripping off the side.
"Chao, Chao!" Cheese suddenly said, and Cream looked to her small friend and smiled.
"Oh, you're right Cheese." The rabbit took the chain of blossoms from the chao. "And a flower crown!" Cream said, a little too happily, and coronated Amy's head with the homemade tiara.
"Thanks Cream," Amy muttered, knowing Cream was just trying to make her feel better, but couldn't help but wish it was Sonic giving her flowers.
But no, he was picking the local flora for his girlfriend, that ugly witch...
No, Amy... you can't hate Blaze. If Sonic loves her...
Marine frowned. "Oi, mate, you shouldn't be wastin' time sobbin'. How about a little go on my ship, eh? I fixed it up-"
"No thanks," Amy declined, not feeling up to it.
"Amy... you can't sit around sad all day..."Cream said.
"I know but... No matter what, Sonic's on my mind..." Amy clutched her ice cream tighter in her hand, the cone threatening to pop and spill chocolate all over her dress.
That'd be just my luck.
"But Amy, just sitting around here won't help," Cream tried to reason with her.
Amy glanced back at the ocean and the monotonous, endless rhythm of the waves. Cream's right. Maybe a walk will do you good...
Trying not to groan, Amy lifted herself to stretch her limbs that were sore from sitting before tucking her diary under her arm. For the next half hour or so, she followed the two younger girls around the island, halfway envying how carefree that they were, and wishing that she could be eight years old again.
Oh, when she was eight. For a second, Amy couldn't help but smile, but it quickly disappeared. She remembered that day, five years ago, when she'd first met Sonic, like it'd just happened. When she was eight, Amy had run away from home, led by her Tarot Cards, hoping for a chance to be with the famous blue hedgehog. Of course, she'd only become Metal Sonic bait, but... not for long. For just as soon as she was kidnapped... Sonic had coming rushing to save her. Yes, he'd saved her.
Ever since that day he'd first held her in his strong arms, cradled her close to his body, carried her at impossible speeds away from the breaking Little Planet...
Amy had never been the same.
She still craved to be held by him. They'd had their ups and downs as friends... though mostly downs, but still, Amy had never, ever stopped dreaming and hoping that one day, he'd choose her. One day, he'd hold her and kiss her and say he'd just wanted to protect her and they'd get married...
Yes... that one day had never come.
Five years, Amy. Five... and now Sonic's moved on... he never loved you... he loves another girl now...
It's time to let go...
But I can't! I don't want to! I already made up my mind! Even if he's moved on, I can't... I still love him. My feelings for him haven't gone away! If he loves Blaze then...I'll just have to... be sad.
A little while later, Amy found herself back in Marine's house, absentmindedly playing with her food. The day had gone by so quickly, swallowed up in lonely, selfish, solemn thoughts. She was the quiet one at the table, half listening to Marine chatter on and on, ignoring Cream's sad looks and Vanilla's sympathetic ones, when a familiar gush of air caused everyone to look up from the table.
Only a few feet away from Amy, in the threshold of the door, stood Sonic himself. His body was shaking, like he was gasping for air. What? Had his run taken that much out of him? And where was his girlfriend?
For a moment, Amy was afraid to move or say anything, and she just studied his face. He was biting his lip, and the redness in his eyes made him look like he'd been - what? Crying?
He glanced away, and Tails gasped and stood up, shocked at his brother's appearance.
"Sonic, what happened?" Tails asked.
The hedgehog shook his head, and said with no small amount of pain, "Blaze... she... we're not...together..."
Now everyone gasped at this news, and exchanged shocked glances.
All except for Amy, who remained frozen in her seat, her mind racing.
Oh my gosh, they're not together? They broke up? Sonic is free again? He doesn't love her? I have a chance again? YES!
Amy was about to let out an excited squeal, but when she looked back at Sonic, his visible, obvious misery sucked the excitement right out of her as her heart went out to him.
Oh, but, Sonic... he looks so... how can I be happy if he's hurting so much?
Biting her lip as she studied his heartbroken expression, her own heart hurting, Amy softly spoke up, "Sonic-"
"Amy, I'm not in the mood right now," Sonic said, softly, sadly, and started heading for his room.
"But wait, I just want to-"
"For once in your life will you leave me alone?" A frustrated Sonic snarled, causing Amy's heart to break, yet again, from being rejected.
And then her temper erupted. "Fine! I won't help you!"
She fiercely glared at him, but looking deeply into his eyes, her anger dissipated at seeing how much he truly was hurting. It was masked well, but Amy knew hurt when she saw it.
For a second, the two heartbroken hedgehogs stared at each other, transferring the mutual pain of rejection and annoyance, like looking in a mirror. For one second, they both felt... understood. And for that second, Sonic felt even worse for yelling at her so harshly, but then he simply sped off, slamming the door behind him, not wanting to deal with her right now. Or ever.
Sonic, I'm sorry... Amy thought, staring at the door he'd just run into. She was waging an internal war. Oh, why did I have to snap at him?
"Oh man..." Tails said, and looked back down at his plate before excusing himself from the table. "This isn't going to turn out well..."
...xxx... A little while later ...xxx...
"... and then she just turned and walked away. Like I meant nothing to her, Tails." Sonic closed his green eyes in heartbroken pain. "Nothing."
The fox bit his lip, drawing upon his inexhaustible supply of patience to try and hear the hedgehog out. He had never seen his older brother in such a brooding state before, lying on his back, his hands hidden somewhere in his mess of quills, his lips pulled down into a frown. A deep, dark red burn ran up his inner arm, serving as a visible reminder of the breakup.
Yeah, some vacation this turned out to be, huh?
Tails had been hoping that coming back to this dimension, bringing along Amy, Cream, and her mom, he'd be able to gather some of the amazing new materials that were present only in this world, and figure out a way to bring them back with him - but instead he'd spent the past day and a half nursing the broken hearts of two different hedgehogs.
While Amy had mostly locked herself up to cry and write, Sonic had done the opposite: he'd gone stir crazy, running desperate laps around the tiny island they were on, refusing to ride on any watercraft to go to any other island, but still cursing that there was no big open land to run his heart out.
Ah, Sonic's heart... his heart was now broken. Badly. Tails had only seen Sonic shed tears a few times, and this was one of them, telling by the red rimmed eyes that he refused to look at anyone with... lifeless jade eyes that were now staring up at the ceiling. No, Sonic was not taking this rejection very well at all.
"I just... don't know what's wrong with me, man," Sonic continued, his voice soft and without even a hint of attitude. "I don't feel like... myself. I don't usually sit around and think, I just let things blow past me... but it's... different this time, Tails. I gave Blaze my heart... I've just... never been so attached, so attracted, so caught up in anything before. It just hurts to give someone everything and get nothing back, ya know?"
Where have I heard that before? Tails thought sarcastically. Of course, he had been quick to pick up on the irony and parallelism of both Sonic and Amy's situations. They were both going through major heartbreak.
"I mean, how can she be so... heartless? Why doesn't she like me? What did I do wrong? I just don't get girls..." he trailed off and then turned back to the fox, facing him head on, though he was still lying down. "Tails, you listen yer big bro. Don't ever get involved with girls. They steal your heart, get your hopes up, and then leave ya hangin'. It's not worth it, buddy."
"So you're swearing off girls?" Tails asked, a little amused.
"Yep," he said. "Dating's just not for me. I've always been independent, and I'm going back to that. I just... need to get Blaze outta my head."
Tails allowed a small smile to creep up his muzzle. He knew Sonic; in a week or so, this would all be forgotten, and Sonic would be back to being the guy they all knew and loved. Surely. He'd get over this and move on, just like he always did. But in the meantime, he needed someone to understand him.
"Hey, have you talked with Amy yet?" Tails asked, tilting his head slightly.
As bad as Sonic was feeling, thoughts of the pink hedgehog just made him feel even worse. He groaned and readjusted his frame, only to wince as one of his sharp quills cut into the nasty burn. "Well gee, you really know how to cheer a guy up."
"Well, maybe I can't, but Amy knows exactly how you're feeling, you know..."
"Tails, I'm not talking with her. Forget it." It's not even up for debate, Sonic thought.
"But Sonic, you promised!" Tails protested. He knew very well that the only thing to make both hedgehogs feel better would be each other.
Sonic shook his head, and continued quietly, "That was when me and Blaze were together. I'm off the hook now."
Disappointment flooded Tails' body. It was fair enough, but still... Amy was maybe the only one of their friends who could help Sonic out, and yet the hedgehog refused to talk to her.
"Your loss, Sonic," he muttered, sure that the older hedgehog could hear him, though he made no sign that he had. "Well, either way... don't you think we should be getting back home soon?" Tails ventured. "I mean, we've been here for about half a week now..."
"Nah... I'm sure Knux can handle Eggy for a few days without us," Sonic said flippantly, not quite wanting to leave yet, though part of him knew that might be for the best.
Silence passed between the brothers as a renegade breeze upset some nearby wind chimes, creating a high pitched jingle.
"So what are you going to do now?" Tails asked, tilting his head a little.
In a quick movement, Sonic sat back upright, his elbows resting on his knees which were danging off the windowsill he was sitting in, his chin cupped in his hands. "I dunno. I don't... I can't give up. I just can't stop thinking about Blaze..." he sighed, and tried shaking his head to clear it, but when it came to rest, all he saw was Blaze, and her attractive face, her athletic figure...
He jumped down from the window sill, his shoes absorbing the shock. "I'm gonna go on another run, Tails... see if that'll help. It always has before." A forced but obviously crooked smile twisted his lips.
"Alright, then. I still think that you should talk to-"
Not wanting to hear the end of that sentence, Sonic took off at half his average running speed, his heart just not into it. It didn't help that there wasn't all that much room to run here, anyway, because of the cursed water surrounding the island. But still... he was tired of moping around and he needed to move. It didn't suit him to brood. He wasn't built to think and worry about his problems. He wasn't Shadow.
But still, there was something about Blaze that wouldn't leave him alone. Something that had taken his heart captive. He knew that she didn't love him... but what did that matter? Still, Sonic felt his heart aching for Blaze, wanting to hold and kiss her again. Even though she wouldn't have him.
Oh gee, I pressured her too much, didn't I? Ah... I just couldn't help myself. I fell for her really hard...those feelings were so powerful. I never knew this mushy stuff would be so strong. I've never felt so captive by how I felt before...
A voice coming from behind a nearby bush hit his ears, and had Sonic been running any faster, the wind would've drowned it out, but as it was, he heard it clearly. His shoes scuffled across the ground, kicking up dust in the process of slowing down. Finally, Sonic came to a complete halt, his ears swiveled in the direction of the voice he loved much too much.
"Yes. I'm just glad that it's over now."
It was her. Blaze.
"You know, I find that pretty amazing."
And with her? Silver.
"What's that?"
Oh, all of the symphonies in the world couldn't compare to that voice... yet she was talking to another guy.
"That you dumped Sonic like that."
Sonic inhaled a painful breath. Walk away, walk away, walk away, don't torture yourself, he thought. Really, what will eavesdropping get you but more heartache? Yet his feet were firmly planted into the ground, his ears stuck in the direction of the pair, not able to pull himself from them.
"Why is that?"
"Well... you know who he is. He's a hero. The hero. You know any girl would've killed to be in your shoes, right? I mean, to be Sonic's girl. You should've heard all the gossip today. They were saying, 'only Princess Blaze would reject and refuse Sonic the Hedgehog'," Silver smiled a little.
But I don't want those other girls! ... I want you, Blaze... the one girl I can't have... is the one I want.
Figures.
"I don't care what anyone says, Silver. I just don't like Sonic. And that's that."
"I know you don't care what others say, Blaze... and that's... incredible. You really are an amazing girl."
Yes... yes you are, Blaze, Sonic thought sadly. But you just won't be mine. Why not? What did I do wrong?
On the other side of the bush from the distressed hedgehog, Blaze turned back to her silver companion and was momentarily startled as her heart jumped in her chest as her eyes traced his tender expression. Her heart was now pumping quickly, and her breath caught in her throat. What... could that be... was that what love felt like? Every single gesture that Silver made, looking down at his boots and biting his lip, clenching and unclenching his fists... everything he did made Blaze's heart flutter more and more. Sonic had never made her feel like this. No one had ever made her feel like this.
What was she feeling? Blaze hadn't the slightest clue.
But she liked it.
Feeling the cat's eyes on him, warmth crawled up Silver's muzzle. Why was she staring at him? Could she be... Yeah right, Silv. You know she doesn't. If she rejected Sonic, there's no way she's gonna like you. She's just thinking is all.
Blaze was thinking. Should I tell him about what I feel? No... I shouldn't. I've already practically ruined Sonic and I's friendship over these irrational feelings. I don't want to ruin my friendship with Silver, too. I shouldn't rush into anything.
She cleared her throat. "Silver, I wanted to thank you for sticking up for me back there. It wasn't necessary, but I appreciated it nevertheless."
"Oh, that wasn't a problem. I didn't want him to keep bothering you. I just... I don't like to see you in trouble."
Blaze found herself smiling. "Thanks again. I've... I've never had a friend like you before. Sonic may have told me about relationships, but you... you let me experience feelings for myself. I... " Blaze froze, almost scared of how much of her heart she'd just bared. Her shyness surfacing along with an accompanying blush, Blaze looked away from Silver.
Had she said too much? What would he say to that?
Just when she was about to stand, or change the subject, she felt a strong hand placed gently on top of hers, causing a shock to run down her spine.
"Blaze... we don't have to rush into anything together...I want to be your friend still..." Silver trailed off, and then looked deeply into her golden eyes. "But... when you're ready to, and if you want to be more... then... I'll be here for you."
Sonic clenched his jaw, almost fuming. Yeah, yeah, yeah, talk real smooth, pretty boy. You just wanna-
He shot the terrible thought from his brain and took off again, not wanting to hear anymore, not wanting to think any more.
Now, more than ever, Sonic felt like he'd lost. And now he knew that he'd have to get over Blaze, for she was now more or less taken. And he was not a girlfriend-snatching type of guy.
But Silver, really? Blaze likes him? What's so good about Silver? He's not even as cool as I am... what has he got that I don't?
It's over, man. Ya gotta get over Blaze. She's just not the girl for you. You're overreacting, big time. Get over it. His rational side screamed.
I know, okay? You think I don't know that? I can't seem to just turn these feelings off. I really, really wish I could outrun them, like I do everything else...
Oh, what is wrong with me? I don't do this brooding stuff... I'm starting to act like Shadow.
Or Amy...
Turning on a dime, Sonic zipped back to Marine's house and burst through the door, ignoring Cream, Amy, Marine, and Vanilla, who were gathered in the main room, and zipped right up to Tails.
"Tails, get the portal ready. We're going back home."
The fox looked up at Sonic's frazzled expression. "Now?"
"Yeah," was all Sonic said, but he was thinking, I'm done here. "Now."
...xxx... A/N ...xxx...
Gah, this chapter was too long! I got long winded... but I wanted to really drive home how Sonic and Amy are feeling before we get to next chapter, the really good parts.
Also, I'm a sucker for Sonic and Tails brotherly and wanted to write more of it (How can you not like it?) I also wanted to leave Silver and Blaze off on a happy note. =)
The whole Amy part... I wanted her to remain faithful to Sonic, and for her to make a decision to keep on loving him no matter what. That's the only way this story would work. I didn't want to go down the "Screw you Sonic! OMG Shadow!" route so many people have worn down. Though for the record, I do think there are some good stories like that... but I don't plan on adding to the pile. ^^ (Sorry if you like Shadamy...)
And in case you're wondering, I did write that poem... 5 years ago. So it is something a 13 year old would write. ^_^ The second one, with free verse, I wrote today. ^_^ I used to write poetry all the time, but I've found I like prose better. I hope you guys liked my poetry!
Either way... Ch. 7 will a lot of fun, I promise you that much... ^_^ So thank you, thank you, thank you for putting up with these first six chapters... Things can only improve for both hedgehogs now!