I needed something to do in my free time. This will (eventually) be 100 AxI ficlets themed after whatever song is playing on my iPod while I'm writing, with no duplicates. The story will either be themed after the song, have the song's lyrics interposed in the story, or have the characters quoting the lyrics, or any combination of the three. I am not doing this as a part of an "official" challenge. This is a personal challenge. There will be touches of AU and OOC-ness throughout the ficlets.
That said, I own nothing. No songs, no Hellsing, no nothing.
Because I saw a commercial that involved the phrase 'hit me with your pet shark' and my ribs hurt from laughing so hard.
Enjoy!
07. "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" – Pat Benatar
Another day, another pile of paperwork. Integra was bent over her desk writing in yet another report regarding collateral damage caused by Alucard. Furiously, her pen scratched across the page. She hoped to get this stack done early so perhaps for once she could get a proper night's rest.
She jumped when the doors to her office burst open and in strode none other than the cause of her paperwork – Alucard. And he was singing. Though at least he had used the door this time.
"Hit me with your pet shark!" he sang loudly.
"Apologies, Integra…" started Walter, poking his head around one side of the doorframe.
"We couldn't stop him. He was too strong," said Seras apologetically from the other side.
The vampire continued to belt out the – incorrect, mind – lyrics to Pat Benatar's song. "Why don't you hit me with your pet shark?"
Integra groaned and began to rummage in her desk drawer, either for some Advil or her gun. Whichever she found first. "You might want to get out of the way," she warned Walter and Seras.
Alucard failed to hear Integra's warning to Walter and Seras; he was too absorbed in his song. "Hit me with your pet shark! Fire away!"
"Gladly," muttered Integra as she noted that Walter and Seras were gone. With a small, wicked grin on her face, she pulled out her handy-dandy pistol packed with silver bullets just for Alucard. Aiming at the vampire's open mouth, the fired once, twice, three times.
Though she knew it was a waste of bullets, it was rather satisfying to see Alucard choking on the silver and his face ripped to shreds.